After work I met up with a friend of mine I haven’t seen in probably half a year. He and his wife are incredible people. They have been busy dealing with a new family and the last time I saw this lovely gentleman was just after his second son has been born, that was nearly a eight months ago. It’s crazy how time flies!
The plan: a group of us were to watch a co-worker perform at a comedy club. But first, this lovely gentleman joined me for dinner before the show at Grazie one of my favourite restaurants in the city. It’s been a long time since just my friend and I had had time to sit alone together, and here we found ourselves with great food, wine and an hour and a half to use up. It was a lot of fun sitting just the two of us catching up on old times!
There is a reason why this is a special moment for me over the rest of the incredibly awesome night night of comedy and more friends. It’s because some of the things that this lovely gentleman remembered felt like they were from a lifetime ago. Really truly, when you've known someone for nearly 20 years, it’s amazing to reflect upon how different your life has become since those first few years of being friends. He and I have worked together, we have gone to school together, we have gone out partying together, we have seen each other through bad relationships, good relationships and changing relationships; and and through it all we have remained friends. There may be months, sometimes even close to years passing before we have an opportunity to reconnect due to our busy lives, but when we do we always have a good time and it always feels like just yesterday when we last saw one another.
As I was sitting across from this lovely gentleman at dinner and recalling stories of our past, I realized just how lucky I was to have such incredible people in my life to call friends. My life may not even look remotely as it did 18, 15, or even 10 years ago, but through all those changes, all those shifts in life focus, I have remained friends with someone as special as this lovely gentleman and his now wife. I know in a pinch if I ever needed anything this is a friend that would be there for me. More and more I realize just how important it is to surround yourself with good people. Fortunately, I’m learning that lesson. Fortunately, I have a couple from my past that remind me to never settle for less that the best of friends.
Moments sharing laughter and stories.
Moments smiling inside knowing how fortunate I am.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Moments D402: Hard Rocking 50's Dressed Lady
I know. What a crazy dichotomy, right?
Here’s the scoop. This evening I attended the closing party for CONTACT Photo Festival. So I dressed up. It’s not often that I have an opportunity to do so. I picked out a dress that I bought late last summer and have yet to wear. It’s a pretty blue dress with flowers on it. A-line in shape, its structured reminiscent of the 50’s. It has a strange sense of innocence. It’s a bit out of my typical style as it is very “girlie”.
As I was driving to work today, I was playing OCTANE on XMRadio. That is a station dedicated to hard rock. I LOVE that station and listen to it often. Today however, it felt a little odd to be dressed up so “girlie” and in such a “delicate” dress and be listening to Octane. It was like two worlds collided. I had to laugh at that moment. I guess it just goes to show how diverse one can be. From hard rock to a delicate 50’s dress
I rather enjoyed that collision though. I’m sure I surprised a few people in rush hour traffic with my windows down, tunes heavy and my pretty blue dress.
Moments of comparing sides of one’s personality.
Moments realizing, it doesn't really matter.
Here’s the scoop. This evening I attended the closing party for CONTACT Photo Festival. So I dressed up. It’s not often that I have an opportunity to do so. I picked out a dress that I bought late last summer and have yet to wear. It’s a pretty blue dress with flowers on it. A-line in shape, its structured reminiscent of the 50’s. It has a strange sense of innocence. It’s a bit out of my typical style as it is very “girlie”.
As I was driving to work today, I was playing OCTANE on XMRadio. That is a station dedicated to hard rock. I LOVE that station and listen to it often. Today however, it felt a little odd to be dressed up so “girlie” and in such a “delicate” dress and be listening to Octane. It was like two worlds collided. I had to laugh at that moment. I guess it just goes to show how diverse one can be. From hard rock to a delicate 50’s dress
I rather enjoyed that collision though. I’m sure I surprised a few people in rush hour traffic with my windows down, tunes heavy and my pretty blue dress.
Moments of comparing sides of one’s personality.
Moments realizing, it doesn't really matter.
p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Dad, who is a SUPER star for all his hard work recuperating. He’s doing brilliantly! Love you Papa bear! xo
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Moments D401: No drowning Allowed
Today I want to recognize and celebrate my friends once again. I am such a fortunate soul to have such beautiful caring people in my life.
Here’s the scenario, perhaps you’ve been there before. The feeling that you might drown in the intensity of a situation. This could be extremely joyous feelings, or extremely overwhelming dark feelings. Sometimes just acknowledging that you have the feelings can be overwhelming. What do we tend to do? Ignore. Distract. Deny.
But sometimes, it catches up with you. You are no longer able to deny, ignore or even distract yourself from the flood coming.
Having shared this foreboding with my Bestie in the North, she had a simple insightful premise. (She’s so smart that one!) My friends are strong. They won’t let me drown. I can trust in my friends. Even my newest one. Even the ones that I haven’t spent a lot of face time with.
I kinda loved that insight.
Not only does it remind me of why I love my Bestie so much, it reminds me of how lucky I am to have such beautiful, supportive souls in my life.
Bring on the flood. I am surrounded by support.
Moments of worry and concern melting away.
Moments loving my friends that much more.
Here’s the scenario, perhaps you’ve been there before. The feeling that you might drown in the intensity of a situation. This could be extremely joyous feelings, or extremely overwhelming dark feelings. Sometimes just acknowledging that you have the feelings can be overwhelming. What do we tend to do? Ignore. Distract. Deny.
But sometimes, it catches up with you. You are no longer able to deny, ignore or even distract yourself from the flood coming.
Having shared this foreboding with my Bestie in the North, she had a simple insightful premise. (She’s so smart that one!) My friends are strong. They won’t let me drown. I can trust in my friends. Even my newest one. Even the ones that I haven’t spent a lot of face time with.
I kinda loved that insight.
Not only does it remind me of why I love my Bestie so much, it reminds me of how lucky I am to have such beautiful, supportive souls in my life.
Bring on the flood. I am surrounded by support.
Moments of worry and concern melting away.
Moments loving my friends that much more.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Moments D400: The small things; the big things
Being my four hundredth entry, I thought I should kick it up a notch. And today had a couple of moments that were relevant to a share in a milestone blog post.
Today was an incredibly busy day (yes I know, you are getting used to this by now!). But today was one of those days where I felt that sense of control slipping. Where the mass of “To Do’s” were going to swallow me up. And yet, I managed to take moments to breathe through the rising panic. I organized, prioritized and set off to tackle them one by one.
That’s a big deal for me. And as I sit here now, post-reading for my class tomorrow night, I don’t feel overwhelmed or out of control. I feel like I’ve done what I can given the tools and resources I have. Everything will work out because I do have control over that with my words and my time management. One way or another, things will get done.
A second big thing today happened, my BFF had a particularly challenging day. So much so that the news she received may be life altering for her. I tried to send her as much love and light as I could with my given time today, but it serves as a reminder of just how precious our time is, how important it is to monitor our health and invest in self above all else. (I know most of us are terrible at that!) It also brought to the forefront just how important my BFF (actually all my friends, but in this case my BFF specifically) and how important it is to share words of encouragement and love to help them through dark times.
And finally a very small moment that warmed my heart today. Today, my girlfriend from work and I, let’s call her Arizona, went to grab a coffee together today. In all honesty, we’ve rarely done this in the past because our offices were in two separate buildings only weeks ago. But this morning we went together. That in itself was a lovely moment, but there is one, smaller, and more meaningful moment to me.
Arizona & I picked up coffees for a few people in the office, one of which was destined for an amazingly creative and loving receptionist. Having been with our company for close to 20 years, she has had some serious health battles. But, she is a fighter and a lover and everyone very much adores her.
Today, we surprised her with a coffee. The genuine surprise and gratitude did not go unnoticed. Truly, this is why she is loved so. She is not shy with her sharing of love and light. Her reaction brought not only a smile to Arizona and me, but her words warmed my heart and that inspired me through the early challenges of my day. Karma? Maybe. Either way, I was happy to share a small token of love and appreciation with her.
Moments quietly appreciating the big steps taken and the significant importance of people.
Moments with enthusiastic appreciation of the small things.
Today was an incredibly busy day (yes I know, you are getting used to this by now!). But today was one of those days where I felt that sense of control slipping. Where the mass of “To Do’s” were going to swallow me up. And yet, I managed to take moments to breathe through the rising panic. I organized, prioritized and set off to tackle them one by one.
That’s a big deal for me. And as I sit here now, post-reading for my class tomorrow night, I don’t feel overwhelmed or out of control. I feel like I’ve done what I can given the tools and resources I have. Everything will work out because I do have control over that with my words and my time management. One way or another, things will get done.
A second big thing today happened, my BFF had a particularly challenging day. So much so that the news she received may be life altering for her. I tried to send her as much love and light as I could with my given time today, but it serves as a reminder of just how precious our time is, how important it is to monitor our health and invest in self above all else. (I know most of us are terrible at that!) It also brought to the forefront just how important my BFF (actually all my friends, but in this case my BFF specifically) and how important it is to share words of encouragement and love to help them through dark times.
And finally a very small moment that warmed my heart today. Today, my girlfriend from work and I, let’s call her Arizona, went to grab a coffee together today. In all honesty, we’ve rarely done this in the past because our offices were in two separate buildings only weeks ago. But this morning we went together. That in itself was a lovely moment, but there is one, smaller, and more meaningful moment to me.
Arizona & I picked up coffees for a few people in the office, one of which was destined for an amazingly creative and loving receptionist. Having been with our company for close to 20 years, she has had some serious health battles. But, she is a fighter and a lover and everyone very much adores her.
Today, we surprised her with a coffee. The genuine surprise and gratitude did not go unnoticed. Truly, this is why she is loved so. She is not shy with her sharing of love and light. Her reaction brought not only a smile to Arizona and me, but her words warmed my heart and that inspired me through the early challenges of my day. Karma? Maybe. Either way, I was happy to share a small token of love and appreciation with her.
Moments quietly appreciating the big steps taken and the significant importance of people.
Moments with enthusiastic appreciation of the small things.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Moments D399: Consulting
Today’s moment is about me becoming a consultant. I know, right? It’s kind of surprising. And yet, it has officially happened.
To be honest, today wasn’t really my first day of being a consultant (and no, I’m not being cheeky about my ability to assist others in life; being a flashlight of sorts or course). Officially my first day that would have been a couple days ago when I signed a non-disclosure agreement and had my first business discussion with an old volleyball team mate of mine. But that being said, today was the day that I was introduced to the rest (well, most of..) of the team. I was asked to share “me” with the team and that was kind of exciting. This first test of introducing myself to the team went really well. Admittedly, I wasn’t quite ready for that request from the new business owner, however that being said I think I did thank of job of doing so. And, if I might take a moment to ring my own bell, I think I sounded pretty good. I managed to surprised myself while I was speaking about my relationship to the business owner, my history and experience and of course my accomplishments and my offerings to this start-up company team. My many years of working in an office, from my basic organizational and admin skills to my innate ability to build relationships with a marketing eye has finally paid off. I realize now that I have some serious tools to offer a start-up company. That being said, I must admit, I’m a still a little nervous! I hope I’ll be a worthwhile investment for this team.
