Moments D738: Juggling means knowing your limits

It's been a long time since I have be available to write!  My how time flies.  I know, I've not kept my promise, but I honestly did not expect to be as busy as I was while in school.  Looking back, I was a bit mad to take 6 core courses at the same time with the same level of expectation.  It was not only mentally challenging, but it was a challenge to manage priorities for each of the classes.  Given that they were all fourth year classes, I'm proud to share that not only did I survive the semester, I managed to maintain my GPA.  (Though secretly, I am hoping to bump it up come the last fall semester course in September!)

What was my biggest take-away from my first full time semester of school as an adult?  I think it was admitting to myself that I couldn't do it all.  I had to triage and pick & choose my projects and time spent working on certain aspects of class work.  For example, there were many group projects over the semester (too many honestly!) and my course load necessitated that I could not offer the time commitment to take the reins and manage the group.  In one particular case, that was a completely disastrous decision (we failed the project).  In another, it was smooth sailing and we ended up with an A on the project.  Further, there were projects that I realized I simply would not have the time I would have liked to research or dedicate to in depth editing.  How incredibly hit and miss and all I could do was go with the flow.  I learned to accept that I could offer no more within the time constraints, given that I often had conflicting priorities.  It was the 80/20 rule working in real life.  For the most part, it served me well.

The bigger question, I realize looking back, is can I really dial my style back to 80/20?  I'm not so sure.  While I see the value in it, I always felt like things were not finished to the best of my ability....and the grades definitely reflected that.  After all an A- (or B+) is simply not as impressive as an A+.  Still, does it matter?  No, not really.  That comes from a place of ego.  I like knowing that I've exhausted my tool set and done my best.  Is that wrong?  Some would say yes, it's inefficient.  Others would suggest that it becomes a creative driving force.  Me, I'm still on the fence about it.  (That's the joy of life, always learning and growing.)

These past five months have zipped by.  I left my job of 13 years so I could go back to school full time and get my degree finally completed.  I managed to successfully complete a tough full time semester of school, married the man I love and photographed the first ever Wingsuit World Cup Performance Flying competition.  It's been a whirlwind 5 months and as the sixth month of the year begins, I am ready to embark on my next adventures, including a new job with a company that has been seen as “the competition” for the past 13 years.  It is going to be an interesting year, no doubt about that.

I've rather missed sharing my meanderings, having some quite "brain time", but time has not been my friend.  I have been chasing the clock for far too many months now and I am eager to finally have things slow down.  

Sadly, I'm afraid that things will not slow down anytime soon, though I am hopeful.  The outstanding "To Do" list feels daunting; all I can do is take it one task at a time.  The first big task – is studying for my CFP exam this coming Friday.  I am ill-prepared for it and I have the next four days for some serious cramming.  I know I have bit off more than I can chew and I’m ready for those consequences.  I can always re-write the exam in the fall….either way, it’s all very exciting, with the exam I’ll gain some insight/experience into the world of finance a little more and within two weeks I’ll start my new job, in the same industry as I’ve worked for the past 13 years.  While it will be like slipping on an old worn pair of gloves, it will be gloves being used for a new purpose.  It's exciting and frightening all at the same time, for I've never been good at selling myself and I haven’t yet had the time to determine what the best direction is for me.  A comfortable worn glove is comforting and I look forward to the challenge of understanding the industry from a new perspective.  

The next 7 months will be a lot of soul searching as EQ and I determine where/what we do in 2016.  I’ll officially have completed my degree and we will have many more options open to us.  Sometimes too many choices can be paralyzing!  All we can do is process them as they come.

I suppose that is my moment from these past five months:  recognizing that I don’t have to juggle everything all the time.  I can leave some of the balls on the ground and wait before adding more to my plate.  This is not an easy behaviour for me, but I have learned that I CAN do it.    

Moments choosing the most important projects to be juggled.  Moments knowing that you don’t have to pick up all the balls.  

Moments 735: On fire!

I've officially been a full time student for a month now.  It has been an interesting transition going from a full-time career driven person to a student.  I've been an active working citizen since I was 15 and hey, if you include my paper-route, I was working, making money, since I was 11 years old.  So imagine, having been a part of the work force for nearly 3 decades and then suddenly not being.

Yes.  It's been an interesting transition.

