Tonight I had my best ladies over for dinner and drinks. It's the last Saturday night of 2013 for me here in Canada and I couldn't resist spending the time with my favourite ladies celebrating each other.
It was a night filled with much wine, fun and laughter! It`s hard to filter down the awesome moments! That said, there were two moments that really stand out for me.
The first is an app that Heini introduced us to. Vivino. Wow. How much fun is this wine app?? I loved it instantly and I think the more I use it the more likely I'll end up buying the pro version. FINALLY a way to manage my fridge of wines! AMAZING!
The second awesome moment was when Bunny shared a bath time story with the group of us. It was of her youngest son pooping in the bath. Of course, there were rounds of laughter as Bunny acted out the scene. Shortly after the first rounds of laughter were dying down, I asked when her youngest had done this. Her reply? Just minutes before she had headed out to meet up with us! Another round of laughter ensued. And then we learned that her hubby actually picked up the feces bare handed. After a room going eeeeeeew....we all laughed again.
So much laughter tonight. Yup. Amazing time with the ladies tonight.
Moments finding an app that really is perfect for you.
Moments enjoying your friends in 2013 and looking forward to many more in 2014.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
Moments D585: Peace at last
Today my Grandmother passed away. She was the last of my living grandparents. That alone is a strange notion. After all, life is always moving forward. This now means that my father is the eldest of the family. Of course, that also shines a bright light upon his mortality as well. All the more reason to
For me, my heart is accepting of the news. It's partially because I didn't know her well as she and Grandpa lived on Manitoulin Island for most of my childhood and early adult years. It's also because the woman I knew has been gone for years, lost to Alzheimer's.
For my father, of course, that's a different story. As the current patriarch of the family, he lost his mother and the last link to that generation. Being the executor of Grandma's estate, he also found himself tied up with lots of phone calls and logistics right out of the gate.
The moment today comes from when I was finally able to connect with my Dad on the phone. I was a touch worried that he was in "get-the-job-done" mode and not really processing the news. So I tentatively explored that with him.
He's sad. There's no doubt about that. He's also relieved that Grandma has found peace at last. The past two years in particular have been challenging with Grandma (and for him) and it's been a painful, emotional ride to have watched his mother deteriorate as she did. I didn't realize this (because he shared few details when I've asked of Grandma), but Grandma wasn't eating solid foods any more and she's had a couple of terrible seizures in the past few months. In other words, there have been signs that the end was nearing.
For my Dad, he finds comfort in knowing that Grandma is at peace now, that she'll suffer no more.
For a brief moment, my father and I re-visited our opinions on euthanasia and how he hopes that he'll have to experience what my grandmother went through. He even shared with me that Grandma feared the disease that eventually consumed her and that had there been options, she never would have suffered as she did.
Nature took over and now she is at peace.
Our family is thankful for that. We will always celebrate the woman she once was.
Moments of death.
Moments celebrating a life.
For me, my heart is accepting of the news. It's partially because I didn't know her well as she and Grandpa lived on Manitoulin Island for most of my childhood and early adult years. It's also because the woman I knew has been gone for years, lost to Alzheimer's.
For my father, of course, that's a different story. As the current patriarch of the family, he lost his mother and the last link to that generation. Being the executor of Grandma's estate, he also found himself tied up with lots of phone calls and logistics right out of the gate.
The moment today comes from when I was finally able to connect with my Dad on the phone. I was a touch worried that he was in "get-the-job-done" mode and not really processing the news. So I tentatively explored that with him.
He's sad. There's no doubt about that. He's also relieved that Grandma has found peace at last. The past two years in particular have been challenging with Grandma (and for him) and it's been a painful, emotional ride to have watched his mother deteriorate as she did. I didn't realize this (because he shared few details when I've asked of Grandma), but Grandma wasn't eating solid foods any more and she's had a couple of terrible seizures in the past few months. In other words, there have been signs that the end was nearing.
For my Dad, he finds comfort in knowing that Grandma is at peace now, that she'll suffer no more.
For a brief moment, my father and I re-visited our opinions on euthanasia and how he hopes that he'll have to experience what my grandmother went through. He even shared with me that Grandma feared the disease that eventually consumed her and that had there been options, she never would have suffered as she did.
Nature took over and now she is at peace.
Our family is thankful for that. We will always celebrate the woman she once was.
Moments of death.
Moments celebrating a life.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Moments D584: Giving Thanks
Today was a challenging day for me on many levels. First of all, it was an extra long work day as I had an event today. It was an emotional day as I dealt with the final stages of letting go of a friendship. And it was an emotional day because my love was 3000+ miles away and feeling lonely on one of the biggest holidays in the states.
So very, very challenging.
When I was on my way home and I was asked to Skype into the Thanksgiving festivities in SoCal. I was tired from a 13 hour work day, but I couldn't say no to EQ. Besides, it warmed my heart to hear that my new friends from SoCal wanted to connect with me too. But, before I go any further and share my moment of today, let me take the time to introduce a couple of my new SoCal friends.
Sunshine-Unicorns&Rainbows (SUR) is an incredible woman, filled with a bubbling energy and positive outlook on life. She also happens to love unicorns....and rainbows.....and sparkly shit. I have no doubt that as we get to know one another more and more, she and I will become close friends. She is married to:
Say-it-like-it-is (SILIS) is a warm, witty and shoot-from-the-hip kinda guy. Honestly, he says it like it is. No shit. He also loves food. (hmmmm. I love food....) He and Sunshine-Unicorns&Rainbows are such a fun couple to have in my circle. The love between them is obvious and they are so filled with laughter and positive energy!
The other couple at dinner, I've met but not had a lot of time to get to know just yet, so I'm not ready to give them nicknames. (It wouldn't be fair!) Suffice it to say, that T&T are going to be a ton of fun. From what I saw tonight, they too are a fun loving couple. Bottom line, I was laughing and smiling so hard tonight because of the group dynamics. If I were there in person? Boy-oh-boy would there be trouble!
Back to the story of today's moment.
My love felt like a fifth wheel and was quite excited to have me home and dialling in. Me, I was worried I wouldn't have enough energy to share with the excited group of friends.
And then my moment of the day hit me. Once connected EQ walked me around the room to show me where everyone was sitting, I found myself excited by their chatter, banter and side conversations. There were quips and digs, and even a random hug in the background. It was perfect. The light and love that came pouring through from SUR, SILIS, T&T and EQ filled me with a third wind.
As we settled down, the first thing they had me do was pour myself a drink and then share with them what I was thankful for.
(Nothing like being put on the spot!)
But honestly, that's easy for me. I'm ever grateful for the family I have. Not only my blood family (but I am very fortunate to have the blood family I do), but I'm also grateful for those family members born of friends pulled into my deepest inner circles. I know I am lucky to have such a strong support system around me. Most of all, I am fortunate to have ever found EQ. How in the universe did we manage to find one another? He's rocked my world and I will never be the same now that I've had him in my life.
And in the end, I stayed online with them for over an hour. We shared stories of love and engagement. Stories of silly rumours and how two very strong, independent women became fast friends in spite of the rumours. I watched as they poured more drinks and continued with the banter. And, in the end when I hit my wall of exhaustion and I couldn't simply holdout any longer they were all very warm with their goodbyes and sharing that they were looking forward to my arrival in SoCal next month.
Yes. My heart was warm from tonight's Skype with new friends in SoCal. Great idea EQ.
As I reflect now upon the evening and in the vein of giving thanks, I can't help but circle back to how fortunate I am to have an amazing man like EQ in my life and for him to have introduced me into a new circle of friends. They are amazing people.
Moments pushing past the exhaustion.
Moments pausing to give thanks and enjoying the ample light and love flowing from holiday celebrations.
So very, very challenging.
When I was on my way home and I was asked to Skype into the Thanksgiving festivities in SoCal. I was tired from a 13 hour work day, but I couldn't say no to EQ. Besides, it warmed my heart to hear that my new friends from SoCal wanted to connect with me too. But, before I go any further and share my moment of today, let me take the time to introduce a couple of my new SoCal friends.
Sunshine-Unicorns&Rainbows (SUR) is an incredible woman, filled with a bubbling energy and positive outlook on life. She also happens to love unicorns....and rainbows.....and sparkly shit. I have no doubt that as we get to know one another more and more, she and I will become close friends. She is married to:
Say-it-like-it-is (SILIS) is a warm, witty and shoot-from-the-hip kinda guy. Honestly, he says it like it is. No shit. He also loves food. (hmmmm. I love food....) He and Sunshine-Unicorns&Rainbows are such a fun couple to have in my circle. The love between them is obvious and they are so filled with laughter and positive energy!
