Moments D720: Feeling Alive

Today.  What to say about today.  I don't even know where to begin.  It's been a mess, nothing went as planned.  Not my wake up call, not my plan of attack for studying, nor the words that followed during the day.  I wasn't nearly as productive for my studies as I had hoped, but I can say, looking back, that I managed to be productive in life.

What?

A life lesson I suppose.  Scratch that.  It's not really a lesson.  I suppose it's more a reminder, because I already know most of what comes later in today's blog.  It's just that sometimes I need a kick in the "you-know-what" to keep it in mind.

First, let me explain how the day unfolded (unravelled?).

I'm okay with things not always going as planned.  Honestly!  I know that things don't always go as planned. In fact, laugh as you might, I actually plan for things not to go as planned.  I know, you likely feel like that is a great waste of energy, right?  To each their own.  Believe me, it's certainly saved my butt a few times over the years, in my books, it's well worth having a back-up plan.  Today, even my backup plan wasn't so strong and in the end I was terribly frustrated.

Unscheduled stops today:  (1) Missed my wake up call (2)  A big deep conversation with BFF about how I'm managing my stress and expectations.  She knows.  She knows without me having shared anything that I'm worried.  Brilliantly scary of her and she's never been off on that. And so, before I knew it, I was vomiting a lot of emotions her way.  Apparently I haven't been handling the worry so well after all.  We went deeper than I was really ready for, but it just felt so good to share and to have another perspective.  (3)  Then, unexpectedly, my needs passed up to make room for someone else's needs.  Twice in an hour.  Confusing, painful, but manageable as I had my studies to dive into today and I just about got there when.... (4) Heini called as she had time to connect.  I hadn't heard from her in a couple of days and I was worried about her.  I was happy to take a time out and catch up with her.  And so I did.  She shared with me the coming plans for her father's memorial.  She even read his obituary aloud to me. That was a beautiful moment, one that, had I not had my own epiphany today, would have been today's moment! My dear friend is exhausted; physically, mentally and emotionally.  It's the least I could do to carve out time for her.  She's one of my best friends and I know she'd be there for me in a blink of an eye.  (5) Just after my chat with Heini and before I dove deep into my studies, I spent a bit more time with BFF given her updates from Heini.  Seeing as I was now officially 4 hours behind schedule, that conversation was poignant and forced me to ask myself a few tough questions.  And then BFF & I agreed, it was time I shut the world out and dive into my textbook.  And so I did.

When I finally lifted my head to breathe, the day had passed.  I had been productive.  A good thing! I still had a few things to deal with (another chapter to do problems from, a chat with EQ, and a visit to Heini's cat).  And so, without much thought, I sent EQ a note say I was out the door and off I went to visit kitty (poor little dude needs a visit and more food)!

And that's when I had my moment for today.

I turned on the car and Dinosaur Jr's song "Feel the Pain" had just come on.   I smiled to myself and slowly drove off as memories and feelings flooded me.

First of all, this was a song that I loved to play on Rock Band.   I'd sing it, I'd drum it.  I think I even tried to do guitar once (I was terrible at guitar on Rock Band!).  I quickly found myself mesmerized by the beat; it's that funky double kick base.  It always gave me trouble and, me the perfectionist, would play it over and over and over again until I started to get it.  Oh yes.  I feel the pain.

And then I found myself reminiscing to a time when I had time to play Rock Band.  That feels like a lifetime ago.  As those ghosts came and left me, I felt their weight.  I realized that today I was definitely feeling the pain.  I often feel the pain of those around me and today was a heavy dose of that.  I also found myself dealing with my own stress and pain and tears filled my eyes.

Life is not perfect.  I don't expect it to be.
People aren't perfect.  I don't expect them to be.
Relationships ebb and flow.  I don't expect perfection there either.
Me.  I expect perfection from myself.

Not fair of me, but what can I say, I'm still a work-in-progress.

Frustrated by where I find myself today, I fell into the pain.  I am not perfect.  I never will be.  I cannot fit into a mould where someone needs me to be perfect. I am not always bright and happy and bubbly.  I have dark moments.  Hell, I have dark days.  I have fears.  I have needs that may seem odd and strange to some. I don't need to be perfect.  I know this, but I do need to be accepted.  I need to be loved for all my parts. As I surfaced from my 60s pity-party, I realized just how alive I was feeling in that moment.  It was raw, it was real and I wouldn't change it for the world.

