Moments D624: Words create your story

This morning I had one of my new skydiver friends reach out and share an article with me, that speaks to creating your story and how to better remember our post allowing for a happier tomorrow.

Brilliant really.  Life really is all about perspective.

Words definitely create your story.  It's why I've written about them in a few blog posts.  It's why I continue to write my blog.  She and I had a good discussion on it, and I started my day with a glow.

The rest of my day, unfortunately, was filled with miscommunicated words on a few levels, it was good to go back and revisit the conversation I had this morning about sharing words.  It really is the perfect moment to share about today.

Today was a reminder that sometimes words are not received as they were meant to.  Sometimes words don't quite cut it and sometimes even the simplest of words cut deeply.  It's all about perspective and understanding how to edit for a better ending.

I'm getting better at that.  Sharing my words and being less afraid to verbalize my words (after all I'm a writer, not a speaker!) are all starting to bring to light another side of me.

While I would have called myself aware in the past, I feel I'm even more aware today.  And as I reflect upon today's moment, I realize that creating my story has brought me that depth of awareness.

So, today's moment?  Celebrating words because even though sometimes they can mess things up, they also bring much joy and depth into my life.

Moments sharing thoughts and ideas with a new friend.

Moments to remind that even when words get dark, digging into the corners of one's mind is a good thing to process through.

Moments D623: Tunnel Rats

Today my love whisked me away for an after work surprise.  I had no idea where we were headed, but we were late and we sped off quickly to get there.  And after a lovely 15 minute motorcycle ride, we arrived at the Perris Indoor Skydiving Tunnel.  Uh oh.  I was going indoor skydiving.

Not knowing what to expect, I was nervous.  I'm always nervous trying something new, and this time, I was completely out of my realm and fully in EQ's world.  The last thing I wanted to do was embarrass EQ in front of his colleagues and friends.

No pressure, right?

I had 6 minutes in the tunnel.  Not all together!  Gosh no.  That would be insane!  My moments were broken up into 1 minute increments, so I was in the tunnel 6 times for 60 seconds each time.

What was immediately noticeable was how much could be learned in 60 seconds.  Incredible really.  Not only for myself, but for the other two students that were working in the tunnel.  By the time I was in my third round, I was getting the hang of it.  By the fourth time I was flying on my own and for the fifth and sixth times, my coach was flying with me and spinning me around.  EQ even joined us for a second or for for a mid-air kiss.  Too much fun.

As I waited in between my turns, I watched the others learn their flying skills.  At the end of our tunnel time, our tunnel coach enjoyed the final moments in the tunnel and showed us her expertise. WOW.  Incredible.

I can see how people would become "tunnel rats" and enjoy as much time in the wind tunnel as they could.  I love every second that I was in there!

Not only did I learn something new today, but I also found myself respecting the sport of skydiving a whole lot more.

Here's hoping I wasn't embarrassing to my love!

Moments enjoying a surprise.

Moments appreciating the finer details of a new sport.

Moments D622: Celebrate Life

Today was a rough day as pieces of bad news made their way to me.   An old respected and loved colleague of mine lost his battle with lung cancer yesterday.  A team mate of mine lost his mother.  Another friend struggles with an ailing father.

Each a message was a reminders that life is short.  That we need to do what we can to shape each day into one that is meaningful.

So tonight, even though I was tired and would have liked to tuck in early, EQ & I ventured out for dinner with friends who were heading home tomorrow.  I'm glad that I did, for we shared a lot of laughs and stories of life, death and progress.  In the big picture, we celebrated their successes from the weekend, which is no small feat given that I've heard how challenging the training course is.

Post dinner, EQ and I celebrated life again on our own, by taking some time for just the two of us.  It was perfect. We celebrated life, the milestones we have accomplished and those we are about to set.

Moments that remind you of the fragility of life.

Moments grabbing hold and living a little more.

Moments D618: Expectations, opportunity and thanks

This morning I woke early, on my typical daily schedule.  I was wide awake at 4:45 am PST (7:45 am EST)  - a normal rising time for me.  That's not supposed to happen on New Year's Day.  Isn't everyone supposed to sleep in and enjoy a lazy morning in bed instead?  Apparently that wasn't meant to be for me.