The other couple at dinner, I've met but not had a lot of time to get to know just yet, so I'm not ready to give them nicknames. (It wouldn't be fair!) Suffice it to say, that T&T are going to be a ton of fun. From what I saw tonight, they too are a fun loving couple. Bottom line, I was laughing and smiling so hard tonight because of the group dynamics. If I were there in person? Boy-oh-boy would there be trouble!
Back to the story of today's moment.
My love felt like a fifth wheel and was quite excited to have me home and dialling in. Me, I was worried I wouldn't have enough energy to share with the excited group of friends.
And then my moment of the day hit me. Once connected EQ walked me around the room to show me where everyone was sitting, I found myself excited by their chatter, banter and side conversations. There were quips and digs, and even a random hug in the background. It was perfect. The light and love that came pouring through from SUR, SILIS, T&T and EQ filled me with a third wind.
As we settled down, the first thing they had me do was pour myself a drink and then share with them what I was thankful for.
(Nothing like being put on the spot!)
But honestly, that's easy for me. I'm ever grateful for the family I have. Not only my blood family (but I am very fortunate to have the blood family I do), but I'm also grateful for those family members born of friends pulled into my deepest inner circles. I know I am lucky to have such a strong support system around me. Most of all, I am fortunate to have ever found EQ. How in the universe did we manage to find one another? He's rocked my world and I will never be the same now that I've had him in my life.
And in the end, I stayed online with them for over an hour. We shared stories of love and engagement. Stories of silly rumours and how two very strong, independent women became fast friends in spite of the rumours. I watched as they poured more drinks and continued with the banter. And, in the end when I hit my wall of exhaustion and I couldn't simply holdout any longer they were all very warm with their goodbyes and sharing that they were looking forward to my arrival in SoCal next month.
Yes. My heart was warm from tonight's Skype with new friends in SoCal. Great idea EQ.
As I reflect now upon the evening and in the vein of giving thanks, I can't help but circle back to how fortunate I am to have an amazing man like EQ in my life and for him to have introduced me into a new circle of friends. They are amazing people.
Moments pushing past the exhaustion.
Moments pausing to give thanks and enjoying the ample light and love flowing from holiday celebrations.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Moments D583: Making lists, checking them twice and cleaning it up
As I near the next chapter in my my new novel, I find myself making lists of lists to make sure I don't forget anything. Ever since the big shift in June, I haven't really been paying close attention to the details, I haven't really had to. But now, as things become ever more deep, it's time to really clean things up and prepare for this next chapter. Why? Because it's a big important chapter and much is changing.
Today I took some time to dig a little deeper into a post separation finances. Check. All cleaned up and ready to talk to my CFP about better diversification now that I have all the information sorted out.
Today I took some time to set up a checklist for my coming trip. You know. What do I need to pack. What do I need to wash. Which hat. Do I need sunscreen? Should I bring my tablet or just my laptop. Do I have enough supplements? It's a simple way of getting the chorus of things out of my head so I can better focus on the other lists that are more pressing in the short term.
Like making sure I have detailed out information for my kitty sitters. Oh. Right. Not so short term.
Okay, how about my checklist for Christmas gifts for my immediate family as I won't be spending Christmas at home with them. No? Still not short term enough?
Well fine then! How about a checklist of what to buy for my girls night in this coming weekend and a checklist of small things that I need to get done before they all show up? Yes, that's definitely more short term.
Today I also made a checklist of thoughts and ideas that needed to be shared with a friend of mine. It was one of the most challenging lists I've made in a long time because, sadly, it was filled with points of grief, frustration and disappointment. Yes, that's definitely a list that was long over due.
But at the end of the day, I feel more organized. I feel a little less burdened by the weight of things bearing down on me because I have sorted through it and know that piece by piece, bit by bit, I will check things off my lists.
And before you know it I'll be enjoying a cocktail on a cruise ship looking back smiling at all that I managed to get done in short order.
Oooooh how I love lists. Strange, perhaps. But, there's no denying their effectiveness!
Moments pausing to sort through the hum in my head.
Moments knowing that the future is mine to mould.
Today I took some time to dig a little deeper into a post separation finances. Check. All cleaned up and ready to talk to my CFP about better diversification now that I have all the information sorted out.
Today I took some time to set up a checklist for my coming trip. You know. What do I need to pack. What do I need to wash. Which hat. Do I need sunscreen? Should I bring my tablet or just my laptop. Do I have enough supplements? It's a simple way of getting the chorus of things out of my head so I can better focus on the other lists that are more pressing in the short term.
Like making sure I have detailed out information for my kitty sitters. Oh. Right. Not so short term.
Okay, how about my checklist for Christmas gifts for my immediate family as I won't be spending Christmas at home with them. No? Still not short term enough?
Well fine then! How about a checklist of what to buy for my girls night in this coming weekend and a checklist of small things that I need to get done before they all show up? Yes, that's definitely more short term.
Today I also made a checklist of thoughts and ideas that needed to be shared with a friend of mine. It was one of the most challenging lists I've made in a long time because, sadly, it was filled with points of grief, frustration and disappointment. Yes, that's definitely a list that was long over due.
But at the end of the day, I feel more organized. I feel a little less burdened by the weight of things bearing down on me because I have sorted through it and know that piece by piece, bit by bit, I will check things off my lists.
And before you know it I'll be enjoying a cocktail on a cruise ship looking back smiling at all that I managed to get done in short order.
Oooooh how I love lists. Strange, perhaps. But, there's no denying their effectiveness!
Moments pausing to sort through the hum in my head.
Moments knowing that the future is mine to mould.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Moments D582: Whispering Ghosts
We all have a past and stories that have shaped our present and make us who we are today. Some of those experiences are beautiful, joyful moments. Some are nothing short of horrific. Everyone has ghosts.
Sometimes the ghosts become our guardians. Those ghosts give us a sense of self, a sense of security and bring a smile to our faces. On the other hand, there are also ghosts that haunt us. Ghosts that whisper to us and convince us (sometimes without being aware) to act in ways that we later question our own behaviours and who we really are.
Today my "big sister" shared with me how she finally looked her whispering ghost in the eye and told it that she was going to fight back. Over 18 years of trying to ignore the ghost haunting her and how its whispers affect her perspectives on parts of her life, she is now ready to work on ridding herself of the constant taunting.
She shared with me how this past weekend shared the story with her children. I know only too well how hard it was for her to share this part of her past. An unpleasant part of her past that bore this particular ghost. I couldn't be more proud of her as she walked me through her story from the weekend.
Admitting that you have a whispering ghost taunting you is really only the first step. I know that there will be many a challenging day ahead for my big sis as she faces her daemon head on. It will be a challenge, but she is not alone in her battle. Awareness brings her solidarity. She is surrounded by the love of her family.
Moments hearing a story that warms your soul because you know just how big a step forward was taken.
Moments surrounding those you love with bright positive energy so that they can fight against their whispering ghosts.
Sometimes the ghosts become our guardians. Those ghosts give us a sense of self, a sense of security and bring a smile to our faces. On the other hand, there are also ghosts that haunt us. Ghosts that whisper to us and convince us (sometimes without being aware) to act in ways that we later question our own behaviours and who we really are.
Today my "big sister" shared with me how she finally looked her whispering ghost in the eye and told it that she was going to fight back. Over 18 years of trying to ignore the ghost haunting her and how its whispers affect her perspectives on parts of her life, she is now ready to work on ridding herself of the constant taunting.
She shared with me how this past weekend shared the story with her children. I know only too well how hard it was for her to share this part of her past. An unpleasant part of her past that bore this particular ghost. I couldn't be more proud of her as she walked me through her story from the weekend.
Admitting that you have a whispering ghost taunting you is really only the first step. I know that there will be many a challenging day ahead for my big sis as she faces her daemon head on. It will be a challenge, but she is not alone in her battle. Awareness brings her solidarity. She is surrounded by the love of her family.
Moments hearing a story that warms your soul because you know just how big a step forward was taken.
Moments surrounding those you love with bright positive energy so that they can fight against their whispering ghosts.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Moments D581: Fighting to grow
In life there are people I consider fighters. My definition of fighter does not include the type of angry person looking to pick a physical fight, nor the person who likes to be contrary or enjoys bullying others just to be argumentative. No....those sorts are just insecure persons unsure of how to better themselves. No, the type of person that I like to label a fighter is someone who pushes themselves beyond their own boundaries. I respect that, for it's not easy to get outside of one's comfort zone. It's not easy to fight against the rhythm of others and find your own beat.
But those that do, those that find their own beat to walk to, those that question and ponder and find their own path, those are the fighters that I admire. Today, I celebrate a moment spent with such a woman.
Some back story: A couple of years ago, she was my next door neighbour. We shared the front yard of a duplex and frankly, when I first moved in beside her our relationship was tenuous. As time passed and we interacted more, our mutual unease lifted and a friendship was formed.
