Moments D459: Nerves and pushing through

Before today I've played golf, on a golf course, exactly twice.

Today, I took the day off of work and joined three of my baseball buddies to go golfing.  They all golf.  One actually went to school to become a golf course designer.  Golf is his passion.  Another golfs frequently and will be doing much more of that next year as he has decided to shed a baseball team to make more time for his golf.  The third, he's out golfing often in the summer.  And then there was me - this was to be my third time on a golf course.

As we made our way to the golf course (together in one vehicle) the two avid golfers discussed golf.  I was nervous as I drove to meet them for our carpool.  This did nothing for my comfort level!  Now I was even more nervous.  I spoke up, explaining that this was my third time playing a game, that sure, I'd been mini-golfing (NOT the same) a zillion times and to a driving range a few times, but this would be the third time playing on a course.  I asked the course designer to feel free to share some tips and tricks with me as I'd likely need them and I promised them that I would do my very best not to be an anchor to the team.

But underneath, I was a bundle of nerves.  I didn't want to be an anchor to the team.  Playing best ball, it wasn't likely to happen anyway, I knew this, but I'm not very good at not being good at something and this crew won the tournament last year.  I feared I would be a distraction to their game.  I was quieter than my normal self as I tried to quell my nerves so that I could, at the very least, just enjoy the day away from the office and have some fun without putting too much pressure upon myself.

But, I am who I am.  I like to do well.  I like to be a contributing member of whatever team I'm on.  I am not typically that person that needs to be pulled along.  I was a fish-out-of-water here.  Nerves.

And then, the moment I was most nervous about arrived.  Tee time.  The first drive.  The fist time I'd be swinging a club since last fall.   Top that off with the fact that my foursome asked me to go first.  WOW.  Talk about nerves.

I took my time walking up to my tee.  I breathed deeply as I placed my ball upon its tee.  Stepping back from the tee, I took a few practice swings and tried to remember all the little points to a good swing.  I visualized connecting with the ball and I reminded myself to breathe.     And then, I stepped up to the little white ball on the bright red tee, I breathed in deeply and as I exhaled I began my swing.

I connected with the ball well enough and my ball ended up nearly smack dab middle on the fairway!  Phew.  What a relief that was.  Perhaps I wasn't going to be a total distraction after all!  In the end, we ended up using my drive for the best ball on hole one.  That was a good boost in confidence.

As the remaining holes came and went, I had my ups and downs in my golf game.  I learned tips.  I learned that I didn't like to clip the ground and make a divot and how that messed up my swing.  (apparently golfing is about clipping the ground!)  I learned that over-thinking my swing didn't do me any favours.  I learned how to do a proper pitch (and managed to do two really well!  Better than the boys even!)  I learned a lot about clubs and when to use them.  And, I learned that even those who play the game with a lot more experience make stupid silly mistakes.  That this sport is all about perfecting a skill that is not easy to perfect.  There are so many subtleties that can go wrong.  (e.g. a slight twist of the club (open or closed) has serious consequences to how the ball is hit.)  It is definitely a game of skill, concentration and patience.

In the end, it was almost meditative to me.  I enjoyed being outside in the beautiful sunny summer day.  I enjoyed pausing and breathing and ensuring that my body was aligned just so, so I could hit the ball just so.   I  liked being overly self-aware of how I was swinging and understanding how fast the greens were or countering the winds.

It was an incredible day.  One filled with nervous energy.  A day of learning, laughing and growing.

Moments pushing beyond one's comfort zone.

Moments learning and growing.

Moments D456: Bruises

Today I did some research on how to deal with major bruises.  Why?  Well, that's because I managed to bruise not one, but BOTH my ankles in the baseball tournament this past weekend.  (They really aren't pretty!  Here's a picture of them today, 4 days later!)

