Moments D563: Goodbye Tennis Court Nets

This morning as I left for work, I was marveling at the bright beautiful fall sky.  The bright yellow leaves of the trees, twinkling in the morning light were mesmerizing.

As I walked to my car, I saw the city workers.  They were busy pulling down the tennis court nets from across the street.  Honestly, I'm surprised they haven't taken the nets down sooner, but it has been a warm autumn; many in the neighbourhood have actually enjoying morning tennis matches even just yesterday!

So today, I am reminded that winter is just around the corner.  I know many will complain of the coming snow and cold, but I rather love the continuing shift in seasons.  I like to bundle up and tromp through the snow.

Moments realizing a shift in seasons is upon us.

Moments looking forward to the snow!

Moments D562: No Foy

This evening EQ and I tried our best to get into a very intimate concert with Foy Vance.  Today's moment is inspired by this tale.

We were recently introduced to Foy's music by a friend of mine living in the UK and Foy's work has very much touched us, both as individuals and as a couple.

How incredible to find out, only a week ago, that Foy Vance was playing in Toronto while EQ was here.  We simply had to get tickets.  Of course, the very small venue at The Drake was sold out long ago.

I searched the online scalper sites.  I posted wanted ads online.  I reached out to my contacts to see if anyone could shake out a couple of tickets for us.  Silence.  We even had a contact who works at the Drake unable to get extra tickets for us.  So, we did what any sane couple in love with the music would do -we went down to The Drake and hoped that someone would be selling tickets at the door.

We decided to have dinner there.  Our server was incredible.  He laughed when we asked for a "dessert" of tickets for the show.  With such a small venue, the hotel and restaurant were not party to tickets.  Sadly, we were not so fortunate to find anyone selling as the show inched nearer and we even tried to bribe the guy at the door to let us in.   No luck!

BUT - all was not lost.  I realized on our drive home from the venue that EQ and I had enjoyed a really delightful (unexpected) dinner at the Drake.  I've never eaten there before, so it was a new experience for me too.  His company and conversation filled my soul.  I also realized that I was more than content to enjoy Foy Vance's album on the drive home and share more love and laughter between just the two of us on the drive back and for the rest of the evening. So, in the end, even though there was no live Foy for us tonight, EQ and I enjoyed the moment we found ourselves in.  Sometimes that's all that really matters.

Moments waiting in anticipation for something.

Moments realizing that slipped expectations can turn into other beautiful moments.

Moments D561: Poppies V2

Today was an interesting day.  From first next steps, to an unexpected lunch out, to a sweet surprise just before leaving work.  Today's moment comes from that surprise.

Yesterday, while out for dinner with EQ, Comic Guy & Archie, I broke my new artsy, ceramic poppy as it fell off its pin.  Just my luck.

This early eve, my love arrived to pick me up at the end of the day.  As he waited for me, he pulled out of his pocket something in bubble wrap.  Eager to open my surprise, I unwrapped it with a gleam in my eye.

It was a perfect replacement of the one I had broken not 24 hours earlier.

I'm not sure if EQ realizes just how special that gesture was.  Now I can continue to enjoy my pretty, artsy, ceramic poppy, version 2.

Moments enjoying a simple gesture that shows much.

Moments enjoying a replacement poppy.

Moments D560: When to push, when to pull

Today's moment is a reflection of boundaries within relationships. The musing that follows is inspired by the fact that this evening I pushed a boundary of EQ's. It was necessary as we hit a strange impasse. This moment, added to the fact that a few of my close relationships have, in the past couple of months, seriously pushed my boundaries, has me reflecting.

Boundaries. When is it okay to push? When should one give space?

Boundaries. When do you grab on tighter? When is it time to let go?

These are not easy questions to answer. Why? Because each relationship is delicate. Each is important to me as I love my people.  In the end, every situation is unique and can, in the long run, affect those delicate relationships. The mere process of analyzing options to dealing with boundaries can be exhausting and, at times, overwhelming.

Often my boundaries are infringed upon, and, for the most part, I allow it, it is my own choice.  This process is further complicated by who I am. I am a bringer of light. The people closest to me have cautioned me of these infringements in the past.  I have always listened with an open mind and heart, but I believe that we all have the potential to be better loving people given enough time, communication and love. Call me naive, but I do. It can be exhausting if there is no energy returned. Today I am ever more aware of this and I've been reacting and growing because of it. I no longer want to own the disappointment or frustration that comes with having my boundaries crossed.  I am going to own my boundaries and allow others to own their actions and choices.  

I know.  It's a heavy moment today.  It's been inspired by odd, head-scratching situations that have cropped up because of serious shifts in energy and by gentle reminders from EQ.  And because of a shared crossed boundary tonight with EQ (and a subsequent discussion about it), I find myself thinking about relationship boundaries. 