Tonight was the second time that I've visited her since my ex and I sold the house. It's a joy to see how she has become great friends with the new owner of my old house. Every time I've seen her, she thanks me for choosing her over the "other guy" when we were selling the house. My ex-neighbour asked her new neighbour to join us for a spell. So she did and shared a glass of wine with us.
And you know what? I liked her. A lot. She's lovely. She loves the house and the neighbourhood. What more could I have asked for as a proud ex-home owner? After all, I remember the last moment I had in my old home - I begged the powers that be to have someone buy the house that loved it. I can see that she loves my old home. And yet, I felt a twinge when she offered to have me walk through my old home. No, I'm not quite ready to see the changes she has made to it. Not yet.
But I digress.
Today's moment is not about the new owner of my old home, but of my ex-neighbour come friend. She's fought through a double mastectomy last year, only to deal with chemotherapy and radiation. Post treatment she's had kidney complications and found herself having to deal with yet another operation to deal with that. It's been nearly 1.5 years of hospital visits and processing through her cancer and yet, she's as positive and light hearted as ever. As I ponder it, perhaps even more so than she's been in the past.
She is a woman filled with life. Filled with a passion to grow beyond who she was yesterday. Perhaps a brush with death will offer that perspective, but on some level she's always had this light in her. She is an inspiration.
And my evening with her tonight only reminded me of the good, grounded souls that are out there. The fighters. Those working hard to make this world and themselves a better place.
Moments celebrating a ex-neighbour now friend.
Moments understanding that there are good fighters out there in the world.
But those that do, those that find their own beat to walk to, those that question and ponder and find their own path, those are the fighters that I admire. Today, I celebrate a moment spent with such a woman.
Some back story: A couple of years ago, she was my next door neighbour. We shared the front yard of a duplex and frankly, when I first moved in beside her our relationship was tenuous. As time passed and we interacted more, our mutual unease lifted and a friendship was formed.
Tonight was the second time that I've visited her since my ex and I sold the house. It's a joy to see how she has become great friends with the new owner of my old house. Every time I've seen her, she thanks me for choosing her over the "other guy" when we were selling the house. My ex-neighbour asked her new neighbour to join us for a spell. So she did and shared a glass of wine with us.
And you know what? I liked her. A lot. She's lovely. She loves the house and the neighbourhood. What more could I have asked for as a proud ex-home owner? After all, I remember the last moment I had in my old home - I begged the powers that be to have someone buy the house that loved it. I can see that she loves my old home. And yet, I felt a twinge when she offered to have me walk through my old home. No, I'm not quite ready to see the changes she has made to it. Not yet.
But I digress.
Today's moment is not about the new owner of my old home, but of my ex-neighbour come friend. She's fought through a double mastectomy last year, only to deal with chemotherapy and radiation. Post treatment she's had kidney complications and found herself having to deal with yet another operation to deal with that. It's been nearly 1.5 years of hospital visits and processing through her cancer and yet, she's as positive and light hearted as ever. As I ponder it, perhaps even more so than she's been in the past.
She is a woman filled with life. Filled with a passion to grow beyond who she was yesterday. Perhaps a brush with death will offer that perspective, but on some level she's always had this light in her. She is an inspiration.
And my evening with her tonight only reminded me of the good, grounded souls that are out there. The fighters. Those working hard to make this world and themselves a better place.
Moments celebrating a ex-neighbour now friend.
Moments understanding that there are good fighters out there in the world.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Moments D580: Counsellor
Today I had my (16th!) annual Christmas dinner with two of my dearest friends. What an interesting evening it ended up being. None of us were really in the Christmas spirit, after all, it's early even if there is snow on the ground. I arrived to a shot of Screech and to the host setting up a roaring fire in the family room. What an incredible Christmas-like start to our evening.
But, soon after our conversation shifted from our catch-up pleasantries into what felt like a counselling session. I found myself in this world of sharing insights and ideas with my two dear friends each who felt a little uncertain with their perspective. At first, I felt like I was in over my head, but slowly, somehow, the pieces fell into place and I could not only hear each side of the story, but I could see where the disconnect between the pieces were and we united to seam it all back together again.
Before I knew it we were in the thick of deep conversation digging ever deeper to find solutions. Certainly not very Christmas-like! That said, I loved every moment of being the middle man for them and offering what I could for a different perspective on the situation at hand. I think I might even have been helpful too. Time will tell I suppose.
In the end, our annual Christmas evening together wasn't typical, but it sure was a beautiful none-the-less as we tried to solve the world's problems together. An intimate, emotional, give and take. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect evening.
Moments solving problems together with friends.
Moments expecting to be full of frivolity, instead filled with deep meaning.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Moments D579: Swirling Snows
Mother nature decided today was going to be a blustery winter day.
I LOVED IT!
I know, it's odd. Most people complain about the cold and the snow and the icy road conditions.
Me? I LOVE IT. I love the shift in temperatures, the crispness in the air, and wearing layers to stay warm.
So today, I celebrated the onset of an early winter.
HELLO SNOW!
HELLO WINTER!
I LOVED IT!
I know, it's odd. Most people complain about the cold and the snow and the icy road conditions.
Me? I LOVE IT. I love the shift in temperatures, the crispness in the air, and wearing layers to stay warm.
So today, I celebrated the onset of an early winter.
HELLO SNOW!
HELLO WINTER!
Moments appreciating the change in season.
Moments enjoying the beauty of snow.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Moments D578: Well Laid Plans
There are moments in my life that I can distinctly recall having a gut feeling that one thing or another was going to happen. Call it intuition, instinct or even pure luck. Wherever this gut feeling comes from, today was one of those days where "that feeling" snapped into place with perfect clarity.
Over the past few months I've had this feeling that there was going to be a significant shift in one of my relationships. I think in this case, it's instinct, knowing what I know of this person and how they interact with the world around them. Given the opportunity to follow a challenged path offering growth or a path of least resistance offering security and safety, the latter is nearly always chosen.
In our case, I was ever hopeful of a different outcome. I am, after all, an eternal optimist. That said, I must admit that I have over the years been peppered with more realism than ever before, thanks, in part, to my friends constantly reminding me that I give too much without expecting more in return. So, even though I suspected that this was the path for this relationship long ago, I was holding out hope that, in our case, a path of growth would be the choice.
And yet, today, as I face the inevitable, I realize with a strange sense of calm and understanding that it is what it is. Don't get me wrong, I have tried to bridge the divide and change the course that we find ourselves upon, (it's my nature to do so!) but my attempts haven't been welcomed. No, I'm not resigned to the choice, I openly accept the choice made. In the end, like even the most well laid plans, I am reminded that one must be flexible and accept the signs of those plans morphing. There is a lesson here and I'm not going to miss it.
I can't control the direction my friend chooses for our relationship. I can, however, control mine. Today, I made a decision to invest the time I spend chasing this relationship back into me and those in my circle that appreciate me in their world. It was a moment of clarity for me. A moment of self-respect. A moment recognizing that my good nature can (and has at times) been taken for granted. A moment where my willingness to share my light and love when it's not being respected and/or reflected is no longer an option in my world.
Even the best laid plans can crumble and fall completely apart, but instead of continuing to grieve the breakdown, I am see the broken plan as an opportunity to rebuild. And as I continue rebuild my life plans, there is no place for me to be taken for granted. It is really that simple.
Moments finding a deeper self-respect.
Moments understanding it's okay to let go.
Over the past few months I've had this feeling that there was going to be a significant shift in one of my relationships. I think in this case, it's instinct, knowing what I know of this person and how they interact with the world around them. Given the opportunity to follow a challenged path offering growth or a path of least resistance offering security and safety, the latter is nearly always chosen.
In our case, I was ever hopeful of a different outcome. I am, after all, an eternal optimist. That said, I must admit that I have over the years been peppered with more realism than ever before, thanks, in part, to my friends constantly reminding me that I give too much without expecting more in return. So, even though I suspected that this was the path for this relationship long ago, I was holding out hope that, in our case, a path of growth would be the choice.
And yet, today, as I face the inevitable, I realize with a strange sense of calm and understanding that it is what it is. Don't get me wrong, I have tried to bridge the divide and change the course that we find ourselves upon, (it's my nature to do so!) but my attempts haven't been welcomed. No, I'm not resigned to the choice, I openly accept the choice made. In the end, like even the most well laid plans, I am reminded that one must be flexible and accept the signs of those plans morphing. There is a lesson here and I'm not going to miss it.
I can't control the direction my friend chooses for our relationship. I can, however, control mine. Today, I made a decision to invest the time I spend chasing this relationship back into me and those in my circle that appreciate me in their world. It was a moment of clarity for me. A moment of self-respect. A moment recognizing that my good nature can (and has at times) been taken for granted. A moment where my willingness to share my light and love when it's not being respected and/or reflected is no longer an option in my world.
