Moments D250: Friends old & New

Today was a day filled with many positive moments and words. Afterall, we were on the cusp of the dawn of 2013. Who isn’t inspired by the promise of a new start. An opportunity to reach for old dreams and to dream new ones.

But today’s best moment was when my oldest friend’s house party officially started. An intimate group of 7. Old friends, and new. Together we discussed the woes of the world, dreams of the past, and silly dreams of “what if”.

These are people I love (even those newest to the group). And, while I wasn’t surrounded by all that I love, I was incredibly happy to be sharing this special moment with this special group.

As the year rolled over, we kissed and hugged and had sparklers to celebrate. I then called and texted those missing in person.

And then there was a moment, where I felt apart from it all. A voyeur. I watched as old & new friends mixed and mingled. It was beautiful and a brilliant way to bring in 2013.

Moments of shared dreams.
Moments of shared love.

Moments D249: Boots

Today’s moment came to me while venturing out for a late breakfast/early lunch. I wore my boots. My lunch date did not. I smiled and giggled when I jumped into the snow bank and slushy puddle while my date walked gingerly around the snowy mess.

Yes, sometimes a moment can be that simple. I was happy to have had my boots on so I could play in the snow!

Moments D248: Cleansing Energies

Today was a second Christmas for me. It was wonderful to awaken to our season’s second snowfall, then having a walk in the snowfall to pick up coffee. A beautiful morning which was followed with presents.

Today I received one of the most beautiful, thoughtful presents I’ve ever received to date. It was a beautiful deep purple amethyst cluster. For me, this works on many levels.

First, I love purple. It’s one of my favourite colours. Second, the meaning of the colour also seems to fit well with my current spiritual path. For purple is about seeking fulfilment and finding peace of mind. Surround one’s self with purple and theoretically its energy will help find better judgment for that path. It is also associated with the Crown chakra which links the individual with the universal. A perfect colour to sit and meditate with.

Digging deeper into the colour, purple is a combination of red and blue. Red, a focusing, dynamic and active energy is contrasted by the cooling, calming and expansive nature of blue. Together, they create purple bringing a new focus to the expansive nature of blue and the activity of red. How? Well, apparently the red brings a practicality and grounds the undirected expansiveness of blue. This allows a more creative energy to emerge. This is why purple is associated with imagination and inspiration.

For me, I feel and appreciate the energy of purple. Combine this information with the belief that amethyst is known as the healing crystal, well, the need for this energy resonates deeply with me. This beautiful deep purple amethyst cluster will surely help to clear my home, my mind and possibly my life of any remaining negative influences around me.

As 2012 is quickly coming to an end, I start to look back in time and realize how far I’ve come. As I look forward I also realize I have much further to go. This past year has not been an easy one for me. Sure, I’ve had moments that have inspired me, but there have been many that have challenged me and some that near broke me. As I look back, I realize that I’ve been strong to avoid some of the pitfalls that may have tempted me, but I realize that is a precarious position. I told someone close to me recently that I now realize just how easy it could be to fall into that deep, dark pit of despair and how much of a struggle it would be to pull out of it. Today, was a moment of appreciating those who have kept me from those dark depths and for recognizing that it is precarious.

And so, with that all in mind (and I know it’s a lot this time around!), I look forward to having a more sober mind with this new cleansing energy in my environment. It’s timing couldn’t be more welcome. Perfect really.  I doubt my gift giver realized the layers of importance of this cluster to me. While it isn’t a secret that I love crystals, I know most are unaware of their deeper meanings to me. Sometimes though, the universe points you in a direction if asked. This time the universe pointed to this cluster as my gift and its voice was heard. I couldn’t be more honoured knowing that my gift comes from such a place of love and positive energy. I will appreciate this new energy everyday. My beautiful cluster will be out for all to see and enjoy and its cleansing energy will flow in and around my home. I will also use it in meditations to continue to re-balance my life and to find better ways to calm my mind’s over activity and ward off depression.

Moments to reflect.

Moments to enjoy the energy.

Moments D247: Lazy and Non-Productive

From one end of the spectrum to the other in one day.

Today was a sick day. I slept in I managed to make myself some tea and watch some TV. And you know, it was kinda nice.

I don’t often have such lazy laid back days. There was a part of me that felt a little guilty for not being a little more productive (especially after yesterday’s post!), but in the end, I’m smiling at the fact that I had such a lovely lazy, non-productive day.

Moments to take a step away from it all.

Moments for nothing.

