Moments D617: Resolutions and Self-Improvement

Today being New Year's Eve, people around me are talking about their coming New Year's resolution.  I've never made a New Year's resolution.  I never understood new year's resolutions.  Okay, that's not entirely true.  I never understood why at new year's beginning.  I know, that seems silly and short-sighted of me because for most, the beginning of a new year offers the opportunity for reflection of the year past and the promise of new direction for the coming year.  It's a tradition that has been handed down from the Babylonians who looked to start their year off on the right foot by earning the favour of their Gods via promises made at the turn of the year.

I get it.  It's about renewal.  Another chance to do something that you've been promising yourself for awhile. (How long has it been for you?  Months?  Years?)  It's an opportunity to reflect on what you have (or not) accomplished off your list of goals and reset and refocus.  By making a promise to yourself you might just push ahead to your goals.

But, did you know that "...88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail,despite the fact that 52% of the study's participants were confident of success at the beginning." It actually takes a lot of willpower to stick to big goals (and most New Year's resolutions are big goals). We struggle with that amount of willpower to be used in one sitting. According to those studies, it's best to break down your goals into smaller steps
So why is it that most wait a year to revisit that list?  Why is it that it takes a change in the date for us to pause and reflect upon our path and direction it's taking us?  Haven't we learned, through our failure rates over the years, that it's too much all at once to set lofty goals once a year?

I ask these questions because inevitably someone asks the question about resolutions on this day.

For me, I've always preferred to revisit my list of goals more often.  It also allows for there to be multiple goals instead of one big one.  I like to break out my goals into baby steps.  Sometimes, as my nearest and dearest may attest to, I break them down into teeny-tiny steps.  Some might call that micromanaging or overly attentive to detail, but for me, it's more about feeling like I can accomplish the steps I sets before me.  I love to cross things off my list.  What a sense of accomplishment that is for me.

Ultimately, I prefer to look upon every day as an opportunity to be a better me.  An opportunity to revisit and refocus.  It offers the ability to work on baby steps that I gravitate to that day, thus needing less willpower and energy.  Every day I'm able to work just a little bit on the bigger picture.  Does that mean I am successful daily?  Hell no!  But I guarantee you, that even with those failed days, I manage to move myself more forward at the end of a month than I would if I set myself a lofty one-off goal at the beginning of the year.  For me, I need to pause and reflect often - each moment is a learning opportunity.   I've never really formally dissected my beliefs on resolutions, so this has been a good exercise for me.

My resolution then, if push came to shove, is to be better at taking a moment every day to reflect upon the day passed.  I want to continue to learn from the day before and to see opportunity in the day ahead of me in what I can do differently today.  Sometimes it's to be more efficient.  Sometimes it's to be more patient.  Sometimes it's to be more kind to myself.  Sometimes it's to focus more energy on my health, or offer more love to those in my circle.  Some days I'm content to keep moving forward on that path and other days I find ways of slightly altering that path. You get the point.

I resolve to take a more conscious moment every day to reflect upon my path and the direction it's taking me.    Every morning when I wake, I will pause and reflect upon the choices ahead of me for the day.  Is today going to be a good day?  Is today going to be a productive day?  Is today going to be a day that I help someone else with their goals?

That's my moment today, recognizing that I have my own tradition of New Year's resolutions.  And now, it will be a more formal daily activity.  I wonder where that will take me.

One last thought for in my travels of finding the origins of resolutions I also came across this article about other New Year's traditions.  Some of these other traditions celebrating the end of one year and the promise of a new one are interesting.  Me, I think I may have to eat 12 grapes tonight and think of what I'd like each month to bring to me.

Moments reflection upon popular traditions that you don't follow.

Moments realizing you have your own and formalizing them.

Moments D251: New Beginnings

Today is the beginning of a New Year. The year started off being surrounded by a lot of love and positive energy. That feeling quickly disintegrated in the early hours of the morning when things became dark and complicated. But as I reflect upon it now, it was an evening that epitomized my entire year. This past year was filled with many highs and many lows. I was surrounded by love, light and adoration and other times I found myself in the deepest darkest hole. It is the roller coaster of life, or rather, it’s my roller coaster of life.

And so, as I reflect upon the year, these highs highs and low lows like I’ve never had before, one thing is for certain: I have gone deeper than I’ve ever been within myself. I have gone deeper with others than ever before. I’ve opened myself up to new types of people, new opportunities and new perspectives in life. I have grown leaps and bounds in the past 12 months. I can only imagine what another year will bring.

As I let 2012 drift into the darkness, I look forward to 2013 with fondness. The year started with a bang. It was like an explosion pushing me in a new direction. I now know it’s time to dig ever deeper. It’s time for new beginnings with the energies that the universe brings me and time to go after my dreams. I guess I should start to figure out what those dreams are!

Moments to pause and reflect.

Moments to dream new dreams.

Moments D250: Friends old & New

Today was a day filled with many positive moments and words. Afterall, we were on the cusp of the dawn of 2013. Who isn’t inspired by the promise of a new start. An opportunity to reach for old dreams and to dream new ones.

But today’s best moment was when my oldest friend’s house party officially started. An intimate group of 7. Old friends, and new. Together we discussed the woes of the world, dreams of the past, and silly dreams of “what if”.

These are people I love (even those newest to the group). And, while I wasn’t surrounded by all that I love, I was incredibly happy to be sharing this special moment with this special group.

As the year rolled over, we kissed and hugged and had sparklers to celebrate. I then called and texted those missing in person.

And then there was a moment, where I felt apart from it all. A voyeur. I watched as old & new friends mixed and mingled. It was beautiful and a brilliant way to bring in 2013.

Moments of shared dreams.
Moments of shared love.