I also didn't want to wake EQ as he had to work today.  He wasn't due to rise for a couple of hours, so I decided to inhale the quiet of the morning and start the New Year with the sunrise on my own.

Just after 6am, I ventured out into the brisk quiet morning.  My plan, go for a walk, watch the sunrise and spend some time in with the sun before heading back home.  I brought the novel I was reading with me ("The Sister's Brothers - I recommend!) to help pass the time.

The briskness surprised me and I was happy to have bundled up before I left.  The first thing I noticed when I started on my morning adventure was that the howling coyotes in the distance.  What an eerie, beautiful song they sang.

As started my walk the sky slowly started it's shift in colour.  Most interesting was to listen to the still morning as the coyotes quieted and the roosters took over singing as the sky began to brighten.  A changing of the guard if you will.

I didn't expect to start my day with the sun breaking the horizon.  I didn't certainly didn't expect to start my year walking alone in the briskness of dawn.    What I realized in those early moments of my walk, was that sometimes expectations cause inflexibility or kill one's creativity.  In the worst scenarios, expectations can also cause you to miss a new opportunity thrown at you unexpectedly.

As I continued my walk, I pondered this conundrum.  Life is filled with expectations.  We all have them.  Expectations of family, of friends, of other people in our circles (or just outside our circle), with our jobs and our co-workers, and how we as individuals present ourselves to the world.

I walked swiftly to keep warm and toiled with this concept, rolling it around in my mind.  One really cannot live without expectations, after all that's like living without goal.  So the key then, in my opinion, was to find a way to keep balance with expectations so that they don't cause inflexibility.  Brilliant.  Not mind blowing, considering balance is the key to a lot of things.  The bigger point is to find the trick is to sort out how to keep that balance.

Talk about deep thoughts so early in the day, this the first of 2014.  I couldn't help but think back to a year ago today where I had also found myself waking to expectations that had been blown of the water.  I remember feeling crushed and uncertain of the path ahead of me.  And yet as that first day of 2013 progressed, I felt more confident in my path forward, challenging as it was.

I quickly found myself overwhelmed with ghosts.  So much has transpired since that moment.  And today is the start of another year and I could feel that I was yet again at a crossroad of expectations.  My mind heavy with thought, I paused to enjoy the calm of two horses playing with one another.

I needed that pause.  In that moment, the warmth of the sun began to break through the chill of the morning. With that moment came the realization just how much I had learned in a year.  My personal growth has deepened and I owe much, if not all of that growth, to the people I have surrounded myself with.    And that was my moment today.  Feeling grateful.  Being excited by the future and what I will be sharing with them moving forward.

So, if you'll bear with me, I'm going to take some time to thank them.  Yes, today's blog is a novel.  For those to expecting a solution to my original thought - you can stop reading here.  I never did figure out a solution to keep the balance between expectations and being flexible.  I guess I have something to chew on for days to come!  What can I say, I was completely distracted by the amazing circle I have around me and I took rest of my time alone, at the beginning of the year, to pause and appreciate them.

In the end, it's been a hell of a day, and a hell of a start to 2014 and I want, nay I need to share a little love and thank my friends for the opportunities they've given me to grow this past year.

Arizona.  What a strong, beautiful woman you are. Our friendship is relatively new, but it is a deep friendship.  You have offered me many new perspectives in the ever changing world I find myself in.  Thank you for sharing with me.

Archie & Comic Guy.  My besties. A couple that has been in my life for a very long time.  First I love them as individuals for they have unique perspectives that I love from each of them.  Second, I love them as a couple.  I truly don't know where I'd be without the two of you.  Thank you for always picking me up when I falter, for kicking my ass (not so gently) and for helping me navigate some tricky waters in the past year.

BFF.  Through thick and thin we've been.  Tears, music, anger, joy, milestones and then some.  What an incredible colourful journey it's been my dear friend.  Thank you for recognizing the value of our friendship, for fighting daemons (of your own and mine) to keep our friendship strong.  I am grateful for the opportunity to learn from mistakes made in 2013 for I know it means our friendship will grow ever deeper and more meaningful.