Moments D246: Productivity

Today was the first day back to work after the holidays. The day started early after one of the worst sleeps I’ve had in ages. I was worried that my typical post-holiday work day would be less productive than I needed it to be.

Fortunately, after a long, hot shower and a extra large coffee, I met my morning with a bang and caught up on many things. Not only was it a productive day, I managed to get out on time and home in time to be productive at home.

I had loose plans with two of my besties for holiday dinner. Last minute we agreed to go out in my ‘hood. Having friends drop by for a pre-dinner drink was not something I was ready for, but I couldn’t say no! I thought exploring my neighbourhood haunts was a wonderful idea. (They are uber thoughtful that way!)

The catch? My place looked like a hurricane had hit it post-holiday. I hadn’t planned on guests. And yet, with an hour to spare post-office, I managed to tidy and clean and have the place in tip-top-having-company condition. Nice!

So today’s moment? Productivity. Enjoying the flush of accomplishment and readiness for next steps.

Moments D245: Beating the Storm

Today was a great day with Mom & Dad. We did some boxing day shopping, stopped to watch a movie (Les Misérables, which was AMAZING, BTW) and then had a late lunch.

But all day, there was concern for the coming snow storm. There wasn't too much snow expected, but it was to be high winds and cold. Black ice, snow falling and swirling winds. Hmmm. NEVER a good combination. But I had my snows on and I was ready for it.

Even so, my Dad was pretty insistent that I leave early to miss the storm. I had been planning on staying until after dinner. I kept teasing him that he was kicking me out. At one point, he looked at me and said, "please don't say that, I'm just worried about your drive home". At which point I quickly apologized and gave him a big hug and told him I was only teasing him. I reassured him that I knew he was worried and I would take heed.

And so, our late lunch was quick post-show. As we finished up tasty turkey sandwiches, the snowflakes began to fall. Needless to say packing the car went even more quickly than I had anticipated! Dad was happy to have me on the road before the worst hit and my travels home were easy as I managed to stay in front of the storm the entire way home.

Sometimes love comes in strange wrappings. This time, it was my safety first over spending more time with me. So much the bigger picture of things. After all, time is irrelevant if we're not here.

Moments with weather messing up plans.

Moments feeling loved.

Moments D244: From the mouths of babes

Today was a day filled with love and warm soul reviving energy. Messages of holiday wishes were shared upon waking this morning and came from far and wide. It was a magical morning as we woke to a fine dusting of snow. Yes, it was Christmas day!

But the best moment was when I finally had a moment to sit with my six-year old nephew and have a bit of a chat. He teased me that he was ready for his presents. I teased him back that I hadn’t brought any. He giggled and then tried to convince me I had. I held my ground that I hadn’t. And then, something clicked with him. You could see it in his eyes. He turned away from the racing game on the TV that his brother and cousins were playing and looked me square in the eye and said “That’s okay, it’s not about presents. It’s about family and friends.” I couldn’t have had a prouder moment than that. I hugged him and asked him if he’d really be happy if I had come without presents and we were just going to hang out and play some games. The words were barely out of my mouth when he said “of course!”. Then I squeezed him a little tighter and whispered in his ear that I did bring a little something for him. And he giggled and squealed “I KNEW IT!” and we giggled together. It was quite a beautiful moment.

I can’t tell you how much his words meant to me. He and his brother have many aunts and uncles and therefore see lots and lots and lots of gifts during special occasions. It’s such a beautiful thing to hear that they see the bigger picture.

Moments to appreciate the bigger picture.

Moments with family and loved ones.

Moments D243: Words

One of my pet peeves during this time of year is how easily we get lost in the shuffle of the “to-do list”.    Are the decorations perfect?  Did you get cards out to your extended family and friends? The stress of finding the right gift for those that matter most to you, and of course the stress of mgetting your place ready and making a dinner for 20+ people. 

For me, none of that matters.  Tree or no tree.  Turkey or no turkey.  Gifts or not.  None of that matters.  It is about the people.  About sharing words of love, encouragement, respect, appreciation and more. 

Today was that first moment of the season where the words connected with my loved ones.  Words made them pause and breathe and feel loved.  And the best part?  The youngest today told me that I always have the best cards with the best words.  That warmed my soul. 

Words matter for people to really know how you feel.  We all want to know how loved we are and I’m happy to share it!

Tomorrow, I’m sure to see tears in my Mom’s eyes when she reads my card to her.  I look forward to that moment most of all. 

So, if there was one thing I could wish for (that was obtainable) it would be to dig a little deeper and share more loving words over the holidays.   Don’t assume they know.  And hell, even if they do…take the time to remind them.