At this point in time I can’t really share what type of new opportunity I am consulting for, but I can say that it is rather exciting and the creator of this company is vibrant, excited, full of energy, and definitely full of motivation to succeed there’s certainly no no better combination than those qualities.
Today’s moment is about celebrating my tools and insights to offer within the marketing and sales segment of the world of business..
Moments to reflect upon self and ones ability to contribute.
Moments feeling part of a team.
To be honest, today wasn’t really my first day of being a consultant (and no, I’m not being cheeky about my ability to assist others in life; being a flashlight of sorts or course). Officially my first day that would have been a couple days ago when I signed a non-disclosure agreement and had my first business discussion with an old volleyball team mate of mine. But that being said, today was the day that I was introduced to the rest (well, most of..) of the team. I was asked to share “me” with the team and that was kind of exciting. This first test of introducing myself to the team went really well. Admittedly, I wasn’t quite ready for that request from the new business owner, however that being said I think I did thank of job of doing so. And, if I might take a moment to ring my own bell, I think I sounded pretty good. I managed to surprised myself while I was speaking about my relationship to the business owner, my history and experience and of course my accomplishments and my offerings to this start-up company team. My many years of working in an office, from my basic organizational and admin skills to my innate ability to build relationships with a marketing eye has finally paid off. I realize now that I have some serious tools to offer a start-up company. That being said, I must admit, I’m a still a little nervous! I hope I’ll be a worthwhile investment for this team.
At this point in time I can’t really share what type of new opportunity I am consulting for, but I can say that it is rather exciting and the creator of this company is vibrant, excited, full of energy, and definitely full of motivation to succeed there’s certainly no no better combination than those qualities.
Today’s moment is about celebrating my tools and insights to offer within the marketing and sales segment of the world of business..
Moments to reflect upon self and ones ability to contribute.
Moments feeling part of a team.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Moments D398: Extended Family
Today’s moment is about celebrating extended families. Today my family from Canada welcomed extended family from Australia. My Dad`s great-great-great grandfather was the brother of this gentleman’s great-great-great grandfather. (Crazy right?)
And so I drove out to Niagara Falls to meet up with this couple from Australia (what a fabulous drive during a bright beautiful sunny day!). Also meeting up was my Mom, my Dad, my Aunt, my Uncle and their two beautiful girls.
These Aussies might spell their name slightly differently than ours but you know there is a lot of things about them that are very similar to the Canadian contingent of the family line. In fact if you took this lovely gentleman and put him in a line them up with my uncles and my dad, I doubt you would be able to pick him out as extended family. Truly, he looks like one of the brothers. Strange, right?
We had a very lovely dinner with many laughs and stories shared. And then we too the Aussies to the 14th floor of the Oakes hotel to give them a fantastic view of Niagara Falls. It was incredible to watch how amazed, enthralled and excited they were about watching the falls. We sat there for quite awhile and watching the shifting colours and mist coming from the falls. What a beautiful moment to share their excitement in seeing the falls for the first time. Very amazing.
Moments with extended family and sharing in their explorations of our beautiful country.
Moments enjoying someone else's excitement and wonder of the world around them.
And so I drove out to Niagara Falls to meet up with this couple from Australia (what a fabulous drive during a bright beautiful sunny day!). Also meeting up was my Mom, my Dad, my Aunt, my Uncle and their two beautiful girls.
These Aussies might spell their name slightly differently than ours but you know there is a lot of things about them that are very similar to the Canadian contingent of the family line. In fact if you took this lovely gentleman and put him in a line them up with my uncles and my dad, I doubt you would be able to pick him out as extended family. Truly, he looks like one of the brothers. Strange, right?
We had a very lovely dinner with many laughs and stories shared. And then we too the Aussies to the 14th floor of the Oakes hotel to give them a fantastic view of Niagara Falls. It was incredible to watch how amazed, enthralled and excited they were about watching the falls. We sat there for quite awhile and watching the shifting colours and mist coming from the falls. What a beautiful moment to share their excitement in seeing the falls for the first time. Very amazing.
Moments with extended family and sharing in their explorations of our beautiful country.
Moments enjoying someone else's excitement and wonder of the world around them.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Moments D397: Enjoying the day
Today I spent the day on my own and just focused on getting a few things done. I have to say it was a rather enjoyable day given that most of my day was made up of chores and homework. I tried to bring a little bit of light and enjoyment to each task I did today.
First when I woke, I decided I was in no rush to get out of bed. So I was slow to rise and enjoyed the lazy moments of the day. Once up I squeezed in a 90 minute workout (I must keep pushing forward to prepare for Tough Mudder!) And then I made myself breakfast. But instead of eating my breadfast while beginning my readings, I chose to watch some TV with lunch. What a treat. It’s been awhile since I watched TV!
And then I dove into my homework. While it was only 13 degrees outside, it was very bright and sunny so I decided to go outside and sit and read outside. (The key, layers, and a blanket too!) And though the breeze was quite chilly it was beautiful to be sitting outside in the sun for a couple of hours. Once the shade came around, it was too cold to sit outside. So I came inside, opened the blinds and a couple of windows and finished my readings in the bright, cool living room. (Not quite the same sitting outside but it was sunny and pretty nonetheless.)
Just before dinner I had a surprise phone call with a friend of mine. We talked for nearly an hour about things. It was nice to catch up and to discuss the woes of life. I love those moments and it was a great break from my readings.
And then, I had an opportunity to get out for a drink with another friend. I figured why not? And so I met up for a drink for a couple of hours. What a great way to finish up the day.
So today’s moment is about loving moments the day. It was a day that wasn’t very exciting, but it was good and calm and kind to me. This I appreciate.
Moments getting “stuff” done.
Moments just going with the flow of the day.
First when I woke, I decided I was in no rush to get out of bed. So I was slow to rise and enjoyed the lazy moments of the day. Once up I squeezed in a 90 minute workout (I must keep pushing forward to prepare for Tough Mudder!) And then I made myself breakfast. But instead of eating my breadfast while beginning my readings, I chose to watch some TV with lunch. What a treat. It’s been awhile since I watched TV!
And then I dove into my homework. While it was only 13 degrees outside, it was very bright and sunny so I decided to go outside and sit and read outside. (The key, layers, and a blanket too!) And though the breeze was quite chilly it was beautiful to be sitting outside in the sun for a couple of hours. Once the shade came around, it was too cold to sit outside. So I came inside, opened the blinds and a couple of windows and finished my readings in the bright, cool living room. (Not quite the same sitting outside but it was sunny and pretty nonetheless.)
Just before dinner I had a surprise phone call with a friend of mine. We talked for nearly an hour about things. It was nice to catch up and to discuss the woes of life. I love those moments and it was a great break from my readings.
And then, I had an opportunity to get out for a drink with another friend. I figured why not? And so I met up for a drink for a couple of hours. What a great way to finish up the day.
So today’s moment is about loving moments the day. It was a day that wasn’t very exciting, but it was good and calm and kind to me. This I appreciate.
Moments getting “stuff” done.
Moments just going with the flow of the day.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Moments D396: Nephew Love
Today my youngest nephew turned seven. He’s a spitfire with lots of energy and spunk. And over the past 6-8 months he’s been going through a phase where he doesn't like to hug and kiss people. I could always coerce him into a hug at least, but kisses - no way!
Of course as the doting Aunt, that’s challenging. I love this kid. He makes me laugh, he’s adorable and I do want to show him just how much I love him. Instead of forcing hugs and kisses, what I've done over these torturous months is just be with him. I’d go and sit and watch him play his videos or join in on a foozeball. Sometimes we would have a conversation about what he’s doing or thinking about things. Just time with him instead of sitting upstairs with the adults, I made sure to spend time with him (and his brother) in their playroom in the basement.
Today was a real treat for me. As I went into their play room, he was playing foozeball with one of his cousins. He abruptly stopped and came running over to me. He gave me the biggest, tightest, longest hug I've had in months from him. He didn't want to let go! I loved every second of it! When we did part from our hug, he gave me a big kiss too!. Talk about shocked! What a fabulous surprise!
I thought maybe the affection today was just a fluke because it was his birthday. But then, later during my visit my nephew was playing with his Nintendo DS and he decided that he needed a picture of the two of us. So he interrupted his Dad`s conversation to get him to take our picture. The next thing I know, my dear sweet nephew hooks his arm under my chin and grabs my the side of my head to smooch my face into his. The camera, not very quick or easy to use on the DS, took forever. And yet, the entire time he kept our faces smooched together. It melted my heart.
As I prepared to leave much later I was gifted yet another tight squeeze and a big kiss. Yup - this is one aunt who`s heart is full of love after leaving that family gathering.
Moments realizing that patience does pay off sometimes.
Moments enjoying nephew love.
Of course as the doting Aunt, that’s challenging. I love this kid. He makes me laugh, he’s adorable and I do want to show him just how much I love him. Instead of forcing hugs and kisses, what I've done over these torturous months is just be with him. I’d go and sit and watch him play his videos or join in on a foozeball. Sometimes we would have a conversation about what he’s doing or thinking about things. Just time with him instead of sitting upstairs with the adults, I made sure to spend time with him (and his brother) in their playroom in the basement.
Today was a real treat for me. As I went into their play room, he was playing foozeball with one of his cousins. He abruptly stopped and came running over to me. He gave me the biggest, tightest, longest hug I've had in months from him. He didn't want to let go! I loved every second of it! When we did part from our hug, he gave me a big kiss too!. Talk about shocked! What a fabulous surprise!
I thought maybe the affection today was just a fluke because it was his birthday. But then, later during my visit my nephew was playing with his Nintendo DS and he decided that he needed a picture of the two of us. So he interrupted his Dad`s conversation to get him to take our picture. The next thing I know, my dear sweet nephew hooks his arm under my chin and grabs my the side of my head to smooch my face into his. The camera, not very quick or easy to use on the DS, took forever. And yet, the entire time he kept our faces smooched together. It melted my heart.
As I prepared to leave much later I was gifted yet another tight squeeze and a big kiss. Yup - this is one aunt who`s heart is full of love after leaving that family gathering.
Moments realizing that patience does pay off sometimes.
Moments enjoying nephew love.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Moments D395: Time with Dad
Normally when I call my Mom & Dad I end up talking to both of them at the same time, or it’s just my Mom as Dad is typically out and about. How do I talk to them both at the same time? They each pick up a phone extension so the three of us are all in on the conversation. It’s been like this since I moved away from home and it always makes me smile.
