Moments D282: Quiet moments chatting

Today was a day of shopping with the family. We had a late start and finished out the day strong. A couple new bling pieces for the belly button, a couple of (ironically) new warm Columbia sweaters and we were done for the day.

Though the day was filled with many laughs, the best moment was when everyone else was busy getting ready for dinner and my Aunt & I were alone in the living room just chatting and catching up. In those brief 15-20 minutes we touched upon many a topic. Some were worrisome, others were simply a sharing of stories over the past couple of months. All the words shared help to remind me of the things that were most important to me.

The story that I most connected with me was about my niece. It reminded me that it’s never okay to settle, but it is okay to explore. It also reminded me that it’s okay to fight for more and it’s normal to expect more when you aren’t happy. I know it sounds simple, but sometimes it’s not. Sometimes we get bogged down into the mundane and we settle. We settle because we’re comfortable. It’s easier to accept less and remain comfortable. This is never a good recipe for a happy life path.

Moments to remember who we are.

Moments with your family reminding you.

Moments D281: Lazy Bones

Today was the laziest day I've had in years as 90% of my day was further laying down or eating & drinking. Brilliant. Exactly what vacations are for. Detox & revitalization.

So lazy, that this is all I write tonight! I loved my lazy, lazy moments today.

Moments 280: Singing Stewardess & Moon rise

Today was an incredible day. After a 2hr drive in torrential rains (yes in the middle of winter!) I was finally on vacation. As I drove through the spectacular rain storm, I really thought things experience would be my moment. After all it was beautiful and, at times, frightening.

But this wasn't the moment of the day.

On our flight from Buffalo to Baltimore, we made a new friend with the lady in the window seat. She was lovely, insightful and overall quite pleasant to chat with. I thought her stories might be the moment of the day. But I was wrong.

When we were preparing to leave Baltimore for Florida the unexpected happened. One of the stewardesses introduced a soon-to-be-married couple. After the introduction, she asked us to listen up as the soon-to-be-groom had something to share with us about his bride-to-be. Three next thing I knew. .. the stewardess began to sing From This Moment. What an incredible voice she had too! I was thoroughly impressed. It brought a tear to my eye and a warmth to my heart. First because this stewardess sang the whole sing and did so with such passion. Secondly, because of the groom's request to share his feelings with us. Beautiful.

Then shortly after we were in the air, we watched the moon rise. How incredibly spectacular. As we banked away from its grande finale, I paused and just made a note to myself about how fortunate I was to have been able to experience these two magical moments back-to-back.

Today was about unexpected moments. I loved them all, but these most of all.

Moments D279: Customer service with a smile

Today I had the best customer service ever and it totally made my day!

When I arrived at work this morning I saw that I already had a voicemail. It seemed strange to have a voicemail already, so it was the first thing I did when I sat down: I checked my voicemail.

Low and behold it was a message from my dentist's office. It was from my favourite hygienist in fact. She had called to tell me that she was taking some vacation time when I was next scheduled in to see her. (In March, quite some time from now! )She went on to comment on how much she knew I would want to see her and suggested alternative dates for me.

It was such a lovely gesture. I've been seeing her for over 6 years now and she didn't want me to show up and not see her. I loved the personal touch!

Moments taking care of your clients/customers. It is the little things that matter most and that which sparks word-of-mouth sharing of stories.

Moments being pleasantly surprised.

Moments D278: Bedtime

Today was a constant running kinda day. I got up early I was shopping for a few things that I needed for my coming trip then I hit my homework.

Between homework, phone calls, lunch and doing laundry I quickly found the day had come and gone.

I skipped dinner as i really wasn't all that hungry. Instead, I popped out to see my girlfriend and pick up my ghetto blaster from our New Year’s Eve party. It was a quick visit...i just dropped off keys and picked up my ghetto... then I was back home working on homework yet again.

By the time I was finished it was 1130 p.m. and I was knackered. But I wasn’t done yet! I pull together some stuff for my trip and then I made myself something to eat.

Once settled with some food I decided to watch some TV. Before I knew it it was 230 in the morning! I had missed my bedtime!

And so by the time I put my head to pillow I so very ready for it. SO VERY READY.

It was that moment where I finally put my head to my pillow that I enjoyed most. It was simply delicious!

I smiled as I let the exhaustion wash over me. Best moment of my day!

Moments D277: DOCs & Soundgarden

Today was a slow start and not nearly as productive as I needed it to be (I’m sorry tomorrow, you are going to be a little more crammed now because of this!), but even so it was a good day and this evening ROCKED.

Literally!