Moments with comforting words.
Moments to share your love.

Moments D242: Yolanda for dinner

Today as I enjoyed the day with my family I realized just how far I’ve come in a year.  Last year at this time I was in a hurricane of emotion and pent up anger.  My world was upside down and I was trying to figure out the right direction to go.  2012 hasn’t been an easy year (far from it actually), but it has helped me to grow.
And I must send a beam if light out…..one of my best friends has also had a very rough year.  As I stop and reflect upon my challenges it is hard not to celebrate her growth as well.  And most importantly I know she would love the meal we had tonight, so she was often top of my mind today. 
Today was an incredible day with family and my aunt made one of my favorite childhood meals for dinner.  Yup.  Yolanda.  Seriously, it is called Yolanda.  It is a tomato based beef stew/sauce served over shell pasta and cheese. It is delightfully simple and tasty. I had 2.5 bowls of it tonight!  Yes I love it that much!
As the extended family asked about the recipe, I realized that my aunt didn’t know why it was called Yolanda.  So I shared the story with everyone.
This was a recipe that my Mom received from a friend many, MANY moons ago from a woman named Yolanda.  Why the recipe wasn’t known as Yolanda’s stew or Yolanda’s sauce I’ll never really know, but I assume that it was because as kids it was too complicated for my brother and I;Yolanda was simply easier.
So today, Yolanda is a recipe being shared out to extended family.  Huh.  I think that is very cool and that made me smile.  A recipe as one’s namesake.  Sure, definitely cool.
Moments with family & delightful food.
Moments to reflect.

Moments D241: Hand-me-downs

You know, when I was a young girl I had mixed feelings about hand-me-down clothes. I always enjoyed the rush of rummaging through the clothes, but there was always this sense of disappointment too. The wrong size, a strange pattern, a weird colour. Somehow, things just didn’t seem to be right. That sense of disappointment eventually overshadowed the rush of new clothes.

Today’s moment: Realizing that hand-me-downs as an adult rocks!

Maybe it was just the pains of growing up and not being a standard size/shape. Maybe it was because I was high on hormones and nothing seemed right. Whatever the cause, tonight when my Mom asked me if I’d like to try on some of her old clothes that she was giving away….I gave it a shot. In the end, was actually pretty excited about possibly having a couple of new, interesting pieces of clothing to add to my collection. And, the icing on the cake: it all fit. Huh. How things can shift!

Today’s moment is about revisiting old behaviours/expectations with a new perspective.

Moments D240: The World has not Ended

This is no laughing matter! Today was supposed to be the end of the world as we know it. After all the Mayan calendar ends today. It was to mark the end of civilization. (Who said we were so damned civilized in the first place?) In the end, it’s just another Winter Solstice coming to pass.

I thought I should dedicate today’s blog to the world not ending. Why not right? It’s the talk of the day and it has forced many upon the earth to stop and reflect. This really isn’t a bad thing!

Of course I too took a moment to reflect and ponder my path. Had the world ended today, how would I feel? (Besides being dead of course!)

Overall, I think I’d be pretty content. I’ve managed to do quite well for myself. I’ve survived dark moments and been present for some of the best soul filling moments. I’ve learned and grown much over my years on the earth and I know I haven’t lost that passion or drive for life.

I’ve decided that I am pretty happy that I’m still here. I kinda like my life. I like knowing that I’ll have an opportunity to continue to grow, learn and love. I like knowing that my bucket list is still something I can work on. I like knowing I still have time to explore this beautiful world around us.

And so, as the clock/calendar is reset for another 5125 years I look forward to new experiences and adventures. I am thankful to all the beautiful people in my life. I am also thankful to those that challenge me too. We all need darkness to appreciate the light. As we head back into longer days, I send out light and love to all - may we all dig a little deeper!

Moments to be thankful.

Moments to reflect.

Moments D239: Snowflakes

Today was quite the productive day. Amazing what you can get done when you focus and stick to a plan.

And today, I managed to squeak in the time to get my nails done for the holidays. I’ve been waiting to try this new dark green glitter nail polish. The Christmas holiday seemed like the best time for it (as red really isn't my colour - only on very special occasions!)

As we were doing my nails, I asked if we could put a snowflake design on my thumbs. My esthetician was quite excited by the idea! In the end, her design looked so great that she decided to do her thumbs that way for Christmas too!

And yet, that wasn’t the moment that brought the biggest smile. It was actually when I was back home later that evening wrapping presents for the fun with family to come. Every time I creased the colourful paper and I saw my new snowflakes I smiled. It was an evening of smiles!