But today when I called, my Mom was in the shower, so Dad and I chatted on our own. A bit of a rarity!
Now you might recall that my dad actually had open heart surgery just over a week ago, so having an opportunity to talk to him alone about how he’s doing and feeling through his recuperation was quite interesting. I think he was a little more honest because he didn`t have Mom to worry about with some of his pains that he shared.
My dad and I chatted for about 15 minutes overall. It was a lovely conversation and I know I was smiling the entire time. His energy and outlook are more positive than I’ve seen in years. He’s excited for his coming adventures. He’s excited to share a couple of those with me.
The first thing he did was find out when and how he can get travel insurance. Low and behold, he’s good to go in the next three months. He’s eager to find a trip that he and Mom can do in the fall!
A cousin of mine is getting married in Jamaica next March. Check. He’s officially going now.
He and Mom have been wanting to do a European river cruise for years now. This is now top priority to book. This is a trip that he wants me to join them on. Either fall of 2014 or spring 2015. Yes, my Dad is a planner. (Now you know where I get it from!)
Dad is ready to travel. I can’t wait to hear all about their coming travels and honestly, I’m excited to share in the experience of the river cruise through Europe. What an experience that will be. I’m so very happy that he’s in this new head space with their health issues behind them.
So today’s moment is celebrating my dad, his amazingly speedy recovery and his renewed lust for life. Seeing him invigorated once again inspires me to dig a little deeper too.
And yes, I look forward to travelling with him that will be a great moment!
Moments celebrating victories.
Moments appreciating family.
But today when I called, my Mom was in the shower, so Dad and I chatted on our own. A bit of a rarity!
Now you might recall that my dad actually had open heart surgery just over a week ago, so having an opportunity to talk to him alone about how he’s doing and feeling through his recuperation was quite interesting. I think he was a little more honest because he didn`t have Mom to worry about with some of his pains that he shared.
My dad and I chatted for about 15 minutes overall. It was a lovely conversation and I know I was smiling the entire time. His energy and outlook are more positive than I’ve seen in years. He’s excited for his coming adventures. He’s excited to share a couple of those with me.
The first thing he did was find out when and how he can get travel insurance. Low and behold, he’s good to go in the next three months. He’s eager to find a trip that he and Mom can do in the fall!
A cousin of mine is getting married in Jamaica next March. Check. He’s officially going now.
He and Mom have been wanting to do a European river cruise for years now. This is now top priority to book. This is a trip that he wants me to join them on. Either fall of 2014 or spring 2015. Yes, my Dad is a planner. (Now you know where I get it from!)
Dad is ready to travel. I can’t wait to hear all about their coming travels and honestly, I’m excited to share in the experience of the river cruise through Europe. What an experience that will be. I’m so very happy that he’s in this new head space with their health issues behind them.
So today’s moment is celebrating my dad, his amazingly speedy recovery and his renewed lust for life. Seeing him invigorated once again inspires me to dig a little deeper too.
And yes, I look forward to travelling with him that will be a great moment!
Moments celebrating victories.
Moments appreciating family.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Moments D394: Life Coach
Today was another day of juggling the needs of one’s regular job preparing for a big tradeshow and working in a devastated office detailing what was to be cleaned and what was to be destroyed. And while there were some moments that most certainly brought a smile to my face (like meeting the gentlemen Guillermo & Paulo who do disaster cleanup for a living or taking silly photos of our team decked out in overalls and masks.) the real moment came much later in the day.
This moment brought to you by Mr. Vodka Soda Cran (VSC) via text while I was sitting in class. He brought up the idea of life coaching and whether or not I had heard of the concept before as he was considering attending a couple of sessions with a friend of his who had offered him a couple of sessions pro bono. I told him yes, of course I had heard of the pratice/service of life coaching and I questioned him as to why he was asking.
VSC blurted out that he felt that life coaching was my life calling. That he has felt this way for some time and now that he’s read more about it (because of his friends offer of a couple of sessions) he’s more convinced than ever that this is what I am meant to be doing.
This surprised me, but as I thought about it and questioned him on his reasoning, my perspective shifted a bit. And the conversation that followed post-class was just as deep about the why and how. Frankly, I love those deep conversations! (It’s too bad I had to cut it short to get myself a late post-class dinner.)
But that 20 minute-ride-home discussion had the wheels turning in my head. I was amused by VSC’s insight because I’ve always had an affinity towards people, their perspectives on life and how to help them be better, deeper selves. That combined with the fact that people tend to gravitate towards me and share them with me, and I have to wonder if helping people identify and achieve their goals would be something that I would really excel at and I’d be able to dig deeper within my own growth and evolution. Then again, on some level, can’t I, aren’t I, already doing that? Did I not just write about that?
Interesting. It has me thinking. It has me questioning. It has me digging deep within. This I love.
Moments knowing that I have already made a difference in some lives and knowing that I will yet find ways to make a difference.
Moments thinking about other possible paths and questioning the current one.
This moment brought to you by Mr. Vodka Soda Cran (VSC) via text while I was sitting in class. He brought up the idea of life coaching and whether or not I had heard of the concept before as he was considering attending a couple of sessions with a friend of his who had offered him a couple of sessions pro bono. I told him yes, of course I had heard of the pratice/service of life coaching and I questioned him as to why he was asking.
VSC blurted out that he felt that life coaching was my life calling. That he has felt this way for some time and now that he’s read more about it (because of his friends offer of a couple of sessions) he’s more convinced than ever that this is what I am meant to be doing.
This surprised me, but as I thought about it and questioned him on his reasoning, my perspective shifted a bit. And the conversation that followed post-class was just as deep about the why and how. Frankly, I love those deep conversations! (It’s too bad I had to cut it short to get myself a late post-class dinner.)
But that 20 minute-ride-home discussion had the wheels turning in my head. I was amused by VSC’s insight because I’ve always had an affinity towards people, their perspectives on life and how to help them be better, deeper selves. That combined with the fact that people tend to gravitate towards me and share them with me, and I have to wonder if helping people identify and achieve their goals would be something that I would really excel at and I’d be able to dig deeper within my own growth and evolution. Then again, on some level, can’t I, aren’t I, already doing that? Did I not just write about that?
Interesting. It has me thinking. It has me questioning. It has me digging deep within. This I love.
Moments knowing that I have already made a difference in some lives and knowing that I will yet find ways to make a difference.
Moments thinking about other possible paths and questioning the current one.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Moments D393: Teamwork
Today, although an incredibly challenging day, was an inspiring day. Today my department dealt with the complete relocation of our office. Each of us, individually, dealt with the loss of our “things” from the simplest of things like our tape dispensers or notepads to our personal belongings lost to fire damage.
We, as a team, went back into our devastated office. We removed what we could and left the rest behind for the company coming in to clean up what they could and destroy the rest. It was an eerie feeling being in the office without electricity, with the windows boarded up, flashlights, and smartphone apps guiding our way.
It was amazing at how quickly the team settled into our new, very close office environment. Truly we are a tight team before, now, it will be a test of that closeness. .
Beyond the “micro-teamwork”, there was an entire contingent of the “macro-team” where the store managers, warehouse staff, IT, admin staff and everyone in between assisted us. It took 3 hours yesterday and a couple this morning to get us up and running. AMAZING considering the trauma department had just undergone.
Bottom line, we have the best team anyone could ever ask for. Today’s moment is dedicated to those amazing team members who made my team’s lives that much easier today. Those who brought a smile, or a handful of pens.
Moments of pride for the team supporting us.
Moments having your beliefs of people being good and kind being reaffirmed.
We, as a team, went back into our devastated office. We removed what we could and left the rest behind for the company coming in to clean up what they could and destroy the rest. It was an eerie feeling being in the office without electricity, with the windows boarded up, flashlights, and smartphone apps guiding our way.
It was amazing at how quickly the team settled into our new, very close office environment. Truly we are a tight team before, now, it will be a test of that closeness. .
Beyond the “micro-teamwork”, there was an entire contingent of the “macro-team” where the store managers, warehouse staff, IT, admin staff and everyone in between assisted us. It took 3 hours yesterday and a couple this morning to get us up and running. AMAZING considering the trauma department had just undergone.
Bottom line, we have the best team anyone could ever ask for. Today’s moment is dedicated to those amazing team members who made my team’s lives that much easier today. Those who brought a smile, or a handful of pens.
Moments of pride for the team supporting us.
Moments having your beliefs of people being good and kind being reaffirmed.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Moments D392: Unbashful Love
Today was a crazy day. Last night we heard that there was a fire in our office building. We knew that the fire department had broken one of our office windows, but we didn’t know much else.
So, when I woke today, I had a delightful conversation with my girl in the North Country and then worked out for 90 minutes. I then signed up for Tough Mudder because, well, why not? My friend wants to be reborn and shed his skin. I think I could use a little of that therapy!
And then I got the call: Head to the office, salvage what you can. So no breakfast, no lunch, barely out of the shower and I rushed down to the office.
The office was a disaster area. Much was waterlogged, but we were able to save and move out many of our computers and printers. It was a day spent moving stuff from our office to a makeshift office elsewhere. And with only three weeks before our big tradeshow, it’s going to be interesting.
And while being in the middle of a big fire scene was rather interesting (the smoke damage, the campfire smell on everything, the broken windows, the teamwork to get everything moved out and set up elsewhere etc.) it wasn’t my moment of the day. Though I suppose I can check it off my bucket list!
My moment of the day was actually as I was driving home from the office. As I waited at one of the stop lights, there was a couple standing, arm and arm facing one another. He was gently stroking his partner’s face and then he tenderly kissed him. It was such a beautiful moment, especially given that only moments earlier a friend and I had been discussing how much hate still exists in the world for people who are different than the so-called norm. Very apropos.
So today’s moment celebrates unbashful love. Here’s to our right as human beings to love whomever we want to.
Moments of surprise followed by happiness.
Moments recognizing how far we've come and how far we have yet to go.
So, when I woke today, I had a delightful conversation with my girl in the North Country and then worked out for 90 minutes. I then signed up for Tough Mudder because, well, why not? My friend wants to be reborn and shed his skin. I think I could use a little of that therapy!
And then I got the call: Head to the office, salvage what you can. So no breakfast, no lunch, barely out of the shower and I rushed down to the office.
The office was a disaster area. Much was waterlogged, but we were able to save and move out many of our computers and printers. It was a day spent moving stuff from our office to a makeshift office elsewhere. And with only three weeks before our big tradeshow, it’s going to be interesting.
And while being in the middle of a big fire scene was rather interesting (the smoke damage, the campfire smell on everything, the broken windows, the teamwork to get everything moved out and set up elsewhere etc.) it wasn’t my moment of the day. Though I suppose I can check it off my bucket list!