That moment reminded me that I am surrounded by some of the most amazing people.  I know I am loved.  Good, bad and the ugly.  Today was a perfect example of that.  It was a deep, raw blend of giving and taking words and emotions with those I love. I've said it once, I'll say it again and again and again:  for me, life is all about my people.  In the end, who really cares about the mark I do (or don't) get in this class.  No one except me.  Who cares that BFF was there for me today, or that I was there for Heini today?  I could easily rhyme off a handful of names in either case.

Perspective.

Moments feeling the pain.
Moments feeling alive.

Moments D586: Girls' Night In

Tonight I had my best ladies over for dinner and drinks.  It's the last Saturday night of 2013 for me here in Canada and I couldn't resist spending the time with my favourite ladies celebrating each other.

It was a night filled with much wine, fun and laughter!  It`s hard to filter down the awesome moments!  That said, there were two moments that really stand out for me.

The first is an app that Heini introduced us to.  Vivino.  Wow.  How much fun is this wine app??  I loved it instantly and I think the more I use it the more likely I'll end up buying the pro version.  FINALLY a way to manage my fridge of wines!  AMAZING!

The second awesome moment was when Bunny shared a bath time story with the group of us.  It was of her youngest son pooping in the bath.  Of course, there were rounds of laughter as Bunny acted out the scene.  Shortly after the first rounds of laughter were dying down, I asked when her youngest had done this.  Her reply?  Just minutes before she had headed out to meet up with us!  Another round of laughter ensued.  And then we learned that her hubby actually picked up the feces bare handed.  After a room going eeeeeeew....we all laughed again.

So much laughter tonight.  Yup.  Amazing time with the ladies tonight.

Moments finding an app that really is perfect for you.

Moments enjoying your friends in 2013 and looking forward to many more in 2014.

Moments D518: Story Swapping

Today was a productive day on so many levels from my morning workout, work, and personal to do's.  It feels great to have such a productive day! I guess it paid to have a quiet day yesterday?

The best moment of my day though, was catching up with Heini this evening.  I was away on vacation and then she was and much has transpired for both of us during our vacations.  With so much to share in only an evening, I wasn't sure we'd get through it all.

I was happily surprised!  What a complete joy our time was catching up.  A fluid exciting exchange of stories over tea and pizza.  We both shared, we both paused and gently directed the conversation back to the key stories instead of getting completely side-tracked.  Because we managed it, we both shared all of our key stories from the past three weeks (and there were many!)  We laughed, we teared, we planned for next steps in the stories of our lives.

It was a beautiful fulfilling moment.

Moments when story swapping with friends goes amazingly well.

Moments being reminded of just how special my friends are.

Moments D466: Girls Night Out

Running on a mere 3.5 hours of sleep and emotionally drained, I very nearly bailed on my Friday.  Part of me wanted to just pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all day.

I refused to succumb!  I dragged my tired butt out of bed, drank a boatload of coffee, had an incredibly productive and fun day at work (we had a Mexican potluck lunch!) and then I freshened up and went out with some fabulous girls from work.

We went bar hopping on Queen West, from the Caddy (for dinner and an awesome bourbon caesar) to the Savoy for a couple of drinks, to the Church for a couple more drinks.  From there we walked up Ossignton and had a few laughs along the way.   From one wine bar with a bar full of gents shooing us away because they were closed for a private party (though the door was open!) to going into and then quickly out of another bar that had a strange hip hop vibe.  We finally settled at the Dakota Tavern where Melissa Payne was playing.

Though I was tired and a little less lively than normal, it was an incredibly fun night out. Sometimes blowing off some steam is exactly what is needed.

Moments pushing through exhaustion.

Moments celebrating new friendships and girl power.

Moments D401: No drowning Allowed

Today I want to recognize and celebrate my friends once again. I am such a fortunate soul to have such beautiful caring people in my life.