But I have been enjoying it.  I'm on fire with all my classes.  Six of them actually.  I only have 7 to finish off before I'm done my degree, so there is one straggler that I'll need to take this coming fall (but only because it's not offered in the winter!).  It's so close I can IMAGINE the finish line.  Only 72 days left before 98% of my degree is DONE.  (Yes - I'm counting down!)

So how is it that I'm juggling 6 classes, marketing for a new book written by my most awesome guy and helping a friend out with his resume?  Time Management.  It's all about knowing what is coming, when it's due and how much time it's going to take to get things ready.  

So what did I do to find balance in my new world?  I created a spreadsheet.  I know, I know, I get teased all the time for "putting my life" into a spreadsheet, but hey, it works!  Six classes, colour coded with expected deliverable dates; it's a quick easy visual way to understand what is happening and how I need to focus my time.  From that quick list, I set up weekly appointments detailing out all my readings and assignments that need to be done on a weekly basis.  Whenever I have a spare moment, I have a textbook in hand reading.

So far, it's been an interesting shift.  The first week, I was lazy about it.  The second week I woke up and realized that this was real and happening and sorted myself out and started the "catch up game" with my list of "to do's".  Last week, I started four projects, three of which were due this week and one big one due next week.  It feels good to really dive in.

Yes, I'm on fire.

Here we go, blazing a trail.

Moments realizing that you have a new path.
Moments recognizing you are in the groove of that new path!

Moments D732: A new Season begins

Today was the first real snowfall of the season.  It's surprising given it's only November 15th. It is early.  Some would say too early.

To be fair, wasn't much of a snowfall, but it was cold enough that it stayed on the ground - a nice light covering.  It nicely juxtaposed with the orange of the leaves that have only just fallen to the ground.

With the change in season comes a change in focus.  I'm nearing the end of this semester and studying for my final (in only two days!).  My focus this semester has not really been on my studies, and I'm certainly feeling the pain of that now.  The time it's taking me to catch up only proves that point!  (That said, I did enjoy my time with EQ this semester!)  Studying this weekend has been a buckle-down-get-'er-done kind of weekend.  Talk about focus! 

The change in season brings another shift in focus.  As this semester comes to a close, so too does a very large chapter in my life.  Next semester, only 45 days away, I will be going back to school full time.  It's not really my choice to head back full time, but I've reached a point in my degree where I am bound by a timeline expectation from the university.  I am to be done my degree by December 2015.  In order to best make that happen, I need to take five (yes 5!) classes next semester.

Talk about a change in season!  My goal, if the powers that be allow it, is to work part-time and school full-time (essentially swap my time around!)  I barely remember a time when I did five courses at the same time.  I'm not entirely certain that my mind will be able  to manage all that information at the same time!  Fortunately I think my time management skills are 150% better now than what they were back in 1994!

It will be a change in season too because I will shift gears from immigration and jobs to planning for our wedding - just under 170 days from today.  Our ceremony will be a small, intimate gathering.  Regardless of its size, I want it to be a beautiful reflection of the amazing couple we are.  It needs to be perfect....as perfect as my partner and I are together (which is not to say we don't have our faults!  We're just perfect together!).  Invitations, a dress, a bathing suit, a reception of some kind when we get home for everyone to celebrate with us.....yes, many details to flush out yet.  I am eager to have time to focus on this frivolous celebration of our love.   I love this man like I've never known love to be before.  I look forward to celebrating us, without all of life's complications.    It will be incredible to celebrate the depth of love joy we have with one another with those we love and cherish in our lives.  

Heralding in a new season brings with it the passing of the old season.  As many are now lamenting over the distant days of summer and the brevity of our autumn,  I find myself now looking fondly back in time as well.  There is a sense of fear to look forward to the changes coming.  No, that would be a lie.  I am terrified.  I can't admit that outloud as that only makes me seem weak, but I am terrified.   This season that is coming to a close has been comfortable.  Even though it hasn't been easy, it's been comfortable and, for the most part, predictable.  Looking forward, to the season that is on my doorstep, I fear the lack of understanding of what's to come.  What will I be able to control and what must I let go uncontrolled and deal with it?

To keep it short, I fear failing.  I fear the stress that is inevitable.  I fear what that will do to my beautiful relationship.  I fear what I will (or won't) be  doing for work.  And while, for some, my need to talk about my fears seems like wasted breaths, for me, talking about them helps to take away their mystery.  Their power over me somehow falls away when I speak of them out loud.  I think it's a way for me to help create and/or fortify my White Daemons.  For me, not talking about the anxiety that is rising within me only compounds my fear.    