Check it out:



So - thank you to my girls at Five Star Nails. They always find a way to make me feel special when I visit them, and this time, that smile follows me on my thumbs!

Moments to think outside the box.

Moments to appreciate simple things.

Moments D238: Kindness & Appreciation

This morning it was tough to get out of bed. I didn’t sleep well and I still had two things on my “to do” list from last night that I needed to get done this morning. (Ah, the joys of a creeping deadline!) But early in the day, it was already a two-special-moment kinda day!

Kindness:

Once I was moving and focused on getting things done things seemed to settle in a bit. I stopped at Tim’s for a couple of gift certificates (finishing my Christmas list - YES!). I felt badly for the gentleman behind me as he was waiting for the cashier & I to process the 5 cards I bought. I turned to him to apologize for the wait and he gave me a big ‘ol smile and said “Take your time. The longer the better. I’m in no rush.”

He was an older gentleman. He had a twinkle of kindness in his eye. He’ll never know just how much I needed to have that kindness shared with me, nor how that took the stress away from me (for running late to work, for holding him up etc.).

Appreciation:

Once I reached work, I received a Christmas card from a fellow employee that literally brought tears to my eyes. Now this is a man that I look up to. He’s brilliant. He’s been in the advertising industry for nearly as long as I’ve been on the earth. He’s a fountain of knowledge and laughter. His words were simple, but they touched me deeply. I impress him and he appreciates me. I was literally stunned. I re-read the card three times before I collected myself and went to his office to give him a hug.

Moments of random kindness.

Moments of hard work paying of.

Moments D237: Mind Meld

You know those moments where you think of something and it either happens exactly as you had hoped (or envisioned) or those moments where someone close to you reads your mind?

Well that happened to me today and it brought the biggest smile to my face!

Tonight I was out last minute Christmas shopping with someone very important and close to me. I’m not so good with last minute shopping as I find it stressful. It’s busy, it’s crowded and people are usually not in the best of moods. The list was long and time was short, but surprisingly we made use of every moment with smiles and laughter and we even managed to get dinner in earlier than expected. (A good thing since I was hungry when we started shopping….and those that know me know that when I’m hungry, grumpy isn’t far around the corner!)

We were driving two cars as we met at the Toy store right after work. On the way home, I was thinking I really should stop at Starbucks on the way and pick up the gift certificates on my list. The next thing I know, I’m following his car into the parking lot of Starbucks. Yup. Mind meld. Very cool.

Moments realizing that someone’s paid attention to your words.

Moments appreciating that realization.

Moments D236: Horse Eyes

Today I went to see a plastic surgeon for a lipoma in my back. It’s not very big, nor would most see it, but it bothers me when I’m working out and I've had it for a few years now.

The doctor that I was a very sweet gentle soul with a huge sense of humour. He asked me if I had any children. When he found out I hadn't, his response: GOOD! That’s not a typical response and I must admit it was a breath of fresh air. It certainly got us off to a good start!

After inspecting my lipoma we discussed age spots. I have one appearing on my face and so I took off my glasses and showed him. He literally pulled me into the light to see, tilted my head by my chin to find the right angle to best see and when I turned to look at him as he explained possible procedures he said “Wow, you really have beautiful eyes. Ha. It’s like I’m inspecting a horse. How are your teeth.” Random. But VERY funny - we both had a chuckle!

A moment to laugh with a stranger.

A moment of silly.

Moments D235: Bills towels

Today I went to my first NFL game. I didn’t know what to expect, but I certainly had hoped that it would be another incredible experience to add to my list.

And that it was. We were running late to get to the game. We missed the kickoff and by the time we had found our seats Seatle already had 14 points on the board. But Buffalo did get their first touchdown in the first quarter too.

And yes, the NFL knows how to do it BIG. Pyrotechnics, canons booming, waving flags and more. The game itself was lacking. (It was a blowout! There really wasn’t much of a competitive game happening.) The highly anticipated hotdog was sad too! (No sauerkraut, nor any pickles!) And while we were surrounded by many intoxicated fans, my moment came to me when I realized that we might be able to score a couple of the Bills towels that were handed out earlier on. People were dropping them left & right!

Side note: My mom is a HUGE Bills fan. Of course she was my first choice to join me on this new adventure. Sadly she had to pass as she had other commitments, but, knowing that she was torn to say no, I know that grabbing her a couple of towels from the game will bring her a very big smile the next time I see her.

