Moments D716 & Moment D717: Treasure Coaching, thank you Bob

This blog post is the first time I'm combining two days.  There are simply too many threads between the two days and the two moments.  I had started to write yesterday's moment, after school, before I got the news last night. I will share it all, but first, yesterday's moment:

Yesterday was a challenging day for me.  I've been missing EQ as he's been away on business for the last two weeks with another yet another week to go.   Add in a couple of missteps, a three hour time difference and suddenly the space between us was overwhelming.

I turned to Heini for some moral support and guidance through what felt like an emotional mine field.  She reminded me that it's okay to be feeling the separation and it's okay for me to deal with the flood of emotions on my time.  She also reminded me that it's important to stick up for my needs and to keep the lines of communication open. She signed off with a reminder of my value and sent me "a zillion more hugs and love as [my] Treasure Coach."

I had forgotten this term of endearment for Heini.  When I went through my separation 2.5 years ago, she was one of my pillars of strength.  As I walked through my new single life, floundering, lost, she kept gently pushing me to better connect with myself.  She insisted that I saw my value and that I wouldn't settle for anything less than exactly what I needed.  As I walked through one of the darkest times in my life, she was there, reminding me that I deserved to be cherished, honoured and loved.

And yesterday, she gently reminded me of that.  It brought a warmth to my aching-I-can't-connect-with-EQ-heart.

And then, last night happened.  After class, I was just about to get myself ready for bed and I finally checked my phone for updates in the world.

Heini had called six times.

I knew that wasn't for me and my aching heart and that something was wrong.

Her text said it all.

"I'll call you in a minute - dads in intensive care. Can you look after kitty? I'm flying in the morning. It's not looking good."

That text came in while I was in class, nearly 4.5 hours earlier.  I immediately called her.  Sick that I had been sorrowful enough to ignore my world  and, in this case, my dear sweet friend in need.

When she answered, I didn't even say hi, I simply asked if I should come over.  There was no real conversation as within the next three minutes I was out the door and on my way to her place.

I can't tell you how grateful I was to be there for her in those last moments of her father's life.  The raw emotion as realizations set in, as I watched her share those insights via phone calls between sisters, her mother and her aunt.  She was strong, focused on getting the job done, but I knew that she was heartbroken at the unexpected turn of events.

This all leads into today's moment.

Heini and I spent the evening and early morning hours with preparing her for her trip and the coming days.  Along the way, we walked through old photos, shared stories and even had a good belly laugh or two.  Of course there were tears, but through it all we were celebrating the life of an incredible man.

As long as I've known Heini (which is pushing into the second decade now!), she has always been looking for her father's approval.  (Who doesn't?)  She always questioned whether or not he was proud of her.  When that surfaced in our chats,  it was one moment I knew I could help her find some comfort.

In November 2012, Arizona & I spent a few days with Heini's parents.  We had a chance to really spend some quality time with them over meals.  One of the things that was very obvious was just how proud Heini's father was of her. He spoke of her fondly and he was insistent that Arizona and I participated in the weekly family phone call between the three of them.  (What a treat that was!)

The entire time that Arizona & I were there, Heini's father was one proud parent.

And so, I shared this memory with Heini.  Though tears filled her eyes, I could see that the story brought her some comfort.

Earlier this morning I drove Heini to the airport.  On the way, we shared more stories about father and we anointed today "the day of Bob".    Why not, right?

After a tearful, hug filled drop-off, Heini was on her way to her Mom and I was on my way home.  It was a pretty sunrise, so I stopped and took a few pictures and shared them over with Heini and we labelled it: "Sunrise of Bob."

So today's moment, I celebrate Bob.  I thank Bob for raising such a beautiful person as Heini, for only just yesterday she was, yet again, a rock for me. I thank Bob for seeding such inspiring ideals and for instilling such strength into my dear sweet friend.

Thank you Bob.
Thank you Heini.

Moments leaning on your friends.
Moments letting your friends lean on you.

