I am often surprised at things I see when I watch people passing. Sometimes I am amused. Sometimes I am disgusted. Sometimes I am intrigued. Sometimes, the most rare of times, I am inspired. A moment where I find I have a little more appreciation for people; in general and for those close to me.
Today I watched a young man, likely in his early 20's as I was on campus, be a perfect gentleman to his girlfriend. He opened the door for her before she walked through. As they entered the building, she paused in the entryway and started to remove her coat. He offered to take her purse (a large name brand bag) and helped her remove her coat. When she went to take her obviously heavy bag back, he shrugged, shook his head no and flashed a huge smile.
With a surprised look on her face she grabbed his hand and they started on their way Here was this young couple walking along with the young lady without her coat or bag and her boyfriend, wearing his winter jacket, carrying both her coat and her big bag.
It reminded me of my own gentleman at home. EQ is that kind of gentleman. At first it was strange for me to accept such lavish attentions, after all, I'm a strong independent woman.
But I cannot tell a lie, I love that he shows that respect and tenderness for me.
Moments appreciating young love with traditional the behaviour of gentleman showing respect for his partner in small mundane ways.
Moments appreciating that it feels incredible to receive (and share) that kind of respect with the one you love.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Moments D732: A new Season begins
Today was the first real snowfall of the season. It's surprising given it's only November 15th. It is early. Some would say too early.
To be fair, wasn't much of a snowfall, but it was cold enough that it stayed on the ground - a nice light covering. It nicely juxtaposed with the orange of the leaves that have only just fallen to the ground.
To be fair, wasn't much of a snowfall, but it was cold enough that it stayed on the ground - a nice light covering. It nicely juxtaposed with the orange of the leaves that have only just fallen to the ground.
With the change in season comes a change in focus. I'm nearing the end of this semester and studying for my final (in only two days!). My focus this semester has not really been on my studies, and I'm certainly feeling the pain of that now. The time it's taking me to catch up only proves that point! (That said, I did enjoy my time with EQ this semester!) Studying this weekend has been a buckle-down-get-'er-done kind of weekend. Talk about focus!
The change in season brings another shift in focus. As this semester comes to a close, so too does a very large chapter in my life. Next semester, only 45 days away, I will be going back to school full time. It's not really my choice to head back full time, but I've reached a point in my degree where I am bound by a timeline expectation from the university. I am to be done my degree by December 2015. In order to best make that happen, I need to take five (yes 5!) classes next semester.
Talk about a change in season! My goal, if the powers that be allow it, is to work part-time and school full-time (essentially swap my time around!) I barely remember a time when I did five courses at the same time. I'm not entirely certain that my mind will be able to manage all that information at the same time! Fortunately I think my time management skills are 150% better now than what they were back in 1994!
It will be a change in season too because I will shift gears from immigration and jobs to planning for our wedding - just under 170 days from today. Our ceremony will be a small, intimate gathering. Regardless of its size, I want it to be a beautiful reflection of the amazing couple we are. It needs to be perfect....as perfect as my partner and I are together (which is not to say we don't have our faults! We're just perfect together!). Invitations, a dress, a bathing suit, a reception of some kind when we get home for everyone to celebrate with us.....yes, many details to flush out yet. I am eager to have time to focus on this frivolous celebration of our love. I love this man like I've never known love to be before. I look forward to celebrating us, without all of life's complications. It will be incredible to celebrate the depth of love joy we have with one another with those we love and cherish in our lives.
Heralding in a new season brings with it the passing of the old season. As many are now lamenting over the distant days of summer and the brevity of our autumn, I find myself now looking fondly back in time as well. There is a sense of fear to look forward to the changes coming. No, that would be a lie. I am terrified. I can't admit that outloud as that only makes me seem weak, but I am terrified. This season that is coming to a close has been comfortable. Even though it hasn't been easy, it's been comfortable and, for the most part, predictable. Looking forward, to the season that is on my doorstep, I fear the lack of understanding of what's to come. What will I be able to control and what must I let go uncontrolled and deal with it?
