Today marked the end of summer for most.
Today also marked the beginning of a new focus for me. My summer sports are over. My hectic social grinds to an eerie halt. School starts next week and I’m anxious. I’m sad that I haven’t taken a vacation all summer and my plans for a long weekend have fallen through. (Plan B looks okay, but the weather doesn’t seem to be cooperating with me so that too may be a bust.) My (ex?) wedding anniversary approaches and it taunts me to contemplate where I’ve been and what I’ve done over the past year and where I’m heading.
There is a cloud forming over me for I don’t have answers. During time I spent soaking up the last rays of sun today I searched for answers without much luck. My time lounging outside watching the birds and people pass failed to bring me peace. I feel as though I’m grieving. But I do not know what I grieve. I feel as though people see/perceive me as someone I am not. And worse yet, my words and thoughts seem to fail me today.
And yet, as I closed out the day, one filled with weird, raw emotion, there was a moment of peace. A moment where I knew it was okay to feel this way. A moment where I recognized this too shall pass, that it’s okay to contemplate, to reassess and to revisit. It is okay.
Moments of contemplation.
#moments #contemplation #sadness #path
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