My moment of the day was actually as I was driving home from the office. As I waited at one of the stop lights, there was a couple standing, arm and arm facing one another. He was gently stroking his partner’s face and then he tenderly kissed him. It was such a beautiful moment, especially given that only moments earlier a friend and I had been discussing how much hate still exists in the world for people who are different than the so-called norm. Very apropos.
So today’s moment celebrates unbashful love. Here’s to our right as human beings to love whomever we want to.
Moments of surprise followed by happiness.
Moments recognizing how far we've come and how far we have yet to go.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Moments D391: BBQ Smokefest
Today I woke feeling lazy and so I switched my day up. Originally I was going to head to the beach to play volleyball all day before heading to my baseball coach’s BBQ. Instead, I was lazy and planted my herb garden. It felt good to have my hands in the earth. I missed that last summer, but last year I was hurting about leaving my gardens behind at my old home. I wasn’t ready to have my hands in the earth again. Today however, I was ready. And I loved every minute of it.
And then my oldest girlfriend came over. Stop the presses…..
I’m going to give “my oldest girlfriend” a nickname because here in my blog it’s easier and I think it’s time. Heini. She is now dubbed Heini because while I’ve known her forever, she’s not my oldest girlfriend, just one that’s been in my life for a very long time.
Phew. I’m glad we have that sorted out.
So Heini came over just as I had hopped out of the shower. I finished prettifying and she tossed the salad we were bringing to the BBQ and off we went.
The BBQ was a smokefest. Ribs, burgers, salads, beer, caesars, oh my! So much food. The company was great, the food was amazing, but the best moment of the day was when Heini offered to help clean away the paper plates after we ate.
Now, Heini is shorter than I am. I’m 5’4.75”. The gent hosting the BBQ is likely close to 6’ tall. He scopped the plates from the table before she could dive in and literally held them high above her head. And Heini jumped for them.
It was like a bad scene out of a comedy. And on cue, we all laughed deeply about it. How amusing to watch. Of course, she lost that battle. (if you’re going to lose a battle that’s not such a bad one to lose!)
Moments with friends & great food.
Moments of belly hurting laughter.
And then my oldest girlfriend came over. Stop the presses…..
I’m going to give “my oldest girlfriend” a nickname because here in my blog it’s easier and I think it’s time. Heini. She is now dubbed Heini because while I’ve known her forever, she’s not my oldest girlfriend, just one that’s been in my life for a very long time.
Phew. I’m glad we have that sorted out.
So Heini came over just as I had hopped out of the shower. I finished prettifying and she tossed the salad we were bringing to the BBQ and off we went.
The BBQ was a smokefest. Ribs, burgers, salads, beer, caesars, oh my! So much food. The company was great, the food was amazing, but the best moment of the day was when Heini offered to help clean away the paper plates after we ate.
Now, Heini is shorter than I am. I’m 5’4.75”. The gent hosting the BBQ is likely close to 6’ tall. He scopped the plates from the table before she could dive in and literally held them high above her head. And Heini jumped for them.
It was like a bad scene out of a comedy. And on cue, we all laughed deeply about it. How amusing to watch. Of course, she lost that battle. (if you’re going to lose a battle that’s not such a bad one to lose!)
Moments with friends & great food.
Moments of belly hurting laughter.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Moments D390: Deep Discussions
Today was an interesting day. I woke a little slowly, but we moved quickly to get to the hospital to wait for Dad to get his discharge papers. Unfortunately it took a little longer than expected, but the time was well spent. I was able to meet one of Dad’s “cell mates” Bob. Bob was delightful and, at 78, he had much to share and I rather enjoyed his stories and his energy.
Hours later, Dad was in the passenger seat and Mom was driving them home.
I made my way home and puttered around for a bit cleaning up the week. And then, I packed a bag, some tasty beverages and I made my way to my BFF’s place. After the week, after having my core shaken again it was exactly what I needed. Low key, backyard sunshine and the best company ever!
We had many deep discussions and we watched the sun go down. We had a delightful first BBQ of the season - BBQ’d meat, veggies and yes, salad. And then the sprinkling rain came. We were finishing up our third bottle by then.
And then the discussion of the day: Was this what we hoped for?
Life. Never as straightforward as you hope for and it’s always offering you learning opportunities. We sat with this idea for a bit as we watched music videos under the big umbrella in the cold spring rain.
Was this what we hoped for?
My philosophy is that if it’s not what you hoped for, it is still well within your control. If you find yourself in a place that you aren’t happy with, then it’s time to take a good hard look at why and find a way to work towards that end goal. Often we settle. Often we find comfort in something that is known, but comfort alone isn’t enough. Sometimes, we’re aware of a deficiency, but we keep ourselves busy and ignore the deeper signs. But truly, we all have the ability to work towards what we hope for. That path isn’t easy. Sometimes it forces you to have a long hard look in the mirror and sometimes it breaks your heart. But after all that hard work, when you get to your goal, it’s that much sweeter.
So today, is a celebration of deep discussions. Of revisiting what’s most important in my life and finding the best path towards that end. It’s about friends, it’s about family and it’s about enjoying the walk along that path, not running too hard and fast that I miss out.
Moments with your best friend.
Moments digging deeper into self..
Hours later, Dad was in the passenger seat and Mom was driving them home.
I made my way home and puttered around for a bit cleaning up the week. And then, I packed a bag, some tasty beverages and I made my way to my BFF’s place. After the week, after having my core shaken again it was exactly what I needed. Low key, backyard sunshine and the best company ever!
We had many deep discussions and we watched the sun go down. We had a delightful first BBQ of the season - BBQ’d meat, veggies and yes, salad. And then the sprinkling rain came. We were finishing up our third bottle by then.
And then the discussion of the day: Was this what we hoped for?
Life. Never as straightforward as you hope for and it’s always offering you learning opportunities. We sat with this idea for a bit as we watched music videos under the big umbrella in the cold spring rain.
Was this what we hoped for?
My philosophy is that if it’s not what you hoped for, it is still well within your control. If you find yourself in a place that you aren’t happy with, then it’s time to take a good hard look at why and find a way to work towards that end goal. Often we settle. Often we find comfort in something that is known, but comfort alone isn’t enough. Sometimes, we’re aware of a deficiency, but we keep ourselves busy and ignore the deeper signs. But truly, we all have the ability to work towards what we hope for. That path isn’t easy. Sometimes it forces you to have a long hard look in the mirror and sometimes it breaks your heart. But after all that hard work, when you get to your goal, it’s that much sweeter.
So today, is a celebration of deep discussions. Of revisiting what’s most important in my life and finding the best path towards that end. It’s about friends, it’s about family and it’s about enjoying the walk along that path, not running too hard and fast that I miss out.
Moments with your best friend.
Moments digging deeper into self..
Friday, May 17, 2013
Moments D389: Friday Lunches
Today I met up with a friend I haven’t seen since months after she had her second beautiful son. Her son is now just over 15 months old.
My day started off with a bang and I put my head down and ploughed through a lot of work. Before I knew it, my girlfriend had touched base to check in on me and make sure that we were still on for lunch. I could’t believe that it was already 11:30 am. The morning have zipped by! And while I was deep into my work, there was no way I was missing out on this lunch!
My girlfriend and I had an amazing lunch. Time seemed to slow and we managed to get caught up with much laughter.
And to think, I very nearly missed it because I wasn’t paying attention - distracted by work.
Today’s moment - my Friday lunch. A Friday lunch out of the office! HAPPY days indeed.
I’m even happier yet knowing that my dear old Dad will be leaving the hospital tomorrow morning.
Moments with a near missed lunch.
Moments enjoying awesome food with an awesome person.
My day started off with a bang and I put my head down and ploughed through a lot of work. Before I knew it, my girlfriend had touched base to check in on me and make sure that we were still on for lunch. I could’t believe that it was already 11:30 am. The morning have zipped by! And while I was deep into my work, there was no way I was missing out on this lunch!
My girlfriend and I had an amazing lunch. Time seemed to slow and we managed to get caught up with much laughter.
And to think, I very nearly missed it because I wasn’t paying attention - distracted by work.
Today’s moment - my Friday lunch. A Friday lunch out of the office! HAPPY days indeed.
I’m even happier yet knowing that my dear old Dad will be leaving the hospital tomorrow morning.
Moments with a near missed lunch.
Moments enjoying awesome food with an awesome person.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Moments D388: Being Present
As this week passes by I have come to appreciate new perspectives on old facets of my life and to ponder possible futures. I suppose this had been sparked partially because I’ve spent so much time in the hospital recently. I think the shift also comes from having had some longer days and evenings to talk, really talk, with my Mom and I’ve had more time than ever to be introspective about my path too. This triangulation had caused the shift. Today’s moment of recognizing the need to be present helps to solidify these thoughts. And so… my moment of the day.
Today two of my dearest friends surprised my Mom, Dad and I at the hospital by finding us in the patient conservatory. I knew they were coming, but I was surprised to see them walk in the door when I thought I was going to meet them downstairs. What a lovely surprise that was.
The 5 of us sat in the conservatory and chatted for over an hour. I found it incredibly interesting how my parents and these two incredible gentlemen shared stories with one another. On some level I merely sat back and watched. One of my best friends recently lost his father and yet here he was, barely a week back from the funeral out of the country and he was in a hospital talking to my Mom and Dad. He shared memories of his Dad, both silly and sad. Being present at the time (in that I was hyper aware and not really adding much to the conversation but watching as an outsider) I could feel that this was something good for him.
On the flip side, seeing my Dad so very engaged and telling his own stories was another “being present” moment as I watched and enjoyed the flow of energy between my parents and my best friends. Again, I watched more than I participated. The laughter was real and deep. The tender moments weren’t awkward, instead they felt cathartic in the sharing. Shareing the belief of when it’s your time, it’s your time. Shareing moments of gratitude for our supportive health care system.
The ebb and flow. It felt also very real and natural.
My moment from all of this is realizing that being more fully present is something I need to do more of. Being present with those I love is far more important than many things that cross my path in a day. From a “micro” perspective, the depth of a relationship depends, to some extent upon the time invested into them. Sure it’s necessary to have a connection on some level, but being present gives the relationship depth. From a “macro”perspective: life is short. Life is fragile. Why wouldn’t you always be present to the ebb and flow of energy?
Moments where you solidify wants vs needs a little more.
Moments of being present.
Today two of my dearest friends surprised my Mom, Dad and I at the hospital by finding us in the patient conservatory. I knew they were coming, but I was surprised to see them walk in the door when I thought I was going to meet them downstairs. What a lovely surprise that was.
The 5 of us sat in the conservatory and chatted for over an hour. I found it incredibly interesting how my parents and these two incredible gentlemen shared stories with one another. On some level I merely sat back and watched. One of my best friends recently lost his father and yet here he was, barely a week back from the funeral out of the country and he was in a hospital talking to my Mom and Dad. He shared memories of his Dad, both silly and sad. Being present at the time (in that I was hyper aware and not really adding much to the conversation but watching as an outsider) I could feel that this was something good for him.
