Today I had an amazing lunch with a team mate of mine. Chica has inspired me many times over the 1.5 years that I've know her. She is simply a breath of fresh, joyful, bright air. She's also 12 years younger than I am, and yet, in many ways, her life experience has made her much more self-aware and grounded than I. Chica is simply a spitfire personality; a ball of energy. Today's lunch was just another moment with her that left me a little awestruck with the depth that she offers outside of her boisterous ways.
As a total sidebar that ties back in: Chica, strangely, she reminds me of a younger, wilder me. I was never as wild as she, but her energy and "joie de vivre" vibrates on a level that I sometimes forget lives within me. When she and I catch up, it's like slipping on an old set of boots that fit you perfectly from years of wear. Feeling her energy reminds me of a historical me.
Today's catch over lunch was an incredible moment and one that I won't soon forget. Why? Well, Chica reminded me of the bigger picture in life. It looks a bit like this:
First of all, there were screams. (Yes. Full on screams.)
Then a big deep genuine hug.
That was soon followed by a request for all the details.
Then there were tears. Tears of genuine joy.
(insert lunch and other topics here)
Followed by intermittent yelps of glee. Yes - The. Entire. Lunch. Filled with intermittent yelps.
It was, simply, awesome. It filled my heart with joy.
As we dug a little deeper into our catching up, Chica had some very mature, grounded advice: "Fuck being sad, life is too short."
It was a light bulb moment, bringing me back to something Heini has shared with me. Like pieces clicking into place, my choice became clearer.
Why? Because I know (and truly believe) that life is too short to be sad. It's why I left a content, unfulfilling marriage. It's why I work hard to make my team more efficient. It's why I dig deep and communicate (a key to deep relationships). Bottom line, this notion is very deep within me. It's why I love to live every moment. Chica captured that concisely with "Fuck being sad."
It had me thinking.
Bottom line, we all have choices. They may be limited. They may be shitty, but there is always a choice.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not all sparkles, rainbows and a bowl full of cherries. I know that sparkles get lost in the darkness and the rainbows only come after the rain. I also know that there are pits in the bowl of cherries but that won't stop me from eating them. My point? I can (and have) been swallowed into the darkness from time to time. It happens. We all find ourselves there. But sometimes, the wallowing in self-pity gets out of control and (even though the words sound harsh) as Heini gently and lovingly says, "...get over yourself." It may sound harsh, but it's true. What's the point in wallowing. Life is too short. Choices can be made to find the light: Find the tools. Build the skills. Lean on your support system.
And so, today, I'm going to stop wallowing and worrying as much as I have been. I have too much going on in my own swirling life to further burden myself with the self-pity and sadness I've been carrying with me. Bottom line: I know change is difficult and scary and can tear relationships apart, but it can also build them stronger. Perspective and digging deeper.
Today's moment was this light bulb moment with Chica over lunch which inspired a commitment to myself to move beyond the sadness that has clouded me for the past (near) week. I have too much to be thankful for and to celebrate. I have conquered some of my daemons in the past year. I have found love, and revealed depth in friendships around me. Acquaintances have surprised me and family has endlessly supported and loved me for all of me. Each remind me that my happiness is important. That I am important to them. That I am loved by them and I can safely share my light, my love and my dreams with them without guilt or judgement.
Today, Chica reminded me to dig deeper within and be more true to myself when I find sadness creeping in. I may not be able to communicate well enough to change how people interact with me, but I can certainly change how I accept and interact with others. We all have our own path to follow, and sometimes it is a dark path that lay ahead. It's simply a path I refuse to walk with so much promise and love surrounding me. It is time for me to follow the bright, sparkly, rainbow covered path for my darkness has lifted and the storms have passed.
I know that those who really love me and support me, know that I'm girl who loves to yelp and scream and enjoy life large. Not unlike my younger wilder team mate Chica.
So, my thanks to Chica for her bluntness. I needed that slap in the face today. She's right: Fuck being sad, life is too short.
Moments reflecting over one's path.
Moments realizing that a choice must be made to dance in the light.
Showing posts with label storm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label storm. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Moments D496: Storm clouds rolling in
Today has been a fun day watching EQ in his element. Meanwhile I spent most of the day soaking in the sun .