My BFF and I went to see Soundgarden tonight at the Sound Academy. We were about to leave my place when she noted my footware and suggested that I go get my DOCs. Damn. I haven’t worn my DOCs in (ahem) over a decade. Hell, I thought to myself, why not. If not at a Soundgarden concert, when would I dust those maroon bad boys off? I smiled the entire time it took me to lace them up properly. The memories that flooded to me. Incredible really. I was 15 years younger all of a sudden!

It wasn’t long before we found ourselves in the Sound Academy. It’s a smaller venue and it was crammed with people tonight! I swear it was a sea of six-foot-something guys for I barely saw the stage for the entire concert! No matter, though as the SOUND at this venue is amazing and Soundgarden did not disappoint. Chris Cornell sounds incredible live as do his band mates. Such an incredible concert. Bravo.

So today’s moment, enjoying a blast from the past. Both my fun, well-worn, well-loved DOCs and one of my favourite bands from decades ago.

Easy to dance and sing up a storm with these guys!

Moments D276: Winterlicious in the Snow

Tonight was such a lovely night. It started out with a couple of drinks after work with deep conversation. That was followed by an adventure out to one of the Winterlicious restaurants: Bodega 

Now, the restaurant itself was quaint, as is the area that it is. The staff were a little mopy (really, it’s the only honest way to describe them) and the food was a little unimaginative and not overly impressive. My favourite dish was the heirloom tomato and feta salad. That was simple and you could taste that the ingredients were fresh, but there was nothing that made it unique. But I digress, for today’s moment wasn’t about the food, nor was it about the restaurant, but if you are thinking about visiting Bodega, I’d suggest you save your coin for somewhere else. There are too many other unique, friendly restaurants in the city for Bodega to take up your time!

No, tonight was about the company, the conversation and about the pretty snowfall. Yes, we nearly didn’t make it to dinner because of the snow. Ha! The irony. Not making one’s reservation to Winterlicious because of a snowfall!

As we first sat, it was all I could do to peel myself away from the prettiness of the snowfall just outside the window. Here I was in the middle of a very busy restaurant, watching the beauty outside. Shortly after being seated my red wine arrived and the picture was complete. Inside, warm, in a bustling restaurant watching the peace and quiet of snow fall outside. It was a perfect moment for me.

Moments engaged in conversation and being present, but also being somewhat separated and aware of the quiet beyond.

Moments D274: Oars

Yes, you read correctly. Oars.

Today’s moment happened while I was at volleyball. We have been playing at this school since September. Every Thursday. You would think that I would have noticed the oars sooner. But, it is all about the timing.

Today when I left to fill up my water bottle, I found myself locked out of the gym. I had to walk around the big school hallways to get to the front doors again.

It was on this little jaunt that I noticed them. There 8, maybe 10 oars hanging up near the ceiling. They were vertical and each had an inspirational word painted on it. Empathy; Honesty; Honour; Courage…

It made me smile. It was a simple moment, but one that caught me by surprise. I really love those moments most.

Moments D273: Cold outside, warm within

Today was the coldest day in the past two years.   A brisk -21 degrees Celsius.   A mere -27C with the wind chill.   Not bad at all for a winter’s day.

As I brushed my car off this morning from the evening’ s dusting of snow,  I realized I was smiling and enjoying the briskness.  My jeans were crisp,  my breath was coming out of me in a billow of mist and my nose hairs were tickling me.  I was smiling.

Yesterday a work colleague suggested he might have been a husky in a previous life.  We discussed the intricacies about why and how that seemed to be the case.  I realized this morning that *I* could have been a husky in a previous life too.  I was loving the cold.

On my commute, I saw a couple of things that made me smile. … each having to do with the cold morning.   Each brought a warmth to my heart. The first was a gentleman brushing off his truck.   He was a tough guy layered with a couple of warm sweater/jackets.   They weren't done up though, after all  tough guys don’t need to do up their jackets. Nor was he wearing any gloves.   As I slowed for the red light we made eye contact.   I smiled and he gave me a sheepish grin and shrugged holding up his hands, as if admitting he was silly to be dressed as he was.   I laughed and promised myself that this was a sign of a good day to come.

A little further into my commute I saw a Mom stop pulling the wagon behind her to check on the toddler bundled up in its bed.  They snuggled faces for a brief moment, then she fussed with the toddler’s hat and blankets, she Eskimo kissed the child and turned to start pulling the wagon again.   It was a beautiful moment to watch.

As cold as it was, I was warmed from within today. Many times over.  As it began, the warm moments collected throughout the day bringing me inner warmth.  A kind email, a deep discussion with my fellow “husky” co-worker, a delightful lunch out with an industry colleague, an afternoon phone call with my “other hand” why is currently fighting the flu….. the list goes on.  Yes,  today there was much warmth being shared.  So much so,  that I never felt the coldest day of the past two years.

