Moments D721: Penguins, Words, butterflies and believing

Tonight Arizona and I went to see Christina Perri at the Danforth Music Hall.  In a word:  WOW.  

Christina had BIRDY open the show.  I've never heard of this beautiful songstress before.  Incredible.  I'll definitely be hunting down some of her songs tomorrow.  Tonight, I want to write about the soul inspiring Christina Perri.  She brought me to tears.  Not once, not twice, but thrice in the near 2 hours she was on stage.

What an amazing big voice.  What an incredible presence you could feel her pain in the words she belted out.  You could feel the joy and the love and the fear.  It was a beautiful set of songs and in just under a week of having her latest album "Head or Heart", I've already fallen in love with a couple of her new songs.

The first song that brought me to tears was her new song "The Words".  It's a song about new love about being raw, and real, and going deeper.  Why the tears?  I remember that moment.  That moment where I realized I was deep, deep in love.  It was raw, and real, and scary.  "The scariest part is letting go."   So very true.  Letting go, trusting.  Believing.  Believing you deserve love.  Believing you can give love.  Trusting that this time, this time you won't fail at the rest of the puzzle because as beautiful as love can be, it's only a piece of the bigger puzzle of a healthy, functioning relationship.  And it's scary to let go and dive in.

Near the end of the concert, Christina sang "I believe",  also from her new album.  Again, the tears came, for who hasn't felt the pain of losing themselves?  I know I have.  A few times.  (Um, you did read the paragraph preceding this one....right?)   She dedicated this song to the audience.  Noted that there were surely those of us in the crowd that may not have been having the best of days, or weeks, that she was going to fill the room up with love and surround us with it.

Eerily familiar.  And I found myself taking a step back and really absorbing the energy of the crowd and sending out to BFF (she's sick!), Heini (for obvious reasons) and to EQ (because I love him!) - redirecting all that beautiful energy.  

The emotion of her words are raw, add in how passionately she plays the piano and voilà:  magic. A snippet of her lyrics:

‘Cause I have been where you are before
And I have felt the pain of losing who you are
And I have died so many times, but I am still alive

This is not the end of me, this is the beginning
(Hold on)
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning

And then she had the audience join in chorus.  Much like this live version on Youtube.  How incredibly powerful.  Arizona and I were in section A.  Our task was to sing "This is not the end of me, this is the beginning."  Very apropos given the journey I've had over the past two years.  The audience at the Danforth Music Hall great and much more into it than the video online.....we actually sang the band off the stage and kept it going for quite a few repeats.  It was such a beautiful moment....tears rolling down my face and all.

During the encore, she played one of my favourite songs from her first album.  "Penguin"  It's more a cute fun song about soul mates.  It's always choked me up.

It was a beautiful set of songs, performed by an extremely talented young lady.

Moments just feeling the music and lyrics.

Moments soaking in all that beautiful, loving energy and sharing it out again to those in need.

Moments D719: Bodum Coffee

Sometimes it's the smallest thing that brings a smile.  This morning I was up early so that I might have a good, long, productive study day.  Coffee was definitely needed.

And so, today was the first day I was able to try my new Bodum French press.  Ooooh coffee love!

This is not to say I haven't pressed my coffee before.  I most certainly have, but I have (and had) the cheaper knock-offs.  This latest cheap knock off was terrible at actually filtering out the coffee grounds and more often than not my cup of java had a present near the bottom.  I could never enjoy a full cup.

I tired of this, and so I found this beauty discounted on eBay.  It arrived on Friday.  TODAY I cracked it open and put her to use.

Heaven.

A full bodied and delightful right to the bottom of my mug.

Yes, sometimes it's worth spending a little more to get a much better quality product.  Lesson learned.

Oh - and I learned something else today, other than the fact that Bodum has other very cool coffee/tea related accessories - they have a sprouter! That too makes me smile.  I know Arizona would love one of those.  I may have to pick it up now as it's on sale!

The things you learn as you do a blog post.

Moments enjoy a clean cup of coffee.
Moments recognizing quality sometimes comes at a cost.

Moments D711: Unexpected Compliments

Sometimes friends can really, truly surprise you.  Today was one of those days for me.

After another long day of peering at a mega-spreadsheet, it was finally complete and ready to share with the executive team.  A moment to celebrate given all the energy that has been poured into it over the past weeks (months?).  My way of celebrating was to take a well earned break and walk away from my desk for once.