Bunny & Bear. Long time friends.  I've worked with, schooled with, and spent many interesting evenings with Bear.  When he married Bunny, it was a most special day to watch them unit.  They are an incredible couple with two amazing young lads.  Thank you both for sharing your individual brightness with me as well as that of your beautiful family.  I know, without a doubt that you always have my back.

Cherry.  A work colleague come friend.  Thank you for commiserating with me as we processed through similar life milestones this past year. I look forward to a continued friendship with your and your new beau.

Chica.  A fellow co-worker that I adore.  You are proof that even someone old like me can learn from a young thing like you.  (Not that I'm ageist at all!) Thank of for your endless positive energy and for reminding me that life is too short.  I love your perspective on life and appreciate that positive, self-respecting version of the world around you.  I will continue to try and incorporate more of that into my world.

Co-workers.  Thank you for making every work day easier to get out of bed for.  You are an amazing hard working, inspiringly creative crew.  I'm thankful every day.

Hawk.   Thank you for for the biggest learning opportunity of all this past year.  We have shared and lost much together over this past year.  My hope is that you find deep happiness in the years to come.

Heini. A friend with nearly 2 decades of history.  Over the years we have battled many daemons together.  What I have always loved was that you offer your insightful opinions without judgement.  You have always listened, understood, respected and supported me even when the path chosen was one you didn't agree with.  The truest, deepest mark of a best friend.  Thank you for loving me and supporting me through many of life's trials.  I have learned a lot from our friendship.

MooCow.  A new friend, adopted from EQ's circle. An amazing huge heart, ready to help out at a moments notice.  Such a wonderful energy to be a part of.  Thank you for accepting me into your world.

Mr. B.  A co-worker that I call friend.  He's nearly my father's age, but I don't see him as a father figure.  I see him for his brilliance and experience.  A true mentor and friend to me (even if he does get me in trouble sometimes!).  Thank you for all the insights you share with me.  I am a sponge to your words.

My Family:  One big thank you to envelope each of you with a hug filled with love. There are many entries in my daily blog that speak to just how important you are to me.  I am so very fortunate to have such an amazing family. 

My team mates. Baseball, volleyball, boot camp and tough mudders.  Thank you all for keeping me moving, growing and learning as an athlete.  It feels great knowing that even being nearly 40 I still have some moves to share back.

SILIS & Sunshine-Unicorns&Rainbows.  A couple from EQ's circle who have graciously accepted me into their world.  They have brought many a smile to me over this past year.  Thank you for welcoming me in your home just last night for an amazing meal and to celebrate the turn of the year.  I'm sure we'll see many more celebrations in the years to come.

To all of my new sky diving friends:  What an incredible bunch you are!  So diverse, so welcoming, so filled with life.  Thank you for sharing a sliver of your world with me.

Tree & Baldr.  New friends also from EQ's circle.  New friends that, at once, I felt at home with.   Thank you for the acceptance and love you have shared with me already.  Like long lost souls that have finally had an opportunity to reunite.  I'm excited about the possibilities in the years to come for our blooming friendship.

To everyone else in my world that I haven't specifically called out, thank you for crossing my path and for sharing a piece of you with me.  Each moment shared is an opportunity for me to learn and grow.

And last, but certainly not least, my dear sweet love - EQ.  Never has someone been allowed so deep into my being.  Thank you for turning your twinkling eyes my way.  How you ever found me I will never know, but I am grateful every day that you did.  You make it easy (okay, easier!) to share the deepest parts of me.  Thank you for your patience, for your love and for building a strong foundation for our future together.

And there you have it.  My little novella that will bore most.  For me, it's a perfect way to start 2014, with reflection of the past and the excitement of the future ahead of me.

Moments where one's mind goes in many directions, only to circle back to that which is most important.

Moments enjoying the promise of a new day, and the opportunity to dig ever deeper thanks to those in your life.

Moments D600: Fearless Parents

First of all - WOW.  This is my 600th blog post.  It's also an amazing blog post to share.  Today, my 65 year old parents went up in a plane and then jumped out for their first skydive!

Yes - that's right, they dove into the sky!