My right ankle is most certainly a "flesh wound" as I know the softball hit smack on my calf muscle. Unfortunately for my left ankle, it's not so simple.  I took a hard bouncing grounder directly off my ankle joint/bone.  I swear I felt my ankle shift when it hit.  When it first happened, my ankle went numb and I couldn't put much pressure on it.  Within a few minutes I was back up and playing the rest of the game.  (And no, I didn't quite make the play out at first, though I did stop the ball and they didn't take 2nd base!)

Now, I'm pretty sure that I simply have severe bruising. My BFF and EQ don't necessarily have the same confidence that I do about it.  On top of their concerns, I'm thinking about the Tough Mudder event that I'm training for come the end of September in the back of my mind.  I certainly want to make sure that my ankles are going to be okay to train on and push hard come September.  And so, with the gentle pushing from my BFF and EQ, I headed to see a doctor tonight about my left ankle which took the worst blow.  The doctor agreed with my BFF & EQ:  I need an x-ray on my left ankle.  Stay tuned!  My x-ray is first thing tomorrow morning!

In the meantime I did a little digging on how to help huge bruises cycle through quickly.  I found this website that was definitely helpful on how to get rid of bruises.  (And yes, I had a good giggle about using a leech, after all, I have a bucket full of leeches beneath my sink for just such an occasion!)  So far, I've been doing what I can to help the bruises break up and dissipate.  I even had my ankles in the sun today at lunch as I had a quick chat with EQ.

Interestingly, I was told today by Hawk that maybe it was a bruised bone, not a fracture.  She, unlike BFF & EQ thought I was jumping the gun on an x-ray.   Later, I was told by EQ that bones can't bruise. As someone who has managed to avoid serious injury most of her life, I really didn't know one way or the other. Confused and ready to find out I did a little digging on the subject.  The short of it, you really can bruise your bones.  

Basically a bone is bruised from a forceful impact (sports, accident or direct hit) that isn't strong enough to break or fracture the bone.  Treatment:  rest, support, and protect the injured bone and apply conventional treatments for trauma.

So, today, I learned something new.  How to deal with large bruises and that you really can bruise your bones.

Moments considering your options.

Moments realizing it's better to get answers instead of guesses.  

Moments D453: Gun Show

Today was our baseball tournament.  While it was fun, we lost and I was injured, twice.  (I now have two ankles that are bruised and swollen.  Ah, well.  It serves me right for not catching the ball in the first place, right?)

The team went for lunch after our first two games at our local watering hole and today's moment was when we all sat down at the outdoor table.  My coach looked at me and said, "Show me the gun show."  I looked at him quizzically and then looked at a couple of my team mates to see what the heck he was talking about.  One of the gents started laughing and explained that earlier in the day he had asked our coach if he was "...ready for the gun show..."  at which point he had showed our coach his "guns" (which is showing off your flexed biceps).

Interestingly, our coach had no idea what that had meant...so this was a fun new experience for him. Coach's reply:  those aren't guns...I'll show you guns!

And circle back to all of us sitting at the lunch table and Coach asking me to show him the gun show.  Apparently Coach felt I had better guns than my team mate's guns.  Well, after that story, how could I not oblige?    And so, I showed off my biceps to the table of baseball team mates. We all had a good chuckle.  (And yes, my guns were more defined than my team mates!)

Moments being put in the spotlight.
Moments laughing with your team.

Moments D416: Rain, rain come along.....

Today I made up my own little song or rhyme. I was inspired as I was tagged to play in a late baseball game last night as a sub. After a busy, tiring week, I wasn’t sure I wanted to head out to play baseball at 9:30pm…..in a wet field.

So, instead of chanting away the rain, I made up a new chant.

It made me smile. It’s the moment I share today.

Rain, rain, come along

Let me sing my silly song

Rain, rain, com along

It didn’t work. I played ball. We won. I ran the bases four times. But it was fun to sign it all day long and to taunt our baseball coach that we’d be rained out. My punishment - it rained while we were playing. We all got wet! We laughed a little more. It was so much fun. I’m glad I went. I’m glad my chant against the rain didn’t work.