But the moment I want to share with you today is when I was all alone watching the storm clouds roll in. It was a beautiful quiet, introspective moment. As the pretty white fluffy clouds moved out, the dark rain heavy clouds moved in.
It took about 30 minutes for the sky to darken completely. And then she unleashed. It poured!
As others ran for cover, I made my way to a chair under an extended roof. It didn't save me from the wind rain when it picked up, but at least I could sit outside and enjoy the sound of the storm hitting us. The eaves troughs were overflowing, the kids at the drop zone were out splashing and playing in the rain. I was jealous! Had I had dry clothes with me, I would have joined them in playing in the deluge.
And when my love finally found me, we watched the end of the storm arm in arm. As fast as it rolled in, the storm moved out and the skies cleared. Perfect for one more jump of the day at sunset. And what a beautiful sunset it was with the lightning filled storm clouds in the distance.
Moments enjoying a storm rolling in and out.
Moments enjoying the sunsetting.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Moments D441: It's Pouring, it's pouring....
According to my weather station we had 100+mm of rain fell between 4:45 pm and 6 pm. That's a LOT of rain. Typically in the month of July we see an average of 74 mm or so. That's a WHOLE month of rain! The one-day record rainfall of 29.2 mm was blown out of the water by today's storm. Incredible.
(read more here and see some photos here and a cool video here)
Not only did I enjoy watching today's storm hit, I had fun splashing in the puddles on my way to the car after work. But the best moment of this storm was when I was all cozy eating dinner and I get a near panicked text from my aunt.
And then she filled me in. Oh my. I had no idea. What a crazy deluge! Incredible. Powerful. It will be curious to see what the next couple of days bring to clean it all up. I'm sure many homes were flooded in the lower areas of the city (likely my old home too come to think of it). While I'm grateful to be on the 2nd floor, my heart goes out to those dealing with flooded homes. I've been there, done that. It's not fun.
In all the years I've lived in Southern Ontario, I've never heard of such a storm or such widespread flooding. Mother Earth....are you angry with us?
Moments enjoying a rain storm.
Moments realizing that the storm turned the city inside out.
(read more here and see some photos here and a cool video here)
Not only did I enjoy watching today's storm hit, I had fun splashing in the puddles on my way to the car after work. But the best moment of this storm was when I was all cozy eating dinner and I get a near panicked text from my aunt.
"Hey, what the hell is going on there? You okay?""Um. Ya. I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"
And then she filled me in. Oh my. I had no idea. What a crazy deluge! Incredible. Powerful. It will be curious to see what the next couple of days bring to clean it all up. I'm sure many homes were flooded in the lower areas of the city (likely my old home too come to think of it). While I'm grateful to be on the 2nd floor, my heart goes out to those dealing with flooded homes. I've been there, done that. It's not fun.
In all the years I've lived in Southern Ontario, I've never heard of such a storm or such widespread flooding. Mother Earth....are you angry with us?
Moments enjoying a rain storm.
Moments realizing that the storm turned the city inside out.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Moments D405: Summer Storms
Today I was home prepping for my very long week and coming weekend. With an assignment due for class, extra long work days all this week and my mid-term all happening in the next 10 days, my plate is very full.
As I puttered and dealt with my chores, the weather was as fickle as my mood. First thing this morning, it was sunny, bright and humid. By the time I was home from picking up groceries, the sky was darkening. Before I knew it, the sky had opened up and there was a heavy downpour. Within moments, they sky was clear yet again, the sun out and drying up the puddles.
An hour or so later, it happened all over again. This time, the tennis courts across the street from me were filled with players. Instead of running from the downpour, each of the four courts of players simply kept on playing! I was shocked, but I smiled knowing that I’d likely do the same if I were on the court. They laughed, they giggled, one even hooted into the rain. What fun it was to watch and a great way to break up my day.
Strangely enough, this happened two more times today. What a strange fickle day of weather, but it was entertaining. It almost made up for being stuck inside all day working.
Moments puttering and prepping.
Moments enjoying the weather.
As I puttered and dealt with my chores, the weather was as fickle as my mood. First thing this morning, it was sunny, bright and humid. By the time I was home from picking up groceries, the sky was darkening. Before I knew it, the sky had opened up and there was a heavy downpour. Within moments, they sky was clear yet again, the sun out and drying up the puddles.