How more fitting a moment to share for my 600th blog post?  Incredible really.  I couldn't have planned it this way.  I love when significant things align.  For me, on some level, it makes those separate moments feel a touch more significant because they happen at the same time.

Crazy?  Perhaps.  But today, on a day when I'm crazy proud of my Mom and Dad for being so fearless and for being my most amazing parents, I'm also proud to have reached 600 blogs.  Two milestones in one day.  That's an incredible moment no matter how you slice it!

So back to my most amazing parents.  I have been teasing them about jumping out of a plane since July when I had my first tandem skydive.  Both of them were quick to change the subject at first.  Over time, they warmed to, "maybe one day".

And then they showed up to surprise me late this week for a visit in California.  Now, in EQ's territory, with the opportunity right before them, they could have passed and waited for "one day".  Instead, with a few gentle pushes (and a small exchange of - if we do this, EQ will do something else) they took the bull by the horns and rode it hard all the while smiling and laughing.  ('Tis the family way I think!)

They arrived right on time, bright eyed and eager to experience their tandem jump.  After reading every line of the waiver forms, my Dad was advised to speak to the most senior skydive person about his recent heart surgery.  He was advised by the drop zone to skip the jump as he didn't have a written pass from his cardiologist on this specific activity.  If Dad wanted to jump, he would have to sign an additional waiver to do so.  After some debate, my Dad simply looked at my Mom and said, well what do you think?  Her response was immediate:  "If you don't do it, you'll regret it."

And so, he signed the additional waiver.  (I'm not surprised, after all my Dad's feeling better than he has in many years after his heart surgery!)

I could tell that both Mom and Dad were a touch nervous on the ground as they suited up and readied themselves for the plane, but they were filled with big smiles and lots of laughter as they did so.  Each had an incredible tandem instructor, so I wasn't worried about that at all.  I knew that they were in good hands.

And then I watched them board the plane and fly away.  I had the briefest of moments of worry, after all, both my beloved parents were on the same plane, jumping out one after the other.  The thought passed as quickly as it came.

Before long, I could see them jump from the plane and I watched as their parachutes opened.  Cheering from the ground, I knew that they would have loved the freefall and the canopy ride in.  Now for the landing to go smoothly!

Dad approached the drop zone landing area first.  Fine form; he was definitely ready to land! Dad and his tandem partner landed without any issue at all.  With a slight hop, Dad was quick to smile and share the excitement of his jump with the camera.  And then all eyes were on the sky for Mom.

Mom came in last and at the time she was arriving, the winds had picked up some.  With a few skills turns, she and her tandem partner landed.  Thought it looked perfect, Mom crumpled to the ground after they landed.  From where I was, I couldn't tell what had happened.  All I could do was wait (and worry) to find out.

Before long, I could see she was on her feet, hugging & kissing Dad.  Hugging EQ.  All seemed well as they made their way back from the landing area.

When they were close enough, I joined them on the rest of the walk in.  The excitement was palpable.  They loved it.  All of it.  There was no best part.  (I asked!)  For Mom though, her motion sickness kicked in as they approached the landing.  She was a bit queasy when they landed, thus why she sat down when they first landed.  Phew.  Queasiness we can easily deal with!

So, did they have a great experience?  Here it is in  my Dad's own words:

Now to see if they'll jump for ALS this coming summer.  Any bets?

Moments that confirm just how awesome my parents are.

Moments being the proud daughter.

Moments D598: Family Firsts

Mom & Dad arrived at the drop zone just as I finished working for the day.  Brilliant timing because EQ had just headed out to his next jump of the day.  We had the perfect opportunity to watch the skies for the canopies coming in - it was a bright sunny day, with not a cloud to be seen.  Easy to spot the plane, easy to see people leaving the plane.  Perfect for a first experience on a drop zone!

I could see the excitement in their eyes as they searched the skies for hints of skydivers and their canopies. In a moment, I fondly remembered my own first experience on a drop zone.  It was magical watching the bright canopies sailing through the bright blue skies.  While the shine of the experience has worn off some, I find it's still magical to watch the skydivers swoop & sail into their landings.  