Moments D687: Zip & Drop

Today started much the same as yesterday.  Slow to rise, lazy breakfast and a stroll along the beach.  This afternoon, however, it was a much different story!

Five of us headed to Mystic Mountain.

What an afternoon it was!  We tried a little of everything!  We walked through and read up on some of the local history from the museum at the top.  We ran the bobsled track (a couple of times!) and, all five of us, ran the zip lines!  Yes!  That's right!  All. Five.

So, while I originally thought today's moment would be seeing my Dad dive in dance with the locals at the museum (seriously, what a gut laughing moment we all loved!) the real moment found me while we were out on the zip lines.

Why that moment?  Well, that's because my Big Sis went out on a limb.  Literally.  And she's afraid of heights.

Not only did she survive the 15-20 minute chairlift, but she agreed to ride the bob sled and experience the zip line course.  (Did I mention she's afraid of heights?  Oh.  And she doesn't like rides.  Too fast.  Too scary.  And fast corners?  Yup.  Even scarier for her.  (um. Helllloooo!  A bobsled course? You know that there are corners on those tracks, right?  And....that a bobsled moves pretty fast?)

And yet, she did it.  All of it.

But it wasn't until we were suited up for the zip line course that she realized that there was a free fall drop on the zipline course.  "A WHAT?" she said.

Yes.  That's right.  A freefall drop.  Where they lean you out in your harness, over the edge of the platform and drop you to the one below.  Tethered of course.  Through a pulley system.  Easy!

She went white when we told her.

And then, she bravely followed us to the first zip line.

She screamed through the first line and while I didn't see her before she began the next line (there were too many people between us!), I didn't hear her scream on the second line.  I think she must have enjoyed it on some level!

And then we came to the free fall drop.  EQ and I had officially been separated from my parents and my Big Sis.  I couldn't see how she was doing.  Was she enjoying herself?  Was she scared and just pushing through?  I wasn't close enough to give her a squeeze of encouragement if she needed it. I found myself nervous for her. I hoped it wasn't too scary for her.  I could only send her some energy from the back of the pack of people.

And then I heard her scream.  I knew that in that moment it was over.  She had dropped from one platform to the next.

Phew!

When we finally caught up again, EQ & I pumped her for her thoughts on the experience.  While she wasn't as ghostly white as she was when she found out about the free fall drop, she was pretty shaken.  But, beneath that nervous laugh was a look of accomplishment.  She'd never admit it (stubborn 'ol bird!), but I think she secretly loved it and was proud of herself for taking the leap.

I know I was damn proud of her!  For her joining the family in Jamaica.  That was a big step for her.  For risking possible embarrassing family moments.  For agreeing to step even further outside of her comfort zone and try something extremely new.  Never before had I known her to try something so scary and challenging for her. She's pushing her boundaries.  I'm proud of her for doing so.  On all points, today's moment only highlights how far she's come.  A free fall from a tree.  So incredible!

Moments watching a new experience unfold.

Moments feeling proud for steps taken forward by those you love.

Moments D600: Fearless Parents

First of all - WOW.  This is my 600th blog post.  It's also an amazing blog post to share.  Today, my 65 year old parents went up in a plane and then jumped out for their first skydive!

Yes - that's right, they dove into the sky!

How more fitting a moment to share for my 600th blog post?  Incredible really.  I couldn't have planned it this way.  I love when significant things align.  For me, on some level, it makes those separate moments feel a touch more significant because they happen at the same time.

Crazy?  Perhaps.  But today, on a day when I'm crazy proud of my Mom and Dad for being so fearless and for being my most amazing parents, I'm also proud to have reached 600 blogs.  Two milestones in one day.  That's an incredible moment no matter how you slice it!

So back to my most amazing parents.  I have been teasing them about jumping out of a plane since July when I had my first tandem skydive.  Both of them were quick to change the subject at first.  Over time, they warmed to, "maybe one day".

