Today I tested out the theory that a gift card, one purchased and paid for, never expires. As a shower gift, ten years ago, I was given a gift card that I never used. Why? Well, it's not a store that I am a frequent patron of and secondly, I likely misplaced it for a few years. When I moved, I found a lot of things that I had safely packed away. This gift card was one of them.
So, tonight, I used it. And though it took a bit for the cashier to process the gift card, all went well in the end. That was a pretty awesome moment. I wasn't convinced that a 10 year old gift card would work. It did. And that means that the time I spent trying on the clothes didn't go wasted.
Moments waiting in anticipation.
Moments when things go as planned!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Moments D470: Slipping Happy Secrets
Once in awhile there is a piece of your life that brings you such joy and happiness that you want to hold it close and not share it with too many people for one reason or another. I very much fall into this behaviour from time to time. This particular secret has brought me immeasurable joy, light and love into my world. I've been holding it close to me for fear that sharing the secret may jinx it. As time passes the secret has become ever deeper a part of my life and sharing it seems a lot less scary.
And so, the secret has been slipping out slowly, bit by bit.
In my blogs from the past week, I've casually mentioned that I've fallen in love. I know, I KNOW, that's actually a HUGE piece of information to share and I kinda just slipped it in there. But I'm not ready to gush knowing that if I gush may never stop! I can't do that to you dear readers! I highlight this secret only to be able to share with you how today's moment found to me.
Today's moment came to me from a highly respected and loved co-worker. He dropped by as he made his afternoon tea. I know he reads my blog, and I figured he would pick up on my casual mention of love. Sure enough, he asked me about it. There was no preamble. He didn't even mention my blog. With a big smile and a devious twinkle in his eye, he said,
And then the dam burst and I flooded him with information on my new love. {gush}
Moments being called out.
Moments sharing a glorious secret.
And so, the secret has been slipping out slowly, bit by bit.
In my blogs from the past week, I've casually mentioned that I've fallen in love. I know, I KNOW, that's actually a HUGE piece of information to share and I kinda just slipped it in there. But I'm not ready to gush knowing that if I gush may never stop! I can't do that to you dear readers! I highlight this secret only to be able to share with you how today's moment found to me.
Today's moment came to me from a highly respected and loved co-worker. He dropped by as he made his afternoon tea. I know he reads my blog, and I figured he would pick up on my casual mention of love. Sure enough, he asked me about it. There was no preamble. He didn't even mention my blog. With a big smile and a devious twinkle in his eye, he said,
"So, do I know him?" Long pause. "I'll bet I know him. Don't I?"All I could do was sit there and beam. Caught. I couldn't try to put my happy secret away even if I wanted to. My response was just as simple, with a (surely) stupid grin on my face,
"Yes, yes you know him."We stayed like that for a moment in silence. Smiling. Laughing in silence. It was a perfectly awesome moment.
And then the dam burst and I flooded him with information on my new love. {gush}
Moments being called out.
Moments sharing a glorious secret.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Moments D469: New Beginnings
Love is in the air!
This morning, before I was even out of bed, I had a fantastic phone call with someone dear to me. Lazing in the morning sunshine, I listened as she shared with me stories of her date yesterday. A date from out of the blue. A man who had recently, simply walked into her life.
I can see the seeds of love being sown and from her tales I heard the ever nourishing sunshine feeding them.
As we spoke, I was reminded of many a conversation I have had with her about not accepting anything less than the best for a partner. In all the days that I've known her, she has never been this open to accepting love because he (whoever he was) didn't measure up. This lovely gentleman, however, has already offered more than those I know before. I can also see how he may (universe willing!) be one to stand beside her, protect, honour and cherish her as I know she deserves to be.
I couldn't be more happy than to share that moment of giddiness with her. It was a brilliant moment and a beautiful way to start my day.
Moments sharing the giddiness of new love.
Moments celebrating new beginnings.
This morning, before I was even out of bed, I had a fantastic phone call with someone dear to me. Lazing in the morning sunshine, I listened as she shared with me stories of her date yesterday. A date from out of the blue. A man who had recently, simply walked into her life.