Funny how things work out sometimes!

Moments being silly.

Moments singing.

Moments D391: BBQ Smokefest

Today I woke feeling lazy and so I switched my day up. Originally I was going to head to the beach to play volleyball all day before heading to my baseball coach’s BBQ. Instead, I was lazy and planted my herb garden. It felt good to have my hands in the earth. I missed that last summer, but last year I was hurting about leaving my gardens behind at my old home. I wasn’t ready to have my hands in the earth again. Today however, I was ready. And I loved every minute of it.

And then my oldest girlfriend came over. Stop the presses…..

I’m going to give “my oldest girlfriend” a nickname because here in my blog it’s easier and I think it’s time. Heini. She is now dubbed Heini because while I’ve known her forever, she’s not my oldest girlfriend, just one that’s been in my life for a very long time.

Phew. I’m glad we have that sorted out.

So Heini came over just as I had hopped out of the shower. I finished prettifying and she tossed the salad we were bringing to the BBQ and off we went.

The BBQ was a smokefest. Ribs, burgers, salads, beer, caesars, oh my! So much food. The company was great, the food was amazing, but the best moment of the day was when Heini offered to help clean away the paper plates after we ate.

Now, Heini is shorter than I am. I’m 5’4.75”. The gent hosting the BBQ is likely close to 6’ tall. He scopped the plates from the table before she could dive in and literally held them high above her head. And Heini jumped for them.

It was like a bad scene out of a comedy. And on cue, we all laughed deeply about it. How amusing to watch. Of course, she lost that battle. (if you’re going to lose a battle that’s not such a bad one to lose!)

Moments with friends & great food.

Moments of belly hurting laughter.

Moments D381b: Champions & Losers

BTW - yesterday was also a double header for me and I had to share.

I played in my season’s playoffs last night from 6-8pm. We were in first place. We played hard, we played well, and we WON the championship.

And then, I went to the late game to sub in with my baseball team from last year. This team has been placed in the top tier. It shouldn't be. We lost. We lost very, very badly. But, you know, we all had a lot of fun. That’s what matters most, right?

Moments D311: Dance off

Tonight was my baseball banquet. It’s been months since I’ve seen all of my team mates at one table. It was a merry event. Hugs, laughter, sharing of stories, food and drink. All around, it was great to see everyone and catch up on what’s been keeping them busy over the past 3-4 months.

And then, there’s the few of us that have connected a couple of times in between. There’s 6 of us (though we were missing one key player!). When the others started to slowly filter out of the pub, the 5 of us cozied in on the big empty table. More drinks, more laughter.

And then, the dancing. Oh sure, I danced, but that wasn’t the moment that stands out. The moment that most warmed my heart was watching two of my team mates try to out dance the other. Reggae style. To a karaoke styled Michael Jackson song. It. Was. HILARIOUS!

I haven’t laughed that hard in a long, long time.

This is why I love these guys so much. Our baseball team wasn’t amazing and we didn’t always win, but we ALWAYS had fun. We ALWAYS laughed. And now….we dance.

Moments with friends.

Moments getting silly with the music.

#moments #dancing #baseball #friends

Moments D199: First aid

Today ended up being a day of waiting. Waiting for answers. Waiting to head out for the day (or as it turned out for the evening). A test of patience if ever there was one. But, once the wait and drive out of town was over the fun kicked in. This was no night for gentleman Jack….just the regular everyday version. Jack and I were quick to reacquaint ourselves. I had time to make up as everyone at the party was already up to speed…..

As a side bar - What a fantastic group of people and I’m so happy to have met them this past summer. Playing baseball with the lot, or just hanging out over a beverage - these are good peeps. I’m glad I was able to have one last hurrah with them post-baseball season.

Sadly even athletic, good peeps can be klutzy. This was the case of one of our teammates. After surviving a slippery hot tub/pool visit (the mamma bear in me (and being the most sober) had, admittedly expected the worse there), it was the shower that took him out. He arrived back at the “party room” his finger held tight by his other hand. He was bleeding pretty good after cutting himself shaving.