For me, instead of enjoying the skies as much I would normally, I found myself watching and enjoying this new experience again through the eyes of my Mom and Dad.  They eagerly watched the sky for the plane.  Then for the skydivers leaving the plane and then, eagerly waiting to see the canopies open. They asked a million and one questions about the drop zone and skydiving in general.  I loved answering their questions about the drop zone and skydiving in general (what I could anyway!).  And when we finally saw his canopy open, it was fun to follow EQ's and track him all the way into the landing zone.  A special moment because I found I was very much enjoying them enjoy themselves.  Simply incredible to watch them soak it all in.   

Moments enjoying the excited twinkle in their eyes.

Moments experiencing a first for my parents.

Moments D481: Stretching for charity

Today BFF jumped out of a perfectly good air plane this morning, not just to check if off her bucket list.  She was inspired to do so for a great fund raising cause - ALS.  (Documented well here.) One of BFF's dearest friends' father is fighting the disease every day. BFF has seen just how hard this disease is on the family and of course for her friend's father.  

Top that off with the fact that BFF has had her own struggles this year.  Too many and too personal to share, but suffice it to say that this fundraising event was a big stretch for her and she did it with the smile and grace that a best friend does for her friend and her family.  This is her way of giving back.

BFF not only met her fundraising goal, but she was also a great spokesperson for the cause as she spoke on camera about why she was supporting the PALS skydive.

It was a such beautiful moment to watch her in her element (talking to the committee and people on the drop zone) and it was a beautiful moment to watch her stretch beyond her fears to let go and float her way back down to earth.   Her selflessness to the every end of the event.  Brilliant!

Moments appreciating the dedication and hard work of all the volunteers.

Moments being inspired by the selflessness of BFF.

Moments D436: Reliving Moments

Today was slow start for me.  I had the entire day booked off as a vacation day, but I decided to only take the morning to myself before going into the office this afternoon to, at the very lease, clean up my emails.  I did, however, luxuriate in my lazy morning where I had plenty of time to relive and share a couple of moments.  Contrary to one another, one from my incredible weekend just passed and the other was from my recent past.  I found myself reflecting over all that has happened in the past year, where I've been, where I am, and of course, where I'm going.  This past weekend was life altering; this morning I relived the moments that changed my path.  

After waking lazily (no alarm!) I decided to upload some of my sky diving photos online to share with the world; it was a joy to relive this moment of excitement and joy and honest to goodness euphoria.  Euphoria was quickly dulled as I found myself wrestling with something that has been haunting me for far too long.  Reliving the haunting of my recent past was not a pleasant moment; it became thief to my  excited energy brought to me by my newest adventure.  This haunting was no longer something that could be avoided given my new perspective, given my need for a clear path into my future.  And as I relived the moment with my nearest and dearest I felt a sense of relief wash over me as the solution (not a new solution, but one now unavoidable) presented itself once again.  

With a feeling of wonder for the shifts in energies this morning, I followed the path of relief.  After, as I readied myself for my afternoon of work, I found myself reflecting upon this shift of emotion and the eerie familiarity of it all.  (the high, the low, the high, the low.....)  It was definitely time to clear my path.  

Given this swing of emotion, I found myself feeling dulled.  And then I arrived at work and shared my life-changing weekend adventure with the team.  Before I knew it, my energy had shifted once again back to the this vivacious place I like to live.  Excited stories of my weekend came hurriedly.  The photo sharing,  the laughter; before I knew it, my energy was high and bright again.

And then it hit me.  Sharing milestones with people can be inspiring to others.  The energy in the office was high an the excitement from my posting of photos online was something I've never experienced before.  My bucket list check-mark had become an inspiration to others.  I was awed how sharing can create such energy and inspiration amoung my family and friends.  

Today's moment reliving past moments found me a reflective student.  I'm ready for my future, more than I've ever been.  With a new perspective on how to deal with obstacles and opportunities, I am ready.

Moments reliving other moments.

Moments realizing there has been a shift.