Here’s the scenario, perhaps you’ve been there before. The feeling that you might drown in the intensity of a situation. This could be extremely joyous feelings, or extremely overwhelming dark feelings. Sometimes just acknowledging that you have the feelings can be overwhelming. What do we tend to do? Ignore. Distract. Deny.

But sometimes, it catches up with you. You are no longer able to deny, ignore or even distract yourself from the flood coming.

Having shared this foreboding with my Bestie in the North, she had a simple insightful premise. (She’s so smart that one!) My friends are strong. They won’t let me drown. I can trust in my friends. Even my newest one. Even the ones that I haven’t spent a lot of face time with.

I kinda loved that insight.

Not only does it remind me of why I love my Bestie so much, it reminds me of how lucky I am to have such beautiful, supportive souls in my life.

Bring on the flood. I am surrounded by support.

Moments of worry and concern melting away.

Moments loving my friends that much more.

Moments D400: The small things; the big things

Being my four hundredth entry, I thought I should kick it up a notch. And today had a couple of moments that were relevant to a share in a milestone blog post.

Today was an incredibly busy day (yes I know, you are getting used to this by now!). But today was one of those days where I felt that sense of control slipping. Where the mass of “To Do’s” were going to swallow me up. And yet, I managed to take moments to breathe through the rising panic. I organized, prioritized and set off to tackle them one by one.

That’s a big deal for me. And as I sit here now, post-reading for my class tomorrow night, I don’t feel overwhelmed or out of control. I feel like I’ve done what I can given the tools and resources I have. Everything will work out because I do have control over that with my words and my time management. One way or another, things will get done.

A second big thing today happened, my BFF had a particularly challenging day. So much so that the news she received may be life altering for her. I tried to send her as much love and light as I could with my given time today, but it serves as a reminder of just how precious our time is, how important it is to monitor our health and invest in self above all else. (I know most of us are terrible at that!) It also brought to the forefront just how important my BFF (actually all my friends, but in this case my BFF specifically) and how important it is to share words of encouragement and love to help them through dark times.

And finally a very small moment that warmed my heart today. Today, my girlfriend from work and I, let’s call her Arizona, went to grab a coffee together today. In all honesty, we’ve rarely done this in the past because our offices were in two separate buildings only weeks ago. But this morning we went together. That in itself was a lovely moment, but there is one, smaller, and more meaningful moment to me.

Arizona & I picked up coffees for a few people in the office, one of which was destined for an amazingly creative and loving receptionist. Having been with our company for close to 20 years, she has had some serious health battles. But, she is a fighter and a lover and everyone very much adores her.

Today, we surprised her with a coffee. The genuine surprise and gratitude did not go unnoticed. Truly, this is why she is loved so. She is not shy with her sharing of love and light. Her reaction brought not only a smile to Arizona and me, but her words warmed my heart and that inspired me through the early challenges of my day. Karma? Maybe. Either way, I was happy to share a small token of love and appreciation with her.

Moments quietly appreciating the big steps taken and the significant importance of people.

Moments with enthusiastic appreciation of the small things.

Moments D390: Deep Discussions

Today was an interesting day. I woke a little slowly, but we moved quickly to get to the hospital to wait for Dad to get his discharge papers. Unfortunately it took a little longer than expected, but the time was well spent. I was able to meet one of Dad’s “cell mates” Bob. Bob was delightful and, at 78, he had much to share and I rather enjoyed his stories and his energy.

Hours later, Dad was in the passenger seat and Mom was driving them home.

I made my way home and puttered around for a bit cleaning up the week. And then, I packed a bag, some tasty beverages and I made my way to my BFF’s place. After the week, after having my core shaken again it was exactly what I needed. Low key, backyard sunshine and the best company ever!

We had many deep discussions and we watched the sun go down. We had a delightful first BBQ of the season - BBQ’d meat, veggies and yes, salad. And then the sprinkling rain came. We were finishing up our third bottle by then.

And then the discussion of the day: Was this what we hoped for?

Life. Never as straightforward as you hope for and it’s always offering you learning opportunities. We sat with this idea for a bit as we watched music videos under the big umbrella in the cold spring rain.

Was this what we hoped for?