And so, dear readers, I have now shared my anxiety at the turn of the coming season with you.  It's another way for me to ponder how I'm feeling and how I will walk through the challenges ahead.  I know that I am strong.  I know that I will fight through the hard days and find the light at the end of this very, very long school tunnel.  No matter what, I will get it done.   (I always do!)  But that doesn't mean that I'm not anxious about it.  

It's going to be an intense winter and I'm not entirely certain I have the capacity within me to juggle as much as will be hitting me come January.

Moments feeling sad at the change in season.

Moments celebrating the season to come.

Moments D723: SURVIVED

Today I wrote the final exam for a class that I never thought I'd have to take. (It was a course that was not required curriculum when I started my degree part time years ago, but now, over time it's become part of the curriculum.)

I actually managed to have enough time to finish the exam (unlike our midterm where I felt very short and didn't finish the exam!) and as I walked away from that class room for the last time this semester, I could help but feel a sense of relief.

I had survived. I will pass this course, no doubt about it.

Done.

Next?

Moments feeling good about all the work you put in to survive.

Moments enjoying that second where relief sets in.

Moments D713: Take a break!

Today was another day dedicated to school.  That said, I slept in, enjoyed a cup (or two) of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee and had a good long "wake-him-up" chat with EQ (he's at NAB!) before I dove into the pages and pages of information I had to read.

Instead of ploughing through the day as I normally would, ignoring the outside world entirely, I decided to take Heini up on her offer - a coffee break.  And so late afternoon, tea time if you will, I headed out to meet her and another friend for a coffee.

I was diligent.  I was only gone for 1.5 hours.  Sure a long coffee break, but given that it would have been easy to spend the rest of the late afternoon/evening catching up, I'm pretty proud of myself for (a) getting out and taking a break at all and (b) sticking to my guns and not being longer than an hour over coffee.  (I know, I know it was actually 1.5 hours all said and done.  That's not so far off the mark, right?)

I had a great (short) visit with Heini and her friend.
I had a productive day with my readings.
And I made some banana bread to share with Heini.

My moment:  taking a break.

I could (should!) get used to this.

Moments hitting pause and enjoying a beautiful spring day.
Moments realizing you can still be productive even if you take a break.

Moments D702: Perfect...or not.

Sometimes hard work pays off.  Actually, come to think of it, at least in my experience, hard work nearly always pays off.  In this case, it definitely paid off.

We received our tests back tonight in class.  I scored a perfect 100%!  Wow.  I haven't done that in a very, very long time.  What a sweet surprise!

And then, we dig into the answers.  It wasn't long before I realized that I hadn't scored perfect on this test after all.  No!  I missed a mark on the third question.  Curious.

Turn the page and AH HA! I landed the bonus question!

Sweet.  Of course, now I realize I could have ended up with 110% on this test.  How wild would that be?

Pretty wild.  But hey, I'll take perfect!

Moments being pleasantly surprised.

Moments seeing your hard work pay off.

Moments D660: It's done. Phew.

Another midterm under my belt.  I survived it.  It wasn't pretty, but I wasn't really expecting it to be.  The first part wasn't as hard as I expected.  The last part, sadly, was harder than I expected.  Of course, that last question was worth the most on this test.

Was I disappointed in my performance?  Yes.  I ran out of time.  I know, with more time, I would have offered up a better tax report for that final question.  I simply ran out of time.  I wasn't fast enough in applying the knowledge I had in my brain ad it's going to cost me dearly.

But, as disappointed as I was, I found myself shaking it off quicker than ever.  I was very much looking forward to being home and curling up with EQ on the couch for a couple of hours before heading to bed.  I know how hard the past few days have been on him, on me and on us.

And so, I stopped on my way home and picked up dinner for the two of us.  When I arrived home, I could tell that his bad day had gotten the best of him too.  With both of us licking wounds, we ate in a content silence as we watched a couple of Ted Talks.

At one point, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it.  He said no.

At another point in time, he asked me if I wanted to talk about my midterm.  I declined.

And shortly after that, we decided to end this day, crawl in bed and pull the covers over our head.

Phew.  It's done.  This day is finally over.  Now for sleep and to begin anew tomorrow with a refreshed view on how to tackle the next half of this semester.

Moments struggling with the day's events.

Moments realizing it's not so bad and after a good night's sleep, it will barely be a blip on the screen.