An hour or so later, it happened all over again. This time, the tennis courts across the street from me were filled with players. Instead of running from the downpour, each of the four courts of players simply kept on playing! I was shocked, but I smiled knowing that I’d likely do the same if I were on the court. They laughed, they giggled, one even hooted into the rain. What fun it was to watch and a great way to break up my day.
Strangely enough, this happened two more times today. What a strange fickle day of weather, but it was entertaining. It almost made up for being stuck inside all day working.
Moments puttering and prepping.
Moments enjoying the weather.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Moments D352: April Snow Storms bring May.....Flowers?
Today we had a snow storm. Yes - that’s right. A real snow storm. About 2 inches of snow.
Me, being me, I stopped and enjoyed as much of it as possible during the day. It was a soft pretty snowfall. It wasn’t cold like the deep of winter, but obviously cold enough to turn the spring rain into snow.
I know lots of people were complaining about the snow in April. But not me. I know it won’t last long. I’m okay with another couple of days of snow. Before you know it summer will be here and people will be complaining about it being too hot!
Me, being me, I stopped and enjoyed as much of it as possible during the day. It was a soft pretty snowfall. It wasn’t cold like the deep of winter, but obviously cold enough to turn the spring rain into snow.
I know lots of people were complaining about the snow in April. But not me. I know it won’t last long. I’m okay with another couple of days of snow. Before you know it summer will be here and people will be complaining about it being too hot!
Monday, October 29, 2012
Moments D187: Let there be light!
Okay. I know that sounds pretty grandiose, but let me tell you the story and then you see if it doesn’t perfectly fit!
Today is the day that Hurricane Sandy hits the Eastern seaboard. NYC felt her wrath earlier today. This evening Toronto is feeling it too. Winds are high, the rain is pelting sideways and in large gobs at times.
When I drove onto my street post-volleyball, it was obvious that the electricity was out. My street was blacker than black. (But I was fortunate for parking out front….thank you parking fairies!)
I strategically collected my bags and made sure I had my key in hand before dashing to the front door in the pelting rain. No fumbling and in the door in thirty seconds. Brilliant. In the pitch black.
But, this really isn’t a problem for me (other than studying this evening without my laptop). Why? I play this game with myself sometimes. I love to walk around in the dark and make my way around the furniture and just FEEL a room. I’ve done it since I can remember. This is just another opportunity for me to play this game with myself.
But, as I turn to lock the door behind me the lights magically turn on. There’s no getting away from my study night it seems.
Best smile of the day by far. YES! LET THERE BE LIGHT! (Don’t you agree?)
Moments that make me wonder.
Moments to get back to work!
Today is the day that Hurricane Sandy hits the Eastern seaboard. NYC felt her wrath earlier today. This evening Toronto is feeling it too. Winds are high, the rain is pelting sideways and in large gobs at times.
When I drove onto my street post-volleyball, it was obvious that the electricity was out. My street was blacker than black. (But I was fortunate for parking out front….thank you parking fairies!)
I strategically collected my bags and made sure I had my key in hand before dashing to the front door in the pelting rain. No fumbling and in the door in thirty seconds. Brilliant. In the pitch black.
But, this really isn’t a problem for me (other than studying this evening without my laptop). Why? I play this game with myself sometimes. I love to walk around in the dark and make my way around the furniture and just FEEL a room. I’ve done it since I can remember. This is just another opportunity for me to play this game with myself.
But, as I turn to lock the door behind me the lights magically turn on. There’s no getting away from my study night it seems.
Best smile of the day by far. YES! LET THERE BE LIGHT! (Don’t you agree?)
Moments that make me wonder.
Moments to get back to work!
Monday, August 27, 2012
Moments D125: Rain Storms
Today was the playoffs for my competitive co-ed 4’s beach volleyball team. We did well (finished 2nd), but better yet we played well and had a lot of fun doing it. But, while those two hours on the beach were filled with smiles and moments to share, the one that stands out most was watching the rain storm roll in.