Being near the end of the work day and Friday, I wandered into Arizona's office.  The rest of the team had ventured out to have a department lunch with our co-worker who was laid off back in February.  As much as I would have liked to join in on the festivities, the timing wouldn't allow it.  I wanted to find out how she was doing and catch up with Arizona as I really hadn't had much time all week to pause.  After briefly sharing how lunch was, it wasn't long before we were sharing stories of working out, aching muscles and results from the workouts.  It was within this conversation that Arizona dropped a pretty big (unexpected!) compliment my way.

An instant flush of heat hit me.  I was embarrassed, I was grateful, I was surprised by her words.  At first, we squabbled a bit about her compliment (okay, I did, and she firmly held her ground!).  In the end, there was nothing I could do but say thank you while scratching my head.  (After all, in my mind, all I could hear was "really?")

Sometimes the strangest things surface from your friends.

Sometimes it's impossible to argue against their logic.

Sometimes it's just good to take a compliment, even if your friend misses the point of the conversation being about sharing a personal frustration.  Her point:  I may be personally frustrated, but others tend to be more so.  Arizona reminded me to be grateful that I'm not in the "more so" category.

Okay girlfriend.  Message received.

Moments being shocked at a compliment.

Moments reminding you why you love your friends.

Moments D707: Birthday Presents

Yesterday, just before I dropped Arizona off at home, she gave me my birthday present.  I wasn't expecting one as we had just spent the entire day celebrating our mutual birthdays.  (Her birthday was just last Wednesday!)

Unfortunately we arrived home later than I had anticipated from the spa and I literally dropped my bags (including my present), on the floor in the dining room, made my way to the washroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face and crawled into bed.  Of course, that meant that tonight after work I had much to clean up. Of course, that also meant that I had a birthday present to open today!

Bangarang!

And so I did.  Just after work today.

What a delightful surprise.  Arizona had mentioned that it was a "silly" gift.  I don't believe that for a second.  She knows I'm a foodie and her gift fell right in line with that idea.  

Perfect!  I loved it.  I can't wait to see her tomorrow at work to thank her for the exciting ingredients!

Moments enjoying a late birthday gift.

Moments appreciating that a friend knows you well.

Moments D706: Wind, Fire, Water, Sun

Last year for my birthday a group of friends and I headed to the Scandinave Spa.  Last year, I swore that I'd make it a new tradition.  I think my friends thought I was kidding.  Nope...not even a little bit.

Unfortunately not everyone could join me this year.  Life gets busy, lives are filled with other obligations and finances are sometimes tight.  That said, it was something that I really wanted to do for my birthday (again!) and I was going to go one way or another - even if it was going to be by myself, or maybe later on in April.

Out of nowhere, very last minute, Arizona decided that we should go.  For the day.  Drive up, spa for the day, have a nice dinner at Blue Mountain and then drive home.  

And so we did.

What a treat!  It was an entire day focused just on the two of us.  A two hour drive to the spa on the first spring-like day we've had.  A beautiful start to a beautiful day.

We spent the entire day appreciating the spa's amenities.  The hot tubs, the steam room (still my favourite!), the sauna, less so the cold plunge pools (even if they do come in handy when you are very over heated!), and the sitting areas, which, is where today's moment found me.

After a good long soak in the hot tub with a waterfall, Arizona & I went and sat by an outdoor fire.  Our bodies steaming in the 4C degree air, we wrapped ourselves in our towels and sat in the Muskoka chairs in front of a big wrought iron pyramidal fire pit.    I closed my eyes, breathed deeply and slowly and soaked in my surroundings.

I could hear the slow fall of the waterfalls, just to my left.

I could hear the crackling fire just in front of me.

I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face, and the heat from the fire at my bare feet.

I could feel the wind whispering through my hair and encircling my body.

And I couldn't have been more at peace.  So quiet - within and without.

Yes, this is a good new tradition.  Here's hoping I can make another visit this year.  Perhaps a girlie outing in celebration of friendship and love.

Moments enjoying a new tradition with a beautiful friend.

Moments realizing that all the peace needed can be found by closing your eyes and breathing it in.

p.s.  Yes, Pearl joined us at the spa too!

Moments D586: Girls' Night In

Tonight I had my best ladies over for dinner and drinks.  It's the last Saturday night of 2013 for me here in Canada and I couldn't resist spending the time with my favourite ladies celebrating each other.

