I've shed quite a few tears in the last week. Quite a few (too many actually) have been tears of loss and disbelief. Others (thankfully) have been tears of joy. Today, I celebrated the latter.
Today, there were tears of joy. They were not my own.
A long overdue lunch date found a swirl of emotional stories being shared. At a couple of key moments in our lunch, I found myself celebrating more tears of joy. Incredible!
As I shared my news, I watched as eyes began to glisten. I dug in a little deeper, and answered questions along the way. As I continued to share my love story the tears threatened to spill. And, with a big goofy grin on my face, I pressed on with my story, watching as the tears silently began to overflow their wells.
And in that moment we both celebrate the tears of joy. With smiles and laughter we paused to hug in the middle of the busy restaurant; and then we dipped back into the rest of our lunch.
Sometimes tears can be a release of frustration.
Sometimes they can be a venting of sorrow.
Sometimes they come from fear.
Sometimes they are built from anger.
But when they appear because of love and joy, it is a most beautiful thing to watch.
Today, I celebrate the tears of joy.
Moments enjoying the depth of meaning behind a tear.
Moments understanding, more deeply, the profoundity of tears of joy.
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Friday, October 18, 2013
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Moments D541: Fuck being sad
Today I had an amazing lunch with a team mate of mine. Chica has inspired me many times over the 1.5 years that I've know her. She is simply a breath of fresh, joyful, bright air. She's also 12 years younger than I am, and yet, in many ways, her life experience has made her much more self-aware and grounded than I. Chica is simply a spitfire personality; a ball of energy. Today's lunch was just another moment with her that left me a little awestruck with the depth that she offers outside of her boisterous ways.
As a total sidebar that ties back in: Chica, strangely, she reminds me of a younger, wilder me. I was never as wild as she, but her energy and "joie de vivre" vibrates on a level that I sometimes forget lives within me. When she and I catch up, it's like slipping on an old set of boots that fit you perfectly from years of wear. Feeling her energy reminds me of a historical me.
Today's catch over lunch was an incredible moment and one that I won't soon forget. Why? Well, Chica reminded me of the bigger picture in life. It looks a bit like this:
First of all, there were screams. (Yes. Full on screams.)
Then a big deep genuine hug.
That was soon followed by a request for all the details.
Then there were tears. Tears of genuine joy.
(insert lunch and other topics here)
Followed by intermittent yelps of glee. Yes - The. Entire. Lunch. Filled with intermittent yelps.
It was, simply, awesome. It filled my heart with joy.
As we dug a little deeper into our catching up, Chica had some very mature, grounded advice: "Fuck being sad, life is too short."
It was a light bulb moment, bringing me back to something Heini has shared with me. Like pieces clicking into place, my choice became clearer.
Why? Because I know (and truly believe) that life is too short to be sad. It's why I left a content, unfulfilling marriage. It's why I work hard to make my team more efficient. It's why I dig deep and communicate (a key to deep relationships). Bottom line, this notion is very deep within me. It's why I love to live every moment. Chica captured that concisely with "Fuck being sad."
It had me thinking.
Bottom line, we all have choices. They may be limited. They may be shitty, but there is always a choice.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not all sparkles, rainbows and a bowl full of cherries. I know that sparkles get lost in the darkness and the rainbows only come after the rain. I also know that there are pits in the bowl of cherries but that won't stop me from eating them. My point? I can (and have) been swallowed into the darkness from time to time. It happens. We all find ourselves there. But sometimes, the wallowing in self-pity gets out of control and (even though the words sound harsh) as Heini gently and lovingly says, "...get over yourself." It may sound harsh, but it's true. What's the point in wallowing. Life is too short. Choices can be made to find the light: Find the tools. Build the skills. Lean on your support system.
And so, today, I'm going to stop wallowing and worrying as much as I have been. I have too much going on in my own swirling life to further burden myself with the self-pity and sadness I've been carrying with me. Bottom line: I know change is difficult and scary and can tear relationships apart, but it can also build them stronger. Perspective and digging deeper.
Today's moment was this light bulb moment with Chica over lunch which inspired a commitment to myself to move beyond the sadness that has clouded me for the past (near) week. I have too much to be thankful for and to celebrate. I have conquered some of my daemons in the past year. I have found love, and revealed depth in friendships around me. Acquaintances have surprised me and family has endlessly supported and loved me for all of me. Each remind me that my happiness is important. That I am important to them. That I am loved by them and I can safely share my light, my love and my dreams with them without guilt or judgement.
Today, Chica reminded me to dig deeper within and be more true to myself when I find sadness creeping in. I may not be able to communicate well enough to change how people interact with me, but I can certainly change how I accept and interact with others. We all have our own path to follow, and sometimes it is a dark path that lay ahead. It's simply a path I refuse to walk with so much promise and love surrounding me. It is time for me to follow the bright, sparkly, rainbow covered path for my darkness has lifted and the storms have passed.
