Trust. It's such a valuable intangible. It is something that typically takes a long time to gain and can so easily be shattered. Further, when trust is lost, it's even more challenging to regain. I've been on both sides of that coin.
Today, in the early hours of the morning, I had an opportunity to consider my ability to trust and the parts of my personality that make me trustworthy. Inspired by a couple of deep conversations last night and a longer-than-normal commute into work this morning and I had a lot of motivation and time to ponder the importance of trust and why it is so hard to trust ourselves sometimes.
I'm going to start with the latter point: What makes me trustworthy (according to me anyway!)?
1. Honesty: Being honest is not always easy. In times when honesty means sharing something that may cause another pain, or sadness, or even fear, it's actually very hard to be honest. The choice between the easy path (not sharing or tippy-toeing around the subject) and choosing to be direct is often a delicate balance. Goodness knows I'm certainly not perfectly honest all the time. I have failed (and learned) a lot in that regard. I now find myself in a place where my goal is to be as honest as possible with the kindest words possible. After all, we are all human beings struggling to survive, there's no need to be cruel.
2. Commitment: Keep your promises. Once I commit to something or someone, I follow through on promises made. Sometimes even to the detriment of my own needs. (Yes, a weakness of mine that I'm working on balancing!) Even so, there are times where I'm simply unable to stay true to my original commitment. To retain the trust, I take the time to communicate very clearly where and why the commitment breaks down and work towards a solution.
3. Loyalty: For me this is the glue. For me loyalty is about being reliable, it is standing up for what/who you believe in. If you are not loyal to the person you expect to trust you, how can you be trustworthy?
And finally perhaps the most important ingredient in being trustworthy:
4. Mirroring Trust Back: If someone is being trustworthy by being kindly honest, showing they are committed by following through on their promises and if they are being loyal to you, reflect the trust back. In my experience, trust breeds trust. It's like sunshine to a spring flower. Slowly as the sunshine becomes ever more present, the more the spring flower wills itself from the snow-covered ground.
Now looking to my ability to trust.
For the most part, I trust easily. This means that I am often disappointed when one of the four points above are neglected or worse overlooked entirely. For me, mirroring trust out into the universe means that I'm slowly shining upon frozen spring bulbs. Not all the bulbs are going to bloom, but those that do will bring such colour and joy into my life. In other words, it's worth the risk.
So easy to trust others and yet it seems so hard to trust myself sometimes? You know that nagging voice in your head that tells you this situation isn't right, or that person is taking advantage of you, or this is too good to be true. There's also that voice that tells you you are on the right path, that gut feeling when you look at something (or someone) and just know that it's right, that it fits. Why is it that I sometimes second guess the good and I ignore the warning signs?
HA! If I only knew! At least I'm more aware of it and can question it. And that's half the battle.
Today, cognisant of these thoughts on trust, I know, I'm on the right path and bottom line, I'm ready to fall and let the universe catch me. Why? Because it feels right. Because it fits. I trust myself.
Moments when conversations inspire deep thoughts.
Moments when digging deeper into your thoughts brings you to a decision.
Today, in the early hours of the morning, I had an opportunity to consider my ability to trust and the parts of my personality that make me trustworthy. Inspired by a couple of deep conversations last night and a longer-than-normal commute into work this morning and I had a lot of motivation and time to ponder the importance of trust and why it is so hard to trust ourselves sometimes.
I'm going to start with the latter point: What makes me trustworthy (according to me anyway!)?
1. Honesty: Being honest is not always easy. In times when honesty means sharing something that may cause another pain, or sadness, or even fear, it's actually very hard to be honest. The choice between the easy path (not sharing or tippy-toeing around the subject) and choosing to be direct is often a delicate balance. Goodness knows I'm certainly not perfectly honest all the time. I have failed (and learned) a lot in that regard. I now find myself in a place where my goal is to be as honest as possible with the kindest words possible. After all, we are all human beings struggling to survive, there's no need to be cruel.
2. Commitment: Keep your promises. Once I commit to something or someone, I follow through on promises made. Sometimes even to the detriment of my own needs. (Yes, a weakness of mine that I'm working on balancing!) Even so, there are times where I'm simply unable to stay true to my original commitment. To retain the trust, I take the time to communicate very clearly where and why the commitment breaks down and work towards a solution.
3. Loyalty: For me this is the glue. For me loyalty is about being reliable, it is standing up for what/who you believe in. If you are not loyal to the person you expect to trust you, how can you be trustworthy?
And finally perhaps the most important ingredient in being trustworthy:
4. Mirroring Trust Back: If someone is being trustworthy by being kindly honest, showing they are committed by following through on their promises and if they are being loyal to you, reflect the trust back. In my experience, trust breeds trust. It's like sunshine to a spring flower. Slowly as the sunshine becomes ever more present, the more the spring flower wills itself from the snow-covered ground.
Now looking to my ability to trust.
For the most part, I trust easily. This means that I am often disappointed when one of the four points above are neglected or worse overlooked entirely. For me, mirroring trust out into the universe means that I'm slowly shining upon frozen spring bulbs. Not all the bulbs are going to bloom, but those that do will bring such colour and joy into my life. In other words, it's worth the risk.
So easy to trust others and yet it seems so hard to trust myself sometimes? You know that nagging voice in your head that tells you this situation isn't right, or that person is taking advantage of you, or this is too good to be true. There's also that voice that tells you you are on the right path, that gut feeling when you look at something (or someone) and just know that it's right, that it fits. Why is it that I sometimes second guess the good and I ignore the warning signs?
HA! If I only knew! At least I'm more aware of it and can question it. And that's half the battle.
Today, cognisant of these thoughts on trust, I know, I'm on the right path and bottom line, I'm ready to fall and let the universe catch me. Why? Because it feels right. Because it fits. I trust myself.
Moments when conversations inspire deep thoughts.
Moments when digging deeper into your thoughts brings you to a decision.
No comments:
Post a Comment