I am often surprised at things I see when I watch people passing. Sometimes I am amused. Sometimes I am disgusted. Sometimes I am intrigued. Sometimes, the most rare of times, I am inspired. A moment where I find I have a little more appreciation for people; in general and for those close to me.
Today I watched a young man, likely in his early 20's as I was on campus, be a perfect gentleman to his girlfriend. He opened the door for her before she walked through. As they entered the building, she paused in the entryway and started to remove her coat. He offered to take her purse (a large name brand bag) and helped her remove her coat. When she went to take her obviously heavy bag back, he shrugged, shook his head no and flashed a huge smile.
With a surprised look on her face she grabbed his hand and they started on their way Here was this young couple walking along with the young lady without her coat or bag and her boyfriend, wearing his winter jacket, carrying both her coat and her big bag.
It reminded me of my own gentleman at home. EQ is that kind of gentleman. At first it was strange for me to accept such lavish attentions, after all, I'm a strong independent woman.
But I cannot tell a lie, I love that he shows that respect and tenderness for me.
Moments appreciating young love with traditional the behaviour of gentleman showing respect for his partner in small mundane ways.
Moments appreciating that it feels incredible to receive (and share) that kind of respect with the one you love.
Showing posts with label tradition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tradition. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Moments D617: Resolutions and Self-Improvement
Today being New Year's Eve, people around me are talking about their coming New Year's resolution. I've never made a New Year's resolution. I never understood new year's resolutions. Okay, that's not entirely true. I never understood why at new year's beginning. I know, that seems silly and short-sighted of me because for most, the beginning of a new year offers the opportunity for reflection of the year past and the promise of new direction for the coming year. It's a tradition that has been handed down from the Babylonians who looked to start their year off on the right foot by earning the favour of their Gods via promises made at the turn of the year.
I get it. It's about renewal. Another chance to do something that you've been promising yourself for awhile. (How long has it been for you? Months? Years?) It's an opportunity to reflect on what you have (or not) accomplished off your list of goals and reset and refocus. By making a promise to yourself you might just push ahead to your goals.
But, did you know that "...88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail,despite the fact that 52% of the study's participants were confident of success at the beginning." It actually takes a lot of willpower to stick to big goals (and most New Year's resolutions are big goals). We struggle with that amount of willpower to be used in one sitting. According to those studies, it's best to break down your goals into smaller steps
So why is it that most wait a year to revisit that list? Why is it that it takes a change in the date for us to pause and reflect upon our path and direction it's taking us? Haven't we learned, through our failure rates over the years, that it's too much all at once to set lofty goals once a year?
I ask these questions because inevitably someone asks the question about resolutions on this day.
For me, I've always preferred to revisit my list of goals more often. It also allows for there to be multiple goals instead of one big one. I like to break out my goals into baby steps. Sometimes, as my nearest and dearest may attest to, I break them down into teeny-tiny steps. Some might call that micromanaging or overly attentive to detail, but for me, it's more about feeling like I can accomplish the steps I sets before me. I love to cross things off my list. What a sense of accomplishment that is for me.
Ultimately, I prefer to look upon every day as an opportunity to be a better me. An opportunity to revisit and refocus. It offers the ability to work on baby steps that I gravitate to that day, thus needing less willpower and energy. Every day I'm able to work just a little bit on the bigger picture. Does that mean I am successful daily? Hell no! But I guarantee you, that even with those failed days, I manage to move myself more forward at the end of a month than I would if I set myself a lofty one-off goal at the beginning of the year. For me, I need to pause and reflect often - each moment is a learning opportunity. I've never really formally dissected my beliefs on resolutions, so this has been a good exercise for me.
My resolution then, if push came to shove, is to be better at taking a moment every day to reflect upon the day passed. I want to continue to learn from the day before and to see opportunity in the day ahead of me in what I can do differently today. Sometimes it's to be more efficient. Sometimes it's to be more patient. Sometimes it's to be more kind to myself. Sometimes it's to focus more energy on my health, or offer more love to those in my circle. Some days I'm content to keep moving forward on that path and other days I find ways of slightly altering that path. You get the point.
I resolve to take a more conscious moment every day to reflect upon my path and the direction it's taking me. Every morning when I wake, I will pause and reflect upon the choices ahead of me for the day. Is today going to be a good day? Is today going to be a productive day? Is today going to be a day that I help someone else with their goals?
That's my moment today, recognizing that I have my own tradition of New Year's resolutions. And now, it will be a more formal daily activity. I wonder where that will take me.
One last thought for in my travels of finding the origins of resolutions I also came across this article about other New Year's traditions. Some of these other traditions celebrating the end of one year and the promise of a new one are interesting. Me, I think I may have to eat 12 grapes tonight and think of what I'd like each month to bring to me.
Moments reflection upon popular traditions that you don't follow.
