Moments D560: When to push, when to pull

Today's moment is a reflection of boundaries within relationships. The musing that follows is inspired by the fact that this evening I pushed a boundary of EQ's. It was necessary as we hit a strange impasse. This moment, added to the fact that a few of my close relationships have, in the past couple of months, seriously pushed my boundaries, has me reflecting.

Boundaries. When is it okay to push? When should one give space?

Boundaries. When do you grab on tighter? When is it time to let go?

These are not easy questions to answer. Why? Because each relationship is delicate. Each is important to me as I love my people.  In the end, every situation is unique and can, in the long run, affect those delicate relationships. The mere process of analyzing options to dealing with boundaries can be exhausting and, at times, overwhelming.

Often my boundaries are infringed upon, and, for the most part, I allow it, it is my own choice.  This process is further complicated by who I am. I am a bringer of light. The people closest to me have cautioned me of these infringements in the past.  I have always listened with an open mind and heart, but I believe that we all have the potential to be better loving people given enough time, communication and love. Call me naive, but I do. It can be exhausting if there is no energy returned. Today I am ever more aware of this and I've been reacting and growing because of it. I no longer want to own the disappointment or frustration that comes with having my boundaries crossed.  I am going to own my boundaries and allow others to own their actions and choices.  

I know.  It's a heavy moment today.  It's been inspired by odd, head-scratching situations that have cropped up because of serious shifts in energy and by gentle reminders from EQ.  And because of a shared crossed boundary tonight with EQ (and a subsequent discussion about it), I find myself thinking about relationship boundaries. 

What I have come up with is this:  I have been seriously pushing back at relationship boundaries these past couple of months because I believe I have begun to value my own boundaries with a more conscious perspective. It's partially because I have come to a point in my life where I am more aware of others absorbing my light and not mirroring it back. It's also partially EQ's fault, in a good way, because he's easily mirroring back the energy I give him.  In fact, there are times where I feel I am in a deficit situation to him, instead of the role I'm more used to (and comfortable with) of being "owed".  Today, I find myself questioning the silence, the lack of chase, for me and my friendship. So, instead of me chasing and trying to push and fix, as I normally do, I have decided to let go and see just what value I have in those relationships.

After all, as the saying goes:

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were. ~Richard Bach

Moments enjoying the push and pull of relationships.

Moments reasoning with oneself on life choices. 

Moments D399: Consulting

Today’s moment is about me becoming a consultant. I know, right? It’s kind of surprising. And yet, it has officially happened.

To be honest, today wasn’t really my first day of being a consultant (and no, I’m not being cheeky about my ability to assist others in life; being a flashlight of sorts or course). Officially my first day that would have been a couple days ago when I signed a non-disclosure agreement and had my first business discussion with an old volleyball team mate of mine. But that being said, today was the day that I was introduced to the rest (well, most of..) of the team. I was asked to share “me” with the team and that was kind of exciting. This first test of introducing myself to the team went really well. Admittedly, I wasn’t quite ready for that request from the new business owner, however that being said I think I did thank of job of doing so. And, if I might take a moment to ring my own bell, I think I sounded pretty good. I managed to surprised myself while I was speaking about my relationship to the business owner, my history and experience and of course my accomplishments and my offerings to this start-up company team. My many years of working in an office, from my basic organizational and admin skills to my innate ability to build relationships with a marketing eye has finally paid off. I realize now that I have some serious tools to offer a start-up company. That being said, I must admit, I’m a still a little nervous! I hope I’ll be a worthwhile investment for this team.

At this point in time I can’t really share what type of new opportunity I am consulting for, but I can say that it is rather exciting and the creator of this company is vibrant, excited, full of energy, and definitely full of motivation to succeed there’s certainly no no better combination than those qualities.

Today’s moment is about celebrating my tools and insights to offer within the marketing and sales segment of the world of business..

Moments to reflect upon self and ones ability to contribute.

Moments feeling part of a team.

Moments D366: Full moon , Partial Eclipse

Today was the full moon.   Not only was out a full moon,  it was partially eclipsed today. Its significance I shared via a link earlier today. 

I was happily surprised with the cleansing energies of this full moon.   It was exactly what I needed.   I took the time to be present when the moon became full.   I shared that moment with my best friends…also old souls.   Together and apart we soaked in those recharging energies.  This amazing,  centering energy will surely wash away the destructive forces that have been in my life.  This means I will be able to continue to shine… For others , with others and most importantly for myself.

This flashlight is recharged and ready to shine.

Moments with a beautiful moon.  

Moments with beautiful people and energy to share.

Moments D183: Flashlights

I know, I know. It sounds kinda crazy that today's special moment is because of a flashlight. But hear me out and you'll (hopefully) see the light.

(Sorry I couldn't help myself!)

When I was first inspired to dig deeper and push beyond the emotional boundaries that I found myself surrounded in (due to an unhealthy marriage) I felt this internal stirring about being a light. And, months ago, in the very beginning of this process of sharing my moments with the public I had had a couple of deep discussions with people close to me. I'm sure if I was labeled or I ended up self-labeling after the discussions, but the term of endearment was I'm a "fucking flashlight". (Please pardon the profanity, but that's verbatim.)

So what the heck does that mean? Let's see if I can summarize this for you....

Well, for me it feels like most of my life my purpose in others' lives is to help shine light upon them. To find the positive. To help them seek out paths that will be more fulfilling to them. Mostly I listen, reflect and shine light in areas that they may not have considered before. This may sound egotistical, but honestly, I have a knack for it. It's not to say it's perfect or easy all the time. (After all, sometimes people don't want light shone upon them!) But in that regard, I'm a "fucking flashlight".

So with that in mind, today was one of those days that affirmed this silly label of mine.

Yesterday I had a meeting with one of my MFRs. He is a gentle and kind soul and someone, who after having an heart attack recently, is feeling as though he's having a midlife crisis. I listened and reflected back my experience with life changing moments. My struggles with my marriage and my realization that having a good, content life wasn't enough. That I wanted happiness and joy and light in my life. Is that a midlife crisis because I left the world of safe and secure behind? I didn't think so.

For me, it's about evolving and being better versions of ourselves and recognizing what is holding us back. We all have the potential to shine a little brighter. He seemed quite moved by the sharing of thoughts and noted that he was going to think more upon my perspective that he felt enlightened. We laughed and said our good-byes.

And then, this morning, I received an email from this gentlemen as a follow up to our meeting. The first line: "It was great to chat with you yesterday too.....enlightening!"

I smiled. He actually meant it. It was in black and white now. My job as a flashlight successful.

Moments to shine light.

Moments to evolve.