To keep it short, I fear failing. I fear the stress that is inevitable. I fear what that will do to my beautiful relationship. I fear what I will (or won't) be doing for work. And while, for some, my need to talk about my fears seems like wasted breaths, for me, talking about them helps to take away their mystery. Their power over me somehow falls away when I speak of them out loud. I think it's a way for me to help create and/or fortify my White Daemons. For me, not talking about the anxiety that is rising within me only compounds my fear.
And so, dear readers, I have now shared my anxiety at the turn of the coming season with you. It's another way for me to ponder how I'm feeling and how I will walk through the challenges ahead. I know that I am strong. I know that I will fight through the hard days and find the light at the end of this very, very long school tunnel. No matter what, I will get it done. (I always do!) But that doesn't mean that I'm not anxious about it.
It's going to be an intense winter and I'm not entirely certain I have the capacity within me to juggle as much as will be hitting me come January.
Moments feeling sad at the change in season.
Moments celebrating the season to come.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Moments D731: Your Grammy
Here is a moment I've been hanging on to. I haven't had the time to share it, as my two year anniversary post was holding me up!
Shame on me....I know, I know. But I'm back.
Forgive me?
This moment was inspired by a meeting between EQ and our downstairs neighbour this past summer. At one point in the meeting my neighbour complained that she's never done anything with her life, no Grammy, no accolades, no real awards to her name. I laughed and commiserated as I haven't collected anything of that nature either.
And then EQ was brilliant.
He looked over at our neighbour's little girl, laughing in the yard with her new puppy and then back at our neighbour and without skipping a beat said: "That is your Grammy - there is nothing more precious in the world."
Simple and to the point. It hit hard. Our neighbour was touched deeply at his words.
That was a inspirational moment. One worth sharing with many.
Moments watching a complaint turn into a compliment.
Moments seeing the bigger picture.
Shame on me....I know, I know. But I'm back.
Forgive me?
This moment was inspired by a meeting between EQ and our downstairs neighbour this past summer. At one point in the meeting my neighbour complained that she's never done anything with her life, no Grammy, no accolades, no real awards to her name. I laughed and commiserated as I haven't collected anything of that nature either.
And then EQ was brilliant.
He looked over at our neighbour's little girl, laughing in the yard with her new puppy and then back at our neighbour and without skipping a beat said: "That is your Grammy - there is nothing more precious in the world."
Simple and to the point. It hit hard. Our neighbour was touched deeply at his words.
That was a inspirational moment. One worth sharing with many.
Moments watching a complaint turn into a compliment.
Moments seeing the bigger picture.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Moments D730: Two Year Anniversary
Wow. I'm SERIOUSLY behind in getting this post up and out to the world. The last time I made time to add to the bottom of this milestone post, I was only a month off of when it was supposed to be posted. Now, now it's nearly 5 months late.
April 23 marked two years of writing my blog. If you believe me, I did actually start this post on April 23. Shameful. I know. From posting nearly every day for two years to silence for 150 days.
How on earth does that happen? I know it's my fault for not making the time, but I always thought I'd find/make the time "next" weekend, and....well, here we are.
First and foremost - I apologize. I've had a few readers reach out and ask where I've been. The long and short of it is that life has been busy and this entry was/is an important one for me.....I wanted to make sure that it was brilliant.
Why? Well, it's a milestone. This entry marks two years of writing my blog and I wanted to give it the respect and depth it deserved. The pause started with the fact that I really wanted to take the time to reflect on this moment. As I began to dig deeply into it, I realized I wanted to dig a little deeper yet and share that depth, after all, that very much reflects the point of this blog.
As I gathered my thoughts to share, I was slammed with life. My final exam from the winter semester. My fiance moving to Canada. My spring condensed class (aka 14 weeks of class in 7) started, finished and then began my summer condensed class. Add in some immigration shuffling, and a few ghosts into the mix and voila, I found myself buried with life. (It happens!)