It was a night filled with much wine, fun and laughter!  It`s hard to filter down the awesome moments!  That said, there were two moments that really stand out for me.

The first is an app that Heini introduced us to.  Vivino.  Wow.  How much fun is this wine app??  I loved it instantly and I think the more I use it the more likely I'll end up buying the pro version.  FINALLY a way to manage my fridge of wines!  AMAZING!

The second awesome moment was when Bunny shared a bath time story with the group of us.  It was of her youngest son pooping in the bath.  Of course, there were rounds of laughter as Bunny acted out the scene.  Shortly after the first rounds of laughter were dying down, I asked when her youngest had done this.  Her reply?  Just minutes before she had headed out to meet up with us!  Another round of laughter ensued.  And then we learned that her hubby actually picked up the feces bare handed.  After a room going eeeeeeew....we all laughed again.

So much laughter tonight.  Yup.  Amazing time with the ladies tonight.

Moments finding an app that really is perfect for you.

Moments enjoying your friends in 2013 and looking forward to many more in 2014.

Moments D572: Parking Ticket

Why on earth would I list a parking ticket as a moment that made me smile?

Well, it's a good tale.

Tonight EQ & I met up with Archie & Comic Guy at Arizona's place for dinner.  She had a dinner party to spend some time with EQ before he heads back to SoCal.  Arizona had her best friend join us, so we were a table of six enjoying a delightfully home cooked meal.  We spent the entire evening swapping stories followed by much laughter.  It was, truly, a perfect evening.  

Those of us who drove were somewhat concerned at getting a parking ticket.  (After midnight, in most areas of the city, parking on the streets requires a permit.).  We thought we would play it safe and said our goodbyes around 12:15 am.  When we walked up to the car, it was plain as day that a ticket had already been issued.  {sigh}  The ticket, for $30, was issued at 12:08 am.    

For the briefest of moments I paused and a thought flickered.  EQ & I would have easily spent more than $30 going out for the tasty dinner that we enjoyed tonight.  The fact that we were able to enjoy the home cooked, love infused food prepared by Arizona at the cost of a $30 ticket seemed highly under valued.

And so, I smiled as I pulled the ticket from under my windshield wiper.  A good deal after all.

Crazy?  Ya maybe.  But life's too short.

Moments flipping perceptions around.

Moments finding the silver lining.

Moments D568: More Poppies

Today I decided to wear my poppy into work again.  As I pinned it on me this morning, I wondered why we didn't take more time to remember those who perished for us, for those that continue to fight in our name.  As I wake from a warm, dry bed, I wonder how those serving today aren't likely as fortunate.  As I look to my day ahead, drudging through the daily mundane task list, I think of them drudging through their days fighting for peace and freedom.

And so, today, I decided that November (yes the entire month) was going to be a month of remembering our protectors.

As a side bar, because I'm feeling a touch philosophical:  Do I wish we could abolish war?  Yes, of course! Unfortunately I'm not so naive.  I think we would all like to believe we can be humanitarian, share, and love one another in one big community watching out for one another.  If only life were that simple.  Simple it is not.

We live in a society that thrives on power and ownership.  A world where there are many different beliefs in how to achieve either, or, or both.  Naturally there is a clash of beliefs, a clash of wants, and sometimes an actual clash of needs.  I've seen enough apocalyptic and zombie movies to know that when push comes to shove, when someone comes to steal your way of life, you need to protect it.  Think about it.  What are your choices?  Give it away (and perish) or protect it (fight to keep it).   When someone is in dire need of something (and sometimes people are foolish enough to believe that their wants are needs), they will not stop until they either get what they want, or they are stopped.  Dark?  I suppose.  I think it's just reality.

All that being said, do I think we can slowly find better ways of sharing than the world we currently live in? To ease those extreme moments of clashing?  You better believe I do.  Everyday I chip away at that.  Everyday I try to find a special moment with people in my life to share with them.  Family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances.  I share.  I share my bizarre ideas of spreading light and positive energy.  I have (and will continue) to share my knowledge, my love, my patience, my food, my shelter, hell, my finances with many.  I will, at least I hope I will, always continue to do so because I believe that in sharing, we create a society of trust and love.

But I have learned, especially over the past year, that not all are deserving of trust and love.  Sometimes people will take advantage of you.  Sometimes they are malicious about it, in their search for power or ownership, sometimes it comes naturally and subconsciously.  Either way, no matter what the intent, the process is the same: they manipulate and take advantage of you for their own benefit.  This conniving, it's like someone trying to steal something you need away from you.  I am stronger now, and I recognize the manipulation more easily and I now choose to stand and protect myself from those people instead of being plundered.