Even the best laid plans can crumble and fall completely apart, but instead of continuing to grieve the breakdown, I am see the broken plan as an opportunity to rebuild. And as I continue rebuild my life plans, there is no place for me to be taken for granted. It is really that simple.
Moments finding a deeper self-respect.
Moments understanding it's okay to let go.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Moments D577: A daughter's letters to her Father
Today my friend posted one of the most heart warming and heart wrenching posts to Facebook I think I've ever seen. Her father passed away on Monday and the family has begun to clean up his belongings, they came across something that was incredibly touching.
I was so very touched by her sharing this moment in her life. I immediately thought of the notes and poems I have written my own father over the years. I couldn't help but share the posting out loud with those in earshot of my office. The flood of emotion from each person listening was incredible.
This is what her mother found:
It is a letter my friend had written to her dad when she was 11. It was found in her father's night stand. He had saved it there, close to him and obviously treasured, for over 30 years.
I was so very touched by her sharing this moment in her life. I immediately thought of the notes and poems I have written my own father over the years. I couldn't help but share the posting out loud with those in earshot of my office. The flood of emotion from each person listening was incredible.
Our AD shared that he too has saved all of his daughter's cards and notes. After a lengthy pause of reflection, he continued to share that he sometimes thought he was being silly saving these pieces, but now, having heard my friends story, he's decided to keep on saving these special moments from his daughter.
One man's death has touched many (as witnessed by the busy wake last night). Today, he's touched a few more well outside his circle. And, in the end, he's likely inspired a moment to be felt and shared many years from now when our AD's daughter finds, and realizes, just how much her words were treasured by her father.
Moments sharing intimate, emotional thoughts.
Moments knowing that share has inspired another intimate emotional moment.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Moments D576: A wake
A dear friend's father passed away on Monday. While he had been sick for some time, his death wasn't expected so soon. Regardless of the circumstance, death is never easy for those left behind.
Tonight EQ and I attended the first evening of the family's wake. I'm always nervous at such gatherings, especially when I don't know the extended family. But I'm also a firm believer in sharing my love and light in dark moments like this. My fears and needs are insignificant in comparison. It's my job as a friend (or family member) to bring extra energy to those in need at times like this.
Fortunately as we entered the room my friend and her husband were easily found. We immediately made our way to them and shared our condolences. This, regrettably, was the first meeting between my friends and EQ. Unfortunate circumstances, but sometimes life throws curve balls at you.
They were surprised to see us and after our exchange of words of sympathy and hugs, I, in turn, was surprised given that we were in a funeral home at my friend's father wake.
My girlfriend stepped back and then gave EQ a thorough one-over. With a raised eyebrow and a twinkle of mischief she commented on his "adorable dimple". I followed along and asked which one was out? The evil one or the good one? And she laughed.
She laughed.
She continued her inspection and then noted EQ's cleft chin. She proceeded to call him adorable again and that he "was too much to take in all at once." All the while a laugh in her voice. And then she let out a big hearty laugh.
A moment of brightness in a very dark time. Beautiful. Simple.
Moments consoling a friend, worth every ounce of nervousness.
Moments of shared pain, peppered with healing laughter.
Tonight EQ and I attended the first evening of the family's wake. I'm always nervous at such gatherings, especially when I don't know the extended family. But I'm also a firm believer in sharing my love and light in dark moments like this. My fears and needs are insignificant in comparison. It's my job as a friend (or family member) to bring extra energy to those in need at times like this.
Fortunately as we entered the room my friend and her husband were easily found. We immediately made our way to them and shared our condolences. This, regrettably, was the first meeting between my friends and EQ. Unfortunate circumstances, but sometimes life throws curve balls at you.
They were surprised to see us and after our exchange of words of sympathy and hugs, I, in turn, was surprised given that we were in a funeral home at my friend's father wake.
My girlfriend stepped back and then gave EQ a thorough one-over. With a raised eyebrow and a twinkle of mischief she commented on his "adorable dimple". I followed along and asked which one was out? The evil one or the good one? And she laughed.
She laughed.
She continued her inspection and then noted EQ's cleft chin. She proceeded to call him adorable again and that he "was too much to take in all at once." All the while a laugh in her voice. And then she let out a big hearty laugh.
A moment of brightness in a very dark time. Beautiful. Simple.
Moments consoling a friend, worth every ounce of nervousness.
Moments of shared pain, peppered with healing laughter.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Moments D575: Food Surprises
Tonight I had a hankering for Indian food and while I had a good chat with my ND about the best Indian restaurant in the area to order from, I actually ended up making dinner tonight.
Okay, that's not entirely true. I had some butter chicken with chickpeas that I made up awhile ago and froze the leftovers. After thawing the main course out, I propped it up a bit by adding more sauce and some paneer to the mix and let it come to a simmer as I made some raita and kachumber as sides. EQ watched the basmati rice and by the time I was done making the sides we were ready for dinner.
And I was drooling! Seriously. Perhaps that's TMI, but I was hungry and I was about to enjoy a meal that I knew I'd love.
EQ, on the other hand was feeling tentative about the meal. I had no idea.
Just after digging in, I asked EQ how the meal was. (Every chef wants to know if their offerings were enjoyable!) His answer surprised me. "It's good. Much better than I expected."
Huh?
So I dug into that a bit. Seems EQ was pretty certain that he wasn't going to enjoy my butter chicken, that it would be okay, but not something enjoyable. I felt badly! I was so excited at the prospect of this meal that I hadn't stop to think that maybe it was something that would be outside EQ's comfort zone. After all, I know he's had curries before!
And then the strangest thing happened. EQ wanted seconds. He rarely does seconds. Bangarang!
Now that was an awesome moment.
Moments sharing my love of food with the one I love.
Moments where they joyfully connect.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Moments D574: Teacups and Poppies
Today on my drive into work I saw a very tall, thickly built man walking in the opposite direction. Not really anything interesting, afterall, it's rush hour and people are heading to work.
But, as I watched, a flash of white caught my attention. I watched as he delicately sipped from a blue floral, intricate china tea cup. You know the kind, the ones with fancy handles and metallic rims. How very strange to see, but it made me stop and smile.
And then, I watched him climb into a big 'ol white pickup truck that had a big, bright, red poppy attached to its grill. So awesome! That's one cool, I-know-who-I-am-and-what-I-like kind of person. I chuckled at that visual and I loved sharing that moment with him.
It was a great start to my day!
Moments being caught by surprise by complete strangers.
Moments appreciating someone else's morning ritual.
But, as I watched, a flash of white caught my attention. I watched as he delicately sipped from a blue floral, intricate china tea cup. You know the kind, the ones with fancy handles and metallic rims. How very strange to see, but it made me stop and smile.
And then, I watched him climb into a big 'ol white pickup truck that had a big, bright, red poppy attached to its grill. So awesome! That's one cool, I-know-who-I-am-and-what-I-like kind of person. I chuckled at that visual and I loved sharing that moment with him.
It was a great start to my day!
Moments being caught by surprise by complete strangers.
Moments appreciating someone else's morning ritual.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Moments D573: Family laughter
Today EQ & I met my Mom & Dad in Burlington (half way from their house to our house) for lunch. Why on earth did we do that? Well, it was important to my Mom & Dad to have some time with EQ before he heads back to SoCal. Yes. He's had some impact on my circles. That's what happens when you have an amazing man enter your world. Your amazing world shifts and envelopes him with their love and light too.
But I digress from today's moment. My moment today happened as we were finishing up our lunch.
As a child, my family used to sit together for dinner well until I was in my mid/late teens. It wasn't simply a tradition of sitting and eating, no, dinner was always a place of conversation, shared stories and, often, a lot of laughter. So much laughter that there were nights that we left the dinner table with full bellies that hurt from all the laughter.
Not 20 minutes after sharing that family memory with EQ, did we have a reenactment of said experience.
My Dad, the jokester he is, dropped a blur of words on my Mom that had us all a wee shocked, which was followed quickly by deep, rolling, belly laughter. It didn't take long before my Mom, bright red, was wiping the laughter tears from her eyes and each of us struggled to swallow the galloping laughter. There were pauses of laughter, but all it took was one small look from one to another at the table to engulf the entire table in laughter again. We laughed so hard and for so long that our faces and stomachs hurt!
And, as we are known to do, we were not quiet about it. Not even in the very busy restaurant!
So much so, that our server, whom we had already paid, dropped by to make sure we were all okay. Of course, this only caused another round of laughter between us all.
No there was nothing "funny" in the water. We're just silly people enjoying what we can out of life.
Why not right? Life is too short.
Moments being silly.
Moments inflamed with belly-aching laughter that follows you for the rest of the day.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Moments D572: Parking Ticket
Why on earth would I list a parking ticket as a moment that made me smile?