Excuses, excuses. I know. I am sorry and frankly I have missed my self-reflection moments (almost as much as I've missed my morning workouts!). My moments to pause and reflect were like a breath of fresh air at the end of the day, even on the busiest of days. From that perspective, you can imagine how busy I've been. No real time to stop, pause and breathe.
Now, not only will my anniversary, milestone post not be brilliant, the delay of 5 months likely means not many will read it. Ah well, lesson learned.
Today, that changes. Today I finish up this post. Today I make a new promise to myself (and my readers I suppose, if any remain!), that I will continue with my blog, albeit not on a daily basis. As fall settles in (and I work away at my 35th class!), I find myself with much remaining on our plate for the coming months as EQ & I settle into our new life together. I hope, that we’ll find calm as fall turns into winter. (Hey, a girl can dream, right?) The point: I promise to not take another five months to post again!
My goal is to post at least once a week. When time allows, I’ll post more often (I do miss writing!), but realistically, I think once a week should be manageable.
Back to point.
THIS blog post is about a milestone anniversary. Two years of posts. Of course, I can't help but reflect at a milestone such as this, afterall, I didn’t know if I had it in me to keep dedicated to the goal I had set out for myself. The internalized goal: commit to write a blog-a-day for a year. That's all it was to be. A one year experiment.
My first blog dedicated to moments was inspired by my BFF sharing the "Book of Awesome" with me. It's funny how things get started sometimes! At first it was easy, but as my life shifted and evolved, it wasn’t always so. And then II hit my one year anniversary and I had a choice to make. Continue on, or stop.
Obviously, I chose the former.
So now to reflect upon this second major milestone in my blog adventure. The first question to pops to mind on such a milestone is: "What's the point to of all of this anyway?" This is quickly followed by has any of my words shared been helpful? To me? To others? Does any of it really matter?
I suppose, even upon reflecting and writing, I don't really have answers. It's all so very subjective. What do know, is that I've learned a few things during this experience. And some things I already knew have been reinforced by my sharing of words here in this blog.
I recently posted a summary of three things I am grateful for in my life on Facebook. Interestingly, I did this without really considering the blog posts I've shared over the past two years. You’ll see shortly the connection, but first, please indulge me to share my post from Facebook.
And that, I did. (In truth, he actually found me! Thank goodness for his patience!) EQ has been an incredible inspiration to my soul. No longer am I lost. I am now on a path of growth having been inspired by this incredible man to explore the world from a new perspective. I look forward to the many adventures we have yet to have. To have found this love, I am grateful.
This connection inspired me to dig into the statistics of my blog. You know me, I'm a numbers gal. I was curious to see how it all shook out, so I ran a couple of reports on my blog posts. Here’s a summary of tags from those posts. How incredible to see that my top four tags are about family, friends, EQ and love.
I was going to do a top 10 list, but then my favourite number is 12....so I went with it. It's a top 12 list. Here's how it shook out:
All in all, the blog sharing inspiring moments in my life filtered out to be about the amazing people around me. I think it's something that I've instinctively known for a long time - that people are the most important facet of my life, but now, NOW, I have empirical evidence. After two years of blogging about the positive moments in my life, it's my sweet love for EQ, for my amazing friends, my incredible family, and my ever fun and supportive co-workers & teammates. People.
So what have I learned in two years of blogging? Appreciate the smallest of bright moments, even on the darkest of days. And I've learned, or rather confirmed, that "my peeps" are the most important thing in my life. (This has been a standard answer in my arsenal when asked "What is life all about?"
Bottom line....share a smile wherever you can because we're all people looking for a brighter moment in the day. Share your words of love, respect and appreciation for the people you love, that respect and appreciate. Share the words more often than you may be comfortable with for two reasons (1) you never know when you might not get another chance and (2) we can never hear enough (or too much) how much we are loved, respected and appreciated. These are words of inspiration even on the darkest of days.
