It's Thursday. It's volleyball night. As I drove to my set of games tonight, I was a touch nervous as we've mixed up the ladies into four new teams. Tonight was my first night with my new volleyball teammates and there were quite a few of them I've never played with before. What to expect?
Tonight ended up being a pretty spectacular round of games. Sure, we actually won every game we played, but that's not why it was a spectacular night. No, it's because I'm in like with my new teammates. These ladies communicate well, we manage to play competitively without losing sight of the goal - to have fun. It was also quite a confidence builder to be on a team that was happily surprised that I could play any position they needed me in, including setting. I even set a game - a first in this league.
Yes a fun, easy evening of volleyball. Perfect.
Moments anticipating the energy of a new team.
Moments enjoying the tightness of the teamwork.
Showing posts with label nervous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nervous. Show all posts
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Moments D633: Welcome Back - Part II (and three)
Tonight was my first night back to playing volleyball with my competitive women's team in 6 weeks. I was nervous. Afraid to be rusty or worse, a downright drag on the team, I arrived a touch nervous for the games ahead.
I changed with some of the other girls in silence. While they too had taken a 2 week break over the holidays, they had all been back over the last 2 weeks. I was definitely the odd (wo)man out.
A quick warm up with a girl I've played with outside this league and I was starting to feel back into the swing of things. A little rusty, but the cobwebs were quickly being shaken aside.
Before I knew it our first game started and all nerves left me. It's been awhile, yes. I haven't seen these girls in a long time, yes, but I was ready to dive back in. And dive in I did. (Over and over again.)
We had our full roster tonight. Seven players for a game that only needs 6. I was one of the lucky two that didn't sit for a full game. I offered. The captain didn't want me to sit because I was playing so well.
DANG! How's that for being away for 6 weeks?
Not bad. Not bad at all if I do say so myself.
According to one of my teammates, it must have been all that California vitamin D.
Maybe so.
Four (winning) games later and I was feeling relieved that I "hadn't lost it", revived, and damn hungry.
Moments diving back in.
Moments feeling at home again.
(and part three) - EQ and I ventured to a nearby Vietnamese restaurant that we visited back in October. "Jenny" recognized us as we were seated and welcomed us back. Our second time ever in the restaurant. That was a very sweet welcome. Looks like Thursdays nights will be Vietnamese dinner nights for awhile.
I changed with some of the other girls in silence. While they too had taken a 2 week break over the holidays, they had all been back over the last 2 weeks. I was definitely the odd (wo)man out.
A quick warm up with a girl I've played with outside this league and I was starting to feel back into the swing of things. A little rusty, but the cobwebs were quickly being shaken aside.
Before I knew it our first game started and all nerves left me. It's been awhile, yes. I haven't seen these girls in a long time, yes, but I was ready to dive back in. And dive in I did. (Over and over again.)
We had our full roster tonight. Seven players for a game that only needs 6. I was one of the lucky two that didn't sit for a full game. I offered. The captain didn't want me to sit because I was playing so well.
DANG! How's that for being away for 6 weeks?
Not bad. Not bad at all if I do say so myself.
According to one of my teammates, it must have been all that California vitamin D.
Maybe so.
Four (winning) games later and I was feeling relieved that I "hadn't lost it", revived, and damn hungry.
Moments diving back in.
Moments feeling at home again.
(and part three) - EQ and I ventured to a nearby Vietnamese restaurant that we visited back in October. "Jenny" recognized us as we were seated and welcomed us back. Our second time ever in the restaurant. That was a very sweet welcome. Looks like Thursdays nights will be Vietnamese dinner nights for awhile.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Moments D595: Warm Reunions
Today was EQ's staff party. Perfect right? It's my first day back in California and we had a chance to share an evening with his closest friends and co-workers.
But I was a little nervous. I didn't tell him that. In fact, I didn't tell anyone that. Why would I? It's been awhile since I've been here and seen his friends and co-workers. It built up some nerves.
How wonderful it felt to have those nerves melt away so quickly shortly after we arrived at the party. It was this warm wave of positive energy and acceptance from his closest friends and co-workers. With smiles and hugs, it was easy to let the nerves go.
What incredible people. What a delightful party.
It`s good to be back.
Moments feeling a little like a fish out of water.
Moments realizing, it`s okay to be out of the water, you`re not a fish!
But I was a little nervous. I didn't tell him that. In fact, I didn't tell anyone that. Why would I? It's been awhile since I've been here and seen his friends and co-workers. It built up some nerves.
How wonderful it felt to have those nerves melt away so quickly shortly after we arrived at the party. It was this warm wave of positive energy and acceptance from his closest friends and co-workers. With smiles and hugs, it was easy to let the nerves go.