Well, it's a good tale.
Tonight EQ & I met up with Archie & Comic Guy at Arizona's place for dinner. She had a dinner party to spend some time with EQ before he heads back to SoCal. Arizona had her best friend join us, so we were a table of six enjoying a delightfully home cooked meal. We spent the entire evening swapping stories followed by much laughter. It was, truly, a perfect evening.
Those of us who drove were somewhat concerned at getting a parking ticket. (After midnight, in most areas of the city, parking on the streets requires a permit.). We thought we would play it safe and said our goodbyes around 12:15 am. When we walked up to the car, it was plain as day that a ticket had already been issued. {sigh} The ticket, for $30, was issued at 12:08 am.
For the briefest of moments I paused and a thought flickered. EQ & I would have easily spent more than $30 going out for the tasty dinner that we enjoyed tonight. The fact that we were able to enjoy the home cooked, love infused food prepared by Arizona at the cost of a $30 ticket seemed highly under valued.
And so, I smiled as I pulled the ticket from under my windshield wiper. A good deal after all.
Crazy? Ya maybe. But life's too short.
Moments flipping perceptions around.
Moments finding the silver lining.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Moments D571: Rose Petals
Tonight I arrived home from work to a trail of rose petals and candles.
Yes. Really. As I walked up the stairs, I followed the petals to the top of the stairs. At the very top was this single beautiful rose. Wow. I found myself surprised and intrigued.
I opened the door and found the trail continued inside. Following the petals and the candles I found myself in the bedroom where a massage awaited me to melt away the stress of the past week.
Wow. What a surprise at the energy invested to make it happen.. With all the tender love and romance in the air, I was filled with joy. It was a moment unlike any other I've ever had before.
Moments of surprise.
Moments filled with love.
Wow. What a surprise at the energy invested to make it happen.. With all the tender love and romance in the air, I was filled with joy. It was a moment unlike any other I've ever had before.
Moments of surprise.
Moments filled with love.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Moments D570: Thai Milk Ice Tea
Today's moment comes from a silly moment at dinner.
Tonight EQ and I had dinner with two of his friends at a Thai restaurant near Ryerson University called Sabi Sabi. While I've never been there before, it came highly recommended by our surprise guest. After enjoying some delightful Thai tapas there, we shouldn't be surprised at how busy they were so early on a Thursday night. (Next time we'll know to make a reservation!)
But today's moment stumbled onto me. It was when we first sat at our table. I ordered a Thai milk iced tea right off the top. EQ has never had one, so his friend explained what they were. When my iced tea arrived, our friend ordered one. EQ tried mine. When our friend's iced tea arrived, EQ ordered one for himself.
The poor server. I'm sure she thought we were a little nuts. It was fun to see the spreading confusion on her face as we ordered each drink individually.
What a fun, silly moment. I love those.
Moments being unorganized.
Moments leading to a smile all around.
p.s. The food and atmosphere of the restaurant was great. Given that it's so close to where I'll be taking classes again come January, I'm sure I'll be revisiting them again!
Tonight EQ and I had dinner with two of his friends at a Thai restaurant near Ryerson University called Sabi Sabi. While I've never been there before, it came highly recommended by our surprise guest. After enjoying some delightful Thai tapas there, we shouldn't be surprised at how busy they were so early on a Thursday night. (Next time we'll know to make a reservation!)
But today's moment stumbled onto me. It was when we first sat at our table. I ordered a Thai milk iced tea right off the top. EQ has never had one, so his friend explained what they were. When my iced tea arrived, our friend ordered one. EQ tried mine. When our friend's iced tea arrived, EQ ordered one for himself.
The poor server. I'm sure she thought we were a little nuts. It was fun to see the spreading confusion on her face as we ordered each drink individually.
What a fun, silly moment. I love those.
Moments being unorganized.
Moments leading to a smile all around.
p.s. The food and atmosphere of the restaurant was great. Given that it's so close to where I'll be taking classes again come January, I'm sure I'll be revisiting them again!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Moments D569: Taco Wednesday & Life
Tonight I missed out on a work event so I could spend the evening with my niece and EQ. It was the first time my niece was able to meet EQ. We've rescheduled this dinner twice already from "Taco Tuesday" to this Wednesday. Unfortunately my girl, newly in university, has been busy with her schooling (I can relate and don't really miss that!), so while Taco Wednesday doesn't have as nice a ring, it was a most amazing evening and well worth missing a well received work event.
Honestly, who knew that Taco Wednesday could reveal so much about life lessons!
As the three of us sat at the dinner table, the subject of life (as big as that is) was tabled. Deep discussions ensued and I believe that for each of us we had a moment of revelation. We each shared a story that was deep and fraught with emotions (fears, disappointments and most importantly hope).
After dinner, with EQ & my niece deep in discussion, I made myself a little scarce and busied myself by cleaning up dinner. The two of them comfortably lingered at the dining room table, while I enjoyed being the proverbial fly on the wall. It made me very happy to listen in on their conversation and to realize that they were enjoying one another.
The best moment of the evening was while I was driving my niece home. Not five minutes in the car and she was telling me how much she liked EQ. How she enjoyed her conversation with him and how he made her think about things. She commented on how much fun he& I must have discussing things as he's very supportive and yet, at the same time, offers up other perspectives on things. She chatted for some time about how she enjoyed the conversation.
I kinda loved that.
Moments with family exploring life.
Moments seeing your niece as a beautiful, vibrant, strong young woman.
Honestly, who knew that Taco Wednesday could reveal so much about life lessons!
As the three of us sat at the dinner table, the subject of life (as big as that is) was tabled. Deep discussions ensued and I believe that for each of us we had a moment of revelation. We each shared a story that was deep and fraught with emotions (fears, disappointments and most importantly hope).
After dinner, with EQ & my niece deep in discussion, I made myself a little scarce and busied myself by cleaning up dinner. The two of them comfortably lingered at the dining room table, while I enjoyed being the proverbial fly on the wall. It made me very happy to listen in on their conversation and to realize that they were enjoying one another.
The best moment of the evening was while I was driving my niece home. Not five minutes in the car and she was telling me how much she liked EQ. How she enjoyed her conversation with him and how he made her think about things. She commented on how much fun he& I must have discussing things as he's very supportive and yet, at the same time, offers up other perspectives on things. She chatted for some time about how she enjoyed the conversation.
I kinda loved that.
Moments with family exploring life.
Moments seeing your niece as a beautiful, vibrant, strong young woman.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Moments D568: More Poppies
Today I decided to wear my poppy into work again. As I pinned it on me this morning, I wondered why we didn't take more time to remember those who perished for us, for those that continue to fight in our name. As I wake from a warm, dry bed, I wonder how those serving today aren't likely as fortunate. As I look to my day ahead, drudging through the daily mundane task list, I think of them drudging through their days fighting for peace and freedom.
And so, today, I decided that November (yes the entire month) was going to be a month of remembering our protectors.
As a side bar, because I'm feeling a touch philosophical: Do I wish we could abolish war? Yes, of course! Unfortunately I'm not so naive. I think we would all like to believe we can be humanitarian, share, and love one another in one big community watching out for one another. If only life were that simple. Simple it is not.
We live in a society that thrives on power and ownership. A world where there are many different beliefs in how to achieve either, or, or both. Naturally there is a clash of beliefs, a clash of wants, and sometimes an actual clash of needs. I've seen enough apocalyptic and zombie movies to know that when push comes to shove, when someone comes to steal your way of life, you need to protect it. Think about it. What are your choices? Give it away (and perish) or protect it (fight to keep it). When someone is in dire need of something (and sometimes people are foolish enough to believe that their wants are needs), they will not stop until they either get what they want, or they are stopped. Dark? I suppose. I think it's just reality.
All that being said, do I think we can slowly find better ways of sharing than the world we currently live in? To ease those extreme moments of clashing? You better believe I do. Everyday I chip away at that. Everyday I try to find a special moment with people in my life to share with them. Family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances. I share. I share my bizarre ideas of spreading light and positive energy. I have (and will continue) to share my knowledge, my love, my patience, my food, my shelter, hell, my finances with many. I will, at least I hope I will, always continue to do so because I believe that in sharing, we create a society of trust and love.
But I have learned, especially over the past year, that not all are deserving of trust and love. Sometimes people will take advantage of you. Sometimes they are malicious about it, in their search for power or ownership, sometimes it comes naturally and subconsciously. Either way, no matter what the intent, the process is the same: they manipulate and take advantage of you for their own benefit. This conniving, it's like someone trying to steal something you need away from you. I am stronger now, and I recognize the manipulation more easily and I now choose to stand and protect myself from those people instead of being plundered.
Wow. What a long winded way of me saying: I think today, more than ever I can extrapolate from my experiences and see the reasoning behind armies and war.