Moments watching others from afar.

Moments appreciating people close to you.

Moments D272: A quiet night in

Today I’m enjoying a quiet night to myself.   I was supposed to go out for drinks with a work friend.  Unfortunately he wasn’t feeling well enough to go out,  so I picked up some inner healthy groceries (baby kale, sprouts, tempeh, and cherry tomatoes), then headed home.

I spent the first three hours updating my computer.   Not glamorous, but necessary.  Now I’m at up with Malware and fresh anti-virus.   I’ve also managed to get my online benefits set up.  And then I just hung out o  the couch with my kitty. I'm finally caught up on a couple of my old shows.   Huh. 

Productive quiet night. My moment today was just enjoying the quiet.   Puttering.   Being productive.   So outside the “norm” for me.  And tomorrow I get to do it all over again tomorrow.  I might even get my homework done early.

Moments D271: Random Calls

Have you ever had one of those days where you just wished you stayed in bed? Today, a challenging day from start to finish was mercifully broken up by a random call from many time zones away. It was a short conversation, but it was a moment that brought sunshine on a cloudy day. One that I very much appreciated.

Moments dreaming.

Moments appreciating a kind sentiment.

Moments D270: Piano Man

This afternoon I went to an old theatre that has recently been revived to see Skyfall. It’s a cute little theatre, not the mega big screens that we are all used to now, but being quaint and older seemed to best fit a BOND movie.

The movie itself was good. Not awesome, not horrible. Still, I enjoyed it.

But the moment comes from after the movie as my girlfriend and I were leaving. There was a sitting area just off to the right of the theatres. In that area were bistro tables, chairs, and of all things an old stand up piano. Like the ones you would see in an old Western movie. Like this one: 

It reminded me of the one I used to play on as a child. Upon the piano was a sign: ”If you know how to play the piano, please feel free to play for a short time to entertain our guests”. How fortunate for us that there was a man playing for us when we left our show.

He was very good. He moved from one piece directly into another. He very much knew what he was doing and you could tell that he was very much into it. While I waited for my girlfriend returned from the loo, I sat and quietly soaked in the melodic sounds of piano floating in the air. It was a beautiful moment. I think I could have (perhaps I should have) sat there longer had my homework not been calling me.

Moments enjoying random acts of another’s art.

Moments where you close your eyes and you are whisked away to another time.

Moments D269: Team Tim's

Yesterday’s post was a little heavy so I decided to lighten up today’s with a “smile-moment”.

On my way home this morning I stopped at a Tim Horton’s for a coffee. It was busy, even though it was just past noon.

As I waited for my coffee, a couple of families came into the restaurant. There were 4 little guys all dressed up in their hockey gear. I couldn’t tell if they were coming or going to the hockey arena, but it didn’t much matter. Just the fact that they were in Tim’s all dressed up that way made me smile.

Why? Well, their red shirts had a big ‘ol TIM HORTONS plaster across the front of them. Yup. They were a Tim Horton’s sponsored hockey team.

Moments a commercial could be made in.

Moments of real life happening around you.

Moments D268: Perspective

Recently I've had a few instances where my perspective of the world around me shifted in an instant. Today was another one of those days and I will share this moment with you because I think it’s worth remembering and considering the next time I'm feeling sorry for myself.

A dear friend of mine has had a particularly challenging year. From a near separation (they reconciled) to a new home, tons of renovations and close family health issues, it’s been an incredibly stressful year and a half for her and her hubby.

Now she’s a warrior this one. Always fighting through, but typically finding time to have a peaceful moment for herself. This past year, however, pushed her beyond her limits. We all have a breaking point and she found hers, the hard way.

She hospitalized herself. Exhaustion and depression. The fact that she was strong enough and aware enough to make that call, is something that I’m very proud of her for doing. Mental health is something that isn’t spoken about openly and there are a lot of stigmas attached. And yet, she knew she was beyond her limit and that she needed help.

That’s the back story. This happened over a month ago. I haven’t seen my girlfriend for nearly 7 months due to my own crazy life and pressures I put upon myself. I was busy with volleyball and baseball and anything that kept me, well, busy. And I knew they were busy with renovations and simply assumed we would reconnect in the late fall as we typically do. How wrong I was!

Today, I finally re-connected with my dear friend and her family. I spent the night so we could completely catch up - on both sides. She suggested that I go first, that I share with her what has happened in my life over the past 7 months and to explain the recently busted phone of mine. And so, I started at the end of the year and worked my way backwards in time.