Wow.  What a long winded way of me saying:  I think today, more than ever I can extrapolate from my experiences and see the reasoning behind armies and war.

So today, I wore my poppy into work again.

Not five minutes after I was sitting at my desk and Arizona asked me why I was still wearing my poppy.  I told her that I was going to remember our protectors all November.  She smiled, clapped her hands and told me she was going to wear her poppy into work tomorrow as well.

New tradition started?  Maybe.  Either way, that moment made me smile.

Moments pushing the limits and connecting dots.

Moments inspiring others.

Moments D557: Baby Brother Smiles

Today was my "little" brother's birthday. (Why the quotes?  Well, he may be my baby brother, but he's not so little!  I've always teased him that he could have shared some of his height with me!)  My moment comes from a brief phone call with him this evening.

I sent him a text early this morning wishing him a happy birthday.  His reply seemed a bit flat which had me sad that he wasn't feeling more excited and loved on his birthday.

After a busy day at work, and a fun evening out with Arizona & EQ to see Evil Dead - The Musical (SO MUCH FUN!), I called my baby brother to wish him happy birthday in person.

He sounded surprised to hear from me.  Good!  I could hear the smile in his voice.  Better!  He was in his truck on his way out for drinks with the boys.  AWESOME.

Even more surprisingly, we ended up talking the entire drive from his house to his friend's house.  The five minute chat I had expected turned into a deeper 15+ minute conversation filled with laughs.  It was really great to have the time to catch up with him and hear him smiling on the other end of the phone.

Moments to send birthday love.

Moments turned into sharing laughter and smiles.

Moments D527: Indian Summer & Problem Solving

Today is as warm as a summer day - 25 degrees, on the second day of October.  Global warming?  Maybe.  Regardless, I'm happy to be sporting sandals still and not full on shoes.

Today was a challenging day in that I found out that a possible solution to a problem I have fell very, VERY flat.  Bummer.  Right?

Today's moment, other than pausing to enjoy the Indian Summer we are having, is all about picking myself up and dusting myself off to get back to solving the problem.  Sure, sure, I moaned and groaned  about it a wee bit first thing, but I did make my way back to the drawing board.  As Newt Gingrich once said:

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.

And, before I knew it, I had a couple more options circling  'round.

Arizona stepped up with a couple of ideas and will continue to dig into it for me.  My RMT, also had a couple of suggestions.  Bottom line, with a little more digging, I'm sure a solution will present itself.  There is hope to finding a solution before it really become a problem.

Moments enjoying the warm fall weather.

Moments knowing that all is not lost, a solution will present itself - with some hard work.

I'm rolling up my sleeves.

The reason a lot of people do not recognize opportunity is because it usually goes around wearing overalls looking like hard work.
Thomas A. Edison 

Moments D478: Enveloped in Love

Today was a challenging day, after all, returning from vacation is never easy with a pile on your desk to greet you.  Today was no different even though it was only 2 days out of the office - much had transpired while I was away.

Without going into the specifics, suffice it to say that it was a lot.  A lot to process, a lot to understand and a lot to dig more deeply into.  I'll get through it, I always do, but that doesn't mean that I didn't feel beaten up today because of it.

But you know what happened?  My beautiful support group swooped in to help carry the burden and allow me the ability to vent, to process, to see other perspectives.  Arizona gave me much needed hugs, Mr. Ray of Light has promised to help out with the logistics and research that is needed, BFF sent much love & light to help push me through the day and remind me that I will get through it all, my parents offered up an interesting perspective (or two) as did my sweet EQ.

So much love and support in a blink of a day.  I am very fortunate to have the support system I have.  It made today that much more bearable.  Everything will be okay.  I believe.

Moments processing unexpected information.

Moments leaning into the support of your loved ones and finding peace.

Moments D466: Girls Night Out

Running on a mere 3.5 hours of sleep and emotionally drained, I very nearly bailed on my Friday.  Part of me wanted to just pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all day.

I refused to succumb!  I dragged my tired butt out of bed, drank a boatload of coffee, had an incredibly productive and fun day at work (we had a Mexican potluck lunch!) and then I freshened up and went out with some fabulous girls from work.