On the flip side, seeing my Dad so very engaged and telling his own stories was another “being present” moment as I watched and enjoyed the flow of energy between my parents and my best friends. Again, I watched more than I participated. The laughter was real and deep. The tender moments weren’t awkward, instead they felt cathartic in the sharing. Shareing the belief of when it’s your time, it’s your time. Shareing moments of gratitude for our supportive health care system.
The ebb and flow. It felt also very real and natural.
My moment from all of this is realizing that being more fully present is something I need to do more of. Being present with those I love is far more important than many things that cross my path in a day. From a “micro” perspective, the depth of a relationship depends, to some extent upon the time invested into them. Sure it’s necessary to have a connection on some level, but being present gives the relationship depth. From a “macro”perspective: life is short. Life is fragile. Why wouldn’t you always be present to the ebb and flow of energy?
Moments where you solidify wants vs needs a little more.
Moments of being present.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Moments D387: Puddle Jumping
Today I was fortunate to have a couple of great moments. From an amusing photo of my Dad up and walking today in the hospital, to watching two friends (strangers to me) literally run into one another on the street and watching the laughter that ensued. Many moments where I paused and smiled or contemplated. A bright day of light.
But the one moment I want to focus on happened as I was walking to class tonight. It became significant for me for I had thought of doing the same. Instead, I chose not to for fear of “looking silly”. (This is not normally something I worry about, but today I didn’t want to stand out.)
On campus there is a man-made shallow pond. In summers past, it’s been filled with water. It is still early in the season and it remains mostly empty, minus a few puddles of collected rain at its edges. Walking through the “pond” when it is empty is popular as it is a faster path than walking around to get from one building to another.
As I began my crossing I deviated from the shortest path because of a big puddle. I walked around it, even though I thought about jumping over it, or {gasp} through it. And then, as I neared the other side of the pond, a student walking in the opposite direction did what I could not: he jumped the puddle. In fact, he jumped to a dry spot surrounded by water and then hopped from there over the rest of the puddle. I could help but smile and nod at him. I think I even giggled to myself as I finished up my walk to class.
Puddle jumping. Definitely underrated.
On my way back to the car after class, I jumped that dang puddle! OF COURSE I did. I don’t see a sign like that and not accept it!
And then I smiled all the way back to the parking garage.
Moments of being grounded.
Moments of letting loose!
But the one moment I want to focus on happened as I was walking to class tonight. It became significant for me for I had thought of doing the same. Instead, I chose not to for fear of “looking silly”. (This is not normally something I worry about, but today I didn’t want to stand out.)
On campus there is a man-made shallow pond. In summers past, it’s been filled with water. It is still early in the season and it remains mostly empty, minus a few puddles of collected rain at its edges. Walking through the “pond” when it is empty is popular as it is a faster path than walking around to get from one building to another.
As I began my crossing I deviated from the shortest path because of a big puddle. I walked around it, even though I thought about jumping over it, or {gasp} through it. And then, as I neared the other side of the pond, a student walking in the opposite direction did what I could not: he jumped the puddle. In fact, he jumped to a dry spot surrounded by water and then hopped from there over the rest of the puddle. I could help but smile and nod at him. I think I even giggled to myself as I finished up my walk to class.
Puddle jumping. Definitely underrated.
On my way back to the car after class, I jumped that dang puddle! OF COURSE I did. I don’t see a sign like that and not accept it!
And then I smiled all the way back to the parking garage.
Moments of being grounded.
Moments of letting loose!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Moments D386: Priorities
Today I was in the office early with the expectation that I’d get out on time, or maybe even a little early to head back to the hospital to visit with Dad. I, as always, ended up working later than anticipated without even noticing the time. When I did notice the time, I literally stopped in my current task (which I would normally wrap up) and locked my computer up for the night. I popped over to my colleague’s office and told him that I was heading out. It was met with a quizzical look as that is not typical of me. After explaining that I was not going to miss seeing my Dad his first day post-operation, he completely understood.
The moment that brought a tear to my eye was walking into Dad`s hospital room and seeing the smile light his face and that sparkle twinkling in his eyes again. With a hug and a kiss, any guilt I had for leaving work dissipated.
I spent the rest of visiting hours with him (and Mom) sharing stories and helping him to stand. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Nothing is more important than being there for those you love.
Moments of clarification.
Moments better understanding priorities.
The moment that brought a tear to my eye was walking into Dad`s hospital room and seeing the smile light his face and that sparkle twinkling in his eyes again. With a hug and a kiss, any guilt I had for leaving work dissipated.
I spent the rest of visiting hours with him (and Mom) sharing stories and helping him to stand. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Nothing is more important than being there for those you love.
Moments of clarification.
Moments better understanding priorities.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Moments D385b: 30's are NOT the new 20's
A Ted Talk that I watched today that echoes my feeling of not procrastinating. Take hold. Cease the day. Invest in yourself.
http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20.html
Moments D385: Legacies
Today I was in the hospital from the crack of dawn to sunset. After spending over 12 hours in the hospital, a large portion of that in a waiting room, one has a lot of time to think about, well, pretty much everything.
In the waiting room, there were many families waiting for news about their loved ones. While the first waiting room we waited in as Dad was having his surgery was eerily quiet with hushed tones, the second waiting room for the CVICU was more a-buzz with shared stories amoungst waiting family members.
Some, actually, come to think of it, most of the stories I heard tugged at my heart strings. The gentleman undergoing by-pass surgery for a second time because he couldn’t find the willpower to stop eating fast food, even with his doting daughter cooking for him more often than not. She was heart broken and angry. The wife who was shocked when her husband fell over with his heart attack. She was too stunned to call 911 at first. She shared her terrifying story in great detail with her family around her and for the rest of the waiting room to hear. There were others and each time I silently thanked my father for paying attention to his body. For listening to its cry for help so that he was here for surgery on a preventative measure instead of an urgent necessity.
Listening to these stories and walking through the different wings of the hospital over the course of the day really had me thinking about legacies. Each wing was dedicated (named) in someone’s honour. I didn’t know whoPeter Munk was until just today and that’s only because he has a ward in Toronto General named after him. Now, reading his bio, I realize that his legacy goes well beyond the naming of this wing, but it’s purpose worked - I now know who he is.
Legacies. Interesting fuel for one that has a burning fire within.
It’s hard not to think about what MY legacy will be. I don’t have an outstanding career. I don’t have children. I will not invent something that changes the world, nor will I ever have enough money to inspire a new wing in a hospital or to establish a new arm in a university. So what’s my offering to the world and what do I leave behind?
Good question. It’s a question that crosses my mind from time to time, but not one that I’ve sat with for so long and with such depth as I have today. Today, I found myself digging deeper on the subject.
Here’s what I realized and what I am actually quite happy and comfortable about: I live (at least I really try) each day as a new day. I push myself hard every day. I believe that there is no room in my life for laziness. (And no, I’m not talking about the peaceful calm, quiet of relaxing.) Every day, every moment is a new opportunity to define myself. I may not have a legacy to offer the world, but I know that I do touch lives. I have inspired. I have consoled. I have commiserated. I have laughed and brought laughter. I know that I bring a light to many. Can I call that my legacy? I don’t know. I really don’t. But I do know, that I’m not sitting around feeling sorry for myself that I don’t have a traditional legacy to offer the world. When I’m gone, the world will keep turning and I will be forgotten. That’s okay - what the heck do I care? I’ll be ashes in the wind. What’s more important to me, is being here and now and making a difference when and where I can.
My moment today is recognizing that it’s okay to be average and not have a legacy. Through that discovery process, I realized also that those closest to me would never agree with that statement above. I know that I’ve made a difference in their lives. It may not be worthy of a namesake and my name going down in history, but it means the world to me to know that I’ve made a difference in some peoples lives. However small my contribution is to this world, it matters.
Moments realizing your insignificance.
Moments realizing your importance.
In the waiting room, there were many families waiting for news about their loved ones. While the first waiting room we waited in as Dad was having his surgery was eerily quiet with hushed tones, the second waiting room for the CVICU was more a-buzz with shared stories amoungst waiting family members.
Some, actually, come to think of it, most of the stories I heard tugged at my heart strings. The gentleman undergoing by-pass surgery for a second time because he couldn’t find the willpower to stop eating fast food, even with his doting daughter cooking for him more often than not. She was heart broken and angry. The wife who was shocked when her husband fell over with his heart attack. She was too stunned to call 911 at first. She shared her terrifying story in great detail with her family around her and for the rest of the waiting room to hear. There were others and each time I silently thanked my father for paying attention to his body. For listening to its cry for help so that he was here for surgery on a preventative measure instead of an urgent necessity.
Listening to these stories and walking through the different wings of the hospital over the course of the day really had me thinking about legacies. Each wing was dedicated (named) in someone’s honour. I didn’t know whoPeter Munk was until just today and that’s only because he has a ward in Toronto General named after him. Now, reading his bio, I realize that his legacy goes well beyond the naming of this wing, but it’s purpose worked - I now know who he is.
Legacies. Interesting fuel for one that has a burning fire within.
It’s hard not to think about what MY legacy will be. I don’t have an outstanding career. I don’t have children. I will not invent something that changes the world, nor will I ever have enough money to inspire a new wing in a hospital or to establish a new arm in a university. So what’s my offering to the world and what do I leave behind?
Good question. It’s a question that crosses my mind from time to time, but not one that I’ve sat with for so long and with such depth as I have today. Today, I found myself digging deeper on the subject.
Here’s what I realized and what I am actually quite happy and comfortable about: I live (at least I really try) each day as a new day. I push myself hard every day. I believe that there is no room in my life for laziness. (And no, I’m not talking about the peaceful calm, quiet of relaxing.) Every day, every moment is a new opportunity to define myself. I may not have a legacy to offer the world, but I know that I do touch lives. I have inspired. I have consoled. I have commiserated. I have laughed and brought laughter. I know that I bring a light to many. Can I call that my legacy? I don’t know. I really don’t. But I do know, that I’m not sitting around feeling sorry for myself that I don’t have a traditional legacy to offer the world. When I’m gone, the world will keep turning and I will be forgotten. That’s okay - what the heck do I care? I’ll be ashes in the wind. What’s more important to me, is being here and now and making a difference when and where I can.
My moment today is recognizing that it’s okay to be average and not have a legacy. Through that discovery process, I realized also that those closest to me would never agree with that statement above. I know that I’ve made a difference in their lives. It may not be worthy of a namesake and my name going down in history, but it means the world to me to know that I’ve made a difference in some peoples lives. However small my contribution is to this world, it matters.
Moments realizing your insignificance.
Moments realizing your importance.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Moments D384: Waste not want not
Today was Mother’s Day. A day to celebrate Mom’s everywhere who dig deep to find patience and who share their humor and love everyday. Today, sadly, was not about my dear sweet Mother. (though we certainly find ways to give her love!)