So today, I wore my poppy into work again.
Not five minutes after I was sitting at my desk and Arizona asked me why I was still wearing my poppy. I told her that I was going to remember our protectors all November. She smiled, clapped her hands and told me she was going to wear her poppy into work tomorrow as well.
New tradition started? Maybe. Either way, that moment made me smile.
Moments pushing the limits and connecting dots.
Moments inspiring others.
And so, today, I decided that November (yes the entire month) was going to be a month of remembering our protectors.
As a side bar, because I'm feeling a touch philosophical: Do I wish we could abolish war? Yes, of course! Unfortunately I'm not so naive. I think we would all like to believe we can be humanitarian, share, and love one another in one big community watching out for one another. If only life were that simple. Simple it is not.
We live in a society that thrives on power and ownership. A world where there are many different beliefs in how to achieve either, or, or both. Naturally there is a clash of beliefs, a clash of wants, and sometimes an actual clash of needs. I've seen enough apocalyptic and zombie movies to know that when push comes to shove, when someone comes to steal your way of life, you need to protect it. Think about it. What are your choices? Give it away (and perish) or protect it (fight to keep it). When someone is in dire need of something (and sometimes people are foolish enough to believe that their wants are needs), they will not stop until they either get what they want, or they are stopped. Dark? I suppose. I think it's just reality.
But I have learned, especially over the past year, that not all are deserving of trust and love. Sometimes people will take advantage of you. Sometimes they are malicious about it, in their search for power or ownership, sometimes it comes naturally and subconsciously. Either way, no matter what the intent, the process is the same: they manipulate and take advantage of you for their own benefit. This conniving, it's like someone trying to steal something you need away from you. I am stronger now, and I recognize the manipulation more easily and I now choose to stand and protect myself from those people instead of being plundered.
Wow. What a long winded way of me saying: I think today, more than ever I can extrapolate from my experiences and see the reasoning behind armies and war.
So today, I wore my poppy into work again.
Not five minutes after I was sitting at my desk and Arizona asked me why I was still wearing my poppy. I told her that I was going to remember our protectors all November. She smiled, clapped her hands and told me she was going to wear her poppy into work tomorrow as well.
New tradition started? Maybe. Either way, that moment made me smile.
Moments pushing the limits and connecting dots.
Moments inspiring others.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Moments D567: Honour Remembrance Day
Today is Remembrance Day. I recently found out that this is a holiday that is mostly celebrated by the commonwealth countries since the end of World War I. In the US, today is actually Veteran's Day, which is not the same as Memorial Day. (From what I understand, in the US Veteran's Day celebrates the services of US military veterans, whereas Memorial Day remembers those who have died serving their country. Here in Canada, we celebrate it all in one, today. Remembrance Day has always been on my radar as far as I can remember, after all my grandfather was in the Canadian army and served in World War II. In fact, thinking back now, I remember that I wrote a poem for Remembrance Day back in grade school that won some type of award. I wonder where that poem is now, or if I'll ever re-read those words. Perhaps one day, I'll stumble across my words as an eleven year old so that I might share them.
Back to point. Today's moment is all about remembering. Our department took two minutes of silence at 11:11 am to pause and gift thanks. I was proud to see so many blood red poppies over the hearts of many around me. However, the most touching moment, hands down, was when I ran into Mr. B on his daily walk over lunch. He was proudly wearing his father's military beret. It stopped me dead in my tracks. BRILLIANT. What an incredible way to not only remember his father, but to signify gratitude to those who fought for and those who continue to fight and maintain the freedoms we enjoy today.
It was so brilliant, I was at a loss for words when I saw him. It was simply perfect. I'm sure his father was smiling down proudly.
Moments to pause and reflect upon one's fortunes.
Moments being grateful for those who paved the way.
Back to point. Today's moment is all about remembering. Our department took two minutes of silence at 11:11 am to pause and gift thanks. I was proud to see so many blood red poppies over the hearts of many around me. However, the most touching moment, hands down, was when I ran into Mr. B on his daily walk over lunch. He was proudly wearing his father's military beret. It stopped me dead in my tracks. BRILLIANT. What an incredible way to not only remember his father, but to signify gratitude to those who fought for and those who continue to fight and maintain the freedoms we enjoy today.
It was so brilliant, I was at a loss for words when I saw him. It was simply perfect. I'm sure his father was smiling down proudly.
Moments to pause and reflect upon one's fortunes.
Moments being grateful for those who paved the way.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Moments D566: Breakfast in Bed
Today was a full on sick day. I didn't wake up until nearly noon and that's simply unheard of for me. It's official, my cold is in full gear.
The bonus today was that I wasn't alone in my cold misery! After spending a moment to slowly waken my aching bones, I was ready to jump out of bed and start our day. EQ would not even hear of it and he was right there bossing me back to bed!
Shortly after he did, he turned on a movie and went to make me some soup. It's not quite as romantic as breakfast in bed, after all I was feverish, congested and coughing, but soup and a movie in bed was pretty darn sweet today. It made me fall a little more in love with EQ. I found I didn't much mind him being so bossy, after all he wouldn't let me do anything for myself today. Secretly (or not so secretly since I'm sharing here!) it was quite wonderful to be so pampered!
Moments waking with a full blown cold.
Moments being pampered through the misery.
The bonus today was that I wasn't alone in my cold misery! After spending a moment to slowly waken my aching bones, I was ready to jump out of bed and start our day. EQ would not even hear of it and he was right there bossing me back to bed!
Shortly after he did, he turned on a movie and went to make me some soup. It's not quite as romantic as breakfast in bed, after all I was feverish, congested and coughing, but soup and a movie in bed was pretty darn sweet today. It made me fall a little more in love with EQ. I found I didn't much mind him being so bossy, after all he wouldn't let me do anything for myself today. Secretly (or not so secretly since I'm sharing here!) it was quite wonderful to be so pampered!
Moments waking with a full blown cold.
Moments being pampered through the misery.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Moments D565: Southern Love Ice Breaker
Today was a very lazy start to the day, but given my cold it needed to be so that EQ & I could keep our date with Bunny & Bear this evening. Thank goodness for that because it was the first meeting between my love and my friends and what fun we had!
Not everyone knows this, but EQ is actually pretty darn shy. It's interesting because he's quite comfortable teaching in front of a room full of strangers, but one-on-one in a more intimate setting, not so much. I know he was a wee nervous tonight as it was a first date with new friends.
Today's moment happened almost the instant that Bear opened his front door. The first thing that we experienced when we entered their home was the delicious aroma wafting to their front door from the kitchen! Divine! We immediately knew we were going to love the Southern fare that Bear had been preparing all day. Just as quickly as our noses were taunted, we were briskly enveloped into hugs. EQ remarked how all my friends are "huggers" and how much he liked that. The ice was broken!
With a drink swiftly placed in our hands, we sat to chat before digging into dinner. Bear and EQ quickly fell into conversations about work (technology geeks!) and Bunny & I just laughed and smiled at each other knowingly. So much so, that at dinner Bunny & I rearranged our seating so they could sit side-by-side. It was intense! The Southern fare (pulled pork, collard greens, mac & cheese, baked beans, corn bread) was delicious (as expected), but it was the conversation and laughter that I really loved.
It's great to see EQ fitting in so well with my friends. It's also so wonderful to see how well my friends are receiving him into their world. The excitement, the positive energy. It's all so tangible and frankly, pretty incredible.
Of course, I have awesome friends.
AND
Of course, I have an awesome man that I love.
I shouldn't be so surprised that they mix well, should I?
Yes - I'm still learning.
Moments anticipating a meeting.
Moments enjoying tasty Southern food and watching new friendships form.
Not everyone knows this, but EQ is actually pretty darn shy. It's interesting because he's quite comfortable teaching in front of a room full of strangers, but one-on-one in a more intimate setting, not so much. I know he was a wee nervous tonight as it was a first date with new friends.
Today's moment happened almost the instant that Bear opened his front door. The first thing that we experienced when we entered their home was the delicious aroma wafting to their front door from the kitchen! Divine! We immediately knew we were going to love the Southern fare that Bear had been preparing all day. Just as quickly as our noses were taunted, we were briskly enveloped into hugs. EQ remarked how all my friends are "huggers" and how much he liked that. The ice was broken!
With a drink swiftly placed in our hands, we sat to chat before digging into dinner. Bear and EQ quickly fell into conversations about work (technology geeks!) and Bunny & I just laughed and smiled at each other knowingly. So much so, that at dinner Bunny & I rearranged our seating so they could sit side-by-side. It was intense! The Southern fare (pulled pork, collard greens, mac & cheese, baked beans, corn bread) was delicious (as expected), but it was the conversation and laughter that I really loved.