We went bar hopping on Queen West, from the Caddy (for dinner and an awesome bourbon caesar) to the Savoy for a couple of drinks, to the Church for a couple more drinks.  From there we walked up Ossignton and had a few laughs along the way.   From one wine bar with a bar full of gents shooing us away because they were closed for a private party (though the door was open!) to going into and then quickly out of another bar that had a strange hip hop vibe.  We finally settled at the Dakota Tavern where Melissa Payne was playing.

Though I was tired and a little less lively than normal, it was an incredibly fun night out. Sometimes blowing off some steam is exactly what is needed.

Moments pushing through exhaustion.

Moments celebrating new friendships and girl power.

Moments D465: Truth Sets you Free

We all have skeletons in the closet.  One's personal history is not always easy to revisit, but sometimes, a lot of time actually, it is vital to do so.  Being the person I am, one always looking to grow and evolve, I knew that I would have to share more about one particular skeleton than I ever wanted to.  In the end, today was a big growth day. It hurt, but it didn't break me. Sometimes growing hurts; I accept that.  Life is about the journey.  Without the pains of life, we have less capacity to enjoy the beauty of life.  I accept that Yin/Yang understanding of my world.  And so, without further preamble, today's moment is about sharing difficult, dark truths and leaning on those you love for the light they shine creating a pathway out of the dark.

________________________________________
I've been quiet the past few days because I had a bombed dropped in my lap this past week.  In a week that had too much on my plate to deal with, one of my skeletons rose its ugly, angry, abusive head.  And I had to deal with it.  I couldn't ignore it.  And though I reached out to one within my support system, I swore her to secrecy.  I then dealt with the situation as quickly as my jammed schedule would allow. I didn't share my struggle, my fear, or my shock with the rest of my support system.  Fear and shame held me hostage - I held it close to me and suffered through the coaster of emotions.  I hid from the world and more importantly I hid from those I loved.

Four days later, armed with some answers, I felt more confident (which does not mean I was confident, far from it!) to shed light into those dark recesses of my closet.  I wasn't sure I was ready to go into those corners, but I was aware that it was necessary.  Most importantly, being transparent with the man I love was necessary.  So, filled with shame, guilt, anger (for finding myself in this position in the first place) and a touch of fear, I filled in the support system I have in my life.  I really wasn't ready for the onslaught of love, light and support that I found enveloping me.

Those that love me were not happy with me for carrying this burden alone.  Their first reaction was to express their disappointment and anger for my decision to walk alone through this.  From coworkers to my best friends, the message was the same.  "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"  Amazingly (and maybe I shouldn't be amazed, as my friends are incredible people), their anger and disappointment quickly morphed to love and support.  Their gentle reminders, words of encouragement and understanding began to lift the dark cloud of fear for sharing such a dark truth.

I'm still processing the darkness.  As I sit in anger at myself, I know that I will need some time to forgive myself.  But, sharing this truth; sharing this darkness, has given me a new perspective on my past and a breath of light that I needed to help shed the darkness.  It's given me a new appreciation for that which I have learned.  I've been naive.  I've allowed myself to be used and manipulated.  I didn't hear (I listened!) to the warning signs from my best friends.  I had a path to walk and I walked it regardless of the warnings.  I had a lesson to learn.  I've learned.  My dear, loving friends.....I. HAVE. LEARNED.

Moments digging deeper than you ever want to go.

Moments sharing truth and leaning on your loved ones and knowing that you are surrounded in love and light.

Moments D427: Life is for living, not for ghosts

Today was a rather intense day.  I'm not sure where all the emotions surfaced from, but I do know that a lot of them started because of ghosts of the past.  The distant past, the near past, the very near past.  Conversations had throughout the day with Arizona and EQ brought much to the surface again.  As I watch Arizona struggle to find her place with her own complicated relationship, I am reminded of my own long-term relationship that I walked away from.  Discussing and sharing with EQ to give perspective on the past couple of years and then couple of months, stirred emotions deep within.

Reflecting now, I know that subconsciously the stirring also comes from the fact that I was scheduled to meet up with my old neighbour tonight.  It's the first time I've been back to my old 'hood since my life shifted.  I know (now) that I was nervous about that.  There was much to catch up on.  It's been nearly 1.5 years now since I've been by my old home and  in my old neighbourhood.  Was I ready to see the house I once owned and fell in love with and where I fell out of love with the life I was living? I worried about how I'd feel looking at my carefully planned front garden bed. After all, last summer I couldn't bring myself to drive by to see it. Top that off with the fact that my delightful ex-neighbour has been fighting breast cancer for the past 8 months and well, it's a highly emotionally charged moment.  Life.  Near death.  Life.

