Moments D439: Ever Digging

These past few weeks have been life changing for me.  I have been digging ever deeper into the shadows of my heart and soul.  Years of accumulated pains and neglect found me with very stubborn daemons.  In the past month, I've started to feel them lift from me.  It's a glorious feeling, but the steps along the way are not always easy.

Today's moment is about one of those raw emotional moments.  As painful as it was, it was cathartic.  Twice.  The same subject at two slightly different angles.  Digging deep today meant getting into the nitty-gritty and then going a little deeper.  It meant I had to push through the fear and  shove the embarrassment aside.  I wasn't sure, either time if I'd have the courage.

In these moments, when you do dig as deep as this was, you need to believe that those you share with will stand strong and hold you tight and not judge.

Today, I was fortunate enough to have two of those moments.  The first was happened this afternoon.  I went deep this afternoon.  Very deep.  Coerced a little, but I understood that it was time to look at the reflection in the mirror.  As hail suddenly dropped from the sky and interrupted the intense conversation, I wept as the emotions flooded over me, but my tears were (fortunately!) lost in the moment.  Then the hail turned into gobs of rain and laughter and silliness ensued.  My tears dried and I was, once again, listening in wonder to the depth of support that I had in front of me.

I have been on a soul journey these past two (or so) years.  Digging ever deeper.  Exploring.  Sometimes the reflection in the mirror is not so kind to look at.  But with every step forward, that has begun to change.  To really, deeply change.  Today, I felt it.  Today, I believed it.  That's a first.

The second moment (of this very same nature) came much later in the evening.  I recounted the days events to Heini.   I shared my deepest darkest feelings and before I knew it, she shed tears for me and the journey I had taken over the past 5-7 years.  And then, we celebrated just how far I've come and the promise of hope that was on my doorstep.  No more self-made obstacles.  Life is for living.  Life is for digging ever deeper, because this soul won't have it any other way.

Moments for cathartic sharing.  Worlds lifted from your shoulders.

Moments believing.  Truly believing, in the path ahead.

Moments D255: Kindred Spirits

Today I spent the day with my best friend. We woke up late (I later than her...and later than I have in many, many moons. I guess I needed a sleep in!) and then we lounged around with our nachos for brunch. Yes. That's right. We each had our own plate of nachos for brunch. We sat, cross legged, facing each other on the couch as we ate our nachos.

It was in that moment that I felt my kindred spirit was sitting in front of me. We haven't seen each other in 6 months and yet, it's like we hadn't missed a step in time. We talk often, but it's not the same as sitting across from each other. And in that special moment we shared laughter, we shared tears and we shared the beauty of a fresh snowfall.

Later that day we shared a the company of a new friend and I could tell that he is a kindred spirit to my friend. I enjoyed watching the exchange of words and energy. And later just the two of us celebrated a Belated Christmas dinner. (Cranberry sauce and all).

It was a day filled with love and light washing away the darkness of difficult stories shared. A day of new hope. A day of reflection. A day with a kindred spirit.

Moments of understanding the importance of the person sitting in front of you.

Moments with deeper meaning.

Moments D216: Random Calls of Kindness

Today I received a call that brought a smile to my face. It was from a co-worker who knows about my upcoming vacation. She’s a beautiful soul and one that I rarely have an opportunity to cross paths with. But when I do she brings such light and love into a conversation. She’s just one of those kind, deep souls.

And she called to say “I hope you have a great time.”

A simple message. A simple act of kindness.

And yet, it’s a great big warm fuzzy. A huge gesture for her to reach out randomly and let me know she’s thinking of me and my vacation.

So sweet. I was so touched.

Moments to smile and appreciate those around you.

Moments of random kindness.

Moments D110: Lazy Laughter, Deep Conversation

Today I slept in as I haven’t in a very long time, but I suppose that could be because I didn’t crawl into bed until 6am! I guess it’s all relative, isn’t it? I still only had 5.5 hours of sleep!

The afternoon filled in with lazy laughs with my friends (new & old) as we commiserated over the headaches, the dishes and the bottles. As the day wore on and the group thinned out it was just my dearest friend and I. The lighthearted laughter turned to serious conversation.

Why? Well, we’ve both had our share of intense growth moments this past 6-9 months. With a milestone birthday, it’s easy to fall into reflection of the past year, of friends who have moved on, lovers who have moved on (or struggled with), career choices and lifestyle choices. Deep conversations. Every soul needs those moments to explore and learn about self.

Later that evening, the theme of deep conversation continued with another special person in my life. It’s amazing how deep one can get in a time of pure reflection of self. It’s like the clouds part and the sun shines upon issues/people/situations that are of the utmost importance to you. All other concerns fall by the wayside.

So today’s moment? A celebration of laughter and deep conversations.

#moments #friends #Girlfriends #Dig Deeper #soul #laughter

Moments D65; Hurricanes & Earthquakes

Today I thought a lot about hurricanes and earthquakes. It’s an analogy that was used once to explain two incredible forces coming together. It was suggested that this was a rarity. Something that didn’t happen often and something that should be celebrated.

As much as I love the analogy, the fact that hurricanes & earthquakes don’t collide very often seems to be untrue. (What can I say, I had to google it!) There have been a few studies done where hurricanes seem to trigger earthquakes.

But I digress. The point, and the moment to be shared, is the fact that rarely do two unique souls connect and share their life experiences. Most times the differences are too great. Other times, there isn’t enough of a common thread to bother exploring. But, once in awhile there is this rare connection. Something that ties you to someone. Most times when these worlds/lives collide you are unable to explain the connection, but the fact of the matter is that this connection is undeniable and it needs to be explored.