And then they showed up to surprise me late this week for a visit in California.  Now, in EQ's territory, with the opportunity right before them, they could have passed and waited for "one day".  Instead, with a few gentle pushes (and a small exchange of - if we do this, EQ will do something else) they took the bull by the horns and rode it hard all the while smiling and laughing.  ('Tis the family way I think!)

They arrived right on time, bright eyed and eager to experience their tandem jump.  After reading every line of the waiver forms, my Dad was advised to speak to the most senior skydive person about his recent heart surgery.  He was advised by the drop zone to skip the jump as he didn't have a written pass from his cardiologist on this specific activity.  If Dad wanted to jump, he would have to sign an additional waiver to do so.  After some debate, my Dad simply looked at my Mom and said, well what do you think?  Her response was immediate:  "If you don't do it, you'll regret it."

And so, he signed the additional waiver.  (I'm not surprised, after all my Dad's feeling better than he has in many years after his heart surgery!)

I could tell that both Mom and Dad were a touch nervous on the ground as they suited up and readied themselves for the plane, but they were filled with big smiles and lots of laughter as they did so.  Each had an incredible tandem instructor, so I wasn't worried about that at all.  I knew that they were in good hands.

And then I watched them board the plane and fly away.  I had the briefest of moments of worry, after all, both my beloved parents were on the same plane, jumping out one after the other.  The thought passed as quickly as it came.

Before long, I could see them jump from the plane and I watched as their parachutes opened.  Cheering from the ground, I knew that they would have loved the freefall and the canopy ride in.  Now for the landing to go smoothly!

Dad approached the drop zone landing area first.  Fine form; he was definitely ready to land! Dad and his tandem partner landed without any issue at all.  With a slight hop, Dad was quick to smile and share the excitement of his jump with the camera.  And then all eyes were on the sky for Mom.

Mom came in last and at the time she was arriving, the winds had picked up some.  With a few skills turns, she and her tandem partner landed.  Thought it looked perfect, Mom crumpled to the ground after they landed.  From where I was, I couldn't tell what had happened.  All I could do was wait (and worry) to find out.

Before long, I could see she was on her feet, hugging & kissing Dad.  Hugging EQ.  All seemed well as they made their way back from the landing area.

When they were close enough, I joined them on the rest of the walk in.  The excitement was palpable.  They loved it.  All of it.  There was no best part.  (I asked!)  For Mom though, her motion sickness kicked in as they approached the landing.  She was a bit queasy when they landed, thus why she sat down when they first landed.  Phew.  Queasiness we can easily deal with!

So, did they have a great experience?  Here it is in  my Dad's own words:

Now to see if they'll jump for ALS this coming summer.  Any bets?

Moments that confirm just how awesome my parents are.

Moments being the proud daughter.

Moments D582: Whispering Ghosts

We all have a past and stories that have shaped our present and make us who we are today.  Some of those experiences are beautiful, joyful moments.  Some are nothing short of horrific.  Everyone has ghosts.

Sometimes the ghosts become our guardians.  Those ghosts give us a sense of self, a sense of security and bring a smile to our faces.  On the other hand, there are also ghosts that haunt us.  Ghosts that whisper to us and convince us (sometimes without being aware) to act in ways that we later question our own behaviours and who we really are.

Today my "big sister" shared with me how she finally looked her whispering ghost in the eye and told it that she was going to fight back.  Over 18 years of trying to ignore the ghost haunting her and how its whispers affect her perspectives on parts of her life, she is now ready to work on ridding herself of the constant taunting.

She shared with me how this past weekend shared the story with her children.  I know only too well how hard it was for her to share this part of her past.  An unpleasant part of her past that bore this particular ghost.  I couldn't be more proud of her as she walked me through her story from the weekend.

Admitting that you have a whispering ghost taunting you is really only the first step.  I know that there will be many a challenging day ahead for my big sis as she faces her daemon head on.  It will be a challenge, but she is not alone in her battle.  Awareness brings her solidarity.  She is surrounded by the love of her family.

Moments hearing a story that warms your soul because you know just how big a step forward was taken.

Moments surrounding those you love with bright positive energy so that they can fight against their whispering ghosts.