Much love and light you you, my readers.....my friends, my family and my dear EQ.
April 23 marked two years of writing my blog. If you believe me, I did actually start this post on April 23. Shameful. I know. From posting nearly every day for two years to silence for 150 days.
How on earth does that happen? I know it's my fault for not making the time, but I always thought I'd find/make the time "next" weekend, and....well, here we are.
First and foremost - I apologize. I've had a few readers reach out and ask where I've been. The long and short of it is that life has been busy and this entry was/is an important one for me.....I wanted to make sure that it was brilliant.
Why? Well, it's a milestone. This entry marks two years of writing my blog and I wanted to give it the respect and depth it deserved. The pause started with the fact that I really wanted to take the time to reflect on this moment. As I began to dig deeply into it, I realized I wanted to dig a little deeper yet and share that depth, after all, that very much reflects the point of this blog.
As I gathered my thoughts to share, I was slammed with life. My final exam from the winter semester. My fiance moving to Canada. My spring condensed class (aka 14 weeks of class in 7) started, finished and then began my summer condensed class. Add in some immigration shuffling, and a few ghosts into the mix and voila, I found myself buried with life. (It happens!)
Excuses, excuses. I know. I am sorry and frankly I have missed my self-reflection moments (almost as much as I've missed my morning workouts!). My moments to pause and reflect were like a breath of fresh air at the end of the day, even on the busiest of days. From that perspective, you can imagine how busy I've been. No real time to stop, pause and breathe.
Now, not only will my anniversary, milestone post not be brilliant, the delay of 5 months likely means not many will read it. Ah well, lesson learned.
Today, that changes. Today I finish up this post. Today I make a new promise to myself (and my readers I suppose, if any remain!), that I will continue with my blog, albeit not on a daily basis. As fall settles in (and I work away at my 35th class!), I find myself with much remaining on our plate for the coming months as EQ & I settle into our new life together. I hope, that we’ll find calm as fall turns into winter. (Hey, a girl can dream, right?) The point: I promise to not take another five months to post again!
My goal is to post at least once a week. When time allows, I’ll post more often (I do miss writing!), but realistically, I think once a week should be manageable.
Back to point.
THIS blog post is about a milestone anniversary. Two years of posts. Of course, I can't help but reflect at a milestone such as this, afterall, I didn’t know if I had it in me to keep dedicated to the goal I had set out for myself. The internalized goal: commit to write a blog-a-day for a year. That's all it was to be. A one year experiment.
My first blog dedicated to moments was inspired by my BFF sharing the "Book of Awesome" with me. It's funny how things get started sometimes! At first it was easy, but as my life shifted and evolved, it wasn’t always so. And then II hit my one year anniversary and I had a choice to make. Continue on, or stop.
Obviously, I chose the former.
So now to reflect upon this second major milestone in my blog adventure. The first question to pops to mind on such a milestone is: "What's the point to of all of this anyway?" This is quickly followed by has any of my words shared been helpful? To me? To others? Does any of it really matter?
I suppose, even upon reflecting and writing, I don't really have answers. It's all so very subjective. What do know, is that I've learned a few things during this experience. And some things I already knew have been reinforced by my sharing of words here in this blog.
I recently posted a summary of three things I am grateful for in my life on Facebook. Interestingly, I did this without really considering the blog posts I've shared over the past two years. You’ll see shortly the connection, but first, please indulge me to share my post from Facebook.
Three things I am grateful for today:
1) My family & friends: I know most people would separate out their friends from family, but my friends have become my family. (And ya'll KNOW who you are.) With every year that passes I am ever more grateful for my family. I had an incredible childhood surrounded by love, respect and support. From my parents to my extended family. That value is immeasurable to me. The friends that I now surround myself with, have become my extended (and sometimes not so extended!) family. I know, without a blink, that they have my back. They surround me in love, respect and support. I am ever grateful for that.