The storm clouds started filling in the evening sky around 7:45-8pm. We were in the middle of our championship set of 3 games when the organizers broadcast that we needed to shorten the final game in the set to only 15 points due to the storm coming in.
While playing my favourite sport, on a beach (also a place I love, the sand, the water, the breeze), I watched a fascinating storm brew in front of me. Within minutes the bright dusk sky turned dark. The lightening was quick and hard to see as it danced amoungst the clouds and only rarely broke to hit the ground below.
We finished (lost) our game shortly after 8pm. By the time the nets and lines were wrapped up and handed in, the clouds began to break under the weight of their wares. It was a slow release, just a misty sprinkle at first. I quickly walked to my parked car, which was about 8 minutes away. If it were 10 minutes away, I would have been drenched!
I got into my car, turned it on and did a U-Turn. By the time I was straightened out, the clouds gave up their fight and the heavens opened up. This was no simple rain storm. It was as though someone had tipped the bucket and the bucket had no end. (My fastest setting for my wipers was not fast enough!)
It was that moment. That moment where I smiled the hardest today. I was happy with the activities of the evening, but happier still that I had just missed the torrential downpour of rain by a mere moment. Sometimes, I am that lucky!
Moments to watch rain storms.
Moments of luck.
The storm clouds started filling in the evening sky around 7:45-8pm. We were in the middle of our championship set of 3 games when the organizers broadcast that we needed to shorten the final game in the set to only 15 points due to the storm coming in.
While playing my favourite sport, on a beach (also a place I love, the sand, the water, the breeze), I watched a fascinating storm brew in front of me. Within minutes the bright dusk sky turned dark. The lightening was quick and hard to see as it danced amoungst the clouds and only rarely broke to hit the ground below.
We finished (lost) our game shortly after 8pm. By the time the nets and lines were wrapped up and handed in, the clouds began to break under the weight of their wares. It was a slow release, just a misty sprinkle at first. I quickly walked to my parked car, which was about 8 minutes away. If it were 10 minutes away, I would have been drenched!
I got into my car, turned it on and did a U-Turn. By the time I was straightened out, the clouds gave up their fight and the heavens opened up. This was no simple rain storm. It was as though someone had tipped the bucket and the bucket had no end. (My fastest setting for my wipers was not fast enough!)
It was that moment. That moment where I smiled the hardest today. I was happy with the activities of the evening, but happier still that I had just missed the torrential downpour of rain by a mere moment. Sometimes, I am that lucky!
Moments to watch rain storms.
Moments of luck.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Moments D108: Dry Lightening
Today was a very special day as it was one of my besties’ birthday. It’s not really significant that it was a milestone birthday (at least not for me), but it was incredibly meaningful for me to have spent her birthday evening with her.
It was just the two of us. We shared a bottle of wine and good conversation before dinner. We puttered about and prepared for the following day’s BBQ party. We shared another bottle of wine. We shared a bourbon (ah, Bulleit!) and we watched a lightening storm.
There was no rain. There was no thunder (audible to our ears). It was dry, dark and striking. The sky flickered. It taunted. Was the storm coming or going? The sky flashed, definitely coming….then it calmed….definitely going. Then it twinkled, the kind of lightening that dances in the clouds but never leaves them to touch the ground. It was a delightful show. We watched, at times, in complete silence just absorbing the view and energy in the air.
It was such a peaceful, beautiful moment to share with my best friend on her very special day. I feel fortunate to have been a part of that moment.
Moments with friends.
Moments in nature.
It was just the two of us. We shared a bottle of wine and good conversation before dinner. We puttered about and prepared for the following day’s BBQ party. We shared another bottle of wine. We shared a bourbon (ah, Bulleit!) and we watched a lightening storm.
There was no rain. There was no thunder (audible to our ears). It was dry, dark and striking. The sky flickered. It taunted. Was the storm coming or going? The sky flashed, definitely coming….then it calmed….definitely going. Then it twinkled, the kind of lightening that dances in the clouds but never leaves them to touch the ground. It was a delightful show. We watched, at times, in complete silence just absorbing the view and energy in the air.
It was such a peaceful, beautiful moment to share with my best friend on her very special day. I feel fortunate to have been a part of that moment.
Moments with friends.