What incredible people. What a delightful party.
It`s good to be back.
Moments feeling a little like a fish out of water.
Moments realizing, it`s okay to be out of the water, you`re not a fish!
Monday, October 21, 2013
Moments D546: Fly me to the Moon
Today was a day of sitting on pins and needles, waiting. Sometimes waiting can be ever so torturous. Believe me, today was one of those days!
Strangely, it was also highly productive day as I dove in deep trying to shed the excess energy swirling about me. I was a machine burning off all that excess energy! I'm the worst at waiting for these moments to arrive. I tend to over-analyze and over-think a coming moment such as this. A moment that I've prepared for, certainly for days, if not for weeks. And the time was nearly upon me.
Seriously. Imagine all the pent up energy pent after all the twists and turns of the past month (or so). The highs, the lows. And now, I found the moment upon upon me. It was time to share my news with "the powers that be". It was time to start spreading the news and I was high on love and flying over the moon at the thought and anticipation of sharing my news.
I was nervous. Terribly nervous. More nervous than I should have been, after all it was good news. In fact, our final plan ended up becoming a win-win-win situation for all involved. So why all the nerves?
WELL......
Imagine the pent up energy from sitting on news this big for two weeks.
Imagine the emotional turmoil from shifting gears (back and forth and back again!) over those two weeks.
Add to that, the eerie silence and the inability to share with everyone. Add in the loss of a close friend and the inability to openly share and celebrate. Frankly, there was, simply, a lot of energy and words waiting to explode out into the universe from my heart & soul. Even in today's moment, I had to contain their power. I had to find a way to gently open the flood gates. Baby steps.
Believe me, baby steps are not easy, when you are holding back that much energy!
And yet. I did it.
With shaky hands and a flutter in my heart I finally shared my recently solidified plan and news. And, even though the plan has dramatically changed over the last week, it is a solid plan and it's extremely exciting. Honestly, it was hard not to just have a silly grin on my face and babble about sparkles, unicorns and rainbows.
I'm rambling. I know. What can I say. TOO. MUCH. ENERGY!
Okay focus.
My moment today? I managed to pull myself together. I centred and grounded myself and I shared my news with, hopefully, few tell-tale signs of the nerves behind the words. I hit the key points. I was flexible and went with the flow of the conversation. And, while there was excitement in the air, the business points were not lost.
But believe me, once the news and the proposal was out, I was internally doing the happy dance. A mini-moment of celebration. I barely contained myself from squealing over and over again. (And I admit, I still let it slip at the end of my big conversation tonight.)
It's a good thing I was meeting Archie and Comic Guy for dinner and a show after work. I needed to share out all that energy and love.
What an incredible day. One, that I'm sure will be followed by many more as my love inches ever closer to me in our quest to continue to dig deep with one another. We are officially on that path together. And now, now the world knows.
Watch out world. You have no idea what you are in for.
Moments waiting in anticipation.
Moments pulling yourself together defeating the nerves within.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Moments D505: Sacred Traditions
Today's moment was one with more depth than most of of my 574+ shared moments. Today I shared in what I feel is a sacred moment. I was very nervous to be included as I know its importance and depth; one small misstep and I could find myself in an extremely awkward position.
For the most part I kept my energy focused on this sacred moment to be bright and supportive, but I was a follower. I awaited cues and gestures to know how I should be involved. I did what I could to do more than just watch the ceremony in progress. I focused my energy to be bright, but it was an incredibly emotional for me. I felt all the emotion of the moment added to my own. At times during the ceremony, I found myself overwhelmed with tears in my eyes. It was a beautiful to be even a small part of this tradition, let alone in the middle of it.
I watched as balloons were released in pairs. The final single one was sent into the sky and we watched it disappear into the morning sky. It was a celebration, a shared memory. A moment ripe with love and pain. It was a first moment that will forever be with me as I begin a new path with the man I love.
Intimate moments shared.
Moments never to be forgotten.
For the most part I kept my energy focused on this sacred moment to be bright and supportive, but I was a follower. I awaited cues and gestures to know how I should be involved. I did what I could to do more than just watch the ceremony in progress. I focused my energy to be bright, but it was an incredibly emotional for me. I felt all the emotion of the moment added to my own. At times during the ceremony, I found myself overwhelmed with tears in my eyes. It was a beautiful to be even a small part of this tradition, let alone in the middle of it.
I watched as balloons were released in pairs. The final single one was sent into the sky and we watched it disappear into the morning sky. It was a celebration, a shared memory. A moment ripe with love and pain. It was a first moment that will forever be with me as I begin a new path with the man I love.