Moments D656: Study breaks

Today was day one of hard core studying for my coming midterm.  I haven't been a very diligent student to date this semester and it's showing.  Between unexpected distractions to a shift in life priorities, my readings have taken a back seat to other things.

Today, there was no more delaying.  It was time to dig in, and dig in deep.

And I'm learning.  Not only the subject that I'm supposed to be focused on, but about taking better care of myself.  I paused mid-day and had a good catch up with BFF.  I took micro-breaks throughout the day and caught up with EQ.  I also ended the day earlier than I normally would so that EQ and I could enjoy a date night together.

Looking back, it's been a good, productive day.  I feel a little uneasy with the work left to do before my midterm, but in the end, I'm also trying to let go of my need for that A+.  Really.  Is that so darn important?Nope.  Definitely not.  It's time that need take a back burner.  It hasn't been easy for me to shift gears, but I can feel the shift more than ever.

That said, tomorrow I'll start a little earlier and work a little later to get more of what I feel I need to get done.  What can I say, I'm slow to shift.

Moments focusing on the back-burner.

Moments realizing that I don't need to push quite so hard.

Moments D646: Post Quiz Revelations

Today was not an easy day.  I haven't been feeling well.   I have also been trying to get back into the swing of school and failing miserably at finding my groove.  My mind has been filled with work "to dos" and my body and mind have been too tired to really dig into extra work or school readings.  Not a good combination given that I had my first quiz this evening in class.

Fortunately, I was spaced out enough that I didn't really stress too much about my first quiz.  It was only worth 10% of my final mark.  No problem.  I can swallow that and make up for it if I need to.  (right?) It was okay that I hadn't read all my chapters.  I had my class notes and had walked through the problems assigned to me.  I should be able to survive the quiz and that would be good enough. (right?)

Good enough.  What?  A year ago I would have been really stressed over the missed readings and extra time devoted to thoroughly understanding the material before this quiz.  Not tonight.  No, not tonight.  Who the heck am I?

It's one thing to logically talk yourself into "this is okay" and another thing entirely to believe it once you walk away from that conversation.  (In my case, a conversation with myself!)  And I wasn't entirely convinced that I was believing that it was okay until  today's moment happened.

Today's moment happened just after meeting up with EQ, Comic Guy and Archie for a late dinner and drink.  I really was okay with the fact that I likely didn't do well on this quiz.  I believed it.  It wasn't just lip service.  It was that moment when I admitted to Archie that I was okay even though I'm certain that my quiz did not go well.  That moment that was the tiniest of blips in my day, but it was a significant one looking back on it.

Instead we sat and had big meaningful life changing conversations.  It was incredible and empowering.

That said, you know it means that I'm not going to fight like hell to do much, much better on the rest of my tests in this class, but for this moment, I was okay with "good enough".

Moments recognizing self-growth.

Moments knowing (and believing) that the golf balls in your life really are more important.

Moments D632: First Day (evening) of School

The first day of school, even after this many years, is always a day (or evening in my case) of hope, of some excitement to learn something new (even if it is about taxes), of the anxiousness of meeting new interesting people and where there is an expectation of doing well.

No problem. I can tackle this.

Easy.  I'll have lots of time to dig into the readings and be a good student.

And then the prof says to expect at least 10 hours of work outside of the 3 hours of class to do well.

Dang.  {brushes off a bit of disappointment, knowing this will be a full attention course}

No problem.  I can tackle this.

Moments enjoying your first day of class.

Moments knowing that the hard work you put into it will show in the end.
(just like most things!)

Moments D464: Cleansing Rains

Today started early for me as I had a few things I needed to go over before my final exam.  Time this morning flew by and before I knew it, I was up to my eyes in planning at work.  The day seemed to skip by and though it was an easier day at work, the day still carried a dark cloud.  This afternoon I had to share some concerning news with a co-worker of mine.  It was overdue.  Now in the loop, he too is ready to tackle any oddities that might come down the pipe.  

The late afternoon brightened with a call from a friend who had received some great news from a waiting room.  It was the best kind of news one can get coming from a waiting room.  Our conversation brought a quick smile to my face and the energy to plough through the rest of my tired day with a warmth in my heart.

And yet, underneath the warm fuzzies I was nervous.  I always get nervous before an exam.  No matter how much prep I do, I get nervous.  And though Chica noted that I "...was holding it all together damn well...", underneath I was nervous.