My philosophy is that if it’s not what you hoped for, it is still well within your control. If you find yourself in a place that you aren’t happy with, then it’s time to take a good hard look at why and find a way to work towards that end goal. Often we settle. Often we find comfort in something that is known, but comfort alone isn’t enough. Sometimes, we’re aware of a deficiency, but we keep ourselves busy and ignore the deeper signs. But truly, we all have the ability to work towards what we hope for. That path isn’t easy. Sometimes it forces you to have a long hard look in the mirror and sometimes it breaks your heart. But after all that hard work, when you get to your goal, it’s that much sweeter.

So today, is a celebration of deep discussions. Of revisiting what’s most important in my life and finding the best path towards that end. It’s about friends, it’s about family and it’s about enjoying the walk along that path, not running too hard and fast that I miss out.

Moments with your best friend.

Moments digging deeper into self..

Moments D389: Friday Lunches

Today I met up with a friend I haven’t seen since months after she had her second beautiful son. Her son is now just over 15 months old.

My day started off with a bang and I put my head down and ploughed through a lot of work. Before I knew it, my girlfriend had touched base to check in on me and make sure that we were still on for lunch. I could’t believe that it was already 11:30 am. The morning have zipped by! And while I was deep into my work, there was no way I was missing out on this lunch!

My girlfriend and I had an amazing lunch. Time seemed to slow and we managed to get caught up with much laughter.

And to think, I very nearly missed it because I wasn’t paying attention - distracted by work.

Today’s moment - my Friday lunch. A Friday lunch out of the office! HAPPY days indeed.

I’m even happier yet knowing that my dear old Dad will be leaving the hospital tomorrow morning.

Moments with a near missed lunch.

Moments enjoying awesome food with an awesome person.

Moments D380: TML - Bandwagon or Convert?

It’s hockey playoffs. And I’m watching the games. By choice. On my own. ON MY OWN ALONE.

What has happened to me? I’ve never done that before on my own. Now, I’ve watched many a hockey game growing up, after all my brother played hockey, and my parents followed the Junior A & B local teams. But NHL? No, this is not something I do on my own. With friends, from time to time, yes. But on my own? What has happened?

Now, my BFF is a huge Toronto Maple Leafs fan. I’ve been with her for a few games over the past couple of seasons. One particularly fun night not long ago we were four rows away from the ice and players in the ACC. Now that was a night! Honestly, I think she’s been rubbing off on me. After all, her fervor is hard to ignore! She’s the gal that brings her extra TML hat for me to wear. (And wear it I do!)

So, fear not dear readers, I really don’t believe I’m just a bandwagon jumper for the playoffs. I think, oh my, I think I’ve been converted!

Moments accepting I’m impressionable.

Moments of new interests.

Moments D372: Laughter, friends and coworkers

Tonight was a fun night. It was work and fun all wrapped into one. But the best moment of the day was when my oldest friend and I entered the bar where a co-worker was hosting a comedy night. The back bar was filled with people from work and a few that were ex-co-workers of mine. While I thought we were running a wee bit late, we ended up being a bit early. (Who knew, comedians can’t keep track of time apparently!) It was a bit like CHEERS when Norm walked in.

It put the biggest smile on my face! I was happy to be early. This gave us time to wait for the rest of the crowd to arrive, and time to catch up with the crowd that was there. I think my oldest friend even picked up a wee crush while we were mingling before the show!

We had a lot of laughs before the show, but even more during the show. Our table was, by far, the most engaged with the comedians. That too made me smile!

Moments enjoying being welcomed into a crowd.

Moments knowing you are part of the group.

Moments D370: Hyacinth in Bloom

Today was a vacation day from the office. It was a rainy cool day in Haliburton. Truly a perfect day to continue the packing and moving of my bestie. All the hubbub of the day past gone, we were in the thick of getting her moved.

It was an extremely productive day and the theme of rebirth continued as we packed up her old place and moved a lot of her stuff over to the new place. Both are beautiful spaces, but her new place has a peace about it that isn’t comparable to the old space. This new space felt like home whereas her old space felt like a stepping stone.

When I left, I wasn’t really ready to go, but it was time to get back at a decent hour and get myself ready for a very busy week. On my way home, I passed many a magnolia tree just starting to bloom and as I walked up my walkway the hyacinth in our front garden were in full bloom. I could smell them before I saw them. Amazing.