And so - a moment of reflection. A moment of trying to understand how hurricanes and earthquakes can work together to create a new unique entity.

Moments D57: New Friends, Old Souls

One thing about me: I believe we are all connected. I believe that we are here, as physical beings to learn and to teach. That every moment should be special. That every interaction should be focused. (I know, this isn’t always possible, but I do try to focus on situations/people as they come into my world.)

Today was a continued day of meeting many new friends, new faces. For me, this is what drives my soul. People. Talking to people. Hearing their stories and understanding how their experiences have affected them and how their shared stories entwine into my life. Sometimes this connection feels so deep and so comfortable that I swear I’ve met these people in previous lives or different universes. For me, I call them old souls. (I’ve been told once or twice that I have an old soul, so I suppose we’ve run into one another before!)

To this day, I am still amazed when it happens. I’m sure you’ve felt it too. Where you just “click” with another person. It’s that moment where you just meet someone and you’ve moved beyond the pleasantries. Where you dive into discussions about business or life or lost loves. It happens fairly quickly and without much effort at all. Before you know it you are talking about the meaning of life (42) and how one can believe in a higher being without religion being a part of it. You’re sharing some of your deepest darkest secrets without even batting an eyelash.

I really love those moments. I am inspired by those moments.

Moments - D24; Black and White NOT!

There are people in the world that will insist that the world around them is full of defined things or moments.  In fact some believe that their path is predestined.  That answers are black or they are white.

I am not one that believes this.  I celebrate the many, MANY shades of grey that surround us.  I celebrate the unknown.  Discussing the unknown and analyzing the same.    For without shades of grey, how are we ever to know what is black and what is white?

And, for the record, while I believe we all have a purpose in life, I also believe that our path(s) chosen are not predestined.  We have choice on how we find and share that purpose in life.  This is the grey.  Choosing a path can be grey.  (read uncertain!)

It’s like having a great relationship with someone.  ANYONE really.  A parent.  A best friend.  A lover.  Answers are never simply black or white - after all there are two (or more) perspectives in the mix.  I believe this amplifies the many shades of grey between the extreme answers.   BUT - without this grey matter I think things between people would be quite boring.  There really wouldn’t be much to discuss or learn.  It’s truly the grey that brings us depth of understanding another soul and what their heart holds.

So I say - “Bring on the grey.  Celebrate the grey.  Question the Black & White answers offered because there is often much more going on beneath the surface.”

A moment shared from deep inside my soul.  Grey.  Celebrate it.

Moments - D19; Random Roads

Today was laid back relaxing kind of day spent with one of my dearest friends.

She's  been going through some intense life changes, but as she finds the tools she needs to better process through those changes I've seen her confidence build.  It has been soul warming to see this process.  I am proud of her.  I believe she will find her path and walk it with pride.  I feel that time is coming soon!

Today we spent some time in the car.  We were going to check out a festival, but it seemed underwhelming and over populated due to Mother's Day.  So, on the fly, we decided to go for a drive.  We had a direction, but no real purpose or path.  We were not bound by time or desire.  It reminded me that sometimes in life we need to set aside expectations and just walk the path.  (Or in this case drive the path!)  She and I enjoyed our 1.5 hr drive from one city to another.  We experienced things we wouldn't have otherwise experienced had we not followed random roads on our journey.

It was a reminder - a moment to share and remember.

A moment to remind us to let go of plans and expectations.

A moment.

Moments - D7 - New Wondrous Foods... and MANY moments!!

Today has been a special kind of day.  It's been filled with many magical moments.  I can't just choose one to share.  Why should I?  So, what I AM going to do, is share the ones that stood out and list some of the others.  I don't know why I was so flooded with moments, but hey, I'm going to love them all!

So - the first magical moment:  A loving email from a dear friend of mine.  She reminded me of being a light to others and how inspirational that can be.  It warmed my heart and it was a beautiful way to start my work day.

The second magical moment:  Another email from another friend.  She's been finding a new path.  SHE IS ON FIRE!  And she reminded me that I helped to keep the spark alive.  This filled my soul with such happiness.  She is an amazing women and I am CERTAIN she will find her path again.

And then the day brought moments of smiles.  Being told you are beautiful and kind and generous will do that in a day.  I don't know why I was flooded with love, but I promise the universe that I will take this love and energy and amplify it back to those most in need.

The next kinda-cool-I-need-to-share-moment has to do with a new wondrous (to me!) food.  You may (or not) know, I'm a bit of a foodie.  I've tried many, many different things over the years.  I have never, in my time on this earth, had a fresh almond.  Today a co-worker introduced me to these furry, tart, tasty fruits.  The almond flesh is tart.  The almond "pit" is sweet.  It's DELIGHTFUL!  It's a short season (according to the blog I found about them), but I am hoping I will be able to find some at the St. Lawrence market!

How INCREDIBLE.  Really!  I never knew that such a thing existed!  They were delicious.  Here's a picture:

And better yet, I found this other blog that talks about them in great detail.  Please do go read about them.

Yes - a new foodie moment.  A lot of love moments.  My day felt complete.  But I was wrong.

This evening brought a connection of old souls and great discussions of the workings of the world around us.  An impromptu moment between an 8-year old and her Mom.  "Mommy - I love you"....just as I walked past.  A confirmation of fun plans for the weekend....and then a surprise visit.  I didn't have the productive evening I had planned for myself, but I find myself closing out my day with a warm glow from all the beautiful moments.

So tonight I pause and thank the universe for being so generous with me today.  I am thankful for all the beautiful souls in my circles.  I promise to cherish them every day with MANY more moments to share.