Today's moment was beautiful!  I decided en route to my exam that I would take some time to breathe before my exam.  As I walked out of the parking garage and towards my classroom  I saw it - a present from the universe.  I held my breath.  There was my moment calling to me.  It was a bistro table with one chair overlooking the Ryerson pond.  I walked directly to it and sat down.  For the first five minutes I simply sat there and watched people come and go.  I smelled a wafting cloud of sweet smoke.  And then it began to sprinkle.  I sat there and pulled out my carefully typed up notes for one last round of reading.

As I sat there, a dog played in the water and the pigeons pecked at my feet.  My glasses were speckled with rain and my arms grew chilled.  I inhaled every moment of it, calming and preparing for the next two hours of writing out definitions and essays.

Before I knew it, my final came and went.  As usual, I over thought it.  The questions were challenging, but fair.  I'm sure I did well enough in the end.

As I left the building post-exam, I walked into the pouring rain.  I paused before heading to the parking garage and let the rains wash over me.  What perfect timing to be caught in a downpour. Another beautiful calm moment found despite the stress.  Another class down despite the distractions.

Moments to take pause to centre oneself.

Moments appreciating the pathetic fallacy of much needed cleansing rains.

Moments D353: Hard work

Today I was home from work studying for my final exam. A fresh snow on the ground melting away, the sky darkened with heavy clouds and winds wildly blustery. Truly a good day (again) to be inside. This made my day (and job as a student to focus) much easier!

Today’s moment was pausing a moment to appreciate my own hard work. Perhaps that sounds strange, but often there are days I push hard and I don’t take the time to stop and appreciate all that I’ve accomplished. Today, I took the time to do so.

Part of today’s realization as I took this moment of pause was a better understanding of self.

I’m an A student. Rarely I’ve had a B+ or (gasp) even one lonely B, but most of my courses have garnered an A+ result. Impressive? No, not really. Not for me at least. I realized that today.

It’s not that I’m not intelligent. I am, but I’m certainly no genius and those grades don’t come without hard work. (I won’t lie, I envy those that seem to just absorb information!) Me. I just work hard. This is a trait that I’m thankful for my parents giving me. It’s served me well over the years. In school, in my career, in relationships (even those failed) and in my health (as I think back to getting into better shape).

In the end I really do believe that my energy is like a simple math equation - it always has to be balanced, no matter whether the energy is coming or going. Energy in = Results Out (And no, there’s no entropy in my system - it’s all useful energy!) In other words, the energy that I put into something (a class, a relationship etc.) I feel I will see the output of that energy in a beneficial format. The more energy I put in (i.e. the harder I work) the better the results. And yes, within obviously physical limitations, I do believe that we can very much accomplish just about anything we set our minds to - with dedication and work.

Add a touch of perseverance and a lot of drive and the results can be surprising sometimes.

Today was one of those days. Hard work, perseverance through the sense of being overwhelmed by the material, and drive to keep going. I studied from 8am thru midnight. A small lunch break. And yes, not only did I get through all the material, I also managed to have a couple of magical moments whereCLICK - the pieces fell together and it was no longer necessary to memorize the information. It had become bigger than a piece of information, it became a process and ingrained in other processes I was familiar with. That CLICKmoment can be elusive. I was grateful to find it after a day of hard work.

I’m ready for this exam. It’s going to be great.

As Thomas Jefferson once said: ”I’m a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

Very, VERY true in my world.

Moments appreciating hard work.

Moments feeling prepared and ready to tackle that 50% final exam.

Moments D347: Push ups & Situps

Today was a hardcore study day. A full 12 hours. I barely moved from my dining room table which has been made into a makeshift desk. It’s completely covered with school stuff at the moment. My textbook, my laptop, my paper notebook, pens, pencils, random sticky notes, my trusty eraser and of course, random snack foods.  I am surrounded!  Truly - it’s a chaotic mess that looks like a hurricane came through. Of course, I know exactly where to find what I'm looking for!

Today’s moment was me deciding to do push ups & situps for my mini breaks during my study day. Yes really. That’s what I did. It was 10 push ups at a time and 20 situps at a time. Need I remind you….it was a long day. I ended up doing many situps and push ups! By the third/fourth round I couldn’t help but giggle at myself - a silly idea? Maybe, but fortunately, it also meant that by the end of the day, not only was my brain taxed and tired, so was my body.

So - I’m all for push ups and situps as a study break. But, that being said, I think tomorrow’s study day will include less physical exertion!