I can see the seeds of love being sown and from her tales I heard the ever nourishing sunshine feeding them.
As we spoke, I was reminded of many a conversation I have had with her about not accepting anything less than the best for a partner. In all the days that I've known her, she has never been this open to accepting love because he (whoever he was) didn't measure up. This lovely gentleman, however, has already offered more than those I know before. I can also see how he may (universe willing!) be one to stand beside her, protect, honour and cherish her as I know she deserves to be.
I couldn't be more happy than to share that moment of giddiness with her. It was a brilliant moment and a beautiful way to start my day.
Moments sharing the giddiness of new love.
Moments celebrating new beginnings.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Moments D468: Wounded Animal
In the wee hours of this morning, sitting in the fog of a day post-self-pity and self-flagellation I had a conversation that changed my life.
That in itself was a moment, because my world noticing pushed out extra love to me. And for that I'm grateful.
More importantly, the man that I have fallen in love with noticed. He shared ten small words packed with the protection of his love and light. Packed. Full. My eyes instantly filled with tears when I read them. A flood of intense, unexpected emotion ran through me in the brief moment that it took me to read these ten words. I realized, in a blink of an eye, that for the first time in my adult life, not only was I understood, I was being sheltered and given the space to do what I needed to do to heal. It was one of the most beautiful moments I've ever experienced. It's like that moment where pieces all snap into place perfectly without a fuss; or that moment where the clouds part and the full moon, in all her glory, lights up the darkness below; it is that clear moment where you know you have been changed. They are simple words, but their depth is beyond measure.
Sure. I know how that sounds. It sounds dramatic. It sounds unbelievable. Looking back, it feels like a dream, but I know, I KNOW, that it is real and I understand with more certainty than ever before just how beautiful digging deeper can be.
The long and short of it is that this week wounded me. I felt like a wounded animal, looking for a safe, dark place to hide while I heal. Being wounded, I was off. I had no light to shine and share. I had no energy for laughter. I wasn't my typically bubbly self. And it was noticed. My world noticed.
That in itself was a moment, because my world noticing pushed out extra love to me. And for that I'm grateful.
More importantly, the man that I have fallen in love with noticed. He shared ten small words packed with the protection of his love and light. Packed. Full. My eyes instantly filled with tears when I read them. A flood of intense, unexpected emotion ran through me in the brief moment that it took me to read these ten words. I realized, in a blink of an eye, that for the first time in my adult life, not only was I understood, I was being sheltered and given the space to do what I needed to do to heal. It was one of the most beautiful moments I've ever experienced. It's like that moment where pieces all snap into place perfectly without a fuss; or that moment where the clouds part and the full moon, in all her glory, lights up the darkness below; it is that clear moment where you know you have been changed. They are simple words, but their depth is beyond measure.
Lick your wounds, love
I'm standing over you
I understand.
I will never forget these words. Never before has the wounded animal in me been calmed as quickly and as succinctly. In ten words, I was accepted as my wounded self (it was okay!), I was protected (safe to share, safe to cry, safe to sit in silence) and I was understood (I didn't need to further explain and/or justify my actions/inaction!).
And in my fog, I had a celebration. One that filled me with a light that began to burn the fog away. Before I knew it, I was laughing again. I wasn't quite ready to sprinkle my joyful fairy dust around again, but I was feeling better. (Neither was I pooping rainbows and glitter, but that's another story!)
Moments accepting that you are wounded.
Moments being accepted that you are licking your wounds.
And in my fog, I had a celebration. One that filled me with a light that began to burn the fog away. Before I knew it, I was laughing again. I wasn't quite ready to sprinkle my joyful fairy dust around again, but I was feeling better. (Neither was I pooping rainbows and glitter, but that's another story!)
Moments accepting that you are wounded.
Moments being accepted that you are licking your wounds.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Moments D467: Old Newspaper Clippings
Today I took to myself. I slept in. I lazed around and watched the rest of season three of Sons of Anarchy. I took some time to sit with my thoughts, without action. And then, I finally roused myself to clean up my apartment that had been hit by a hurricane. (That took me a lot longer than I had anticipated!) As I cleaned up my office area from post-exam mess, I tucked away my textbook and pulled out a book of poems. I'm not sure why I grabbed the book. I've never really understood a lot of poetry as I find it, at times, too abstract. Having a more scientific mind than one of artistry, I find some poetry challenging to understand, and yet, I do enjoy it. So, I flipped through my old high school book, I spent time with the prose within.