Fortunately I travel with a first aid kit. Yes, yes, I know. Make fun of me if you must, but THIS time, it was handy to have. I immediately kicked into gear and cleaned, wrapped and taped up his bloody finger. The wrap job was so good that it lasted all night. That made me smile.

I’ll take the teasing. I’m just glad we didn’t need to rush out and find band-aids. Instead we were able to just focus on the task at hand and take it all in stride.

Moments to be prepared.

Moments of fun and silliness.

Moments D158: Terrible Food, Good Company

Today was another day filled with work. Work-work, school-work and personal-work. Not much fun! But there was a light at the end of the tunnel….my baseball banquet.

I almost didn't join my summer baseball team, after all, I hadn't played in nearly 20 years. But I wanted to, perhaps I even needed to, be outside and busy this past summer, so I joined.

I can’t tell you how happy I am that I joined this league. Not only were my team mates amazing, but I also met some fun umpires and people from the competition that I can now call friends. All amazing people. So many laughs and smiles over the summer with this crew. I feel that my life is more having had this experience. But I digress…..

Tonight was the banquet. We had a choice of roast beef or chicken for dinner. Sadly, neither dish was very good. Both options were overcooked. I would have been happier with a plate filled with the side salad and called it a night!

But instead of really noticing the food, I noticed the company. The people around me. I wasn’t upset at the terrible food, I was elated by the energy of the good people around me. The stories, the outright giggles and guffaws. It is moments like these that I believe fills our souls. Happy, silly moments when you don’t care if your food sucks, you are just so darned happy to be there.

Moments with new friends.

Moments of laughter and giggles.

#moments #friends #baseball #laughter #food

Moments D141: Green Purple Pigeons

Today started off with an earlier-than-normal hectic schedule, but through all of the frenzy my sights were on the end of the day. This is not typical for me, for I love to work hard and see the fruits of my labours come to life. But today…..I was leaving on time. I had important plans. I.COULD.NOT.WAIT.FOR.THE.END.OF.THE.DAY!

A chunk of our baseball team is playing in a golf tournament sponsored by one of our team sponsored bars - The Moose & Barrel. And so, my bestie and I headed from work (on time for once) and to hit a bucket of balls at the driving range at Polson Pier. But before balls, we ate Chino Locos with a tasty beer! (If you didn’t know by now, it’s one of my favourites burritos places in the city….okay, who’s kidding who. They ARE my favourite…I have their phone number saved in my phone!!)

And while all of this is delightful and made me happy, this wasn’t the biggest moment of my day. Once our bucket of balls was depleted we were off to see “City and Colour” at the Molson Amphitheatre.

With our plastic guitar of red wine, my BFF and I settled in for the night. I loved the energy of “The Avett Brothers” and in particular enjoyed “Will You Return” and “January Wedding”, but we were eager to hear our favourite songs by City and Colour.

And Dallas Green and his crew did not disappoint. AMAZING. Simply AMAZING. If you are curious to see what the set list was, it’s here.

But today’s moments was a culmination of moments. It was during “Weightless” (you can read the lyrics here). This moment was when I stopped watching the stage filled with my two favourite colours (green and purple) and took a look at the crowd behind me. As I was about to turn back to the stage flashing green spots onto a purple background, I saw a flock of pigeons flying overhead. What a beautiful sight as their bodies and wings sparkled with the light cast over them against the black of the night sky behind them. I watched them circle and twinkle. And then the entire flock disappeared. It was a beautiful, smile inducing moment. And one that makes the list!

Moments that are unexpected.

Moments that are colourful.

#Moments #City and Colour #Food #music #golf #baseball

Moments D128: New Friends (Teamwork2)

Today is another day of endings. It’s the end of baseball season for me. And while our baseball team didn’t fair very well in the standings, we DID make a great team.