Moments to pause.

Moments of exercise both intellectually and physically.

Moments D343: Good News

First, I know it’s a bit lame for today’s moment to be about “good news”. It feels like I'm cheating the point of my blog with this title. Regardless of that small tarnished thought, I couldn't resist. Let me tell you why.

Today was just one of those days where the stars aligned. It felt like, with every action that happened, that good news was the flavour of the day. Plans clicked into place; people heard my words and actioned them; I heard people’s words and actioned them. My class group and I managed to tred our way through a mass of data and words and all agree upon a final write-up and I managed to find the right words in a couple of precarious points in the day. All of which lead to moments of good news.

That being said - it was actually great news to hear to hear words that validated my direction. It was great news to share positive comments with co-workers that very much made their days and it was great news to know that plans I've been working on at work have all started to fall into place. It is also GREAT news that my school group and I are 99% done our assignment (FINALLY!).  Maybe I've been remiss to call it only good news - it really was a day of GREAT news. The ebb and flow of such positive energy around me was truly delightful.

So today, I pause and celebrate good news. Good news for me, for my co-workers, and for my fellow students.

Now shaking the hot sauce bottle that didn’t have its lid tightened….not such good news. But I laughed instead of cursing. Yes, I think the positive energy surplus paid off in that particular moment of my day!

Moments knowing that good news can come in batches.

Moments appreciate each and every moment of good news.

Moments D342: Supererogation

This word came into my life sometime last year from a friend of mine from work. He was surprised at my consistent drive to always do better and/or more. I needed him to explain the word to me with more words.

It is a philosophical term that labels actions “beyond the call of duty”. Today was one of those days that I would have agreed with my co-worker. I went above and beyond the call of duty.

I've been working on this group assignment for what feels like forever. It was originally due last Tuesday which was then pushed out to Thursday, which was then pushed out to this coming Thursday. Great right? No, not really. There were errors in the data supplied for the case study. My group found those errors. Extra time to work on it, means putting more energy and attention into the project and not on my readings. (After all there is only so much time to go around!) Tonight, I worked hard to pull together the assignment so that I could hopefully spare myself a few hours to slide into my readings. I only have 10 days left before I write my 50% final exam. I'm starting to sweat it. Much to do and time is running out.

But back to tonight and going above and beyond. I spent my night working on one portion of the overall project. This section, in its entirety, is 5 pages deep. It’s thorough; it offers charts and tables and much commentary. I really don't think I needed to go into the depth that I did.

But - it’s a case study that we are working on. I put myself in the fictitious client’s shoes and realized that I would want a lot more detail. And so, I gave it to them. Lots and lots of details and information.

It wasn't until I finally handed over my document to my team mates that I realized my friend from work was right. I have a problem with supererogation. I can’t just do the minimum when I know I can offer more.

It was then that I tried to remember this crazy word. I was inspired with it once again and knew that I would write about it in today's blog.  Google failed me when I search for “beyond the call of duty”. And then, surprisingly, my brain kicked in and remembered the word. Isn't that just fitting? I had a good giggle in that moment.

So today’s moment is about supererogation - going beyond the expected and being pleasantly surprised with the results.

I'm also going to tag brain power today as a moment. It’s not very often that my brain supersedes a Google search!

Moments pushing the limits.
Moment to learn a new word!

p.s. if you are interested, I found this philosophical article about supererogation….check it out!

Moments D322: Birthday Love & Exam Stress

Today was my birthday. It was also exam day. Talk about a day of opposites!

Fortunately I was proactive about this day. I booked the day off so I could study and focus on my exam. Good thing. I really, REALLY, needed the time. I dug in hard to the studying and the fruits of my labour will hopefully prove worth the work. (I should know next week….) But I won’t lie, it was very very stressful.

And throughout this particularly stressful day, I was peppered with love and showered with birthday wishes. It was the strangest day I’ve had in a long, long time.

And at the end of my long, long day, not only did I feel like I had accomplished something with all my hard work for my exam, but I also felt very loved. That’s the best of both worlds if you ask me. Kinda perfect for a birthday.

I am a lucky girl. I am surrounded by beautiful loving souls. My favourite message: the voicemail left by my nephews….singing me happy birthday. I’ve listened to it twice today. I’ve saved it. I will listen to it again tomorrow, for it warms my heart. (Then again, I’ve also watched this smile sent today a couple of times too!)