Moments D433: My turn - Up Close & Personal

I spent the entire day on the CSC drop zone today. I watched the wingsuit crew come and go as they made their competition jumps. I took a zillion photos of the skies filled with the canopies of parachutes. I took a few more of the wingsuit crew while they were on the ground. Some shortly after landing, other photos of them as they re-packed their chutes. What an incredible amount of activity to take in. Top it off with the fact that it was a beautiful day, sunny, though windy and not too hot. I have some amazing photos.

But, the very biggest part of my day was my first ever tandem jump. After going up in one of the planes that the wingsuit crew jumped from as an observer (yes I came down with the plane!), I had an idea of what it would look like. Interestingly, I wasn't freaked out at all to see people jump from the plane as an observer. (Some of the crew thought I might be.)   I was ready to check this off my bucket list!

My tandem jump was scheduled near the end of the day, not quite sunset, but very darn close. What an incredible moment it was as I was sitting in the loading area with my AWESOME tandem instructor Woody. He kept me talking on the ride up to 14,000 feet; a smart tactic for those that may find themselves overly nervous. I was nervous (any new experience brings nerves), but I wasn't worried about it. I knew that I was in the best hands that I could be in.

Stepping off the plane, a lot surreal. Sixty seconds of freefall – uber-surreal. The wind hitting you at ~130 miles per hour means that it’s loud and it’s powerful. I was thankful for the goggles as even with them I had tears running from my eyes. But it wasn't enough to stop me from looking around. Watching the plane “fall” away from me, smiling and giving the camera man a thumbs up, finding EQ in the air for a kiss-pass (apparently quite common in the sport!), and of course looking for the ground.  In freefall I couldn't (or didn't) see the curvature of the earth, but in this photo during my jump, you can really see it!

Before I knew it, my 60s of freefall was over and the chute was opened.  We were quickly snapped into a much slower fall under the canopy. Woody gave me the reins and I was navigating the chute above us. It was incredible to be floating to the earth as I was. Woody even had us do a few spins around as we floated down. So much fun. It wasn't until we approached the ground again that I had any sense of the speed we were arriving at. Of course, after watching the process all day, I knew that the landing was pretty quick and when done well, you basically were set upon your feet gently. Woody (and I?) landed it perfectly on our feet. An amazing experience that was followed by many greetings of congratulations, hugs, high fives, and laughter from the entire crew I met yesterday. Again, very surreal to have them share such energy with me, the newbie.

A huge thank you to EQ and his teammates for making it such an incredibly special moment for me. The memory of falling away from the plane (those 3-4 seconds I could see it) is a memory will be with me forever.  

Moments stepping outside the box (or in this case the plane).

Moments realizing you really can do anything you set your mind to.

Time to revisit my list!

Moments D432: An introduction to the Sky diving culture

I love experiencing new things.  Every opportunity to grow is one that I embrace.  Not all of them are happy, joyous learning opportunities, but they all stretch my soul.  So when I was offered an opportunity to have a inside introduction into the world of sky diving, how could I ever possibly say no?  What I didn't realize was just how much I would enjoy meeting this new world.

Today I went with EQ to the drop zone in Rochelle, IL - Chicagoland Skydiving Center. It was a first for me to be on a drop zone and to meet people who sky dive. Not only did I meet some of the veterans of this particular drop zone, I was fortunate enough to meet the wingsuit group here for their first annual Sequentials Competition. Incredible people.  It's no wonder EQ loves the energy of this sport and the people he flys with.  They are such amazing people. Vibrant, full of life and energy, and they easily accepted me into their group even though I was a true outsider to the sport.

I watched as they practiced their rotations for the jumps planned tomorrow. I took a few photos and pondered their sport as they organized themselves. This sport takes sky diving to the next level. More dangerous and somewhat controversial in some circles, but for those in the sport, a testament to and surely more of an adrenaline rush. Check out this video to give you an idea!

It was an incredible moment to meet this group. I felt honoured that EQ introduced me to his sport mates – it was like being a fly on the wall, for I truly was an outsider. After an afternoon break, we met up with the crew again for a delightful Mexican dinner.  Conversations were easy to come to me with much laughter dabbled throughout the evening. What a delightful way to be introduced to a new sport and a new group of people.

Moments knowing you have no idea what to expect next.

Moments watching in awe and absorbing in the (new) energy.