As I continued to flip through the book, I ran across a newspaper clipping that I had enclosed in tape to keep the three days of clippings safe. Interestingly, I had completely forgotten about them. A memory that slipped away from me.
The clippings were from my high school sweetheart. He posted in the local newspaper a sweet message thanking me for the time we had been together and wishing me a very Merry Christmas and the promise of more. Fitting that I tucked it away in my book of poems from high school and interesting that I came across it today, a day where I was licking wounds and cleaning up my space.
Coincidence? Maybe. Either way, it was timely.
Moments for yourself.
Moments from the past resurfacing to offer a smile.
As I continued to flip through the book, I ran across a newspaper clipping that I had enclosed in tape to keep the three days of clippings safe. Interestingly, I had completely forgotten about them. A memory that slipped away from me.
The clippings were from my high school sweetheart. He posted in the local newspaper a sweet message thanking me for the time we had been together and wishing me a very Merry Christmas and the promise of more. Fitting that I tucked it away in my book of poems from high school and interesting that I came across it today, a day where I was licking wounds and cleaning up my space.
Coincidence? Maybe. Either way, it was timely.
Moments for yourself.
Moments from the past resurfacing to offer a smile.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Moments D466: Girls Night Out
Running on a mere 3.5 hours of sleep and emotionally drained, I very nearly bailed on my Friday. Part of me wanted to just pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all day.
I refused to succumb! I dragged my tired butt out of bed, drank a boatload of coffee, had an incredibly productive and fun day at work (we had a Mexican potluck lunch!) and then I freshened up and went out with some fabulous girls from work.
We went bar hopping on Queen West, from the Caddy (for dinner and an awesome bourbon caesar) to the Savoy for a couple of drinks, to the Church for a couple more drinks. From there we walked up Ossignton and had a few laughs along the way. From one wine bar with a bar full of gents shooing us away because they were closed for a private party (though the door was open!) to going into and then quickly out of another bar that had a strange hip hop vibe. We finally settled at the Dakota Tavern where Melissa Payne was playing.
Though I was tired and a little less lively than normal, it was an incredibly fun night out. Sometimes blowing off some steam is exactly what is needed.
Moments pushing through exhaustion.
Moments celebrating new friendships and girl power.
I refused to succumb! I dragged my tired butt out of bed, drank a boatload of coffee, had an incredibly productive and fun day at work (we had a Mexican potluck lunch!) and then I freshened up and went out with some fabulous girls from work.
We went bar hopping on Queen West, from the Caddy (for dinner and an awesome bourbon caesar) to the Savoy for a couple of drinks, to the Church for a couple more drinks. From there we walked up Ossignton and had a few laughs along the way. From one wine bar with a bar full of gents shooing us away because they were closed for a private party (though the door was open!) to going into and then quickly out of another bar that had a strange hip hop vibe. We finally settled at the Dakota Tavern where Melissa Payne was playing.
Though I was tired and a little less lively than normal, it was an incredibly fun night out. Sometimes blowing off some steam is exactly what is needed.
Moments pushing through exhaustion.
Moments celebrating new friendships and girl power.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Moments D465: Truth Sets you Free
We all have skeletons in the closet. One's personal history is not always easy to revisit, but sometimes, a lot of time actually, it is vital to do so. Being the person I am, one always looking to grow and evolve, I knew that I would have to share more about one particular skeleton than I ever wanted to. In the end, today was a big growth day. It hurt, but it didn't break me. Sometimes growing hurts; I accept that. Life is about the journey. Without the pains of life, we have less capacity to enjoy the beauty of life. I accept that Yin/Yang understanding of my world. And so, without further preamble, today's moment is about sharing difficult, dark truths and leaning on those you love for the light they shine creating a pathway out of the dark.