Today I smile for the new friends I’ve made. The shared laughter, bruises and skinned legs. I smile for the silliness and for the opportunity to revisit a sport I haven’t played in 20 years. It was a summer of exploration, of reconnecting with myself and my baseball team brought me a little closer to me again. I can’t begin to express the gratitude I have for this team of men & women.

I’ve re-learned the game of baseball; from second base, to outfield, to mid-field to third and short stop. I’ve found my inner ball player again; the need to swing hard and run fast; the need to chase balls down and throw for the double play. (like tonight’s). Great new memories. Great new friends.

AND - if you want a giggle, read this summary of our Monday night subbing in last week. TOO much fun.

Moments of reflection.

Moments with new friends.

Moments D117: Smoking the ball

Today was day two of the tournament, and the best moment, by far, was the moment where I smoked the ball past the left fielder.

It was late in our first game. We were losing, but we were keeping up the fight. I was bound and determined NOT to swing at the first pitch (something I struggle to avoid as I’m eager to hit the ball!). I found my patience for this “at bat”. I let the first pitch go. It was a ball. (phew). I thought to myself, “okay, let’s do that again. I don’t need to rush this.” and I let the second pitch go. It was a strike. Disappointed that I had let that go, I was eager, but aware when the third pitch came my way.

It was a perfect pitch with an arc that met my hard swung bat with quite a bit of force. It was truly, the best connection I’ve had all season, and the proof was in its flight. It went right over the left fielder’s head. He wasn’t even close even though he did give it a good run. It was an easy double for me and I batted in a run. Yes a very, VERY good moment for me today.

The poor left fielder was teased for the rest of the game by his female teammates and I received congrats from a bunch of them for “smoking the ball” past him. Even on different teams, us gals stick together!

Moments of girl power.

Moments of success.

Moments to glow and bask in the light.

Moments D107: Baseball in the Rain

Today’s bigger, deeper soul moment was about love & light. But there was also a smaller, yet also quite meaningful moment that happened today as well that I feel must be shared.

Today it rained most of the day. It wasn’t a pretty day, but it was still one filled with love. After work I had an early baseball game. It was still raining when I left the office for the field. I simply was NOT looking forward to playing in the rain. (We are only cancelled out if there is thunder and lightening.) I might even admit I was a bit grumpy about it, but being a team player, I wasn’t about to bail.

And then, something magical happened. Upon arrival at the field I was greeted by two smiling team mates. We warmed up in the rain. I got a soaker. We laughed. I was made fun of. We laughed some more.

And soon I forgot about the fact the rain. It was a drizzle for most of our game, but it turned out to be fun and silly….

It was a great game. Not only because we won, but because our team had much fun together. It was the first time during our season where I felt more me than ever. I was quirky and silly. I cheered when I would have otherwise felt to shy to do so.

Moments of revelation.

Moments of camaraderie.

Moments of friends.

Moments of silliness and laughter. (but no mud as expected!)

Moments D93: Mom's Wish

Today it was calling for major thunderstorms to start early in the evening to last throughout the evening. Now, as much as I love storms, I had a baseball game at 6:45pm. My dear Mom knew this and about 5:30pm yesterday, just before I was to head out from work she sent me an instant message that simply said: ”No rain tonight”. We had a brief exchange and I was on my way to the field.

Amazingly the ominous storm clouds held their bounty. We played our full game and then the team went back to the sponsoring bar for food, drinks and great conversation. We sat on the patio. Again, the clouds held off their release. We were then charmed by a duet of live music. It wasn’t long before most of the team was singing alone.

So thanks Mom for whispering the words to the universe for me - for us. It was a great night of baseball, friends & fun.

Moments from Mom.

Moments D89: Mama Bear

Today’s moment was one of my “mama bear” moments.

If you don’t know what that “mama bear” moment is….it’s that moment where I can’t help but do what I can to take care of people. It’s where I go out of my way to support, feed, clothe someone.

Today, I did that for our baseball team….and it always feels good to offer up a serving of love (in this case in terms of entertainment and food!)