2) My health: In the past decade there has been many health issues around me from my friends and close family members. There may be days I complain about the extra 10lbs I should shed, the stress I am carrying, (or the rash that's cropped up because of the stress) or even the ache in my knee....but it's all so diminutive and pitiful in the bigger scale of things. I have been fortunate with my health. I can (and still do) play a mean game of volleyball, even after 24 years in the sport. I can be as active as I like. For this, I am grateful.
3) My soon-to-be husband: Once upon a time, I was lost in a life that I shouldn't have been living. For the most part, it was comfortable, but it wasn't fulfilling. I wasn't me. I wasn't who I needed to be. I wasn't able to grow and evolve and explore the world in a way that would inspire me to ever greater things. And then, I chose to leave that security behind in the hopes that I could find that inspiration.
And that, I did. (In truth, he actually found me! Thank goodness for his patience!) EQ has been an incredible inspiration to my soul. No longer am I lost. I am now on a path of growth having been inspired by this incredible man to explore the world from a new perspective. I look forward to the many adventures we have yet to have. To have found this love, I am grateful.
This connection inspired me to dig into the statistics of my blog. You know me, I'm a numbers gal. I was curious to see how it all shook out, so I ran a couple of reports on my blog posts. Here’s a summary of tags from those posts. How incredible to see that my top four tags are about family, friends, EQ and love.
I was going to do a top 10 list, but then my favourite number is 12....so I went with it. It's a top 12 list. Here's how it shook out:
374 Friends
163 EQ
146 Family
99 Love
74 Dig Deeper
64 Co-Workers
62 Dinner/Food
44 Surprise
34 Laughter
So what have I learned in two years of blogging? Appreciate the smallest of bright moments, even on the darkest of days. And I've learned, or rather confirmed, that "my peeps" are the most important thing in my life. (This has been a standard answer in my arsenal when asked "What is life all about?"
Bottom line....share a smile wherever you can because we're all people looking for a brighter moment in the day. Share your words of love, respect and appreciation for the people you love, that respect and appreciate. Share the words more often than you may be comfortable with for two reasons (1) you never know when you might not get another chance and (2) we can never hear enough (or too much) how much we are loved, respected and appreciated. These are words of inspiration even on the darkest of days.
Much love and light you you, my readers.....my friends, my family and my dear EQ.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Moments D729: Focused Treatment
Today's moment is all about my shoulder. It's been giving me grief for nearly 5 weeks now. It irritates me all day and while I generally get some relief at night there have been a few nights where I wake in the middle of the night from the pain.
I've been good about letting it rest. I haven't played volleyball in 4 weeks. That's torturous to me. I really, REALLY miss playing. It really hasn't been easy to lay low and let this craziness pass.
Today, I visited my favourite RMT ever. (Total side bar, but I've followed Sarah throughout her career. If you ever need a good, deep massage, Sarah is the one to connect with!)
Today's appointment was the second in as many weeks in the hope of killing this pain. This evening Sarah focused 90% on my pained shoulder and neck in the hopes of really digging in and working out the congested muscle tissue.
Wow, what a treat it was to have her so focused on my shoulder and its issues. We (well, technically she) dug into areas on my arm, armpit and shoulder that we've never before focused on. It was interesting to experience the shift in my pains and feel the muscles releasing. There was much pain, breathing through the pressure points and then relief. After an hour, it was amazing how much of the overall pain had disappeared.
While I was surprised at the time she spent focused on my should and neck, I was very much appreciating the relief post treatment. Sarah gave me homework to do to help keep my muscles stretched and open. The most interesting concept was "nerve flossing".
Yes, that sounds kind of painful, doesn't it?
But it's not, not any more than a deep stretch can be from time to time. This was the video I learned from to do my homework. So far, so good.
Moments appreciating some relief from my pain through treatment.
Moments being thankful for having the ability to seek treatment for my pain.
I've been good about letting it rest. I haven't played volleyball in 4 weeks. That's torturous to me. I really, REALLY miss playing. It really hasn't been easy to lay low and let this craziness pass.