Intimate moments shared.
Moments never to be forgotten.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Moments D459: Nerves and pushing through
Before today I've played golf, on a golf course, exactly twice.
Today, I took the day off of work and joined three of my baseball buddies to go golfing. They all golf. One actually went to school to become a golf course designer. Golf is his passion. Another golfs frequently and will be doing much more of that next year as he has decided to shed a baseball team to make more time for his golf. The third, he's out golfing often in the summer. And then there was me - this was to be my third time on a golf course.
As we made our way to the golf course (together in one vehicle) the two avid golfers discussed golf. I was nervous as I drove to meet them for our carpool. This did nothing for my comfort level! Now I was even more nervous. I spoke up, explaining that this was my third time playing a game, that sure, I'd been mini-golfing (NOT the same) a zillion times and to a driving range a few times, but this would be the third time playing on a course. I asked the course designer to feel free to share some tips and tricks with me as I'd likely need them and I promised them that I would do my very best not to be an anchor to the team.
But underneath, I was a bundle of nerves. I didn't want to be an anchor to the team. Playing best ball, it wasn't likely to happen anyway, I knew this, but I'm not very good at not being good at something and this crew won the tournament last year. I feared I would be a distraction to their game. I was quieter than my normal self as I tried to quell my nerves so that I could, at the very least, just enjoy the day away from the office and have some fun without putting too much pressure upon myself.
But, I am who I am. I like to do well. I like to be a contributing member of whatever team I'm on. I am not typically that person that needs to be pulled along. I was a fish-out-of-water here. Nerves.
And then, the moment I was most nervous about arrived. Tee time. The first drive. The fist time I'd be swinging a club since last fall. Top that off with the fact that my foursome asked me to go first. WOW. Talk about nerves.
I took my time walking up to my tee. I breathed deeply as I placed my ball upon its tee. Stepping back from the tee, I took a few practice swings and tried to remember all the little points to a good swing. I visualized connecting with the ball and I reminded myself to breathe. And then, I stepped up to the little white ball on the bright red tee, I breathed in deeply and as I exhaled I began my swing.
I connected with the ball well enough and my ball ended up nearly smack dab middle on the fairway! Phew. What a relief that was. Perhaps I wasn't going to be a total distraction after all! In the end, we ended up using my drive for the best ball on hole one. That was a good boost in confidence.
As the remaining holes came and went, I had my ups and downs in my golf game. I learned tips. I learned that I didn't like to clip the ground and make a divot and how that messed up my swing. (apparently golfing is about clipping the ground!) I learned that over-thinking my swing didn't do me any favours. I learned how to do a proper pitch (and managed to do two really well! Better than the boys even!) I learned a lot about clubs and when to use them. And, I learned that even those who play the game with a lot more experience make stupid silly mistakes. That this sport is all about perfecting a skill that is not easy to perfect. There are so many subtleties that can go wrong. (e.g. a slight twist of the club (open or closed) has serious consequences to how the ball is hit.) It is definitely a game of skill, concentration and patience.
In the end, it was almost meditative to me. I enjoyed being outside in the beautiful sunny summer day. I enjoyed pausing and breathing and ensuring that my body was aligned just so, so I could hit the ball just so. I liked being overly self-aware of how I was swinging and understanding how fast the greens were or countering the winds.
It was an incredible day. One filled with nervous energy. A day of learning, laughing and growing.
Moments pushing beyond one's comfort zone.
Moments learning and growing.
Today, I took the day off of work and joined three of my baseball buddies to go golfing. They all golf. One actually went to school to become a golf course designer. Golf is his passion. Another golfs frequently and will be doing much more of that next year as he has decided to shed a baseball team to make more time for his golf. The third, he's out golfing often in the summer. And then there was me - this was to be my third time on a golf course.
As we made our way to the golf course (together in one vehicle) the two avid golfers discussed golf. I was nervous as I drove to meet them for our carpool. This did nothing for my comfort level! Now I was even more nervous. I spoke up, explaining that this was my third time playing a game, that sure, I'd been mini-golfing (NOT the same) a zillion times and to a driving range a few times, but this would be the third time playing on a course. I asked the course designer to feel free to share some tips and tricks with me as I'd likely need them and I promised them that I would do my very best not to be an anchor to the team.
But underneath, I was a bundle of nerves. I didn't want to be an anchor to the team. Playing best ball, it wasn't likely to happen anyway, I knew this, but I'm not very good at not being good at something and this crew won the tournament last year. I feared I would be a distraction to their game. I was quieter than my normal self as I tried to quell my nerves so that I could, at the very least, just enjoy the day away from the office and have some fun without putting too much pressure upon myself.