What I have come up with is this:  I have been seriously pushing back at relationship boundaries these past couple of months because I believe I have begun to value my own boundaries with a more conscious perspective. It's partially because I have come to a point in my life where I am more aware of others absorbing my light and not mirroring it back. It's also partially EQ's fault, in a good way, because he's easily mirroring back the energy I give him.  In fact, there are times where I feel I am in a deficit situation to him, instead of the role I'm more used to (and comfortable with) of being "owed".  Today, I find myself questioning the silence, the lack of chase, for me and my friendship. So, instead of me chasing and trying to push and fix, as I normally do, I have decided to let go and see just what value I have in those relationships.

After all, as the saying goes:

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were. ~Richard Bach

Moments enjoying the push and pull of relationships.

Moments reasoning with oneself on life choices. 

Moments D559: Man Time

Today was one of those afternoons that you grin and bear to get through. A family bridal shower. I've never been a fan of them, and today's gathering was no different. It's just not something that brings me pleasure.  I'm more than happy to spend time with my family, more than happy to give a gift to the new couple, but I really don't want to spend 3+ hours cooped up with all that estrogen.  Why?  Well, most of the time I have very little in common with the women I find myself surrounded by, so it is typically three (or more) hours of trying really hard to find things to talk about.  And yes, because of that, the afternoon felt like it dragged on and on.

My moment, however, came post-shower on the ride home to the big smoke.  The long and short of it, my painful afternoon was a perfect opportunity for EQ, my Dad and Big Sis' husband to hang out for the afternoon.  In the end, this time turned out to be some serious quality man time.

No, that didn't mean they drank beer and watched football.  That being said, there was some Jack going around and football on the TV in the background, but what the men focused on was conversation with each other.  They had the time to have serious man talks, no other distractions, just the three of them.  From discussions of health to diving in much deeper into some of the big life changes they are all facing.  From the sounds of it (though I didn't learn about the specifics), tough questions and realizations were shared. 

As my Mom said, it is a good experience for them, knowing how hard for men to talk about things.  How true.  Especially with their partners around.  They don't want to be seen as so vulnerable in front of their partners.  Today, they were able to dig deep with each other in a safe, loving, supportive environment with one another.  Incredible really.

Knowing the depth of conversation shared and how things were relayed, I'm pretty certain that Big Sis' hubby and my Dad fell a lot more in love with EQ, and he with them.

Definitely well worth the pain of attending a bridal shower to know that this afternoon was a big relationship building day for EQ, my Dad and Big Sis' hubby.

Moments complaining about boredom.

Moments instead realized as quality man time.

Moments D558: Big Sis Digs Deep

After a day of volleyball, EQ and I headed into the Niagara region to spend the rest of the weekend with family.  Tonight was an anticipated evening, one where he would finally be able to spend some extended quality time with my "Big Sis" and her family.  

The first part of our night was spent just the four of us.  Shortly into dinner Big Sis' youngest daughter and her friend joined us.  The atmosphere was light and jubilant with much laughter.

As the evening wore on and the kids disappeared, the adults settled in with another glass of wine and later some Jack.  The conversation, inevitably, dug in a little deeper.  What was incredible, and the moment I want to share, is even though some of the subjects that we dug into were serious and deep, everything was coming from a place of love and support.  Serious questions were asked with a humourous tone.  Family history and secrets were shared with twinkling eyes.  With every turn in the conversation, I could see the relationship between EQ, Big Sis and her husband being built.  At times I found myself simply sitting back and watching it form.

What was most incredible was watching my Big Sis' openness.  She was open enough to go deep tonight and as the evening came to a close, I realized with a certain confidence that Bis Sis and her hubby were really enjoying EQ's company.  Tonight, I watched them fall a little in love with him.    A beautiful moment indeed and one that I can see happening again over the months to come.  A heart warming, soul fulfilling moment.

Moments digging deeper with family.

Moments building new family relationships.

Moments D557: Baby Brother Smiles

Today was my "little" brother's birthday. (Why the quotes?  Well, he may be my baby brother, but he's not so little!  I've always teased him that he could have shared some of his height with me!)  My moment comes from a brief phone call with him this evening.

I sent him a text early this morning wishing him a happy birthday.  His reply seemed a bit flat which had me sad that he wasn't feeling more excited and loved on his birthday.

After a busy day at work, and a fun evening out with Arizona & EQ to see Evil Dead - The Musical (SO MUCH FUN!), I called my baby brother to wish him happy birthday in person.

He sounded surprised to hear from me.  Good!  I could hear the smile in his voice.  Better!  He was in his truck on his way out for drinks with the boys.  AWESOME.

Even more surprisingly, we ended up talking the entire drive from his house to his friend's house.  The five minute chat I had expected turned into a deeper 15+ minute conversation filled with laughs.  It was really great to have the time to catch up with him and hear him smiling on the other end of the phone.

Moments to send birthday love.

Moments turned into sharing laughter and smiles.