What I realized as I shared my story is that none of it mattered when compared to what she had gone through in the same time period. Sure, I was stressed. Sure, I was emotional. I had many ups and I also had many difficult dark days in the past 7 months. But none of it compared to where I knew she ended up. It all seemed so trivial as I was sharing the events of my 7 months.

And it’s moments like these that force me to pause and reflect upon perspective. From my perspective alone, 2012 was a challenging year as I fought to find myself and get my feet under me again, with a few obstacles in the path of getting there. But I’m strong, healthy and I’m surrounded by a group of the best, most loving, supportive friends (and family) that a person could ask for. Even in my darkest moment, I had someone to lean on.

My girlfriend, on the other hand, found herself buried beneath the burdens of life. She wasn’t able to find the light without getting professional help. The stress she felt was beyond anything she’s ever dealt with before and she kept it all to herself until she couldn’t bear it any longer.

I guess my point is two-fold:

First, there is always someone else struggling a little harder than you are. (Sometimes a lot harder than you are!) This is a fact that should bring some solace because, if anything, it helps one to not feel alone in the struggles of life.

Secondly, we are NOT alone. Each of us have our own support system of some sort. Some may have many in their circle, while others may only have a couple of key people. But there is always someone to lean on. BUT, if we don’t ask for help, if we don’t lean when necessary, then it’s so much easier to fall into that pit. I can’t stress enough how important it is to share and ask for help when needed. (And believe me, this isn’t easy for me either!)

So, today’s moment: Perspective. I hope that I remember the next time I’m feeling down that I remember this moment because in the end, I’m actually quite fortunate, even on the darkest of days.

Moments D267: Wagging Dog Tails

On my way to volleyball tonight I saw a 4×4 stopped at a light. As I drew nearer I could see that there was a small dog in the vehicle. This puppy was darn excited. He was bouncing back and forth between the back seat and the driver’s seat. (Not the safest thing for the pup, but I digress.)

And that darn dog was so very happy. His tail was wagging so hard that his whole little body shook. It was completely adorable! I instantly broke into a huge smile that stayed with me for the rest of my drive.

Moments with animals.

Moments from a distance.

Moments D266: Singing and skipping Dad

Today was a very productive day.  A workout first thing, into work early,  a chiropractic/acupuncture appointment for lunch, then late to leave.  The productivity continued tonight with a homemade dinner and some homework.  A perfectly productive day.


But the most interesting moment today was watching a father walk his son & daughter to school.   The cute part was that he was singing and skipping with them and every third beat they did a little hop.   It was so much fun to watch while I was sitting in rush hour traffic.

Moments enjoying others enjoying themselves.

Moments to skip and sing.

Moments D265: Diving In

Tonight I picked up my car (a day earlier than expected) and then met up with an ex-staff member of mine for dinner. I often thing of this creative soul fondly. He’s a brilliant artist (music, painting, drawing, graphic design) and my company was lucky to have had his inspiring thoughts around us for a long as we did.

He holds a special spot in my heart. Not only because of his brilliance and our shared perspective on life, but because he was the first to ever introduce me to anyone as his boss. That day is firmly etched in my brain.

A group of us from work had gone to see his band play. He introduced me to his girlfriend and his band mates. I was flattered and uncomfortable all at the same time as my own role with our company had only recently shifted. It was strange to be considered as anyone’s boss.

That was ages ago.

Now, he’s moved up the ladder with his skill set and his ambition takes him back to school for graduate studies. His eagerness to learn and his drive for perfection has never been lost on me. I was always proud of him even when he doubted (and still does) himself.

I was barely in the restaurant for 2 minutes and we literally dove into life and deep questions. I think my first question was “Are you done with your application?” Good! ”How are you and how’s your girlfriend.” And we were off and running. It’s been a long time since we’ve had an opportunity to speak to each other without being rushed. Before either of us knew, hours had passed.

We managed to touch upon the depth of relationships. True love versus contentment. Defining happiness (as if we really could!) The idea of wanting to be alone, but also wanting someone to push through that stubbornness in times of need to just hold you when you need it. (But don’t ever tell us it will be “okay”, when you don’t know it will be.)

We spoke of career paths and path changing decisions in life and then we dove in deeper and spoke of Christopher Hitchens and mortality and family. Then we laughed and realized just how deep we had gone!

Sometimes there are people in your life that you may not see for months, possibly years at a time. But when you reconnect, it’s like you’ve never parted. This creative soul is one of the few that fall into that world for me. Never a moment of pause, never grasping for conversation, just an ebb and flow of information shared.

As much as I know I’ve helped to influence this once green artist and career man, I hope he realizes just how much his perspective on life has influenced me as well. We may be decades apart in age, and lifetimes apart in experience, but we have this common perspective on life. It’s interesting and something that inspires both ways.