But, I am who I am. I like to do well. I like to be a contributing member of whatever team I'm on. I am not typically that person that needs to be pulled along. I was a fish-out-of-water here. Nerves.
And then, the moment I was most nervous about arrived. Tee time. The first drive. The fist time I'd be swinging a club since last fall. Top that off with the fact that my foursome asked me to go first. WOW. Talk about nerves.
I took my time walking up to my tee. I breathed deeply as I placed my ball upon its tee. Stepping back from the tee, I took a few practice swings and tried to remember all the little points to a good swing. I visualized connecting with the ball and I reminded myself to breathe. And then, I stepped up to the little white ball on the bright red tee, I breathed in deeply and as I exhaled I began my swing.
I connected with the ball well enough and my ball ended up nearly smack dab middle on the fairway! Phew. What a relief that was. Perhaps I wasn't going to be a total distraction after all! In the end, we ended up using my drive for the best ball on hole one. That was a good boost in confidence.
As the remaining holes came and went, I had my ups and downs in my golf game. I learned tips. I learned that I didn't like to clip the ground and make a divot and how that messed up my swing. (apparently golfing is about clipping the ground!) I learned that over-thinking my swing didn't do me any favours. I learned how to do a proper pitch (and managed to do two really well! Better than the boys even!) I learned a lot about clubs and when to use them. And, I learned that even those who play the game with a lot more experience make stupid silly mistakes. That this sport is all about perfecting a skill that is not easy to perfect. There are so many subtleties that can go wrong. (e.g. a slight twist of the club (open or closed) has serious consequences to how the ball is hit.) It is definitely a game of skill, concentration and patience.
In the end, it was almost meditative to me. I enjoyed being outside in the beautiful sunny summer day. I enjoyed pausing and breathing and ensuring that my body was aligned just so, so I could hit the ball just so. I liked being overly self-aware of how I was swinging and understanding how fast the greens were or countering the winds.
It was an incredible day. One filled with nervous energy. A day of learning, laughing and growing.
Moments pushing beyond one's comfort zone.
Moments learning and growing.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Moments D262: Panic & Calm
Today was our staff appreciation party. It’s always a fun time and it’s great to see your co-workers all dressed up. (Yes, some of them clean up quite well!) It was a really fantastic evening with some wonderful people.
But today’s moment is about the wee adventure I had before heading to the party. It was a pre-party in Pickering and I was taking the GO train out there and getting picked up at the GO station.
Now, I’m not sure why I was so nervous about this trek, but there’s no doubt that I was. First, I didn’t want to walk to the GO station (only 8 min away) in my heals. Secondly, I really didn’t want to walk to the GO station at all. Not in my well-fitted dress. Not with my jewelry on. It made me nervous!
I did what I always do when I get nervous about something. I planned. I looked up the GO station to find out exactly where it was and how I would get to it. I made sure that I was there 10 minutes before the train was to arrive. I left my rings in my pocket, wore flat shoes for walking and I was covered from neck to knee hoping that would bring me some comfort.
And, for the most part it did. I was still nervous, but less so. And then, with ticket in hand waiting for the train to arrive, I stopped, giggled at myself for being so silly and unzipped my coat to enjoy the warm 9C degree weather. I let the calm settle over me as the train arrived. I spent the 10 minute ride meditating on having a great night and just finding my centre again.
Moments to plan and prepare for.
Moments to laugh at self.
But today’s moment is about the wee adventure I had before heading to the party. It was a pre-party in Pickering and I was taking the GO train out there and getting picked up at the GO station.
Now, I’m not sure why I was so nervous about this trek, but there’s no doubt that I was. First, I didn’t want to walk to the GO station (only 8 min away) in my heals. Secondly, I really didn’t want to walk to the GO station at all. Not in my well-fitted dress. Not with my jewelry on. It made me nervous!
I did what I always do when I get nervous about something. I planned. I looked up the GO station to find out exactly where it was and how I would get to it. I made sure that I was there 10 minutes before the train was to arrive. I left my rings in my pocket, wore flat shoes for walking and I was covered from neck to knee hoping that would bring me some comfort.
And, for the most part it did. I was still nervous, but less so. And then, with ticket in hand waiting for the train to arrive, I stopped, giggled at myself for being so silly and unzipped my coat to enjoy the warm 9C degree weather. I let the calm settle over me as the train arrived. I spent the 10 minute ride meditating on having a great night and just finding my centre again.
Moments to plan and prepare for.
Moments to laugh at self.
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