Moments D591: Old friends, new energy

Today's moment comes from an unexpected blast from my past. As I was walking into the office this morning, I was stopped on the stairs by a fellow co-worker. But before I share today's moment, I need to share some of the strange background history.

This lovely woman once, many years ago, dated my then best friend. The three of us were nearly inseparable for about a year before life's shifting self had other ideas.  (As is does sometimes.) What was the catalyst?Well, eventually my best friend and co-worker split. It became awkward very quickly for me as I found myself in the middle of a very difficult and highly emotional breakup; I ended up drifting away from them both.

Fast forward ten or so years later and much has happened in all our lives. Marriages, divorces, separations and an MS diagnosis. Just this past Tuesday I had coffee with my old friend. I haven't seen her in about 3-4 years and the last time was also just a quick lunch outing as well. It's been many more years since we've been close. Our coffee break catch up was great. She's doing well even though she's had a challenging year.

Back to today's moment and being stopped in the staircase. My co-worker paused me to share with me her early morning thoughts, as she woke. In her words, she shared that she and I might have remained and possibly become closer friends had she never dated my old best friend. She paused and further explained that she wished that she hadn't gone so deep into that relationship and neglected her other friendships.

I reassured her that I never felt neglected and that life shifts and changes just cause drifting sometimes. She didn't seem to buy it though. She pressed the issue of our lost friendship. All I could do was offer her a hug and another assurance that her actions alone didn't cause us to drift.

About an hour later she shared these words with me via email:

After having a recent friend breakup, her words touched me deeply. Sometimes life just takes two people into separate directions, it doesn't make with one of them bad people. Sometimes the fit changes. Sometimes needs do. Sometimes physical locations do. Whatever the changes, it takes two to make it work and sometimes that energy is lost on other priorities.

Today's moment: appreciating and recognizing that life changes happen. It doesn't need to be seen as a negative thing.

Moments reflecting on what could have been.

Moments recognizing that we choose our path in life conscious or not. I prefer to be conscious.

Moments D581: Fighting to grow

In life there are people I consider fighters.  My definition of fighter does not include the type of angry person looking to pick a physical fight, nor the person who likes to be contrary or enjoys bullying others just to be argumentative.  No....those sorts are just insecure persons unsure of how to better themselves.  No, the type of person that I like to label a fighter is someone who pushes themselves beyond their own boundaries.  I respect that, for it's not easy to get outside of one's comfort zone.  It's not easy to fight against the rhythm of others and find your own beat.

But those that do, those that find their own beat to walk to, those that question and ponder and find their own path, those are the fighters that I admire.  Today, I celebrate a moment spent with such a woman.

Some back story:  A couple of years ago, she was my next door neighbour.  We shared the front yard of a duplex and frankly, when I first moved in beside her our relationship was tenuous. As time passed and we interacted more, our mutual unease lifted and a friendship was formed.

Tonight was the second time that I've visited her since my ex and I sold the house.  It's a joy to see how she has become great friends with the new owner of my old house.  Every time I've seen her, she thanks me for choosing her over the "other guy" when we were selling the house.  My ex-neighbour asked her new neighbour to join us for a spell.  So she did and shared a glass of wine with us.

And you  know what?  I liked her.  A lot.  She's lovely.  She loves the house and the neighbourhood.  What more could I have asked for as a proud ex-home owner?  After all, I remember the last moment I had in my old home - I begged the powers that be to have someone buy the house that loved it.  I can see that she loves my old home.  And yet, I felt a twinge when she offered to have me walk through my old home.  No, I'm not quite ready to see the changes she has made to it.  Not yet.

But I digress.

Today's moment is not about the new owner of my old home, but of my ex-neighbour come friend.  She's fought through a double mastectomy last year, only to deal with chemotherapy and radiation.  Post treatment she's had kidney complications and found herself having to deal with yet another operation to deal with that.  It's been nearly 1.5 years of hospital visits and processing through her cancer and yet, she's as positive and light hearted as ever.   As I ponder it, perhaps even more so than she's been in the past.

She is a woman filled with life.  Filled with a passion to grow beyond who she was yesterday.  Perhaps a brush with death will offer that perspective, but on some level she's always had this light in her.  She is an inspiration.

And my evening with her tonight only reminded me of the good, grounded souls that are out there.  The fighters.  Those working hard to make this world and themselves a better place.

Moments celebrating a ex-neighbour now friend.

Moments understanding that there are good fighters out there in the world.

Moments D467: Old Newspaper Clippings

Today I took to myself.  I slept in.  I lazed around and watched the rest of season three of Sons of Anarchy.  I took some time to sit with my thoughts, without action.  And then, I finally roused myself to clean up my apartment that had been hit by a hurricane.  (That took me a lot longer than I had anticipated!)   As I cleaned up my office area from post-exam mess, I tucked away my textbook and pulled out a book of poems.  I'm not sure why I grabbed the book.  I've never really understood a lot of poetry as I find it, at times, too abstract.  Having a more scientific mind than one of artistry, I find some poetry challenging to understand, and yet, I do enjoy it.  So, I flipped through my old high school book, I spent time with the prose within.

As I continued to flip through the book, I ran across a newspaper clipping that I had enclosed in tape to keep the three days of clippings safe.  Interestingly, I had completely forgotten about them.  A memory that slipped away from me.

The clippings were from my high school sweetheart.  He posted in the local newspaper a sweet message thanking me for the time we had been together and wishing me a very Merry Christmas and the promise of more.  Fitting that I tucked it away in my book of poems from high school and interesting that I came across it today, a day where I was licking wounds and cleaning up my space.

Coincidence?  Maybe.  Either way, it was timely.

Moments for yourself.

Moments from the past resurfacing to offer a smile.