So today’s moment: Dive in. Why not? Life is short not to ask the deep questions.

Moments D264: Are you really home?

Today was a pretty uneventful day. Productive and quiet at work and home early after being dropped off by a friend as my own car was in the shop. (It was weird to know that I was without my car!)

I made myself dinner. I watched some TV while eating dinner, then I dove into my homework for the week. Huh. A very quiet night at home. No distractions. It was kinda nice.

And then, the phone rang. It was my Mom, or Dad, or likely both as they like to be on the phone together with me. I answered on the second ring. I said hello. There was a long pause and then my Dad said, “Really? Are you home? I thought I had the answering machine!” I'm not even certain if he was joking or not!

We had a good laugh. It was simple, but it was a nice moment. I kinda like being caught off guard like that. It’s not something I was expecting!

Moments with family.

Moments of surprise words.

Moments D263: A loss, but a win

I had a late start today after a late (fun) night out. I spent the late morning and early afternoon being incredibly lazy. Then again, I did catch up on a couple of my TV shows, so it was a wee bit productive. (Okay, that’s a loose definition of productive! I know, I know!)

By late afternoon I got myself ready and headed out to see my nephew play hockey. This year he’s playing out of the net (he was goalie last year!). And he’s good, for an 8 year old! It was exciting to watch him play. It was even more warming to talk to him about his game afterward.

His team lost. It was 4-0. But he wasn’t upset by the loss, no for him he was excited by his near goal and the fact that he’s so good at rebounds.

I was so warmed by the perspective. They lost, but he had fun and he focused on the good. I was proud of my nephew in that moment. I hope he will take that outlook with him in all aspects of his life. More of us, in life, should find ways to better accept the loss and find a win within it.

Life isn’t always about winning outright. It’s about working within what you have or where you find yourself. Even in a loss situation, there are moments that bring light, learning and evolution to a soul.

Moments with family.

Moments with the bigger picture.

Moments D262: Panic & Calm

Today was our staff appreciation party. It’s always a fun time and it’s great to see your co-workers all dressed up. (Yes, some of them clean up quite well!) It was a really fantastic evening with some wonderful people.

But today’s moment is about the wee adventure I had before heading to the party. It was a pre-party in Pickering and I was taking the GO train out there and getting picked up at the GO station.

Now, I’m not sure why I was so nervous about this trek, but there’s no doubt that I was. First, I didn’t want to walk to the GO station (only 8 min away) in my heals. Secondly, I really didn’t want to walk to the GO station at all. Not in my well-fitted dress. Not with my jewelry on. It made me nervous!

I did what I always do when I get nervous about something. I planned. I looked up the GO station to find out exactly where it was and how I would get to it. I made sure that I was there 10 minutes before the train was to arrive. I left my rings in my pocket, wore flat shoes for walking and I was covered from neck to knee hoping that would bring me some comfort.

And, for the most part it did. I was still nervous, but less so. And then, with ticket in hand waiting for the train to arrive, I stopped, giggled at myself for being so silly and unzipped my coat to enjoy the warm 9C degree weather. I let the calm settle over me as the train arrived. I spent the 10 minute ride meditating on having a great night and just finding my centre again.

Moments to plan and prepare for.

Moments to laugh at self.

Moments D261: Push harder

Tonight I took some time for myself. All by myself. It was productive and lazy and quiet and absolutely what I needed. My moment today stems from being in this place of me. I was home alone and unplugged from the world and I was perfectly content to be in that space.

The first thing I decided to do was get a workout in. I’ve been bad/lazy as of late. Too many gatherings, outings and distractions for me to keep any real schedule. I realized it’s time to get back to something, lest I find myself 40lbs heavier again. And so, I put in one of my favourite workout DVDs and off I went.

And not 10 minutes into the program I realized I have been too lazy. Too lazy indeed. I was already feeling it! It reminded me that when we get lax about things, pieces of what you’ve worked towards fall to the wayside. This is not what I wanted. No way! And so, I pushed a little harder through the pain. With every step, with every lunge, I promised myself I would get back into shape and into a routine to maintain that.

Moments for self.

Moments for health and fitness.

Moments D260: Pretty Things

Today I was up earlier than I have been in weeks and commuted to work in just under an hour. All a little out of the ordinary for me and my schedule. And yet, the drive wasn’t completely unbearable (at least it was moving the entire time) and the sun’s rays were unfolding the darkness of night just as I hit the highway. It was pretty.

And who doesn’t love pretty things?