Instead of celebrating the wonderful woman who raised me today, (a woman who is strong, kind and overly generous with her love and positive energy), she and I spent the afternoon keeping my Dad’s mind occupied from his coming open-heart surgery. We were all in good spirits as we shared stories and then eventually played some cards. There was much laughter in hushed tones in the shared hospital room. We giggled like silly school kids waiting to be shushed. Fun and laugher amoung the nerves.
And while we were unable to focus solely on Mom today, I know she was comforted that I was with her. In the emotion of the day, she didn’t really read her cards. I know, tomorrow when it is over, she will take the time to savour every word. But today, today she was focused on making sure my Dad was comfortable and focused on his tough job ahead. Selfless. She’s always been so selfless.
In my own private way I celebrated Mom from the moment I left my house to the end of the day. After all, the amount of love she has for my father is tangible and adorable to watch. (Don't we all dream of that? ) My first stop of today, which also reminded me of my incredible Mother was the inspiration of today’s moment.
As children my Mother would always remind my brother and I “waste not want not”. The premise being, don’t take more than you need, or if you do, share or repurpose it.
On my way to meet my Mom and Dad at the hospital I stopped to eat lunch at a lo
cal Mr. Sub. There was gent, maybe a wee younger than I who ordered, was served before me, and he finished eating before me. I watched him as he left.
He paused just outside the door and started to rub his fingers together. It actually took me a moment to understand what he was doing. He was actually standing there crumbling his leftover bun onto the ground below. When the realization came I smiled immediately and thought to myself “waste not want not”.
There were many other moments today that reminded me how special my mother is. So, while we weren't able to have a big focused celebration of Mom today, I know I celebrated her all day long.
Thank you Mom for teaching me what is most important in life. Of course I'm at your side helping. You taught me well.
Moments of childhood memories.
Moments being thankful for such a beautiful soul in my life.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Moments D383: Hats
Today I was in Chinatown with my Mom & Dad for dinner (which, incidentally was delightful in both the company and the food!). On the way back to the hotel, my Mom & I stopped into a couple of shops along the way.
One of the cute stores sold hats and glasses. Now, typically I wouldn’t bother dropping into this kind of store, after all, I don’t really wear fancy hats. (Winter hats & baseball hats, sure….but a cute fedora?) But we were lazily making our way back, so we stopped in.
There we were, Mom & daughter trying on hats and eyeing the scarves. Everything was on sale. Mom & I discussed the merits of owning a hat such as this cute fedora. Where the heck would I ever wear it? That really wasn’t the question. The question was, for $10, why not find a place to wear the cute fedora? And so, I bought it, along with a killer scarf with skulls on it.
Yes, now I need a place to wear it. Think it’s too much for the hospital tomorrow?
Moments stepping outside your comfort zone.
One of the cute stores sold hats and glasses. Now, typically I wouldn’t bother dropping into this kind of store, after all, I don’t really wear fancy hats. (Winter hats & baseball hats, sure….but a cute fedora?) But we were lazily making our way back, so we stopped in.
There we were, Mom & daughter trying on hats and eyeing the scarves. Everything was on sale. Mom & I discussed the merits of owning a hat such as this cute fedora. Where the heck would I ever wear it? That really wasn’t the question. The question was, for $10, why not find a place to wear the cute fedora? And so, I bought it, along with a killer scarf with skulls on it.
Yes, now I need a place to wear it. Think it’s too much for the hospital tomorrow?
Moments stepping outside your comfort zone.
Moments finding a new fashion statement. (maybe...)
Friday, May 10, 2013
Moments D382: Contemplation Redux
Today was a bit of a strange day for me. I started this blog earlier, but wasn’t really sure, or able to find the words. Today, after a day spent sitting with the sadness and unease that fills me, I think I can explain.
I can sum it up by being a day of contemplation once again.
I suppose that’s what happens when things shift in your life and one is faced with the bigger questions in life. What’s the point? What’s my purpose. What is a need and what is a want. (Oh, my Mom would smile at that. She always asked us as kids to stop and consider if our request was a need or a want.) It’s that moment, after deep musings within, that you realize, or perhaps you are reminded, that every day is special. Every day is an opportunity to seize growth and learning and to push a little bit forward. To pause and be thankful for learning opportunities given to us, for without them we are stale, lost in the mundane day-to-day drudgery.
Yes, every day is special. How easily we forget this. And yet, how quickly we are reminded of that when a loved one faces an unnerving surgery.
That’s the moment when pieces of your past fall away and you realize that your present is everything. Every moment is special. And tomorrow, well, tomorrow is a gift. A gift of another opportunity. Another chance to do things better, more lovingly, more soulfully.
Sometimes sitting back and contemplating things is valuable to one’s perspective. Contemplating can (and did) stir up a flood of emotions. (Lost time, lost growth, missed opportunities, etc.) But what perspective it brings about what is most important.
Today - I celebrate that moment. That moment of meditative revelation of what’s most important in my life. And I turn to the universe and share that love out, in the hopes that it will be reflected back upon those I love most a million (or more…is that selfish?) times over.
Moments to dig deeper.
I can sum it up by being a day of contemplation once again.
I suppose that’s what happens when things shift in your life and one is faced with the bigger questions in life. What’s the point? What’s my purpose. What is a need and what is a want. (Oh, my Mom would smile at that. She always asked us as kids to stop and consider if our request was a need or a want.) It’s that moment, after deep musings within, that you realize, or perhaps you are reminded, that every day is special. Every day is an opportunity to seize growth and learning and to push a little bit forward. To pause and be thankful for learning opportunities given to us, for without them we are stale, lost in the mundane day-to-day drudgery.
Yes, every day is special. How easily we forget this. And yet, how quickly we are reminded of that when a loved one faces an unnerving surgery.
That’s the moment when pieces of your past fall away and you realize that your present is everything. Every moment is special. And tomorrow, well, tomorrow is a gift. A gift of another opportunity. Another chance to do things better, more lovingly, more soulfully.
Sometimes sitting back and contemplating things is valuable to one’s perspective. Contemplating can (and did) stir up a flood of emotions. (Lost time, lost growth, missed opportunities, etc.) But what perspective it brings about what is most important.
Today - I celebrate that moment. That moment of meditative revelation of what’s most important in my life. And I turn to the universe and share that love out, in the hopes that it will be reflected back upon those I love most a million (or more…is that selfish?) times over.
Moments to dig deeper.
Moments D381b: Champions & Losers
BTW - yesterday was also a double header for me and I had to share.
I played in my season’s playoffs last night from 6-8pm. We were in first place. We played hard, we played well, and we WON the championship.
And then, I went to the late game to sub in with my baseball team from last year. This team has been placed in the top tier. It shouldn't be. We lost. We lost very, very badly. But, you know, we all had a lot of fun. That’s what matters most, right?
I played in my season’s playoffs last night from 6-8pm. We were in first place. We played hard, we played well, and we WON the championship.
And then, I went to the late game to sub in with my baseball team from last year. This team has been placed in the top tier. It shouldn't be. We lost. We lost very, very badly. But, you know, we all had a lot of fun. That’s what matters most, right?
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Moments D381: Rain Shower
Ah…..spring. I really do love it. I love watching the world around me fill in with green leaves, colourful flowers, and the change in temperature. I even enjoy the crazy temperature changes (from 0 degrees in the morning to 22 degrees in the late afternoon).
Today was one of those delightful spring days. It started off with a rainy spring day. It was a warm spring rain shower. It was light shower and I had no problem enjoying it as I walked from one of our offices to the other.
As I passed the parking lot’s entry way, I glanced out to the sidewalk and street beyond. Walking past the driveway, was a gentleman with his eyes closed and his head tilted to the sky. He was walking slowly. You could tell that he was enjoying every moment of the rain hitting his face.
I smiled. And then I did the same.
Moments being inspired.
Moments enjoying the season and the spring rain shower.
Today was one of those delightful spring days. It started off with a rainy spring day. It was a warm spring rain shower. It was light shower and I had no problem enjoying it as I walked from one of our offices to the other.
As I passed the parking lot’s entry way, I glanced out to the sidewalk and street beyond. Walking past the driveway, was a gentleman with his eyes closed and his head tilted to the sky. He was walking slowly. You could tell that he was enjoying every moment of the rain hitting his face.
I smiled. And then I did the same.
Moments being inspired.
Moments enjoying the season and the spring rain shower.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Moments D380: TML - Bandwagon or Convert?
It’s hockey playoffs. And I’m watching the games. By choice. On my own. ON MY OWN ALONE.
What has happened to me? I’ve never done that before on my own. Now, I’ve watched many a hockey game growing up, after all my brother played hockey, and my parents followed the Junior A & B local teams. But NHL? No, this is not something I do on my own. With friends, from time to time, yes. But on my own? What has happened?
Now, my BFF is a huge Toronto Maple Leafs fan. I’ve been with her for a few games over the past couple of seasons. One particularly fun night not long ago we were four rows away from the ice and players in the ACC. Now that was a night! Honestly, I think she’s been rubbing off on me. After all, her fervor is hard to ignore! She’s the gal that brings her extra TML hat for me to wear. (And wear it I do!)
So, fear not dear readers, I really don’t believe I’m just a bandwagon jumper for the playoffs. I think, oh my, I think I’ve been converted!
Moments accepting I’m impressionable.
Moments of new interests.
What has happened to me? I’ve never done that before on my own. Now, I’ve watched many a hockey game growing up, after all my brother played hockey, and my parents followed the Junior A & B local teams. But NHL? No, this is not something I do on my own. With friends, from time to time, yes. But on my own? What has happened?
Now, my BFF is a huge Toronto Maple Leafs fan. I’ve been with her for a few games over the past couple of seasons. One particularly fun night not long ago we were four rows away from the ice and players in the ACC. Now that was a night! Honestly, I think she’s been rubbing off on me. After all, her fervor is hard to ignore! She’s the gal that brings her extra TML hat for me to wear. (And wear it I do!)
So, fear not dear readers, I really don’t believe I’m just a bandwagon jumper for the playoffs. I think, oh my, I think I’ve been converted!
Moments accepting I’m impressionable.
Moments of new interests.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Moments D379: Stolen Time
There are days when people manage to steal time from my. A ten minute conversation, a drop-in to my office, a request to follow up on some project that isn’t mine to own, an influx of emails to respond to quickly or a task that is handed over to me because I can find answers more quickly. All those minutes add up. Stolen time.
Today I gave quite a bit of thought to stolen time and moments. I’ve had a couple of days where many moments have been stolen and my plans shifted because of those stolen moments. In some cases, those shifted plans were incredible while other moments caused me to fall behind.