Like I said: A lucky girl.

Moments working through what needs to get done.

Moments stopping to enjoyed showered love.

Moments D319: Choices

Today I wasn’t feeling so hot and it was a (typical) packed day for me. On my agenda: groceries, workout, make chili, do laundry, study for my test, work a bit on my coming assignment, have dinner with a friend and then head to a house party. On a good day, I could get it all done. Today, not so much.

So I had a choice - what do I cut out? What do I “slack” on. Today, I chose to slack on the school side of things. This is not typical. Typically, I’d chose to slack off on all the other things and focus on my schooling. Today, I chose a different path. I’m not sure why I did, and I’m sure tomorrow I’ll feel very guilty for it, but for today, I’m going to bask in the light of a new path.

Why? Well one time too many I’ve given up things that I want to do in place of getting an A+ on a test. Now, I know logically I don’t NEED an A+. I’m not working hard for a scholarship or to get myself recruited out of school. But, it is my nature to push hard. I want to be the best of the best. This is something that I fight against when days like today happen.

So, I did my groceries. I made my (damn tasty!) chili. I started my laundry, started my studying and had dinner with a friend before the house party. Still a busy and productive day, but not all about school.

That will be tomorrow.

Moments to reclaim for oneself.

Moments D294: Fevers, Tests and Love

I know. I know. Strange bedfellows, but what can I say? Today my cold broke free of me. I had a full on fever by mid-morning. It’s a good thing my pounding head convinced me to stay home again from work. A fever is nothing to mess with! And of course tonight was my first test of the semester too. Talk about a day!

I slept, I worked from home in my pjs (again - I tell you, I could get used to that!) and then I slept some more. The fever finally broke and I figured it was a good time to brush up on my studies and dive into the test.

But today’s moment isn’t about the cold or the test - it’s about the love that I felt from my circles. Those close to me, those afar, those nearest and dearest and new friends. The love, the support, the well wishes.

It’s just a cold. But I know I am missed in the office.

It’s just a test. But I know that my friends (and family) want me to succeed. (Maybe that’s because they know me well enough to know that I won’t be happy with anything but success!)

Sometimes, it’s just a nice warm blanket of comfort knowing that there are people who really care about you. I’m fortunate, that circle is wide, and its depth great. So today - thank you to my peeps. For the surprise smiles, for the silly suggestions, for the rants about Angelica and raw sugar.

Moments for many smiles, from many directions on a tough day physically and intellectually.

Moments D290: Snow Day!

Well, technically it wasn't a REAL snow day. Had I been just a student, it would have been, as the university I go to cancelled all their classes. We had over 25cm of snow fall in the last 24 hours. FUN! Too bad I'm still not feeling so hot to get outside and enjoy it a bit.

Today, I called in sick to work. Though my breathing is better, I didn't sleep well and at 8am this morning there was simply no way I had the energy to truck myself into work. I happily pulled the covers back over me and slept in until 11am.

Then, I logged into work from home. Ya, I know. I really shouldn't do that since I'll be docked a whole sick day. But, I'm too responsible for my own good. I was actually feeling better post morning nap, so why not be productive. It's not like I had enough energy to go outside and dig out my car! So I worked for 5 hours. Not bad for a snow day.

Then I switched hats and ready my textbook and did some problems for my upcoming test. Huh. Really not bad for a snow day.

Now, I'm about to make a late dinner. Yes, only soup, but it's time. I'm finally hungry. All in all, a pretty productive day for a snow day. Sleep in, work, school, food. Not bad at all.

I really loved watching the snow fall too. I had my blinds open all day watching the blustery winds of white.

Here's hoping tomorrow can be as productive, though I may need to dig my car out so I can get some groceries!

Moments enjoying being snowed in and "stuck" at home.

Moments D288: Kitty Love instead of homework

I haven’t been feeling well.  That darn cold that went through the office found me!

Tonight, the original plan was to buckle down and get a lot of reading and studying done for my upcoming test.  Instead, my brain wouldn’t really allow it.  I’m slow and struggling to focus.  So, after a couple of hours of of struggles, I gave in to the cold and sat my butt down on my couch.  Shortly after I did, my pretty kitty came to join me.  Sitting on me purring away, it was just the love I needed for the day.  For a good 30 minutes we just hung out together.  No TV.  No reading, just sitting and contemplating.  I’ll be my blood pressure isn’t too high now!

Love my furbaby.