When I finally rolled into work I was early. Bonus. I had a lot to accomplish today. But before I dove in, I checked my personal email. I had this beautiful email from a kindred spirit. The words were like a warm blanket….sitting watching a fire and pondering life. It was a perfect way to breathe before diving into a busy chaotic day. Also included was a song. Piano. My favourite instrument. Pretty Things. So very lovely and warm. Yes. A perfect way to start one’s day.

I appreciated those pretty things. The sun peaking into the sky. Friends reaching out with warm words and hugs from afar.

Moments appreciating my circles.

Moments with a warm blanket sitting fireside.

Moments D259: Lost and Found

Today I met up with my one of my besties. I haven’t seen her in quite some time. Our lives got in the way. Our lack of words got in the way. And frankly we were a bit lost between us.

But today’s moment was about being found again. We found our words. We reconnected. We found the light in a dark time (as we both have much on our plate) and we cleared away the cobwebs to reveal the sparkle below.

That was my moment. Seeing my girlfriend smile and know that all was right with the world again. I had really missed her and though I’ve told her in the past two months that I’ve missed her, neither of us had the time to connect. It was good to reconnect and celebrate a belated Christmas & New Year’s.

Moments with friends to catchup and clear up.

Moments appreciating how you are lucky to have such incredible friends.

Moments D258: Cheerleader

Today I was a cheerleader, not once, but twice. Each moment was important to another. However, that being said, each of moments were as unique from one another as it could possibly be.

The first moment: being there for a friend who experienced a traumatic death of a pet. It wasn’t about being a cheerleader in the common sense of it. But the similarity is there. It was about reminding him how much he loved his cat. How spoiled she was. I was there. I supported and I coaxed out the words and the emotion to help the grieving process. A solemn cheerleader perhaps, but positive, loving and supportive words shared with my grieving friend.

A then, at the end of the day, I found myself cheering on a playoff series of billiards. This time a true cheerleader with boisterous positive, loving and supportive words.

It was strange to note the similarities between the two moments, after all they are quite disparate from one another. And so today’s moment is about that realization. That one can be a cheerleader in many situations.

Moments to support a grieving friend.

Moments to support a group of friends in playoffs.

Moments D257: Grandma's Body wash

Yup. That’s right. You read correctly. I know it sounds odd, but bear with me.

Two years ago in November my Grandmother passed away. The Christmas prior, she gave me a bag full of goodies. One of those goodies was a perfumed body wash from Yves Rocher - Ming Shu. (Also included was body lotion and the perfume itself.)

Now, I don’t particularly like the smell of the perfume which is part of the reason that I still have the body wash. Every now and then I like to use it. This morning was one of those days. I’m not sure what inspired me to grab that particular bottle this morning, but what followed was a bit of an epiphany.

As I squeezed the bottle, I realized that I had had this bottle for over three years. And as that thought crossed my mind, I considered why. Why was it that I held onto this bottle? I didn’t like the perfume. I certainly didn’t need more body wash. I wasn’t even particularly close with my Grandma, so there really isn’t any sentimental value to it being in my possession.

And as those thoughts crossed my mind, I sent a silent prayer to Grandma wishing her well and asking her to watch over my family. I reminded her that my Mom loved her (even though they weren’t close either) and we all hoped she was in a much better place. And then, the moment passed. I was back into my normal morning routine.

For me, it reminded me that life is short. That every day needs to be respected and considered a new canvas to paint upon. We build our days. Our days build our weeks and our weeks fill up months and years. EACH day and more importantly, each step matters.

And so, today I’m reminded, by my Grandmother’s three year old body wash, that time is short, love is endless, and sharing light is my ultimate goal. I will keep that bottle for some time to come. I think it will serve as a good reminder now of just how important it is to greet every day with a fresh eye.

Moments to thank our ancestors.

Moments to be reminded of the importance of today.

Apologies!

My apologies for the delayed upload of my daily blog.  I've been very busy as the New Year came in.  But I've made notes along the way and now I can add them all!

Happy New Year dear readers!

Moments D256: Wolf Spirit

Today I am in the Haliburton forest. It’s beautiful. Quiet. Soul recharging.

I’m also with my best friend. She’s an amazing soul just coming out of her own flames of 2012 and while her transformation is on-going, she’s come so veryvery far. I look upon the challenges she has faced in this past year and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Her perseverance inspires me and helps me to believe that I too can find that strength.

A little back story: My girlfriend loves wolves. She has for as long as I've known her. It’s no wonder she fell in love with the Haliburton forest as there is a wolf centre there. A research centre, it plays home to nine wolves. Not quite wild, but definitely not tame as they roam a 15 acres area.

New Years Day vandals cut the fences surrounding the compound. Four of the nine wolves left the compound. One of those poor souls was shot by a poacher. It’s terrible news in a small wolf-loving community. The race is on to bring the wolves home and every day that passes makes the dream of a reunited pack seem ever more distant.