________________________________________
I've been quiet the past few days because I had a bombed dropped in my lap this past week. In a week that had too much on my plate to deal with, one of my skeletons rose its ugly, angry, abusive head. And I had to deal with it. I couldn't ignore it. And though I reached out to one within my support system, I swore her to secrecy. I then dealt with the situation as quickly as my jammed schedule would allow. I didn't share my struggle, my fear, or my shock with the rest of my support system. Fear and shame held me hostage - I held it close to me and suffered through the coaster of emotions. I hid from the world and more importantly I hid from those I loved.
Four days later, armed with some answers, I felt more confident (which does not mean I was confident, far from it!) to shed light into those dark recesses of my closet. I wasn't sure I was ready to go into those corners, but I was aware that it was necessary. Most importantly, being transparent with the man I love was necessary. So, filled with shame, guilt, anger (for finding myself in this position in the first place) and a touch of fear, I filled in the support system I have in my life. I really wasn't ready for the onslaught of love, light and support that I found enveloping me.
Those that love me were not happy with me for carrying this burden alone. Their first reaction was to express their disappointment and anger for my decision to walk alone through this. From coworkers to my best friends, the message was the same. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Amazingly (and maybe I shouldn't be amazed, as my friends are incredible people), their anger and disappointment quickly morphed to love and support. Their gentle reminders, words of encouragement and understanding began to lift the dark cloud of fear for sharing such a dark truth.
I'm still processing the darkness. As I sit in anger at myself, I know that I will need some time to forgive myself. But, sharing this truth; sharing this darkness, has given me a new perspective on my past and a breath of light that I needed to help shed the darkness. It's given me a new appreciation for that which I have learned. I've been naive. I've allowed myself to be used and manipulated. I didn't hear (I listened!) to the warning signs from my best friends. I had a path to walk and I walked it regardless of the warnings. I had a lesson to learn. I've learned. My dear, loving friends.....I. HAVE. LEARNED.
Moments digging deeper than you ever want to go.
Moments sharing truth and leaning on your loved ones and knowing that you are surrounded in love and light.
________________________________________
I've been quiet the past few days because I had a bombed dropped in my lap this past week. In a week that had too much on my plate to deal with, one of my skeletons rose its ugly, angry, abusive head. And I had to deal with it. I couldn't ignore it. And though I reached out to one within my support system, I swore her to secrecy. I then dealt with the situation as quickly as my jammed schedule would allow. I didn't share my struggle, my fear, or my shock with the rest of my support system. Fear and shame held me hostage - I held it close to me and suffered through the coaster of emotions. I hid from the world and more importantly I hid from those I loved.
Four days later, armed with some answers, I felt more confident (which does not mean I was confident, far from it!) to shed light into those dark recesses of my closet. I wasn't sure I was ready to go into those corners, but I was aware that it was necessary. Most importantly, being transparent with the man I love was necessary. So, filled with shame, guilt, anger (for finding myself in this position in the first place) and a touch of fear, I filled in the support system I have in my life. I really wasn't ready for the onslaught of love, light and support that I found enveloping me.
Those that love me were not happy with me for carrying this burden alone. Their first reaction was to express their disappointment and anger for my decision to walk alone through this. From coworkers to my best friends, the message was the same. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Amazingly (and maybe I shouldn't be amazed, as my friends are incredible people), their anger and disappointment quickly morphed to love and support. Their gentle reminders, words of encouragement and understanding began to lift the dark cloud of fear for sharing such a dark truth.
I'm still processing the darkness. As I sit in anger at myself, I know that I will need some time to forgive myself. But, sharing this truth; sharing this darkness, has given me a new perspective on my past and a breath of light that I needed to help shed the darkness. It's given me a new appreciation for that which I have learned. I've been naive. I've allowed myself to be used and manipulated. I didn't hear (I listened!) to the warning signs from my best friends. I had a path to walk and I walked it regardless of the warnings. I had a lesson to learn. I've learned. My dear, loving friends.....I. HAVE. LEARNED.
Moments digging deeper than you ever want to go.
Moments sharing truth and leaning on your loved ones and knowing that you are surrounded in love and light.
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