Unfortunately we lost our one game of the day today AND we missed out on the run differential to move into the semi-finals by 4 runs. Sadly, we didn’t know this right away and the team had to sit through another round of games before we would know we were moving on, or moving to the bar…..

So, in that hour and a bit….we lounged around behind one of the fields. Boring…sitting in the sun waiting. So I pulled out my volleyball and my frisbee. Frisbee was a hit! We played for quite some time before deciding we were hungry. With only 40 min left before we were to possibly play another game, there really wasn’t much time to go out and grab food. So, I pulled out my stash for the tournament. Cheese, chips and an apple. I managed to share quite a bit of my wares.

I do love to share.

Sadly - the wait, the snack, the entertainment was all for not…as we weren’t moving into the semis.

Okay - maybe not for not. We still enjoyed tossing the frisbee and eating cheese and chips together.

Moments of caring.

Moments of sharing.

Moments with new friends.

Moments D88.5: Mystery Volleyball Man

I couldn’t help myself. I needed to share another special moment from the weekend.

Yesterday between our 9am and our 10:30am game we had a block of about 30 mins to fill. I brought my volleyball with me in the hopes that I could pepper with someone while we were hanging about.

At first, I played with a couple of team mates, but it wasn’t long before they realized just how much work it was to keep the ball going in the right direction and chasing after those that weren’t perfectly passed. I think in a matter of 5-10 minutes I lost both team mates that were peppering with me to the bench.

Shortly before my team mates bailed on me, there was this young gentleman (who seemingly came out of nowhere) who asked one of my team mates if he could join in on the volleyball. (There were three of us playing at the time, he became the fourth.)

For me, it was obvious that he could play. He and I were digging up the others’ bad passes. When the other two sat down Mr. Mystery Volleyball Man and I kept peppering. We did this for another 20 minutes….right to the time where I was supposed to be out in the field again! I literally dropped my volleyball, thanked him for his time and picked up my baseball glove. Talk about a strange moment! (One that I had to share!)

For the record, I did find out that Jonathan was from Panama, here in Toronto studying English. He lives (and studies) in the area where we were playing ball.

How fortunate I was to have run into a good volleyball player, randomly, at a baseball tournament to help me pass the time in a way I love most.

Thank you universe.

Moments of synchronicity.

Moments D88: Slobber

First of all, I had a hard time with my title today. I started with “wet balls”….then it was “slimy balls” but in the end, I had to keep it out of the gutter (maybe it was just me?) with simply slobber.

So, today was the first day of our weekend baseball tournament. Today was a lot of fun with many magical and funny and new moments. For example, I met a lot of new great people….I managed a few fun plays (including a fantastic hit that brought in two winning runs!) and I even played some pool and volleyball during the day. BUT it wasn’t about the baseball, nor my team mates that made today so special (and that was a pretty tough bar to get beyond!).

Today’s best moment was a slobbery ball. Yes. It’s when I stopped (paused if you will) from the days activities and banter and really took note of things.

It was after our third and final game of the day. Our team was packing up while another team was warming up on the field. As I was walking back to the parking lot a foul ball popped over the fence and near the stands where a very large german shepherd was trotting about. For a german shepherd, he was quite huge - he stood nearly as tall as my hips. He quickly engulfed the softball with his mouth without any effort at all.

I was closest to the pooch at the time. I love dogs. I’m not afraid of dogs, but this beast…whoa. I carefully approached him and cajoled him into coming towards me and to give me the ball. He was more than happy to drop the ball, but I could tell he was hoping I would toss it for him! As I picked up the very wet, slobbery ball, he watched me intensely. I threw the ball back over the fence and watched as he slumped down to his haunches.

I took another moment or two to console the poor disappointed gent.

It was a moment of connection.

A moment of sharing.

A moment to pause and appreciate, yes even, a slobbery ball.

(And yes - please do have a laugh at me trying to find a decent PC version of a title for this moment!)