And so, the search began for a towel for my Mom. In the end, it really wasn’t that hard - I could have picked up more than the four I went home with! (There were many abandoned at the end of the game!)

That’s my moment of the day, realizing that I’d be able to bring a piece of the game home for my Mom even though she wasn’t able to physically be there.

SCORE!

Moments D234: Playing with Dolls

Today was a busy day, but the best smiling moment was when I had an opportunity to sit with a new 8 year old friend. Today being the first time I met this lovely girl, I never thought we’d get along so well, after all there are many children that are shy at this age.

But not this vivacious eight-year old. She shared her cheer jumps with me (it helped that I had a friend that once coached a cheering squads, so I knew the terminology!) and then, once she opened her highly anticipated gift, she felt I was okay to share her new McKenna doll with me.

What a treat that was. We tried on each of the outfits she received along with the doll and we even did McKenna’s hair. It was quite cute and sweet to have shared that moment.

It took me back in time, to a place where my “nieces” were once this age. Back further in time to when I’d sit and play with my dolls only to get bored of them and then find my brother to crash up some GI Joe things.

Yes it was a good moment with much depth.

Moments in the present and new future.

Moments in memories.

Moments D233: Inspired

Those that know me, know that I’m not very good at taking compliments. In fact I can be quite awkward and uncomfortable with them.

Today I was completely caught off guard with a compliment. It’s been nearly two years now since I dropped 45lbs and have managed to get myself into the best shape I think I’ve ever been in. (Of course, that being said, I’ve put 8lbs back on, but I’m still in better shape than ever!)

Tonight, one of my co-workers and I were discussing the merits of exercise and eating habits. The lifestyle change and the commitment to it. For me, it was pretty simple. Calories in had to be less than calories out. I worked out daily (even if I was tired, I still dragged myself out of bed and did Yoga on those mornings) for many months, I monitored what I was eating and tried to choose more healthy ways to enjoy food. But I never restricted myself. If I ate a Big Mac (one of my favourite bad treats), then I just made sure I worked that much harder in my workout the next day and cut back on the calories that day.

For me, it worked. I feel better than ever before. I’m less regimented now (thus the 8lbs back), but I’m also feeling as though I’ve settled into a new healthier lifestyle. (too much of anything can be a bad thing!)

Near the end of our conversation I was told that I was an inspiration to others. That there were people in the office that talked about me and my journey to a more fit, healthy me. That this story of mine was inspiring to others to take steps to take better care of themselves. WOW. Who knew. I was pretty surprised to hear this news and it made me smile. What an incredible feeling that gave me. Of course it made me smile.

BONUS here? I think I managed to be less awkward with the compliment too.

Moments to share stories and challenges.

Moments to graciously receive compliments.

Moments D232: Parallels

Sometimes it shocks me at the number of parallels that happen in lives. I suppose it shouldn't. After all, we all walk paths that take us towards similar experiences. But every once in awhile something really shakes me and reminds me that we are all emotional beings. We all have fear, anger, happiness, joy, love….and I think we are all working towards understanding those on a deeper level. It’s emotion that bind us, that stretch us beyond ourselves and connect us.

Today’s moment, connecting with a dear friend of mine over some of her current life challenges. We had a deep discussion on the fear of being vulnerable. I don’t think I know of anyone that isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. It may be front and centre and we’re aware of it, or it could be something that is deep within and hidden. Fear can be so detrimental to a relationship, be it a love interest, a family member or a best friend. But what are we if we are not open to ourselves and those around us? We’re but a shell of self.

So today, I smile knowing that the discussion I had with my dear, dear friend has inspired us both to be a little less fearful about being vulnerable. We have both had moments in the last year that have caused us to be fearful of vulnerability. We both like to be in control and we have worked through moments of letting go. Parallels. In the end of our discussion, we acknowledged the fear, accepted it as being purposeful and realized that we mustn’t allow it to drive us. Awareness.

So today’s moment, celebrating a conversation. Celebrating my dear, dear friend and her growth within and without.

Moments acknowledging fear.

Moments being completely open and accepting vulnerability.

Moments D231: Cute Hats

Today was a challenging day as I struggled to find my direction in the big picture. And yet, it was a productive day (a bonus as there is much to do!).

The smile tonight came while I was stuck in traffic. There was a gent crossing the street at one point wearing one of these:



How could I not smile?

Jack Skellington smiling at me.

Cute.

And a moment to smile.

Moments D230: Street Light Sighs

Today was final exam day. The first in a year. I was into work early so I could get out early to get my head into the game. Just a couple of hours before my exam to pull myself out of work and back into my school world. There was much to cover over the past couple of days and I wasn’t sure if I was ready.