Moments realizing you have your own and formalizing them.
I get it. It's about renewal. Another chance to do something that you've been promising yourself for awhile. (How long has it been for you? Months? Years?) It's an opportunity to reflect on what you have (or not) accomplished off your list of goals and reset and refocus. By making a promise to yourself you might just push ahead to your goals.
But, did you know that "...88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail,despite the fact that 52% of the study's participants were confident of success at the beginning." It actually takes a lot of willpower to stick to big goals (and most New Year's resolutions are big goals). We struggle with that amount of willpower to be used in one sitting. According to those studies, it's best to break down your goals into smaller steps
So why is it that most wait a year to revisit that list? Why is it that it takes a change in the date for us to pause and reflect upon our path and direction it's taking us? Haven't we learned, through our failure rates over the years, that it's too much all at once to set lofty goals once a year?
I ask these questions because inevitably someone asks the question about resolutions on this day.
For me, I've always preferred to revisit my list of goals more often. It also allows for there to be multiple goals instead of one big one. I like to break out my goals into baby steps. Sometimes, as my nearest and dearest may attest to, I break them down into teeny-tiny steps. Some might call that micromanaging or overly attentive to detail, but for me, it's more about feeling like I can accomplish the steps I sets before me. I love to cross things off my list. What a sense of accomplishment that is for me.
Ultimately, I prefer to look upon every day as an opportunity to be a better me. An opportunity to revisit and refocus. It offers the ability to work on baby steps that I gravitate to that day, thus needing less willpower and energy. Every day I'm able to work just a little bit on the bigger picture. Does that mean I am successful daily? Hell no! But I guarantee you, that even with those failed days, I manage to move myself more forward at the end of a month than I would if I set myself a lofty one-off goal at the beginning of the year. For me, I need to pause and reflect often - each moment is a learning opportunity. I've never really formally dissected my beliefs on resolutions, so this has been a good exercise for me.
My resolution then, if push came to shove, is to be better at taking a moment every day to reflect upon the day passed. I want to continue to learn from the day before and to see opportunity in the day ahead of me in what I can do differently today. Sometimes it's to be more efficient. Sometimes it's to be more patient. Sometimes it's to be more kind to myself. Sometimes it's to focus more energy on my health, or offer more love to those in my circle. Some days I'm content to keep moving forward on that path and other days I find ways of slightly altering that path. You get the point.
I resolve to take a more conscious moment every day to reflect upon my path and the direction it's taking me. Every morning when I wake, I will pause and reflect upon the choices ahead of me for the day. Is today going to be a good day? Is today going to be a productive day? Is today going to be a day that I help someone else with their goals?
That's my moment today, recognizing that I have my own tradition of New Year's resolutions. And now, it will be a more formal daily activity. I wonder where that will take me.
One last thought for in my travels of finding the origins of resolutions I also came across this article about other New Year's traditions. Some of these other traditions celebrating the end of one year and the promise of a new one are interesting. Me, I think I may have to eat 12 grapes tonight and think of what I'd like each month to bring to me.
Moments reflection upon popular traditions that you don't follow.
Moments realizing you have your own and formalizing them.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Moments D505: Sacred Traditions
Today's moment was one with more depth than most of of my 574+ shared moments. Today I shared in what I feel is a sacred moment. I was very nervous to be included as I know its importance and depth; one small misstep and I could find myself in an extremely awkward position.
For the most part I kept my energy focused on this sacred moment to be bright and supportive, but I was a follower. I awaited cues and gestures to know how I should be involved. I did what I could to do more than just watch the ceremony in progress. I focused my energy to be bright, but it was an incredibly emotional for me. I felt all the emotion of the moment added to my own. At times during the ceremony, I found myself overwhelmed with tears in my eyes. It was a beautiful to be even a small part of this tradition, let alone in the middle of it.
I watched as balloons were released in pairs. The final single one was sent into the sky and we watched it disappear into the morning sky. It was a celebration, a shared memory. A moment ripe with love and pain. It was a first moment that will forever be with me as I begin a new path with the man I love.
Intimate moments shared.
Moments never to be forgotten.
For the most part I kept my energy focused on this sacred moment to be bright and supportive, but I was a follower. I awaited cues and gestures to know how I should be involved. I did what I could to do more than just watch the ceremony in progress. I focused my energy to be bright, but it was an incredibly emotional for me. I felt all the emotion of the moment added to my own. At times during the ceremony, I found myself overwhelmed with tears in my eyes. It was a beautiful to be even a small part of this tradition, let alone in the middle of it.
I watched as balloons were released in pairs. The final single one was sent into the sky and we watched it disappear into the morning sky. It was a celebration, a shared memory. A moment ripe with love and pain. It was a first moment that will forever be with me as I begin a new path with the man I love.
Intimate moments shared.
Moments never to be forgotten.
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