Spring is here. Rebirth complete on many levels. Back to work and life with a new perspective on many things.

Moments to stop and smell the hyacinth.

Moments understanding more deeply one’s new path.

Moments D369: Coffee, Beef Jerkey, and Poutine and the universe speaks.

Although I didn’t manage to stay awake to see the sunrise, I didn’t miss much of the night and early morning. Having finally crashed around 4-4:30am, we were up only 3.5 hours later.

At that point the sun was bright, the birds in song and though there was a slight chill in the breeze we were all (well most of us) eager to get outside and enjoy the beauty of the morning. So me, my bestie and my BFF, made ourself coffee and made our way down to the dock. We laughed at some of the stories from the night before, relived the beauty of the bonfire we had and shared new friend stories. And yes, I managed to get my first sunburn of the season!

Eventually the we became hungry girls and we began to pillage what was left of the prepared foods from the night before. For breakfast, we had cheese, buns, crackers, apple pie and coffee (and a banana) for round two of our time out on the dock. Just the three of us. It was then that we started speaking to the universe and it eventually began to speak back to us. (Actually, it was my bestie impersonating the universe’s responses, but it was very apropos!)

Beautiful moments all in themselves, and moments I will cherish for a life time. Later our trine was joined by the boy next door for yet another pot of coffee. Another set of great moments.

And then my BFF had to run, and as she was packing up our amazing new friend, who I will call LWF (for his Lest we Forget tattoo) finally rose from his sleep. Of course, he was in desperate need of coffee. To his shock and horror, we had brewed up and drank all the coffee.

It wasn’t long before we were making a run to West Guilford for coffee.

But, we were in luck as we stopped at the Haliburton restaurant for a cup of java, and then we made our way to West Guilford to stock up. We picked up coffee, bacon, and LWF picked up beef jerky and cheese curds (a good hangover cure? I’m not sure, but it did seem to perk him up!) And then there was this light begging for attention across from the store. The CHIP TRUCK called out to us. And so, my bestie and I enjoyed some of the best fries in the region. (I was very bad with a poutine, she behaved herself with fries only and LWF simply enjoyed his beef jerkey.)

We enjoyed our moment with the food. Sharing stories and getting to know one another just a little bit more. Those moments are always good for my soul for I love to learn about what inspires others.

So today’s moment? Simple. The people, the silly post-party food and just being lazy and enjoying the day as it came to us. The shared stories during the best day of spring Haliburton has seen. A perfect first new day after being reborn. Packing was pushed off to the end of the day as the sun started its decent in the sky.

An amazing day with my besties and new friends.

Moments of pure laziness.

Moments of pure silliness.

Moments D368: Full Moon Peepers

Today was my bestie’s moving party in Haliburton. It was also significant to her in that it was an anniversary and today she was, in a way, reborn. Talk about fortunate timing given the cleansing energy of the full moon that was also present with us. It was easy to fall into that joy of rebirth and renewal. The end of a chapter for her (for many of us in my circles) and to celebrate the beginning of something new. And so the weekend began with this focus and energy surrounding us.

We spent most of the day slowly getting ready for the party. There was no real urgency. The three of us caught up and laughed and commiserated during the day. It was completely laid back. I think, it was all that good bright energy that the three of had absorbed from the full moon the day before, feeding it back and forth between us. I know I felt the renewed and recharged too. And I was very much looking forward to meeting my bestie’s local friends and co-workers.

Many were invited, but we weren’t sure how many would attend. There was that moment right before the start time of the party that my bestie worried about no one showing. HA. Not so. Not only did the invitees come, they brought friends with them. The more the merrier, right? I met many new people this evening. All such fun beautiful souls.

In the end, the party was a huge success with amazing food, an incredible bonfire, lots of drinks and laughter. But today’s moment isn’t about meeting new friends, it was sharing a very special moment watching the moon and listening to the spring peepers from the cottage dock. This was experiencing spring in all her glory. The chorus of frogs, the stars being washed out by the full moon, the fog drifting over the crackling icy lake. (The sound of the ice moving in the water was nearly as incredible as the frogs singing!)