It's great to see EQ fitting in so well with my friends. It's also so wonderful to see how well my friends are receiving him into their world. The excitement, the positive energy. It's all so tangible and frankly, pretty incredible.
Of course, I have awesome friends.
AND
Of course, I have an awesome man that I love.
I shouldn't be so surprised that they mix well, should I?
Yes - I'm still learning.
Moments anticipating a meeting.
Moments enjoying tasty Southern food and watching new friendships form.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Moments D564: Patience
My cold blew up on me a bit last night. I wasn't sure if I'd make it through the day let alone out for dinner with EQ and BFF tonight. The day seemed to be long, but it was very productive regardless of the sluggishness I felt. When the end of the day finally arrived, it was a mini celebration with EQ & BFF!
But today's moment isn't about the incredible chat I had with EQ en route to BFF's house, nor is it the amazing dinner and evening we enjoyed with her. My moment today is celebrating patience, because today it felt like I was constantly digging to find it.
You know the kind of day I'm talking about, right? The kind of day where you are tired, a bit off your game (in my case sluggish because of my cold) and you aren't feeling very talkative. When you combine an emotional/physical state as this with a day filled with drop-in people asking questions and new projects being added to your to-do list, it's a sure combination for disaster. Unless, of course, you dig deep and find some patience.
Today, was one of those days for me. I managed to not only avert disaster, but I didn't give into the malicious voices in my head either. You know the ones. That little voice in the back of your head calling people names for not getting the picture the first (or second, or third) time. The voice shouting out your irritation because you've been interrupted for the tenth time today. It's that voice tempting me to snap at people and not treat them as kindly as I normally do.
While my responses may not have been as effervescent as normal, I was able to dig deep and find the patience to squash that malicious voice. Every time it bubbled close to the surface, I took a breath and found a little more patience.
Breathing and pausing. What a difference it makes.
Moments reflecting on the day and realizing you were pretty successful afterall.
Moments celebrating patience.
But today's moment isn't about the incredible chat I had with EQ en route to BFF's house, nor is it the amazing dinner and evening we enjoyed with her. My moment today is celebrating patience, because today it felt like I was constantly digging to find it.
You know the kind of day I'm talking about, right? The kind of day where you are tired, a bit off your game (in my case sluggish because of my cold) and you aren't feeling very talkative. When you combine an emotional/physical state as this with a day filled with drop-in people asking questions and new projects being added to your to-do list, it's a sure combination for disaster. Unless, of course, you dig deep and find some patience.
Today, was one of those days for me. I managed to not only avert disaster, but I didn't give into the malicious voices in my head either. You know the ones. That little voice in the back of your head calling people names for not getting the picture the first (or second, or third) time. The voice shouting out your irritation because you've been interrupted for the tenth time today. It's that voice tempting me to snap at people and not treat them as kindly as I normally do.
While my responses may not have been as effervescent as normal, I was able to dig deep and find the patience to squash that malicious voice. Every time it bubbled close to the surface, I took a breath and found a little more patience.
Breathing and pausing. What a difference it makes.
Moments reflecting on the day and realizing you were pretty successful afterall.
Moments celebrating patience.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Moments D563: Goodbye Tennis Court Nets
This morning as I left for work, I was marveling at the bright beautiful fall sky. The bright yellow leaves of the trees, twinkling in the morning light were mesmerizing.
As I walked to my car, I saw the city workers. They were busy pulling down the tennis court nets from across the street. Honestly, I'm surprised they haven't taken the nets down sooner, but it has been a warm autumn; many in the neighbourhood have actually enjoying morning tennis matches even just yesterday!
So today, I am reminded that winter is just around the corner. I know many will complain of the coming snow and cold, but I rather love the continuing shift in seasons. I like to bundle up and tromp through the snow.
Moments realizing a shift in seasons is upon us.
Moments looking forward to the snow!
As I walked to my car, I saw the city workers. They were busy pulling down the tennis court nets from across the street. Honestly, I'm surprised they haven't taken the nets down sooner, but it has been a warm autumn; many in the neighbourhood have actually enjoying morning tennis matches even just yesterday!
So today, I am reminded that winter is just around the corner. I know many will complain of the coming snow and cold, but I rather love the continuing shift in seasons. I like to bundle up and tromp through the snow.
Moments realizing a shift in seasons is upon us.
Moments looking forward to the snow!
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Moments D562: No Foy
This evening EQ and I tried our best to get into a very intimate concert with Foy Vance. Today's moment is inspired by this tale.
We were recently introduced to Foy's music by a friend of mine living in the UK and Foy's work has very much touched us, both as individuals and as a couple.
How incredible to find out, only a week ago, that Foy Vance was playing in Toronto while EQ was here. We simply had to get tickets. Of course, the very small venue at The Drake was sold out long ago.
I searched the online scalper sites. I posted wanted ads online. I reached out to my contacts to see if anyone could shake out a couple of tickets for us. Silence. We even had a contact who works at the Drake unable to get extra tickets for us. So, we did what any sane couple in love with the music would do -we went down to The Drake and hoped that someone would be selling tickets at the door.
We decided to have dinner there. Our server was incredible. He laughed when we asked for a "dessert" of tickets for the show. With such a small venue, the hotel and restaurant were not party to tickets. Sadly, we were not so fortunate to find anyone selling as the show inched nearer and we even tried to bribe the guy at the door to let us in. No luck!
BUT - all was not lost. I realized on our drive home from the venue that EQ and I had enjoyed a really delightful (unexpected) dinner at the Drake. I've never eaten there before, so it was a new experience for me too. His company and conversation filled my soul. I also realized that I was more than content to enjoy Foy Vance's album on the drive home and share more love and laughter between just the two of us on the drive back and for the rest of the evening. So, in the end, even though there was no live Foy for us tonight, EQ and I enjoyed the moment we found ourselves in. Sometimes that's all that really matters.
Moments waiting in anticipation for something.
Moments realizing that slipped expectations can turn into other beautiful moments.
We were recently introduced to Foy's music by a friend of mine living in the UK and Foy's work has very much touched us, both as individuals and as a couple.
How incredible to find out, only a week ago, that Foy Vance was playing in Toronto while EQ was here. We simply had to get tickets. Of course, the very small venue at The Drake was sold out long ago.
I searched the online scalper sites. I posted wanted ads online. I reached out to my contacts to see if anyone could shake out a couple of tickets for us. Silence. We even had a contact who works at the Drake unable to get extra tickets for us. So, we did what any sane couple in love with the music would do -we went down to The Drake and hoped that someone would be selling tickets at the door.
We decided to have dinner there. Our server was incredible. He laughed when we asked for a "dessert" of tickets for the show. With such a small venue, the hotel and restaurant were not party to tickets. Sadly, we were not so fortunate to find anyone selling as the show inched nearer and we even tried to bribe the guy at the door to let us in. No luck!
BUT - all was not lost. I realized on our drive home from the venue that EQ and I had enjoyed a really delightful (unexpected) dinner at the Drake. I've never eaten there before, so it was a new experience for me too. His company and conversation filled my soul. I also realized that I was more than content to enjoy Foy Vance's album on the drive home and share more love and laughter between just the two of us on the drive back and for the rest of the evening. So, in the end, even though there was no live Foy for us tonight, EQ and I enjoyed the moment we found ourselves in. Sometimes that's all that really matters.
Moments waiting in anticipation for something.
Moments realizing that slipped expectations can turn into other beautiful moments.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Moments D561: Poppies V2
Today was an interesting day. From first next steps, to an unexpected lunch out, to a sweet surprise just before leaving work. Today's moment comes from that surprise.
Yesterday, while out for dinner with EQ, Comic Guy & Archie, I broke my new artsy, ceramic poppy as it fell off its pin. Just my luck.
This early eve, my love arrived to pick me up at the end of the day. As he waited for me, he pulled out of his pocket something in bubble wrap. Eager to open my surprise, I unwrapped it with a gleam in my eye.
It was a perfect replacement of the one I had broken not 24 hours earlier.
I'm not sure if EQ realizes just how special that gesture was. Now I can continue to enjoy my pretty, artsy, ceramic poppy, version 2.
Moments enjoying a simple gesture that shows much.
Moments enjoying a replacement poppy.
Yesterday, while out for dinner with EQ, Comic Guy & Archie, I broke my new artsy, ceramic poppy as it fell off its pin. Just my luck.
This early eve, my love arrived to pick me up at the end of the day. As he waited for me, he pulled out of his pocket something in bubble wrap. Eager to open my surprise, I unwrapped it with a gleam in my eye.
It was a perfect replacement of the one I had broken not 24 hours earlier.
I'm not sure if EQ realizes just how special that gesture was. Now I can continue to enjoy my pretty, artsy, ceramic poppy, version 2.
Moments enjoying a simple gesture that shows much.