I know that those who really love me and support me, know that I'm girl who loves to yelp and scream and enjoy life large. Not unlike my younger wilder team mate Chica.
So, my thanks to Chica for her bluntness. I needed that slap in the face today. She's right: Fuck being sad, life is too short.
Moments reflecting over one's path.
Moments realizing that a choice must be made to dance in the light.
As a total sidebar that ties back in: Chica, strangely, she reminds me of a younger, wilder me. I was never as wild as she, but her energy and "joie de vivre" vibrates on a level that I sometimes forget lives within me. When she and I catch up, it's like slipping on an old set of boots that fit you perfectly from years of wear. Feeling her energy reminds me of a historical me.
Today's catch over lunch was an incredible moment and one that I won't soon forget. Why? Well, Chica reminded me of the bigger picture in life. It looks a bit like this:
First of all, there were screams. (Yes. Full on screams.)
Then a big deep genuine hug.
That was soon followed by a request for all the details.
Then there were tears. Tears of genuine joy.
(insert lunch and other topics here)
Followed by intermittent yelps of glee. Yes - The. Entire. Lunch. Filled with intermittent yelps.
It was, simply, awesome. It filled my heart with joy.
As we dug a little deeper into our catching up, Chica had some very mature, grounded advice: "Fuck being sad, life is too short."
It was a light bulb moment, bringing me back to something Heini has shared with me. Like pieces clicking into place, my choice became clearer.
Why? Because I know (and truly believe) that life is too short to be sad. It's why I left a content, unfulfilling marriage. It's why I work hard to make my team more efficient. It's why I dig deep and communicate (a key to deep relationships). Bottom line, this notion is very deep within me. It's why I love to live every moment. Chica captured that concisely with "Fuck being sad."
It had me thinking.
Bottom line, we all have choices. They may be limited. They may be shitty, but there is always a choice.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not all sparkles, rainbows and a bowl full of cherries. I know that sparkles get lost in the darkness and the rainbows only come after the rain. I also know that there are pits in the bowl of cherries but that won't stop me from eating them. My point? I can (and have) been swallowed into the darkness from time to time. It happens. We all find ourselves there. But sometimes, the wallowing in self-pity gets out of control and (even though the words sound harsh) as Heini gently and lovingly says, "...get over yourself." It may sound harsh, but it's true. What's the point in wallowing. Life is too short. Choices can be made to find the light: Find the tools. Build the skills. Lean on your support system.
And so, today, I'm going to stop wallowing and worrying as much as I have been. I have too much going on in my own swirling life to further burden myself with the self-pity and sadness I've been carrying with me. Bottom line: I know change is difficult and scary and can tear relationships apart, but it can also build them stronger. Perspective and digging deeper.
Today's moment was this light bulb moment with Chica over lunch which inspired a commitment to myself to move beyond the sadness that has clouded me for the past (near) week. I have too much to be thankful for and to celebrate. I have conquered some of my daemons in the past year. I have found love, and revealed depth in friendships around me. Acquaintances have surprised me and family has endlessly supported and loved me for all of me. Each remind me that my happiness is important. That I am important to them. That I am loved by them and I can safely share my light, my love and my dreams with them without guilt or judgement.
Today, Chica reminded me to dig deeper within and be more true to myself when I find sadness creeping in. I may not be able to communicate well enough to change how people interact with me, but I can certainly change how I accept and interact with others. We all have our own path to follow, and sometimes it is a dark path that lay ahead. It's simply a path I refuse to walk with so much promise and love surrounding me. It is time for me to follow the bright, sparkly, rainbow covered path for my darkness has lifted and the storms have passed.
I know that those who really love me and support me, know that I'm girl who loves to yelp and scream and enjoy life large. Not unlike my younger wilder team mate Chica.
So, my thanks to Chica for her bluntness. I needed that slap in the face today. She's right: Fuck being sad, life is too short.
Moments reflecting over one's path.
Moments realizing that a choice must be made to dance in the light.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Moments D415: Inspiration, Love and Joy
Today was an intense day. It was a day that started with a simple, yet highly inspirational, email from a dear friend on his way into town this coming weekend. It was followed by an intense day of work, then a mid-term for school (which I think was successful!) and then a meeting for my new business adventure. I drove out to meet the founder and another of his core team members for a 9:30pm meeting! What an inspiring meeting that was, my brain is on fire, even though I’m tired from the rest of my day (well week really!). This business adventure is, if nothing else, going to be an experience for me that will most certainly expand my tool kit. This excites me! As I started my drive home, I thought this was surely my moment to share today, but it was trumped. (And yet I snuck it in!)
The moment that brought me the biggest moment of my day was the phone call on my 30 minute drive home. I called my girl from the North (I am officially going to dub her HAWK, as I believe this is one of her totems. I’m sure she will correct me if I’m wrong, but after reading this summary of HAWK as totem, I think it fits her well.)