When I arrived, the new home owner was outside speaking to my ex-neighbour.  She's absolutely delightful and she expressed just how much she loves living in my old home.  When I left 1.5 years ago, my BFF and I wished the house well, and asked it to please offer the next owner as much love and light as it could.  To continue to be a happy home, but to be a home filled with more love.  The new owner loves her home, I can't help be feel a touch responsible for that (ego perhaps?)  I couldn't have asked for more.  She offered a tour, but I politely declined.  In that moment when I declined, I thought to myself:  "why did I do that?"  I realized, I was barely looking at "my" beautiful front garden as well.  Instead of my energy going to the past, all of my energy was focused on my ex-neighbour - SHE LOOKED INCREDIBLE.

After a double mastectomy, chemo and radiation (all in the last 8 months) she looked AMAZING.  My energy and focus was all with her.  As we went into her house and sat in the back yard (I won't lie) I peeked over her fence into my old back yard.  The natural cedar now stained, the fountain trickling away, there was a moment of pang; I missed my backyard.  And then my ex-neighbour handed me a glass of the prosecco I brought (to celebrate her success in kicking cancer), and I knew that the ghosts of my past were really behind me.  I looked at her and said, I miss my backyard, and my awesome bathtub, but you know, I've never been happier, and I know that I can always do something as spectacular or better.  And I gave her another hug and repeated the obvious - that she looked incredible.  

And if I might, because the words are beautiful and thoughtful, EQ's perspective of the moment was this:

"...you [will] look at your old flowerbeds, feel a bit wistful, and then smile because you know you're on a new path in life, and you've left a small bit of beauty behind for others to tend to and enjoy. Seeds planted, new life all around."

I couldn't agree more.

During the rest of my visit, the fact that I was sitting outside of my old home slowly vanished away.  It's a piece of me and it always will be, but I realized at one point in our evening that life is for the living.  For looking forward and planning for that future.  I can't look back any more, nor can I regret any steps I've made in my life.  Each and every step makes me who I am today and while some of those lessons learned were not easy, they were all necessary.  Today, I find myself to be a much more strong and independent person than I've ever been.  Yes, life is for the living, not for the ghosts of my past.

So today's moment:  I celebrate life.  The fight for life, the amazing people that continue to cross my path and bring me inspiration and love and light.  My ex-neighbour, a fighter, but also a woman with a soft kind soul that would give you the shirt of her back if you needed it more than she did.  I'm fortunate to continue to have her in my life and I can honestly say I look forward to our next girlie-night-catch-up.  Hopefully not 1.5 years from now!

Moments of internal commotion of emotion....calming into eddies.

Moments that paint the bigger picture in bright beautiful colour.

Moments D425: A new day, a new path

Last night I had an amazing conversation that melted into the wee hours of the morning.  Inspiring, soul searching and heart filling is what this conversation was to me.  When I finally shut my eyes near 4am, I wasn't yet ready to leave the conversation, but I was exhausted and needed to allow sleep to find me.

When I awoke at 11 am, my new day, my new path was in full swing.  My long weekend plans are nearly laid out and it will be a weekend like no other.

That being said, getting to that point was not easy.  Here's why:  Yesterday flight costs were $500 (give or take), when I went to book my flight this morning, they were now $1300.  After cozy-ing into and committing to this new path, my first step onto the path and I hit a fairly major obstacle.  An $800 difference.  My budget....blown.  What on earth to do now.

Instead of total panic, I had lunch with Arizona and of course we talked about my challenge.  She put it in simple terms:  How important was it that I go on this trip.  I didn't even pause before answering:  it was very important to me and my next steps.  And so, then and there over falafals, I decided, no matter what it would take, I was going to go to Chicago.

As a side-bar:  Chicago is significant for me on a couple of levels.  Perhaps that will rise out in another blog post.  Suffice it to say, here today, that it brings closure and renewal all at once.  I look forward to making new beautiful memories in a city I fell in love with nearly 2 years ago.

When I returned home from lunch, I rolled up my sleeves and dug in.  I was ready to make the 8 hour drive alone if I had to.  Instead, I found a flight out of Buffalo.  Now, my new path is officially cleared of obstacles.  It is fully out in front of me.  I paused today during the flurry of research and questions.  I wonder, if on some level, this was the universe testing my will, or testing my commitment to my new path.  If it were a test, I dare say I passed it with flying colours, for I am still on said path.