Moments enjoying a replacement poppy.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Moments D560: When to push, when to pull
Today's moment is a reflection of boundaries within relationships. The musing that follows is inspired by the fact that this evening I pushed a boundary of EQ's. It was necessary as we hit a strange impasse. This moment, added to the fact that a few of my close relationships have, in the past couple of months, seriously pushed my boundaries, has me reflecting.
Boundaries. When is it okay to push? When should one give space?
I know. It's a heavy moment today. It's been inspired by odd, head-scratching situations that have cropped up because of serious shifts in energy and by gentle reminders from EQ. And because of a shared crossed boundary tonight with EQ (and a subsequent discussion about it), I find myself thinking about relationship boundaries.
Boundaries. When is it okay to push? When should one give space?
Boundaries. When do you grab on tighter? When is it time to let go?
These are not easy questions to answer. Why? Because each relationship is delicate. Each is important to me as I love my people. In the end, every situation is unique and can, in the long run, affect those delicate relationships. The mere process of analyzing options to dealing with boundaries can be exhausting and, at times, overwhelming.
Often my boundaries are infringed upon, and, for the most part, I allow it, it is my own choice. This process is further complicated by who I am. I am a bringer of light. The people closest to me have cautioned me of these infringements in the past. I have always listened with an open mind and heart, but I believe that we all have the potential to be better loving people given enough time, communication and love. Call me naive, but I do. It can be exhausting if there is no energy returned. Today I am ever more aware of this and I've been reacting and growing because of it. I no longer want to own the disappointment or frustration that comes with having my boundaries crossed. I am going to own my boundaries and allow others to own their actions and choices.
These are not easy questions to answer. Why? Because each relationship is delicate. Each is important to me as I love my people. In the end, every situation is unique and can, in the long run, affect those delicate relationships. The mere process of analyzing options to dealing with boundaries can be exhausting and, at times, overwhelming.
Often my boundaries are infringed upon, and, for the most part, I allow it, it is my own choice. This process is further complicated by who I am. I am a bringer of light. The people closest to me have cautioned me of these infringements in the past. I have always listened with an open mind and heart, but I believe that we all have the potential to be better loving people given enough time, communication and love. Call me naive, but I do. It can be exhausting if there is no energy returned. Today I am ever more aware of this and I've been reacting and growing because of it. I no longer want to own the disappointment or frustration that comes with having my boundaries crossed. I am going to own my boundaries and allow others to own their actions and choices.
I know. It's a heavy moment today. It's been inspired by odd, head-scratching situations that have cropped up because of serious shifts in energy and by gentle reminders from EQ. And because of a shared crossed boundary tonight with EQ (and a subsequent discussion about it), I find myself thinking about relationship boundaries.
What I have come up with is this: I have been seriously pushing back at relationship boundaries these past couple of months because I believe I have begun to value my own boundaries with a more conscious perspective. It's partially because I have come to a point in my life where I am more aware of others absorbing my light and not mirroring it back. It's also partially EQ's fault, in a good way, because he's easily mirroring back the energy I give him. In fact, there are times where I feel I am in a deficit situation to him, instead of the role I'm more used to (and comfortable with) of being "owed". Today, I find myself questioning the silence, the lack of chase, for me and my friendship. So, instead of me chasing and trying to push and fix, as I normally do, I have decided to let go and see just what value I have in those relationships.
After all, as the saying goes:
Moments enjoying the push and pull of relationships.
Moments reasoning with oneself on life choices.
After all, as the saying goes:
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were. ~Richard Bach
Moments enjoying the push and pull of relationships.
Moments reasoning with oneself on life choices.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Moments D559: Man Time
Today was one of those afternoons that you grin and bear to get through. A family bridal shower. I've never been a fan of them, and today's gathering was no different. It's just not something that brings me pleasure. I'm more than happy to spend time with my family, more than happy to give a gift to the new couple, but I really don't want to spend 3+ hours cooped up with all that estrogen. Why? Well, most of the time I have very little in common with the women I find myself surrounded by, so it is typically three (or more) hours of trying really hard to find things to talk about. And yes, because of that, the afternoon felt like it dragged on and on.
My moment, however, came post-shower on the ride home to the big smoke. The long and short of it, my painful afternoon was a perfect opportunity for EQ, my Dad and Big Sis' husband to hang out for the afternoon. In the end, this time turned out to be some serious quality man time.
Definitely well worth the pain of attending a bridal shower to know that this afternoon was a big relationship building day for EQ, my Dad and Big Sis' hubby.
Moments complaining about boredom.
Moments instead realized as quality man time.
My moment, however, came post-shower on the ride home to the big smoke. The long and short of it, my painful afternoon was a perfect opportunity for EQ, my Dad and Big Sis' husband to hang out for the afternoon. In the end, this time turned out to be some serious quality man time.
No, that didn't mean they drank beer and watched football. That being said, there was some Jack going around and football on the TV in the background, but what the men focused on was conversation with each other. They had the time to have serious man talks, no other distractions, just the three of them. From discussions of health to diving in much deeper into some of the big life changes they are all facing. From the sounds of it (though I didn't learn about the specifics), tough questions and realizations were shared.
As my Mom said, it is a good experience for them, knowing how hard for men to talk about things. How true. Especially with their partners around. They don't want to be seen as so vulnerable in front of their partners. Today, they were able to dig deep with each other in a safe, loving, supportive environment with one another. Incredible really.
Knowing the depth of conversation shared and how things were relayed, I'm pretty certain that Big Sis' hubby and my Dad fell a lot more in love with EQ, and he with them.
Knowing the depth of conversation shared and how things were relayed, I'm pretty certain that Big Sis' hubby and my Dad fell a lot more in love with EQ, and he with them.
Definitely well worth the pain of attending a bridal shower to know that this afternoon was a big relationship building day for EQ, my Dad and Big Sis' hubby.
Moments complaining about boredom.
Moments instead realized as quality man time.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Moments D558: Big Sis Digs Deep
After a day of volleyball, EQ and I headed into the Niagara region to spend the rest of the weekend with family. Tonight was an anticipated evening, one where he would finally be able to spend some extended quality time with my "Big Sis" and her family.
The first part of our night was spent just the four of us. Shortly into dinner Big Sis' youngest daughter and her friend joined us. The atmosphere was light and jubilant with much laughter.
As the evening wore on and the kids disappeared, the adults settled in with another glass of wine and later some Jack. The conversation, inevitably, dug in a little deeper. What was incredible, and the moment I want to share, is even though some of the subjects that we dug into were serious and deep, everything was coming from a place of love and support. Serious questions were asked with a humourous tone. Family history and secrets were shared with twinkling eyes. With every turn in the conversation, I could see the relationship between EQ, Big Sis and her husband being built. At times I found myself simply sitting back and watching it form.
What was most incredible was watching my Big Sis' openness. She was open enough to go deep tonight and as the evening came to a close, I realized with a certain confidence that Bis Sis and her hubby were really enjoying EQ's company. Tonight, I watched them fall a little in love with him. A beautiful moment indeed and one that I can see happening again over the months to come. A heart warming, soul fulfilling moment.
Moments digging deeper with family.
Moments building new family relationships.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Moments D557: Baby Brother Smiles
Today was my "little" brother's birthday. (Why the quotes? Well, he may be my baby brother, but he's not so little! I've always teased him that he could have shared some of his height with me!) My moment comes from a brief phone call with him this evening.
I sent him a text early this morning wishing him a happy birthday. His reply seemed a bit flat which had me sad that he wasn't feeling more excited and loved on his birthday.
After a busy day at work, and a fun evening out with Arizona & EQ to see Evil Dead - The Musical (SO MUCH FUN!), I called my baby brother to wish him happy birthday in person.
He sounded surprised to hear from me. Good! I could hear the smile in his voice. Better! He was in his truck on his way out for drinks with the boys. AWESOME.
Even more surprisingly, we ended up talking the entire drive from his house to his friend's house. The five minute chat I had expected turned into a deeper 15+ minute conversation filled with laughs. It was really great to have the time to catch up with him and hear him smiling on the other end of the phone.
Moments to send birthday love.
Moments turned into sharing laughter and smiles.
After a busy day at work, and a fun evening out with Arizona & EQ to see Evil Dead - The Musical (SO MUCH FUN!), I called my baby brother to wish him happy birthday in person.
He sounded surprised to hear from me. Good! I could hear the smile in his voice. Better! He was in his truck on his way out for drinks with the boys. AWESOME.
Even more surprisingly, we ended up talking the entire drive from his house to his friend's house. The five minute chat I had expected turned into a deeper 15+ minute conversation filled with laughs. It was really great to have the time to catch up with him and hear him smiling on the other end of the phone.
Moments to send birthday love.
Moments turned into sharing laughter and smiles.
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