Hawk was entertaining guests. I knew she had guests. I expected a short and sweet call. What I didn’t expect was the outpouring of love. From her and from her “boy-next-door” friend. Although short and sweet, the moment filled me with love and joy for my best friend. I was delighted to hear her so happy and so giddy. (She too had a rough week last week!) And, even 230km away, I felt I was right there with her.
Amazing really.
Moments of inspiration, of love and of joy. All in one day. I AM FORTUNATE!
And now that my exam is over, I can think beyond today. The weekend is coming. I have a friend coming in from out of town. I’m further inspired, filled with love and joy for those moments to come. I am ready to learn how to fly.
Moments to be inspired.
Moments being filled with love and joy.
The moment that brought me the biggest moment of my day was the phone call on my 30 minute drive home. I called my girl from the North (I am officially going to dub her HAWK, as I believe this is one of her totems. I’m sure she will correct me if I’m wrong, but after reading this summary of HAWK as totem, I think it fits her well.)
Hawk was entertaining guests. I knew she had guests. I expected a short and sweet call. What I didn’t expect was the outpouring of love. From her and from her “boy-next-door” friend. Although short and sweet, the moment filled me with love and joy for my best friend. I was delighted to hear her so happy and so giddy. (She too had a rough week last week!) And, even 230km away, I felt I was right there with her.
Amazing really.
Moments of inspiration, of love and of joy. All in one day. I AM FORTUNATE!
And now that my exam is over, I can think beyond today. The weekend is coming. I have a friend coming in from out of town. I’m further inspired, filled with love and joy for those moments to come. I am ready to learn how to fly.
Moments to be inspired.
Moments being filled with love and joy.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Moments D71; SURPRISE!
I love surprises. I really love surprises. Any kind of surprise really. Big, small, silly. A note in the mail from a friend, flowers dropped off, even some of the crazy gifts that my real estate agent likes to leave for me.
But - I’m not easy to surprise. It takes some effort. But when it happens….when that magical moment happens when I am truly surprised, there is such joy and happiness flowing through me. Yes….I love surprises.
Today I was surprised in one of the best ways. Let me tell you the story.
I haven’t seen two of my dearest friends (a couple - D&N) in months. It’s not because I don’t want to, but I’ve been incredibly busy with my upturned life and I know they have been too. Yesterday I was off for an extra long weekend. I decided to give one of them (N) a call as I knew he would be home setting up his new consulting business. I thought maybe, if I was lucky, we could do lunch.
Sadly, (N) already had plans.
Instead, we planned on connecting for lunch today. I was more than happy to take my hour lunch (for the first time in weeks!) to catch up with my dear friend.
When (N) arrived at 1pm, I was called by reception to meet him there. I left my office, excited but unaware of the surprise that was waiting for me. As the doors to the retail store opened I saw not only one of my dear friends, but BOTH of them. (D&N), two of my dearest friends were standing there with big ‘ol smiles on their faces. I let out a squeal and yelled from the doorway (sorry to any of our patrons!) about how surprised and happy I was to see (D)….I went running right to (D) to give him a huge hug….and then back to (N) to give him his hug. Oh my. That was a lovely surprise!
Of course lunch was awesome too. It is always a pleasure to catch up with my friends. But today, I celebrate the element of surprise and the joy it brings.
Moments of surprise & joy.
But - I’m not easy to surprise. It takes some effort. But when it happens….when that magical moment happens when I am truly surprised, there is such joy and happiness flowing through me. Yes….I love surprises.
Today I was surprised in one of the best ways. Let me tell you the story.
I haven’t seen two of my dearest friends (a couple - D&N) in months. It’s not because I don’t want to, but I’ve been incredibly busy with my upturned life and I know they have been too. Yesterday I was off for an extra long weekend. I decided to give one of them (N) a call as I knew he would be home setting up his new consulting business. I thought maybe, if I was lucky, we could do lunch.
Sadly, (N) already had plans.
Instead, we planned on connecting for lunch today. I was more than happy to take my hour lunch (for the first time in weeks!) to catch up with my dear friend.
When (N) arrived at 1pm, I was called by reception to meet him there. I left my office, excited but unaware of the surprise that was waiting for me. As the doors to the retail store opened I saw not only one of my dear friends, but BOTH of them. (D&N), two of my dearest friends were standing there with big ‘ol smiles on their faces. I let out a squeal and yelled from the doorway (sorry to any of our patrons!) about how surprised and happy I was to see (D)….I went running right to (D) to give him a huge hug….and then back to (N) to give him his hug. Oh my. That was a lovely surprise!
Of course lunch was awesome too. It is always a pleasure to catch up with my friends. But today, I celebrate the element of surprise and the joy it brings.
Moments of surprise & joy.
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