But the point of this back story is to share my moment of the day with some perspective. Today we awoke earlier as we were considering a morning of snowshoeing. Instead, we were a bit lazy and leisurely enjoyed our coffees before finishing up some laundry. Laundry is in the basement. But in this home one needs to go outside to get to the basement. This meant putting on your boots and parka and trekking down the outdoor stairs.

Thank goodness for this oddity! For had we not trekked outside early in the morning, we wouldn’t have see the WOLVES tracks. There were two sets of tracks quietly being dusted over with the fresh snowfall. They came down the driveway. Stopped and explored my car, then my friends car. It looked as though one set of tracks went clockwise around the house and the other went counter-clockwise around the house.

This was a VERY special moment. The elation that my girlfriend received from the knowledge that the wolves not only visited her home, but circled it and explored it affected her deeply. The circling of the wolves seemed to signify that we had been included into their pack.

This energy comes off of yesterday, where the original vandalism story was shared and a new friend who feels he is “Man of Wolf” entered our lives. He included us in HIS pack. Given that my girlfriend and I had been inducted into his pack, why couldn’t we have been “circled” into this wolf pack as well!

Either way, whatever you believe, there was no denying that over the past two days there was a heavy wolf spirit around us. For me, it was eye-opening and an experience I’ll never forget. For my friend, I think she found home.

Moments of exploring totems and spirit guides.

Moments of watching a friend find her path.

Moments D255: Kindred Spirits

Today I spent the day with my best friend. We woke up late (I later than her...and later than I have in many, many moons. I guess I needed a sleep in!) and then we lounged around with our nachos for brunch. Yes. That's right. We each had our own plate of nachos for brunch. We sat, cross legged, facing each other on the couch as we ate our nachos.

It was in that moment that I felt my kindred spirit was sitting in front of me. We haven't seen each other in 6 months and yet, it's like we hadn't missed a step in time. We talk often, but it's not the same as sitting across from each other. And in that special moment we shared laughter, we shared tears and we shared the beauty of a fresh snowfall.

Later that day we shared a the company of a new friend and I could tell that he is a kindred spirit to my friend. I enjoyed watching the exchange of words and energy. And later just the two of us celebrated a Belated Christmas dinner. (Cranberry sauce and all).

It was a day filled with love and light washing away the darkness of difficult stories shared. A day of new hope. A day of reflection. A day with a kindred spirit.

Moments of understanding the importance of the person sitting in front of you.

Moments with deeper meaning.

Moments D254: Stay Calm & Persevere

Today was a non-day. Nothing spectacular happened this morning, nor all day at work (other than getting a lot of work done as it is quiet in the office at the moment!). And then, I began my trek North for a weekend with my girlfriend and everything shifted. This drive was a beautiful moment for two reasons.

First: I had four hours in the car driving by myself. I had four hours to reflect upon the year behind me and the opportunities I have ahead of me. I had four hours to mourn the year’s losses. I had four hours to celebrate the year’s wins. I had four hours to really understand all that has happened to me over the past year. Talk about cathartic.

Secondly: I had a scary adventure about 20 minutes before arriving at my destination. I managed to get stuck; on a side-road; going uphill; around a corner; that wasn’t plowed; without cell service. Yes. That’s right. Re-read that. Stuck; on a side-road; going uphill; around a corner; that wasn’t plowed; without cell service.

How you ask? I lost momentum climbing a particularly icy/snowy hill after driving into some snow that wasn’t packed down. I started to slip backwards down the hill in my car. Instead of panicking, I put the car into reverse and tried to navigate the Northern blackness of night down the hill and around a corner. Huh. Not so easy when you can’t see 10 feet behind you. So, on the way down (to a point where I figured I could gather enough momentum to get back up!) I stayed close to the hill side and left the cliff side alone. Of course, this meant that I overcompensated and I ended up off the road, in deeper, unpacked snow, on the hill side of the road. Before I knew it, I was completely buried in snow. Yes. It was up over my bumper. My tires spun and splashed snow everywhere.

And there I was. Ten kilometres away from my friend’s house. Stuck in the snow, without cell phone service.

And yet I didn’t panic. I didn’t even really get anxious (at first). I simply persevered. I dug out my wheels. Then I dug out my bumpers. I tried pushing my car down the hill, then thought better of it as I worried I wouldn’t be able to control the momentum should I manage to get her to move. In the end, it was digging down to the leaves beneath the snow that won me enough friction to get out of the deep snow.