As today unfolded, I realized that it was going to be a day I was crunched for time. And yes, I was hyper aware of the time. With much to do and little time to do it, I was mindful of the fact that today could have quickly ramped up to a stressful day. That’s not to say it wasn’t stressful (it was), but it could have been a lot more so.
Instead of going with the flow and dealing with things as they came to me, I took control. I made it clear to everyone in the office that today my door was not open. Today I was not going to have time stolen from me. I set my boundaries and made sure that the one thing I really needed to get done today was accomplished. And though my interruptions were not entirely eliminated they were greatly minimized. Fortunately, it was enough time stolen back to me that I was able to accomplish my task at hand.
Today’s moment, about stolen time, had me thinking. As my Naturopath told me at my last appointment a few weeks back, being mindful is something I need to do more of. I think today was a big step towards that end. Now, I don’t believe I could do this everyday (for I came back to nearly 75 emails!), but some days, I think I have a new “mindful” process.
This also had me thinking about how I might steal time from other people. Do I linger? Do I ask more questions than I should? Do I ask people to do things that I should be doing myself? Do I take time to listen and not just dump my own tasks/problems on others. Do I steal time from people?
I’m sure I do. I think it’s only natural sometimes. At least now I’m more aware of it. Awareness is good. Do you steal time from people?
I think I’m going to have to steal time for myself! I rather enjoyed that.
Moments of growing.
Moments of giving time back.
Today I gave quite a bit of thought to stolen time and moments. I’ve had a couple of days where many moments have been stolen and my plans shifted because of those stolen moments. In some cases, those shifted plans were incredible while other moments caused me to fall behind.
As today unfolded, I realized that it was going to be a day I was crunched for time. And yes, I was hyper aware of the time. With much to do and little time to do it, I was mindful of the fact that today could have quickly ramped up to a stressful day. That’s not to say it wasn’t stressful (it was), but it could have been a lot more so.
Instead of going with the flow and dealing with things as they came to me, I took control. I made it clear to everyone in the office that today my door was not open. Today I was not going to have time stolen from me. I set my boundaries and made sure that the one thing I really needed to get done today was accomplished. And though my interruptions were not entirely eliminated they were greatly minimized. Fortunately, it was enough time stolen back to me that I was able to accomplish my task at hand.
Today’s moment, about stolen time, had me thinking. As my Naturopath told me at my last appointment a few weeks back, being mindful is something I need to do more of. I think today was a big step towards that end. Now, I don’t believe I could do this everyday (for I came back to nearly 75 emails!), but some days, I think I have a new “mindful” process.
This also had me thinking about how I might steal time from other people. Do I linger? Do I ask more questions than I should? Do I ask people to do things that I should be doing myself? Do I take time to listen and not just dump my own tasks/problems on others. Do I steal time from people?
I’m sure I do. I think it’s only natural sometimes. At least now I’m more aware of it. Awareness is good. Do you steal time from people?
I think I’m going to have to steal time for myself! I rather enjoyed that.
Moments of growing.
Moments of giving time back.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Moments D378: Water gun fight
Today was another glorious spring day. Warm and sunny. I even managed to get out of the office today for lunch and to enjoy some of that gloriousness!
But today’s moment is a silly one. A moment that was quick to bring a smile to my face and many childhood memories flooding back. It happened on my way to the dentist this evening - a route I don’t normally take after work.
It was just past rush hour which means traffic wasn’t at a standstill and the moment was fleeting. It happened very quickly and I realize now as I share my words, that it might have been missed completely had I not been paying attention.
As I approached Riverdale I could see two boys running around in their front yard. As I came closer, they had water guns in hand and they were yelling and laughing and running around. It was incredibly fun to watch. And, as I passed by, that moment flooded me with memories of my own brother and I playing with water guns in the yard. The laughter, the running, getting soaked because eventually one of us would go and get the hose. Be damned the little toy gun!
I love those moments.
Moments to enjoy other’s joy.
Moments reminding you of your own.
But today’s moment is a silly one. A moment that was quick to bring a smile to my face and many childhood memories flooding back. It happened on my way to the dentist this evening - a route I don’t normally take after work.
It was just past rush hour which means traffic wasn’t at a standstill and the moment was fleeting. It happened very quickly and I realize now as I share my words, that it might have been missed completely had I not been paying attention.
As I approached Riverdale I could see two boys running around in their front yard. As I came closer, they had water guns in hand and they were yelling and laughing and running around. It was incredibly fun to watch. And, as I passed by, that moment flooded me with memories of my own brother and I playing with water guns in the yard. The laughter, the running, getting soaked because eventually one of us would go and get the hose. Be damned the little toy gun!
I love those moments.
Moments to enjoy other’s joy.
Moments reminding you of your own.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Moments D376: Birthday Kirtan and Blessings for all
Today was an amazing day. I spent the morning puttering around and cleaning up my apartment. It felt good to just lay low. I did have a “to do” list, but I decided, after an unexpected phone call, to put that stuff aside and just enjoy a couple of hours to myself before heading to my friends place for the afternoon and evening.
Little did I know, that this centering of self was to be so relevant!
I knew I was heading to my friends’ house for a birthday celebration for one of my oldest and dearest friends. She is a yoga instructor (YI from here on in) and her husband was going to through her a small party with close friends and her family. My understanding was that it was going to be a surprise for YI.
When I arrived, YI’s cupcakes were sitting out. This evening’s activities were not going to be a surprise after all! That being said, YI seemed very happy and it wasn’t long before I was up to speed: we were going to have a special birthday fire kirtan ceremony to celebrate and bless YI.
Now, I’ve been YI’s fire kirtan’s before, but I’ve always sat in the background and watched as there have often been many attendees who are much more involved with this ceremony and its meaning. Typically there are four seats around the fire. Tonight, it was YI, her husband, the kirtankar and there remained an empty seat. Today, as there were fewer of us, participating, YI heavily suggested that I take the empty seat. How could I refuse the birthday girl her request? And so, I ended up taking that empty seat.
In doing so, I became an intimate participant of this ceremony. I participated in the chanting and building of the fire with herbs and sharing my light and energy more intimately within the circle of this ceremony than any of the others that I’ve attended in the past. And what transpired was a bit surprising to me. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. I was surprised at just how tangible the energy was and just how deeply it connected with me.
Our kirtankar spoke of blessing Rita for her year ahead (and every day moving forward). One of his main points was a discussion on sound and words. I found this quite interesting because I’ve come to very much appreciate words and their purpose in my life over the past 18 months. They are important - vital even to express oneself. But, as our kirtankar noted, sometimes they can really muddle up situations. His analogy started with this idea: ”Words can circle upon themselves. The sounds and feelings they are trying to share are what needs to be communicated. Sounds are vibrations, they resonate deep within us. Sometimes we need to clear our heads of the words, and find the sound to find the truth.”
I thought that was a brilliant moment. For many months I’ve focused on words, and while there were many moments where the words were worthy and fulfilling there were definitely times, especially with challenging days, where words did not suffice. Where words of others were not connecting. Where I couldn’t find the words to share my own thoughts and feelings. So I quickly connected to this idea that words are not enough.
Again, according to our kirtankar, words need to have the sound (energy/vibration) behind them to be meaningful. Far too often people simply throw around words, sometimes without even thinking about them. (And I contemplated situations where this was most obviously the case. Think about the sales rep who asks you how your day was. Are they bored? Do they look genuinely interested? Are they paying attention to your answer? Extrapolate that simple idea to anyone in your circle. Friends, family etc. Is there depth to the words? Can you feel the energy/vibration behind them?)
He had a fantastic analogy that I will bastardize here because I was absorbing the moment more than taking notes. The gist is this: Words are like the vessel and sounds are contained in the vessel. One without the other is not as useful as the work best together. Consider a cup without anything in it. Or water in your hand instead of a cup. Neither work well without the other. In order to properly fill a cup, the energy (sound) needs to be understood.
What I grasped from this small portion of the ceremony is that many people do not really take the time to consider their words. How are those words going to be received? What do those words really mean on a deeper level? What exactly is to be communicated? For the most part, I’d have to agree. Being aware of one’s words, at all times, is not easy. Far too often it’s easier to get caught up in the flood of emotion or excitement and words run away from their purpose. This a lesson I learned over the past year. Do not rush words. (Personally, I’ve never been a fan of rushing words, but I was, on occasion this past year, put in a situation where I had to. Sometimes it worked, other times it was disastrous.)
The point of today’s moment really was not to focus on words and sounds, but the kirtan blessing itself. However, I couldn’t resist sharing the discussion from my kirtankar’s understanding of words and sounds. It fits very well with my own journey these past 18 months. (Amazing moment #1 during this kirtan.)
The rest of the kirtan was incredible. There were many inspirational moments. A 5 year old girl sharing her energy and light by happily putting herbs into the fire. A giggle about YI`s cat having the ability to say “Ma”. Chanting and breathing in and out the energy. It was amazing and I could definitely feel the positive energy in the room.
We, the participants, focused that energy on Rita for the majority of the ceremony. And a surprising thing happened: our kirtankar offered the positive energy back to us in the form of kalava - a red string to be worn until it naturally falls off. (Amazing moment #2 of the kirtan) It’s purpose is to ward of evil and invite positive energy (health, wealth, happiness) to enter into self. It’s deeper purpose: to help one find brahman connecting to one’s “true self”.
I will happily wear my kalava until it falls off. The love in that room tonight was incredibly strong. Finding the energy beyond the words was empowering. I hope that the birthday blessings YI received tonight will follow her beyond this year and throughout the rest of her lifetime.
And one final note on today’s Kirtan gathering: YI’s family that I haven’t seen in a long time were there. Being such an intimate gathering, we were able to really catch up and talk about life. As I was leaving YI’s sister-in-law stopped me and told me how beautiful my energy was and she thanked me for sharing it tonight. I was a lot surprised by this. I thanked her for her kind words and hugged her. I told her I looked forward to our next adventure together. (Amazing moment #3 of the kirtan)
An interesting evening. One filled with many thoughts, emotions and, at times, complete silence and emptiness. I’m so very fortunate to have been such an intimate part of such a deeply spiritual ceremony. I was moved. No doubt about it.
Moments to dive in and experience something new.
Moments of revelation.
Little did I know, that this centering of self was to be so relevant!
I knew I was heading to my friends’ house for a birthday celebration for one of my oldest and dearest friends. She is a yoga instructor (YI from here on in) and her husband was going to through her a small party with close friends and her family. My understanding was that it was going to be a surprise for YI.
When I arrived, YI’s cupcakes were sitting out. This evening’s activities were not going to be a surprise after all! That being said, YI seemed very happy and it wasn’t long before I was up to speed: we were going to have a special birthday fire kirtan ceremony to celebrate and bless YI.