Those that know me, know that I am a perfectionist. Doing my best isn’t good enough. I don’t want to do well or good. I want to have great results. I want to exceed. Being great, for me, takes dedication and work. Believe me, I’ve tried to lessen my expectations (for my own sanity!), but it isn’t easy for me. For me, I’m willing to put in the time and energy as it makes me feel like I have accomplished something.

Of course on the other side of that coin is the pain that comes with not doing so great. That’s what happened for my midterm in this course. Not so great. It was fine though (in the bigger picture of things) and it was slightly above average. (I know, I know, what am I complaining about right?) But that’s not good enough, so I push even harder to try and ensure that my final exam picks up the slack.

But, here’s the kicker, I don’t like tests and exams. I actually get quite nervous about them. So, to deal, I put my blinders on. I focus only on the goal at hand and I end up a bunch of racing nerves by the time I sit down to write my exam.

Top all that off with this: Tonight, getting to my exam was a challenge as traffic was slower than I had anticipated. (Ramping up the anxiety of being late!) Then as I pulled into my typical parking garage, with 20 minutes to spare (not so late after all!) I realize that the parking attendant is changing the paper on the machine to let us in. I’m now trapped in a line of cars trying to park underground. Three songs on the radio go by. I’m actively calming my nerves and talking myself down. It’s okay if I show up 5-10 minutes before we start. Sure it is. (NO! Not really!) And then we finally start to move. I’m parked and getting out of the car with only 10 minutes to spare before my exam begins.

I boot it from my car and bound up the stairs and burst through the doors outside. As I’m rushing down the path to my classroom, the street light beside me sighs into life. In the time that it took me to walk to it and pass it, it was fully lit, but it was slow to light and in those brief seconds I slowed, I noted the light turning on as I passed it AND I SMILED.

And I took a breath. I walked a less urgently to my class after that moment. I wasn’t late in the end, not even after slowing my pace. I breathed a little easier after that moment and felt a lot more centred and ready for my exam.

Strange how it’s the little things that can make such an impact!

And for those of you curious about the exam - well, I think it was okay. It seemed tricky in places (as I expected), but I’m sure I did okay. Is that enough? I won’t know until 3-4 weeks from now. I’m just happy to have another course completed.

Moments of raw nerves and anxiety melting away with a sigh.

Moments to be centred.

Moments D229: It's good to see you

Today was a bit of a struggle. Energies were swirled around me. Some things have come to completion, while others have begun to unravel. As the busiest time of year ends for most of my team at work, my own job digs in a little deeper into the craziness. And as I ramp up for the end of this semester, I realize, I really haven’t been a good student and I’m struggling to get through all the material.

Yes, there is much going on. Fortunately, I know I can get through it. I’ve had much more on my plate in the past. This should be a walk in the park. And yet, I feel the drag.

It’s the emotional stuff that’s really eating at me more than the things that need to be done. Questions about friends and feeling left out, worries about other friends and their family and general doubts about my ability to lead. And while there are a couple of very important, loving people in my circle that have been there for me, I’m feeling ever more abandoned by others and it’s been building over the past few weeks/months.

I suppose this is something that happens when you tear a life apart and rebuild it. For the most part I can logically walk my way through the why’s and how’s of it all. But sometimes, it’s just easier to sit in the darkness. To believe the worst. To wallow.

There were two moments today when a flash of light was thrown on me. The first a message from 3000+ miles away. A smile just as I needed it after a particularly negative encounter. Reassurance that I can make a difference.

But the biggest unexpected smile came from a near-stranger in Shoppers.

I have shopped at this particular Shoppers for as many years as it’s been there. I would recognize most of the cashiers on the street if I ran into them, but I don’t know their names, nor have I shared many a full conversation with them. Today, one of the ladies that I haven’t seen in a long while was back working at the front cash. As we did our typical ritual, I noted to her that it’s been a long time since I had last seen her. She informed me that she had been on maternity leave and we shared a few pleasantries as she rang through my items. Strange how time passes and how things change and we don’t always notice it. Then, as I was all packed up and heading out, she stopped me, looked me in the eye and said “it’s good to see you again”. Then she called for the next customer in line.

Sure, it might have been just her impeccable customer service skills kicking in, but it felt different. It felt genuine. And it gave me the biggest boost of light today. I don’t think I realized that I needed that boost until I had received it. Strange how sometimes the darkness can hide you. Stranger still that someone so peripheral in my life could make me feel that much better.