Moments in nature.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Moments D93: Mom's Wish
Today it was calling for major thunderstorms to start early in the evening to last throughout the evening. Now, as much as I love storms, I had a baseball game at 6:45pm. My dear Mom knew this and about 5:30pm yesterday, just before I was to head out from work she sent me an instant message that simply said: ”No rain tonight”. We had a brief exchange and I was on my way to the field.
Amazingly the ominous storm clouds held their bounty. We played our full game and then the team went back to the sponsoring bar for food, drinks and great conversation. We sat on the patio. Again, the clouds held off their release. We were then charmed by a duet of live music. It wasn’t long before most of the team was singing alone.
So thanks Mom for whispering the words to the universe for me - for us. It was a great night of baseball, friends & fun.
Moments from Mom.
Amazingly the ominous storm clouds held their bounty. We played our full game and then the team went back to the sponsoring bar for food, drinks and great conversation. We sat on the patio. Again, the clouds held off their release. We were then charmed by a duet of live music. It wasn’t long before most of the team was singing alone.
So thanks Mom for whispering the words to the universe for me - for us. It was a great night of baseball, friends & fun.
Moments from Mom.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Moments D90: Crescent Moon Lightening
This evening the skies filled with dark rain filled clouds. The sun broke through them for most of the evening allowing my volleyball team to play on the beach for 2 hours.
The clouds and sun fought for the entire time. Moments it was dark and foreboding. Moments the rays of sun were brilliant and breaking through the darkness. Moments the sun was highlighting some of the most beautiful clouds I’ve seen in some time.
This is what it looked like as I was leaving the beach this evening:
But today’s moment wasn’t this conglomeration of moments watching the clouds and sun battle it out for presence in the sky during my time on the beach.
The best moment was driving home after picking up dinner. It was just before 10pm. The sky was a gorgeous twilight blue. (This is my favourite colour of sky, that blue that is indigo, with a hint of purple and lit from within.) There was this perfect crescent moon in the Western sky. The sky to the West was perfectly clear. Not a cloud to be seen. Just to the South of the crescent moon was a big billowing white cloud. Within this pretty puffy cloud was a dance of lightening. It was frantic. It filled the cloud. It was the perfect combination of calm (the naked crescent moon) and chaos (the frantic lightening within the cloud) being displayed side-by-side.
It was a moment that made me pause.
It was a moment that made me consider those close to me that fear the storms I love so dearly to watch. I hope that one day, we can sit and enjoy a storm together. Without pain and fear filling the atmosphere. A day where only awe and joy exist for this fascinating dance of nature.
A small moment, but so much deeper beneath the surface. Ah yes, always digging deeper.
The clouds and sun fought for the entire time. Moments it was dark and foreboding. Moments the rays of sun were brilliant and breaking through the darkness. Moments the sun was highlighting some of the most beautiful clouds I’ve seen in some time.
This is what it looked like as I was leaving the beach this evening:
But today’s moment wasn’t this conglomeration of moments watching the clouds and sun battle it out for presence in the sky during my time on the beach.
The best moment was driving home after picking up dinner. It was just before 10pm. The sky was a gorgeous twilight blue. (This is my favourite colour of sky, that blue that is indigo, with a hint of purple and lit from within.) There was this perfect crescent moon in the Western sky. The sky to the West was perfectly clear. Not a cloud to be seen. Just to the South of the crescent moon was a big billowing white cloud. Within this pretty puffy cloud was a dance of lightening. It was frantic. It filled the cloud. It was the perfect combination of calm (the naked crescent moon) and chaos (the frantic lightening within the cloud) being displayed side-by-side.
It was a moment that made me pause.
It was a moment that made me consider those close to me that fear the storms I love so dearly to watch. I hope that one day, we can sit and enjoy a storm together. Without pain and fear filling the atmosphere. A day where only awe and joy exist for this fascinating dance of nature.
A small moment, but so much deeper beneath the surface. Ah yes, always digging deeper.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Moments - D9 - Storms
I love to sit and listen with my eyes closed. I like how the music of rain drops tickles my ears and how the flashes of light can be seen beyond my closed eyes. My senses seem to be heightened....I am lost in the storm's sights and sounds.
Oh how I love a good rain storm.
Moments where you close your eyes and just live in the moment.
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