I wish I would have laid on the dock for many hours to just soak it all in, but the cold and the many drinks before hand meant that I had to bail earlier than I had hoped to. It was, none-the-less, an amazing moment and one that I’m happy to have shared.

And - it was almost as amazing as having an ice cold dip in the lake.

Moments to enjoy your friends’ rebirth.

Moments realizing you are having your own rebirth.

Moments D367: Memories

Today I headed to Haliburton after work to spend the weekend with one two of my besties. It is moving weekend!

Today’s moment is about celebrating road trips and that solo time spent pondering life. For me today’s 4+ hour trip seemed centered on memories and where I’ve been and dealt with since the last drive North.

Last time I made this trip, I ended up with a speeding ticket. This time, I took it easy and ignored the annoying drivers. Change is good. Slowing down and enjoying the path along the way is good.

Last time I made this trip, over two months ago, I had just come back from a family trip to Florida. I was also coming off of a cold. Now, I’m as healthy as ever, back into my routine of working out and eating well.

Last time, when I arrived I broke into tears with my girlfriend when she asked me how I was dealing with some of the drama in my life. This time I was greeted with squeals of delight and an evening of laughter ensued.

While I have the memories of months ago, they do not own me. As I was driving, thinking of the past, of my present and where I’m heading in the future, I realized this. Memories do not own me, nor will they haunt me. I own them. I choose to have them pass through my mind or not. I am in control.

That realization really helped when a poignant song came over the airwaves and stirred my soul. It’s okay to have sad and upsetting memories, but they do not own me. I own them. I thanked the universe for the moment, and for the reminder that I’m in control.

Moments of memories.

Moments finding ever more strength and depth of self.

Moments D325: Friends toasting friends

Tonight we celebrated my birthday. Tonight we also celebrated one of my bestie’s birthday. And we had fun. A lot of fun.

But there was one very very special moment. It was when my best friends, together in one room toasted each other. They had a moment where they celebrated how incredible THEY were.

It was a beautiful thing to watch. Here, in a room were five amazing souls. Once upon a time I brought them together. Now they love each other too. It was almost like a proud mama moment. These the people I love most in my life. The ones that have been there for me through thick and thin. We have shared life changing moments together, we have been silly together. We have been annoyed with one another and we have been proud and supportive. We have cried and laughed through many moments.

We are best friends. And I am lucky and grateful for these people in my life. And tonight, they celebrated each other. It was a beautiful.

Best moments with your best friends.

Moments D323: Sipping Tequila

Tonight was the official beginning of birthday celebrations! (After all, I have a whole weekend of celebrations planned, so this is just the beginning!)

Tonight’s dinner started out as just my work-girlfriend and I. But then, it was my bestie’s birthday on Monday so I invited him and his partner along. And then, when my oldest-dearest friend found out we invited her and a friend along too. From just the two of us to a party of six in a matter of days.

And while the dinner outing was amazing (food, company, laughter) it was the quiet moment leading up to the “party” that I stop to reflect upon.

It’s like that magical moment just before a storm breaks out. The birds quiet, the wind dies down. The calm. That’s what this moment was like with my work-girlfriend and I at the bar.

It was quiet. The bartender tended to us without urgency, but with purpose. He helped us choose just the right back-bar tequila for us to sip upon during those quiet moments. And once we had our extra añejo tequila in hand, we sat back, quietly caught up, and luxuriously, deliberately sipped our smooth tequila. The calm sipping our tequila was about 20 minutes or so, but it was a perfect moment to share with my new, closer friend before the storm hit.

And then, together, we celebrated the storm!

Moments of luxuriating in the calm.

Moments anticipating and diving into the storm.

Moments D320: New, deepening friendships

Today I was told I was a good friend. This coming from a beautiful woman that I respect and admire. We’re co-workers and while I don’t see her often, we have definitely been building a friendship beyond the walls of the office.

She’s older than I and her life experiences and her perspective on life have always been of interest to me. She offers a kind word when needed and a straight-forward opinion on anything I ask of her. For me, it’s refreshing to speak to someone with an opinion less muddled by her own issues. I know that sounds strange, and I’ll do my best to explain.