I'm excited.  I'm filled with hope and wonder and I can't wait to turn the page and begin this new chapter.

Moments being shocked and uncertain.

Moments knowing, deep down, you'll do whatever it takes to make it happen.

Moments D404: Windy Wine Country

Today was a long,long day. I was up and out of bed by 7 am and I didn't get home until nearly 11 pm. But what an incredible day it was!

I was up and out picking up Arizona, and then Heini to join my besties for breakfast at 9 am. After a hearty breakfast at Golden Griddle, the five of us were on our way to meet up with another 5 friend and to enjoy a day of wine tasting in the “Bench” of the Niagara Escarpment.



There was food, wine, and music throughout this event. The weatherman had been calling for clouds and rain later in the afternoon; we were fortunate: most of the afternoon was filled with extremely windy sunshine. (I suppose those high winds were left over from the tornadoes in the Southern states!)

The 10 of us managed to visit 4 of the 7 wineries. We enjoyed tasting the food, sampling the wines and taking in the music at each location. It was a brilliant day. An opportunity for everyone to mix and mingle and have a chance to get to know new friends. There were many beautiful moments today, but one of the best was when the summer storm finally hit while we were at one of my favourite wineries in the region: Peninsula Ridge.





We all tucked in under the tent and watched as the rain clouds blew in. We then watched the clouds unload their burden. It was a full on summer downpour. We laughed, with played in it, we debated if it was a “warm” rain or not. And before we knew it, the rain storm had moved on just as quickly as it had arrived. The sun was out once again and we were off to our final destination, my other favourite winery in the region: Fielding Estate.

We spent the last of our tickets here on food and wine. We enjoyed the humid windy and the solo artist singing out Johnny Cash. It was an incredible day, followed by a fun dinner out together and tea after that. We were all a little burnt, “wined-out”, and tired by the time we rolled home, but I think we all felt like our souls were recharged from sharing the experience together and enjoying the outdoors for as long as we had.

Moments enjoying the fickle weather with delicious (and some not so delicious!) wines.

Moments building lasting memories with your friends.

Moments D400: The small things; the big things

Being my four hundredth entry, I thought I should kick it up a notch. And today had a couple of moments that were relevant to a share in a milestone blog post.

Today was an incredibly busy day (yes I know, you are getting used to this by now!). But today was one of those days where I felt that sense of control slipping. Where the mass of “To Do’s” were going to swallow me up. And yet, I managed to take moments to breathe through the rising panic. I organized, prioritized and set off to tackle them one by one.

That’s a big deal for me. And as I sit here now, post-reading for my class tomorrow night, I don’t feel overwhelmed or out of control. I feel like I’ve done what I can given the tools and resources I have. Everything will work out because I do have control over that with my words and my time management. One way or another, things will get done.

A second big thing today happened, my BFF had a particularly challenging day. So much so that the news she received may be life altering for her. I tried to send her as much love and light as I could with my given time today, but it serves as a reminder of just how precious our time is, how important it is to monitor our health and invest in self above all else. (I know most of us are terrible at that!) It also brought to the forefront just how important my BFF (actually all my friends, but in this case my BFF specifically) and how important it is to share words of encouragement and love to help them through dark times.

And finally a very small moment that warmed my heart today. Today, my girlfriend from work and I, let’s call her Arizona, went to grab a coffee together today. In all honesty, we’ve rarely done this in the past because our offices were in two separate buildings only weeks ago. But this morning we went together. That in itself was a lovely moment, but there is one, smaller, and more meaningful moment to me.

Arizona & I picked up coffees for a few people in the office, one of which was destined for an amazingly creative and loving receptionist. Having been with our company for close to 20 years, she has had some serious health battles. But, she is a fighter and a lover and everyone very much adores her.

Today, we surprised her with a coffee. The genuine surprise and gratitude did not go unnoticed. Truly, this is why she is loved so. She is not shy with her sharing of love and light. Her reaction brought not only a smile to Arizona and me, but her words warmed my heart and that inspired me through the early challenges of my day. Karma? Maybe. Either way, I was happy to share a small token of love and appreciation with her.

Moments quietly appreciating the big steps taken and the significant importance of people.

Moments with enthusiastic appreciation of the small things.