Today, I visited my favourite RMT ever. (Total side bar, but I've followed Sarah throughout her career. If you ever need a good, deep massage, Sarah is the one to connect with!)
Today's appointment was the second in as many weeks in the hope of killing this pain. This evening Sarah focused 90% on my pained shoulder and neck in the hopes of really digging in and working out the congested muscle tissue.
Wow, what a treat it was to have her so focused on my shoulder and its issues. We (well, technically she) dug into areas on my arm, armpit and shoulder that we've never before focused on. It was interesting to experience the shift in my pains and feel the muscles releasing. There was much pain, breathing through the pressure points and then relief. After an hour, it was amazing how much of the overall pain had disappeared.
While I was surprised at the time she spent focused on my should and neck, I was very much appreciating the relief post treatment. Sarah gave me homework to do to help keep my muscles stretched and open. The most interesting concept was "nerve flossing".
Yes, that sounds kind of painful, doesn't it?
But it's not, not any more than a deep stretch can be from time to time. This was the video I learned from to do my homework. So far, so good.
Moments appreciating some relief from my pain through treatment.
Moments being thankful for having the ability to seek treatment for my pain.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Moments D728: When the quiet settles in
Today Heini came home from her family and duties keeping her busy since her father's death. I've kept in touch with her over the past week and a half and she's been strong and focused. She's been busy with the details and making sure everyone was okay.
And now, it was time for her to return home and dive back into her life.
And now, it was time for her to return home and dive back into her life.
EQ & I picked her up from the airport and as soon as she saw us I could see the tears in her eyes. She swore at herself for breaking down, saying "....for F!@* sake, I was talking about the death of my father on the plane just fine!"
But that's different. That's still somewhat removed.
Now, now she is home, being hugged by people she knows and loves. Now she's heading home to dive back in, as though things were the same as before, only they are no longer the same as before.
I don't know what it's like to lose a father, I am fortunate in that mine has fought through his various illnesses over the years. I can tell you being this close to Heini's pain has had me pause and think about that moment and it's one that I can not easily imagine. On some level, there must be a feeling of being lost. (At least for me it would manifest that way.)
Knowing that my dear friend would be struggling upon her return to "real life", EQ and I stopped in for one last check in with her kitty before we headed to the airport to pick her up. Of course kitty received the royal treatment, food, water, cleanup and some love. But we also left Heini a surprise in her refridgerator: A pretty bouquet of flowers with a card to remind her just how much she is loved, appreciated and that she was not alone.
After a tearful dropoff and an exhange of hugs EQ and I made our way home for a late dinner. Only a few minutes into our drive home did we receive her text thanking us for the flowers and supportive words. In her darkness, she was smiling.
Job done.
As the quiet settles in, I can only hope in the days to come that she finds a small sense of comfort when she looks to the flowers. She is not alone.
Moments celebrating the life of an amazing man.
Moments celebrating the life of his amazing daughter.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Moments D727: Ishtar (prounced Easter)
Today was Easter and, like most families on this long weekend, a chunk of mine gathered to enjoy dinner together. Unlike those celebrating the religious holiday of Easter this weekend, my family simply celebrated life and family.
I suppose that's what we've always done come to think of it. It's not so much about the religious holiday, but about family time.
Today we had rambling discussions about religion, life and death. Interesting given that today is Easter Sunday. But today's moment was when EQ shared the concept of Ishtar with my parents. Oh, that was a funny moment. Ishtar, is a Sumerian, East Semitic Akkadian, Assyrian and Babylonian goddess of love, war, fertility, and sexuality. There are theories that Easter has roots in celebrations of Ishtar, afterall What do eggs and bunnies have to do with a ressurrection?
Of course, we all fell into giggles as we watched my Mom's face turn from pink to a bright glowing red.
Celebrating fertility and sex - yes, that would make Mom blush.
Moments enjoying time with the family.
Moments sharing silly theories and lots of laughter.
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