Little did I know, that this centering of self was to be so relevant!
I knew I was heading to my friends’ house for a birthday celebration for one of my oldest and dearest friends. She is a yoga instructor (YI from here on in) and her husband was going to through her a small party with close friends and her family. My understanding was that it was going to be a surprise for YI.
When I arrived, YI’s cupcakes were sitting out. This evening’s activities were not going to be a surprise after all! That being said, YI seemed very happy and it wasn’t long before I was up to speed: we were going to have a special birthday fire kirtan ceremony to celebrate and bless YI.
Now, I’ve been YI’s fire kirtan’s before, but I’ve always sat in the background and watched as there have often been many attendees who are much more involved with this ceremony and its meaning. Typically there are four seats around the fire. Tonight, it was YI, her husband, the kirtankar and there remained an empty seat. Today, as there were fewer of us, participating, YI heavily suggested that I take the empty seat. How could I refuse the birthday girl her request? And so, I ended up taking that empty seat.
In doing so, I became an intimate participant of this ceremony. I participated in the chanting and building of the fire with herbs and sharing my light and energy more intimately within the circle of this ceremony than any of the others that I’ve attended in the past. And what transpired was a bit surprising to me. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. I was surprised at just how tangible the energy was and just how deeply it connected with me.
Our kirtankar spoke of blessing Rita for her year ahead (and every day moving forward). One of his main points was a discussion on sound and words. I found this quite interesting because I’ve come to very much appreciate words and their purpose in my life over the past 18 months. They are important - vital even to express oneself. But, as our kirtankar noted, sometimes they can really muddle up situations. His analogy started with this idea: ”Words can circle upon themselves. The sounds and feelings they are trying to share are what needs to be communicated. Sounds are vibrations, they resonate deep within us. Sometimes we need to clear our heads of the words, and find the sound to find the truth.”
I thought that was a brilliant moment. For many months I’ve focused on words, and while there were many moments where the words were worthy and fulfilling there were definitely times, especially with challenging days, where words did not suffice. Where words of others were not connecting. Where I couldn’t find the words to share my own thoughts and feelings. So I quickly connected to this idea that words are not enough.
Again, according to our kirtankar, words need to have the sound (energy/vibration) behind them to be meaningful. Far too often people simply throw around words, sometimes without even thinking about them. (And I contemplated situations where this was most obviously the case. Think about the sales rep who asks you how your day was. Are they bored? Do they look genuinely interested? Are they paying attention to your answer? Extrapolate that simple idea to anyone in your circle. Friends, family etc. Is there depth to the words? Can you feel the energy/vibration behind them?)
He had a fantastic analogy that I will bastardize here because I was absorbing the moment more than taking notes. The gist is this: Words are like the vessel and sounds are contained in the vessel. One without the other is not as useful as the work best together. Consider a cup without anything in it. Or water in your hand instead of a cup. Neither work well without the other. In order to properly fill a cup, the energy (sound) needs to be understood.
What I grasped from this small portion of the ceremony is that many people do not really take the time to consider their words. How are those words going to be received? What do those words really mean on a deeper level? What exactly is to be communicated? For the most part, I’d have to agree. Being aware of one’s words, at all times, is not easy. Far too often it’s easier to get caught up in the flood of emotion or excitement and words run away from their purpose. This a lesson I learned over the past year. Do not rush words. (Personally, I’ve never been a fan of rushing words, but I was, on occasion this past year, put in a situation where I had to. Sometimes it worked, other times it was disastrous.)
The point of today’s moment really was not to focus on words and sounds, but the kirtan blessing itself. However, I couldn’t resist sharing the discussion from my kirtankar’s understanding of words and sounds. It fits very well with my own journey these past 18 months. (Amazing moment #1 during this kirtan.)
The rest of the kirtan was incredible. There were many inspirational moments. A 5 year old girl sharing her energy and light by happily putting herbs into the fire. A giggle about YI`s cat having the ability to say “Ma”. Chanting and breathing in and out the energy. It was amazing and I could definitely feel the positive energy in the room.
We, the participants, focused that energy on Rita for the majority of the ceremony. And a surprising thing happened: our kirtankar offered the positive energy back to us in the form of kalava - a red string to be worn until it naturally falls off. (Amazing moment #2 of the kirtan) It’s purpose is to ward of evil and invite positive energy (health, wealth, happiness) to enter into self. It’s deeper purpose: to help one find brahman connecting to one’s “true self”.
I will happily wear my kalava until it falls off. The love in that room tonight was incredibly strong. Finding the energy beyond the words was empowering. I hope that the birthday blessings YI received tonight will follow her beyond this year and throughout the rest of her lifetime.
And one final note on today’s Kirtan gathering: YI’s family that I haven’t seen in a long time were there. Being such an intimate gathering, we were able to really catch up and talk about life. As I was leaving YI’s sister-in-law stopped me and told me how beautiful my energy was and she thanked me for sharing it tonight. I was a lot surprised by this. I thanked her for her kind words and hugged her. I told her I looked forward to our next adventure together. (Amazing moment #3 of the kirtan)
An interesting evening. One filled with many thoughts, emotions and, at times, complete silence and emptiness. I’m so very fortunate to have been such an intimate part of such a deeply spiritual ceremony. I was moved. No doubt about it.
Moments to dive in and experience something new.
Moments of revelation.
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