Now, I’ve been YI’s fire kirtan’s before, but I’ve always sat in the background and watched as there have often been many attendees who are much more involved with this ceremony and its meaning. Typically there are four seats around the fire. Tonight, it was YI, her husband, the kirtankar and there remained an empty seat. Today, as there were fewer of us, participating, YI heavily suggested that I take the empty seat. How could I refuse the birthday girl her request? And so, I ended up taking that empty seat.
In doing so, I became an intimate participant of this ceremony. I participated in the chanting and building of the fire with herbs and sharing my light and energy more intimately within the circle of this ceremony than any of the others that I’ve attended in the past. And what transpired was a bit surprising to me. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. I was surprised at just how tangible the energy was and just how deeply it connected with me.
Our kirtankar spoke of blessing Rita for her year ahead (and every day moving forward). One of his main points was a discussion on sound and words. I found this quite interesting because I’ve come to very much appreciate words and their purpose in my life over the past 18 months. They are important - vital even to express oneself. But, as our kirtankar noted, sometimes they can really muddle up situations. His analogy started with this idea: ”Words can circle upon themselves. The sounds and feelings they are trying to share are what needs to be communicated. Sounds are vibrations, they resonate deep within us. Sometimes we need to clear our heads of the words, and find the sound to find the truth.”
I thought that was a brilliant moment. For many months I’ve focused on words, and while there were many moments where the words were worthy and fulfilling there were definitely times, especially with challenging days, where words did not suffice. Where words of others were not connecting. Where I couldn’t find the words to share my own thoughts and feelings. So I quickly connected to this idea that words are not enough.
Again, according to our kirtankar, words need to have the sound (energy/vibration) behind them to be meaningful. Far too often people simply throw around words, sometimes without even thinking about them. (And I contemplated situations where this was most obviously the case. Think about the sales rep who asks you how your day was. Are they bored? Do they look genuinely interested? Are they paying attention to your answer? Extrapolate that simple idea to anyone in your circle. Friends, family etc. Is there depth to the words? Can you feel the energy/vibration behind them?)
He had a fantastic analogy that I will bastardize here because I was absorbing the moment more than taking notes. The gist is this: Words are like the vessel and sounds are contained in the vessel. One without the other is not as useful as the work best together. Consider a cup without anything in it. Or water in your hand instead of a cup. Neither work well without the other. In order to properly fill a cup, the energy (sound) needs to be understood.
What I grasped from this small portion of the ceremony is that many people do not really take the time to consider their words. How are those words going to be received? What do those words really mean on a deeper level? What exactly is to be communicated? For the most part, I’d have to agree. Being aware of one’s words, at all times, is not easy. Far too often it’s easier to get caught up in the flood of emotion or excitement and words run away from their purpose. This a lesson I learned over the past year. Do not rush words. (Personally, I’ve never been a fan of rushing words, but I was, on occasion this past year, put in a situation where I had to. Sometimes it worked, other times it was disastrous.)
The point of today’s moment really was not to focus on words and sounds, but the kirtan blessing itself. However, I couldn’t resist sharing the discussion from my kirtankar’s understanding of words and sounds. It fits very well with my own journey these past 18 months. (Amazing moment #1 during this kirtan.)
The rest of the kirtan was incredible. There were many inspirational moments. A 5 year old girl sharing her energy and light by happily putting herbs into the fire. A giggle about YI`s cat having the ability to say “Ma”. Chanting and breathing in and out the energy. It was amazing and I could definitely feel the positive energy in the room.
We, the participants, focused that energy on Rita for the majority of the ceremony. And a surprising thing happened: our kirtankar offered the positive energy back to us in the form of kalava - a red string to be worn until it naturally falls off. (Amazing moment #2 of the kirtan) It’s purpose is to ward of evil and invite positive energy (health, wealth, happiness) to enter into self. It’s deeper purpose: to help one find brahman connecting to one’s “true self”.
I will happily wear my kalava until it falls off. The love in that room tonight was incredibly strong. Finding the energy beyond the words was empowering. I hope that the birthday blessings YI received tonight will follow her beyond this year and throughout the rest of her lifetime.
And one final note on today’s Kirtan gathering: YI’s family that I haven’t seen in a long time were there. Being such an intimate gathering, we were able to really catch up and talk about life. As I was leaving YI’s sister-in-law stopped me and told me how beautiful my energy was and she thanked me for sharing it tonight. I was a lot surprised by this. I thanked her for her kind words and hugged her. I told her I looked forward to our next adventure together. (Amazing moment #3 of the kirtan)
An interesting evening. One filled with many thoughts, emotions and, at times, complete silence and emptiness. I’m so very fortunate to have been such an intimate part of such a deeply spiritual ceremony. I was moved. No doubt about it.
Moments to dive in and experience something new.
Moments of revelation.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Moments D375: New Neighbourhood Spots
I’ve lived in my neighbourhood for a year and three months. I really haven’t taken a lot of time to explore my new area. I’m not entirely sure why I haven’t ventured out. A part of it would likely be that I spent a lot of time last summer on the beach playing volleyball or on the field playing baseball. There really weren’t many nights that I was home or weekends where I could lazily walk around.
But tonight, a friend and I decided to check out one of the neighbourhood restaurants. So small that it doesn’t have its own website. We were delightfully surprised by Melange. The service was incredibly friendly. The food was delightful. It was obvious that they used fresh, quality ingredients. The chef popped out to make sure that our appetizers were good. He popped out again to check on our mains.
It’s always a lovely surprise when you try a new restaurant that doesn’t look so amazing and it turns out to be just that: AMAZING.
I’ll definitely be back to Melange and I look forward to telling everyone I know just how incredible it was. It also reminds me to get out there and explore my “hood” a little more this coming summer!
Moments taking a risk.
Moments of pleasant surprise and tasty food.
But tonight, a friend and I decided to check out one of the neighbourhood restaurants. So small that it doesn’t have its own website. We were delightfully surprised by Melange. The service was incredibly friendly. The food was delightful. It was obvious that they used fresh, quality ingredients. The chef popped out to make sure that our appetizers were good. He popped out again to check on our mains.
It’s always a lovely surprise when you try a new restaurant that doesn’t look so amazing and it turns out to be just that: AMAZING.
I’ll definitely be back to Melange and I look forward to telling everyone I know just how incredible it was. It also reminds me to get out there and explore my “hood” a little more this coming summer!
Moments taking a risk.
Moments of pleasant surprise and tasty food.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Moments D374: Saved Coffee
Today was an incredible day. It was jam packed with productivity, information, and weather graced us with our first 25 degree, full of sunshine day. AND top all that off with my volleyball team winning the first round of playoffs to hold on to first place for the season. Next week, we’ll take it all! But my special moment happened early this morning.
I didn’t sleep well last night. I woke mid-night and had a hard time falling back to sleep. I re-set my alarm knowing that I’d have to skip my morning workout with the lack of sleep (for the second night in a row!)…..
When I woke, I didn’t feel rushed, and yet I was buzzing around quickly to get off to work quickly. Time seemed to be moving slowly and I was moving quickly. Given my lack of sleep, that’s a good way to start the day.
And then my moment happened. I was out the door, heading to the car with many bags (volleyball gear, lunch, purse) and my coffee travel mug in hand. I quickly realized I didn’t have enough hands to open my passenger door. I mindfully put my travel mug on the roof of my car, thinking to myself “Do not forget your coffee!”. I fussed with my bags, placing everything just so and then I climbed into the car.
As I started the car an adorable elderly gentlemen quickened his very slow pace to reach me before I pulled away. He was pointing, of course, at my roof. I had a good laugh at myself, pulled up my parking brake and jumped out of the car. As I opened my door, the lovely gentleman said “You don’t want to lose your coffee - glad we could save it.” I laughed and agreed quite heartily. I thanked him and we parted ways.
I giggle to myself for being so “mindful” of and then promptly forgetting my coffee.
A good, silly moment and apparently a good way to start the day.
Moments appreciating the kindness of a stranger.
I didn’t sleep well last night. I woke mid-night and had a hard time falling back to sleep. I re-set my alarm knowing that I’d have to skip my morning workout with the lack of sleep (for the second night in a row!)…..
When I woke, I didn’t feel rushed, and yet I was buzzing around quickly to get off to work quickly. Time seemed to be moving slowly and I was moving quickly. Given my lack of sleep, that’s a good way to start the day.
And then my moment happened. I was out the door, heading to the car with many bags (volleyball gear, lunch, purse) and my coffee travel mug in hand. I quickly realized I didn’t have enough hands to open my passenger door. I mindfully put my travel mug on the roof of my car, thinking to myself “Do not forget your coffee!”. I fussed with my bags, placing everything just so and then I climbed into the car.
As I started the car an adorable elderly gentlemen quickened his very slow pace to reach me before I pulled away. He was pointing, of course, at my roof. I had a good laugh at myself, pulled up my parking brake and jumped out of the car. As I opened my door, the lovely gentleman said “You don’t want to lose your coffee - glad we could save it.” I laughed and agreed quite heartily. I thanked him and we parted ways.
I giggle to myself for being so “mindful” of and then promptly forgetting my coffee.
A good, silly moment and apparently a good way to start the day.
Moments appreciating the kindness of a stranger.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Moments D373: Accordions and Monks
Today on our way to the official CONTACT opening at MOCCA this evening three of us from work were stuck in rush hour traffic right in the core of the city. It wasn’t a big deal today because I gave us plenty of time to sit in traffic and still arrive on time for the event. Worst case scenario (and highly unlikely!) was that we arrived a wee bit too early.
While we were sitting on Queen Street, a very, very busy street for both street and sidewalk traffic we saw a most interesting scene.
As we crawled to a stop to allow a couple of emergency vehicles pass, we found ourselves directly in front of an accordion player. She looked sprightly, but her accordion was playing a very sad, melancholic song. The three of us shared that moment, and then as we were commenting on how strange and beautiful the accordion player was, three monks in brown robes walked past between us and the accordion player.
Sometimes you see the strangest of things in the city. It’s spring, the magnolias are in bloom. The accordion players are out on the streets and the monks are strolling along the sidewalk. Of course that’s what happens downtown every day in the spring. Right?
Moments loving the diversity of our city.
Moments enjoying being surprised by the city.
While we were sitting on Queen Street, a very, very busy street for both street and sidewalk traffic we saw a most interesting scene.
As we crawled to a stop to allow a couple of emergency vehicles pass, we found ourselves directly in front of an accordion player. She looked sprightly, but her accordion was playing a very sad, melancholic song. The three of us shared that moment, and then as we were commenting on how strange and beautiful the accordion player was, three monks in brown robes walked past between us and the accordion player.
Sometimes you see the strangest of things in the city. It’s spring, the magnolias are in bloom. The accordion players are out on the streets and the monks are strolling along the sidewalk. Of course that’s what happens downtown every day in the spring. Right?
Moments loving the diversity of our city.
Moments enjoying being surprised by the city.
P.S. Happy MAY!
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