I left the store with a smile on my face. I smile as I share the story now.

If that’s not a good enough recommendation to be kind to others, I don’t know what is.

Moments to appreciate all people who cross your path.

Moments of unexpected kindness.

Moments D228: Unexpected Concerts

Today I slept in and then lounged in bed a bit.  It was warm and cozy unlike the cold, dreary day I awoke to. (Another perfect study day though!)

I was a good student. I worked hard to get through my notes. And I ploughed through quite a bit! But, I won't lie, I was bored.  So, when I was asked to fill for an a cappella concert, I really couldn't resist!

Company that made me smile, music that made me sing, and a group that was inspiring to watch.

The best moment at this unexpected concert outing tonight was when the "meat and potatoes" worked with the crowd to create an interactive song. (of course I sang along!) It was absolutely fantastic!

And yes - we bought the CD. Actually BOTH. Their Christmas CD too! Check out their rendition of "Carol of the Bells".
Moments to enjoy an unexpected concert with beautiful voices.

Moments with the music.

Moments D227: Rainy Study Days

Today started with a fabulous 90 minute massage. (Sadly, the last of the year as I just found out that my coverage is now over with the ex.) But that’s not what brought me today’s smile (even though it was rather amazing!)

Today’s smile came to me when I was leaving my massage to head home for a long hard day of studying for my final. It was raining. It was cold. And it was a PERFECT day to dive into my textbook and notes to study.

Sometimes things align just perfectly. Today was one of those days. Having a grey cold day outside makes it that much easier to tuck in and focus on what needs to be done. And hey, I managed to still squeak in some time last night to finish up season one of Sons of Anarchy (though I did fall asleep during the last episode!).

Moments focused on the task at hand.

Moments when the universe agrees!

Moments D226: Sparkling Water

Today: a long day in the office filled with issues that needed to be dealt with at every turn. Late to arrive home and I fixed myself a quick, but tried and true dinner. Okay, maybe it’s not a REAL dinner, and it certainly doesn’t stand up to my typical palate, but it does the job when you’re making dinner at 8pm and trying to get organized for your coming weekend of studying!

Today’s smile came from finally opening my Cyber Monday 50% off deal. A Sodastream. A PURPLE Sodastream at that! Yes, thank you BFF for keeping me in the loop at that!

As the evening wore on, I realized I’ve had over a litre of bubbly water to drink this evening. And I drank it along side some K-D and cottage cheese. Huh. Talk about strangely paired partners.

So as I finish making my second bottle of sparkling water within a 4 hour time period, I guess it’s safe to say I kinda love my new Sodastream!

Moments to enjoy new toys.

Moments to enjoy one’s water.

Moments D225: Spectators part two

Tonight my parents were in town as they wanted to be in the city for an early morning appointment tomorrow. Tonight was also my volleyball night. I suggested they come to cheer me on tonight.

And so they did!

I won’t lie, I was a little nervous to have my parents sitting there watching. It has been many, MANY years since they’ve seen me play court volleyball.

Fortunately I played well, even though I was tired from a bad night of sleep and a hectic day at work. And in the end we fought hard to win our second match. Wooot! Splitting our matches, a good result after many losses!

Post volleyball we had a quick, late dinner and home to bed. It was a quick visit and catch up but, as always, a loving one.

Hopefully the appointment goes well and is informative tomorrow.

Moments to share with family.
Moments to shine in their love.

Moments D224: Tasty Italian Dinners

Those that know me, know just how much I love food. Honestly, it’s a shame that I can’t enjoy seafood (it upsets my stomach) because I think if I could I’d be a more rounded food taster! But, that being said, I still do my best to explore the world of food every day.

Tonight we went to a cute Italian restaurant attached to a Best Western of all places. It’s not a place that I’d typically stop in to test, but ages ago it was the only Italian restaurant open on one Sunday when I had a hankering for Italian. Tonight we revisited said restaurant. Mickele’s is quite delightful and the gentleman that served us in the summer remember us in our parkas as we were leaving the restaurant this time. He said the same thing tonight as he did months ago. ”We’ll see you tomorrow.” This made me smile then as it did tonight.

Yes, if you are ever in the area, give Mickele’s a try. Delicious, great, friendly service and a huge roomy, comfortable patio (for the summer) and warm ambiance inside.

Moments to meet new people.

Moments with great food.

Moments D223: MY car

After driving a crappy rental car for the past 5 days, I realize just how much I love MY car. She’s peppy and she’s cute.

