Yesterday was a challenging day for me. I've been missing EQ as he's been away on business for the last two weeks with another yet another week to go. Add in a couple of missteps, a three hour time difference and suddenly the space between us was overwhelming.
I turned to Heini for some moral support and guidance through what felt like an emotional mine field. She reminded me that it's okay to be feeling the separation and it's okay for me to deal with the flood of emotions on my time. She also reminded me that it's important to stick up for my needs and to keep the lines of communication open. She signed off with a reminder of my value and sent me "a zillion more hugs and love as [my] Treasure Coach."
I had forgotten this term of endearment for Heini. When I went through my separation 2.5 years ago, she was one of my pillars of strength. As I walked through my new single life, floundering, lost, she kept gently pushing me to better connect with myself. She insisted that I saw my value and that I wouldn't settle for anything less than exactly what I needed. As I walked through one of the darkest times in my life, she was there, reminding me that I deserved to be cherished, honoured and loved.
And yesterday, she gently reminded me of that. It brought a warmth to my aching-I-can't-connect-with-EQ-heart.
And then, last night happened. After class, I was just about to get myself ready for bed and I finally checked my phone for updates in the world.
Heini had called six times.
I knew that wasn't for me and my aching heart and that something was wrong.
Her text said it all.
"I'll call you in a minute - dads in intensive care. Can you look after kitty? I'm flying in the morning. It's not looking good."That text came in while I was in class, nearly 4.5 hours earlier. I immediately called her. Sick that I had been sorrowful enough to ignore my world and, in this case, my dear sweet friend in need.
When she answered, I didn't even say hi, I simply asked if I should come over. There was no real conversation as within the next three minutes I was out the door and on my way to her place.
I can't tell you how grateful I was to be there for her in those last moments of her father's life. The raw emotion as realizations set in, as I watched her share those insights via phone calls between sisters, her mother and her aunt. She was strong, focused on getting the job done, but I knew that she was heartbroken at the unexpected turn of events.
This all leads into today's moment.
Heini and I spent the evening and early morning hours with preparing her for her trip and the coming days. Along the way, we walked through old photos, shared stories and even had a good belly laugh or two. Of course there were tears, but through it all we were celebrating the life of an incredible man.
As long as I've known Heini (which is pushing into the second decade now!), she has always been looking for her father's approval. (Who doesn't?) She always questioned whether or not he was proud of her. When that surfaced in our chats, it was one moment I knew I could help her find some comfort.
In November 2012, Arizona & I spent a few days with Heini's parents. We had a chance to really spend some quality time with them over meals. One of the things that was very obvious was just how proud Heini's father was of her. He spoke of her fondly and he was insistent that Arizona and I participated in the weekly family phone call between the three of them. (What a treat that was!)
The entire time that Arizona & I were there, Heini's father was one proud parent.
And so, I shared this memory with Heini. Though tears filled her eyes, I could see that the story brought her some comfort.
Earlier this morning I drove Heini to the airport. On the way, we shared more stories about father and we anointed today "the day of Bob". Why not, right?
After a tearful, hug filled drop-off, Heini was on her way to her Mom and I was on my way home. It was a pretty sunrise, so I stopped and took a few pictures and shared them over with Heini and we labelled it: "Sunrise of Bob."
So today's moment, I celebrate Bob. I thank Bob for raising such a beautiful person as Heini, for only just yesterday she was, yet again, a rock for me. I thank Bob for seeding such inspiring ideals and for instilling such strength into my dear sweet friend.
Thank you Bob.
Thank you Heini.
Moments leaning on your friends.
Moments letting your friends lean on you.
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