Today I took to myself. I slept in. I lazed around and watched the rest of season three of Sons of Anarchy. I took some time to sit with my thoughts, without action. And then, I finally roused myself to clean up my apartment that had been hit by a hurricane. (That took me a lot longer than I had anticipated!) As I cleaned up my office area from post-exam mess, I tucked away my textbook and pulled out a book of poems. I'm not sure why I grabbed the book. I've never really understood a lot of poetry as I find it, at times, too abstract. Having a more scientific mind than one of artistry, I find some poetry challenging to understand, and yet, I do enjoy it. So, I flipped through my old high school book, I spent time with the prose within.
As I continued to flip through the book, I ran across a newspaper clipping that I had enclosed in tape to keep the three days of clippings safe. Interestingly, I had completely forgotten about them. A memory that slipped away from me.
The clippings were from my high school sweetheart. He posted in the local newspaper a sweet message thanking me for the time we had been together and wishing me a very Merry Christmas and the promise of more. Fitting that I tucked it away in my book of poems from high school and interesting that I came across it today, a day where I was licking wounds and cleaning up my space.
Coincidence? Maybe. Either way, it was timely.
Moments for yourself.
Moments from the past resurfacing to offer a smile.
Showing posts with label high school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label high school. Show all posts
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Moments D186: Paused Moments & Reflection
Today was another long study day, but I started it off with a moment set aside for me. Not for school, not for friends, not for family. For me.
I made myself a pot of coffee and a couple of poached eggs. And then, I watched the end of season three of Glee. It was 45 minutes for me. It was delightful and it was the best way to start my study day, for I felt ready to tackle the study day. That was a first for me. A pause in my drive for studying. Typically I would just dive into studying.
The reflection came from the finale. It was quite sad! And, it took me back in time, to when I finished high school. I realized, watching that episode, that I never went through the same process as most people do when they were finish high school. I left high school a semester early to move into the big city for a science school semester. I said goodbye before the end. And when I came back for graduation day, I was already separated from my class. It was surreal for me as I already felt like I didn’t fit in with all of my old friends. But I also knew that I had made many new friends. Yes, this finale shook me to the core. I was sad about missing that moment, but I was sadder still for lost time and the excitement of having one’s life in front of them.
I can rationalize that I still have much of my life ahead of me, but it’s not the same as that wide openness of becoming an adult. I know that I have had many successes and many failures and that together they make me who I am - I wouldn’t change any of that for anything. And yet, I think, in that moment with the show, I grieved the loss of time and the loss of direction.
It was, as a dear friend said to me, a moment to wallow. I allowed myself to sit with it. And then, when it was over, I shook myself and set to my path for the day. Studying. I have time. I have direction. And yes, while the former is limited and the latter is constantly changing, it’s not a bad thing. It’s what makes me who I am.
Moments paused.
Moments to reflect.
I made myself a pot of coffee and a couple of poached eggs. And then, I watched the end of season three of Glee. It was 45 minutes for me. It was delightful and it was the best way to start my study day, for I felt ready to tackle the study day. That was a first for me. A pause in my drive for studying. Typically I would just dive into studying.
The reflection came from the finale. It was quite sad! And, it took me back in time, to when I finished high school. I realized, watching that episode, that I never went through the same process as most people do when they were finish high school. I left high school a semester early to move into the big city for a science school semester. I said goodbye before the end. And when I came back for graduation day, I was already separated from my class. It was surreal for me as I already felt like I didn’t fit in with all of my old friends. But I also knew that I had made many new friends. Yes, this finale shook me to the core. I was sad about missing that moment, but I was sadder still for lost time and the excitement of having one’s life in front of them.
I can rationalize that I still have much of my life ahead of me, but it’s not the same as that wide openness of becoming an adult. I know that I have had many successes and many failures and that together they make me who I am - I wouldn’t change any of that for anything. And yet, I think, in that moment with the show, I grieved the loss of time and the loss of direction.
It was, as a dear friend said to me, a moment to wallow. I allowed myself to sit with it. And then, when it was over, I shook myself and set to my path for the day. Studying. I have time. I have direction. And yes, while the former is limited and the latter is constantly changing, it’s not a bad thing. It’s what makes me who I am.
Moments paused.
Moments to reflect.
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