And then, I found myself nearly parallel on the teeny road. In order to go up the hill (the direction I needed to go) I would have to cut my wheels tightly in order to avoid the cliff ahead. NOW I was anxious. Even going back the way I came could have been more challenging as I might not be able to control the speed on the icy hill. Either way, the cliff was directly ahead of me. I even considered bailing at that point and just hiking out. (After all I had food, drinks and lots of warm clothes! I was good for at least a couple of days hiking!)

But, like everything I do in life, I gave it one more shot. I figured I could control my momentum enough to figure out if it would work BEFORE disaster were to strike. And, so boldly, instead of looking back, (which might have been easier) I looked ahead and plowed onward. (sorry for the pun!) And, as I write out the story, I realize there are many parallels between my life in the past year and this stuck-in-the-snow experience. Much like my life’s overview earlier in the night, it was time to look forward.

Then slowly, in first gear, revving my poor car until she was screaming, I managed to crest the hill. A mini celebration was had, but I wasn’t out of the woods yet. (Literally!) I still had 6.6 km of this winding, hilly road to navigate.

In the end, every hill that I crested was a moment to be grateful to my wee car for getting me over the hill. And looking back, I’m certain that had I not had a standard car (thank you Mom & Dad for teaching me standard!) I would have had to abandon my car and walk out of the woods to a place where I could find cell phone service again. I was ready for that possibility, but I didn’t give in without one last try.

So today’s moment: reflection and staying calm.

Moments of reflection.

Moments of keeping calm and persevering.

Moments D253: Perspectives

Today I had an early morning call from a friend some 3000+ miles away. We shared holiday pleasantries and then a couple of stories from the holidays. It was amoungst these stories that he quickly reminded me of a different perspective. That it was time to focus on the importance of self. Not to worry about others as much as I have in the past and for goodness sake to call them out on their BS. After all, we take the time to teach children when they’ve made a mistake, why then, as adults, do we struggle so to call out mistakes and why don’t we work harder at rectifying those errors?

He was right. I couldn’t argue his points. (Believe me I tried for a bit before rescinding any argument with his words!) After that brief conversation, I realize that I haven’t been as true to myself as I could have been. I haven’t been fighting for me. I’ve been fighting to keep everyone around me happy. (And while I realize this isn’t always a bad thing, too much of anything leads to an unbalanced life!) I’ve been fighting to make others feel good. It’s time to fight for my own happiness.

So I’m thankful for a distant friend’s perspective. One that washed over me like someone splashing cold water to my face.

Moments to awaken.

Moments to move forward.

Moments D252: Shared Horoscope

This morning I stopped in at my local Starbucks. I wasn’t in the best of moods given that my phone was destroyed, but I was looking forward to my morning venti americano.

The barista making my coffee chatted me up about post-holiday goals and resolutions. We agreed: resolutions always seem to fail. It’s more about setting realistic goals and working towards them.

And then, he pulled out a piece of paper from his wallet. It was his horoscope. It spoke about choosing paths. About deciding if the journey/path ahead was worth working for. Worth digging into. Or if it would be simply better to just sit on the couch and let the opportunity pass by. He then revealed that his horoscope was also mine.

Huh. How Timely. How incredibly special to have shared that moment with him. He didn’t seem particularly happy either about the New Year, but he did have hope because of the promise of opportunity, the promise of a journey. His attachment to those simple words gave me a moment of hope too. A moment where I believed that the journeys ahead will be different than those of the past year. *I* wasn’t going to sit on the couch and let them pass me by.

So I thank the barista for sharing his found horoscope. A moment that will stay with me throughout the year to come.

Moments D251: New Beginnings

Today is the beginning of a New Year. The year started off being surrounded by a lot of love and positive energy. That feeling quickly disintegrated in the early hours of the morning when things became dark and complicated. But as I reflect upon it now, it was an evening that epitomized my entire year. This past year was filled with many highs and many lows. I was surrounded by love, light and adoration and other times I found myself in the deepest darkest hole. It is the roller coaster of life, or rather, it’s my roller coaster of life.

And so, as I reflect upon the year, these highs highs and low lows like I’ve never had before, one thing is for certain: I have gone deeper than I’ve ever been within myself. I have gone deeper with others than ever before. I’ve opened myself up to new types of people, new opportunities and new perspectives in life. I have grown leaps and bounds in the past 12 months. I can only imagine what another year will bring.

As I let 2012 drift into the darkness, I look forward to 2013 with fondness. The year started with a bang. It was like an explosion pushing me in a new direction. I now know it’s time to dig ever deeper. It’s time for new beginnings with the energies that the universe brings me and time to go after my dreams. I guess I should start to figure out what those dreams are!

Moments to pause and reflect.

Moments to dream new dreams.