A lot of the time, it’s great to share experiences and perspectives friends. Understanding how and why they do/did what they did sometimes enlightens me to my own actions and/or needs. But sometimes, sometimes I want to strip those experiences from the conversation. I want them to put themselves in my shoes, knowing who I am as a person and give me their opinion from that perspective. Easy? Hell no. I find most people struggle to separate themselves from their own personal comfort zone and experiences. But sometimes, that’s exactly what I need because I know how they would deal with a situation, I sometimes am trying to figure out how *I* should.

This girlfriend…she offers that for me. Without judgement, without personal bias. I don’t feel any need to curb my words with her. That is rare. I now have two such gems in my circle.

And today, today she told me I’m a good friend to her. I was quick to share back the same sentiment.

Moments being thankful for new, deepening friendships.

Moments D319: Choices

Today I wasn’t feeling so hot and it was a (typical) packed day for me. On my agenda: groceries, workout, make chili, do laundry, study for my test, work a bit on my coming assignment, have dinner with a friend and then head to a house party. On a good day, I could get it all done. Today, not so much.

So I had a choice - what do I cut out? What do I “slack” on. Today, I chose to slack on the school side of things. This is not typical. Typically, I’d chose to slack off on all the other things and focus on my schooling. Today, I chose a different path. I’m not sure why I did, and I’m sure tomorrow I’ll feel very guilty for it, but for today, I’m going to bask in the light of a new path.

Why? Well one time too many I’ve given up things that I want to do in place of getting an A+ on a test. Now, I know logically I don’t NEED an A+. I’m not working hard for a scholarship or to get myself recruited out of school. But, it is my nature to push hard. I want to be the best of the best. This is something that I fight against when days like today happen.

So, I did my groceries. I made my (damn tasty!) chili. I started my laundry, started my studying and had dinner with a friend before the house party. Still a busy and productive day, but not all about school.

That will be tomorrow.

Moments to reclaim for oneself.

Moments D316: Surrealness

Tonight I had a last minute change in plans. A Leaf’s game. My BFF is the biggest fan I know. We were excited just to be going to an unexpected game.

A day earlier, we had other exciting news, which may not be public knowledge just yet, but it was worthy of a celebration. And then a hockey game falls into our lap.

My BFF and I go to one of our favourite pubs in the city. Now, Prohibition is no typical pub. It specializes in a gastronomic menu. It’s brilliant and a perfect way to start our celebratory evening out. Great start, right? A couple of glasses of wine a tasty Buckingham Blanket and off we go to the ACC.

AND WE FIND OUT WE ARE IN THE FOURTH ROW from the ICE!! It was surreal. Seeing the Leafs and the Senators playing that close. They seemed stronger and faster somehow!

AND it was an amazing game. Seconds into the game gloves are dropped and a fight breaks out. My BFF is giddy beside me. Between periods we chatted with the usher and the gents beside us. I post a couple of pictures to Facebook only to find out that an old friend from high school, that I haven’t seen in MANY moons (I dare not count them out!) is sitting behind me in one of the boxes above. We chatted a bit and caught up via text. What are the chances? Surreal.

And then, the end of the game arrives (WE WON!!) and the usher motions for us to wait. There is one more surprise left on this surreal day…..the usher has collected a practice puck for my dear BFF. If she was giddy before, she was now over the moon. (Seriously, she showed it to everyone on our walk back to the parked car!)

It was an awesome evening, celebrating a beautiful soul’s new chapter in her life. Now, not only does she have the memories (and pictures) of the fourth row seats, she has a puck.





Yes - very surreal.

Moments with your BFF and watching her act like a five year-old in a candy store.

DELIGHTFUL for my soul.

Moments D310: Respect and understanding

Today’s moment seemed to bombard me as I had many instances of it occur.

A moment where a friend asked me to have their needs respected and they followed up with thanks for understanding.

Another moment where another’s needs were not being met and where I may not have necessarily understood what those needs were.

A moment with two in my circle that took the time to understand my needs and not only respect my boundaries but work with me in them.

And then, the pièce de résistance my two cute kitties finally found a place of respect and understanding today. As I type this, Ma-Ku, the baby, is curled up on my chest. Nimue is curled up right beside me. Together they purr in unison.

A reminder that respect is a give and take. A flow of energy if you will.

A reminder that it’s important to take time to understand the needs of those around you.