Today was not an easy day. I haven't been feeling well. I have also been trying to get back into the swing of school and failing miserably at finding my groove. My mind has been filled with work "to dos" and my body and mind have been too tired to really dig into extra work or school readings. Not a good combination given that I had my first quiz this evening in class.
Fortunately, I was spaced out enough that I didn't really stress too much about my first quiz. It was only worth 10% of my final mark. No problem. I can swallow that and make up for it if I need to. (right?) It was okay that I hadn't read all my chapters. I had my class notes and had walked through the problems assigned to me. I should be able to survive the quiz and that would be good enough. (right?)
Good enough. What? A year ago I would have been really stressed over the missed readings and extra time devoted to thoroughly understanding the material before this quiz. Not tonight. No, not tonight. Who the heck am I?
It's one thing to logically talk yourself into "this is okay" and another thing entirely to believe it once you walk away from that conversation. (In my case, a conversation with myself!) And I wasn't entirely convinced that I was believing that it was okay until today's moment happened.
Today's moment happened just after meeting up with EQ, Comic Guy and Archie for a late dinner and drink. I really was okay with the fact that I likely didn't do well on this quiz. I believed it. It wasn't just lip service. It was that moment when I admitted to Archie that I was okay even though I'm certain that my quiz did not go well. That moment that was the tiniest of blips in my day, but it was a significant one looking back on it.
Instead we sat and had big meaningful life changing conversations. It was incredible and empowering.
That said, you know it means that I'm not going to fight like hell to do much, much better on the rest of my tests in this class, but for this moment, I was okay with "good enough".
Moments recognizing self-growth.
Moments knowing (and believing) that the golf balls in your life really are more important.
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