And, while the rental we had was cute, boy, oh boy was it a sloth!

Yes, I’m happy to be driving my cute Hyundai Veloster again.

Moments appreciating your own.

Moments zipping around in your car, seat warmers ON!

Moments D222: Home Coming

It’s funny because as much as I love to travel and explore new places, there really isn't any place like home. 

After a lovely getaway to Arizona for 5 days with MANY adventures, beautiful moments, stories and photos to share it’s still nice to be sleeping in my own bed tonight.

Today’s moment. My bed. MY bed.

Yes, I am happy to be home.

Ah……

Moments to appreciate one’s trip.

Moments to enjoy the stillness of home.

Moments D221: What fear of Heights?

Yesterday I mentioned that my “older sister” had a fear of heights. This morning she and I went on a hot air balloon ride. Yes. You read that correctly.

Now those of you who know me, know that this is right up my alley and likely an adventure that I would have suggested for us to partake in. You would be wrong in that assumption. (What’s that old saying about assumptions….?) This adventure was something that my “older sister” wanted to do free and clear of any input from myself.

Seriously! I swear! In fact my “older sister” made arrangements so that we could stay an extra night just so we could get up early to meet the sun at the horizon. (Of course, who am I to say no? After all, I am who I am! I definitely wanted to join in on this adventure!) As the sun rose, so did we in our hot air balloon high into the silence of the cold morning.

What a beautiful adventure it was, despite the cold and despite the nerves I know she felt. It was such a beautiful, calm, silent moment, watching the sun poke up over the mountain range. And it was a soul recharging moment to feel the heat of its rays upon our faces.

So today, I celebrate yet another huge step made by my “older sister” in her fear of heights (yesterday was climbing/hiking). I have been inspired by her motivation to push her limits. I have been inspired by her positive spirit and belief in herself, for I heard her tell another friend tonight “if I can do it, YOUcan do it.”

Yes she was digging deeper and for that I respect my “older sister” that much more. If only we all pushed ourselves a little harder every day as I watch her do over the past couple of days.

Moments to forget fear.

Moments to celebrate the silence of nature from 2000+ feet above ground.

Moments D220: Surpassing Fears

Today had a nice slow start to the day, but it quickly became another adventure filled day within beautiful surroundings.

Today my “older sister” (as she likes to be called) and I went hiking. Now these trails are not your ordinary path trails in the woods. Each trail has been labelled as either EASY, MODERATE, or STRENUOUS. After doing a little research, we managed to pick one of the hundreds of trails in this area.

This one was labelled as MODERATE. Of course, we assumed “no problem”! Well….what we didn’t know is that, while the first part of the trail is quite easy to navigate, the mid-section of the trail is quite steep with approximately a 600 ft climb using footholds and “scrambling” up the rocks.

To back track: It was only recently that I learned that my “older sister” was afraid of heights. (In her words, it’s not about the height, it’s about the fall!) BUT, little did I know that this kind of hiking/climb was something she’s ever attempted before!

I didn’t realize this new tidbit until we were well into the steep part of the hike/climb. And yet, while I could see the trepidation in her face, my “older sister” was pushing through the fear. I helped her navigate some of the trickier spots and cheered her on through her uncertain moments. We celebrated along the way of her successes and in the end she made great leaps in how she tackled the steepness of it all.

And then, we hit a spot that required a bit of a leap of faith. It was a BIG step up with small footholds. It required confidence to believe that once you stepped up you’d find yourself on solid and flat ground. This was the breaking point for my dear sweet ”older sister”. She wasn’t ready to take that step and I understood that was the time to stop cheering and start congratulating her on such steps taken. She, of course, felt like she had failed. I completely (and quickly) disagreed with her - she DID NOT FAIL. She took BIG steps forward to surpass her fears and SHE ACCOMPLISHED SO MUCH.

We then walked another trail after that for about an hour. It was an easier one with less navigating to do. Eventually we looped back to the first trail *where the car was parked) and as we looked up to the steep climb my “older sister” commented on how surprised she was that she had made it that far into the climb. We took a moment and celebrated her success once again.

For the rest of the evening she lamented over the fact that she didn’t make it to the top. Each and every time I reminded her just how much she HAD accomplished.

(why is it that it’s so damn easy to forget the success and focus on the rest?)

It’s incredible that my “older sister” pushed herself so hard today and *I*, for one, am damn proud of her! As the night closes, I think she’s starting to respect her steps taken in surpassing her fear. That is a moment to celebrate.

Moments of digging deeper and believing.

Moments of celebrating the successes.