Tonight I had my best ladies over for dinner and drinks. It's the last Saturday night of 2013 for me here in Canada and I couldn't resist spending the time with my favourite ladies celebrating each other.
It was a night filled with much wine, fun and laughter! It`s hard to filter down the awesome moments! That said, there were two moments that really stand out for me.
The first is an app that Heini introduced us to. Vivino. Wow. How much fun is this wine app?? I loved it instantly and I think the more I use it the more likely I'll end up buying the pro version. FINALLY a way to manage my fridge of wines! AMAZING!
The second awesome moment was when Bunny shared a bath time story with the group of us. It was of her youngest son pooping in the bath. Of course, there were rounds of laughter as Bunny acted out the scene. Shortly after the first rounds of laughter were dying down, I asked when her youngest had done this. Her reply? Just minutes before she had headed out to meet up with us! Another round of laughter ensued. And then we learned that her hubby actually picked up the feces bare handed. After a room going eeeeeeew....we all laughed again.
So much laughter tonight. Yup. Amazing time with the ladies tonight.
Moments finding an app that really is perfect for you.
Moments enjoying your friends in 2013 and looking forward to many more in 2014.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
Moments D585: Peace at last
Today my Grandmother passed away. She was the last of my living grandparents. That alone is a strange notion. After all, life is always moving forward. This now means that my father is the eldest of the family. Of course, that also shines a bright light upon his mortality as well. All the more reason to
For me, my heart is accepting of the news. It's partially because I didn't know her well as she and Grandpa lived on Manitoulin Island for most of my childhood and early adult years. It's also because the woman I knew has been gone for years, lost to Alzheimer's.
For my father, of course, that's a different story. As the current patriarch of the family, he lost his mother and the last link to that generation. Being the executor of Grandma's estate, he also found himself tied up with lots of phone calls and logistics right out of the gate.
The moment today comes from when I was finally able to connect with my Dad on the phone. I was a touch worried that he was in "get-the-job-done" mode and not really processing the news. So I tentatively explored that with him.
He's sad. There's no doubt about that. He's also relieved that Grandma has found peace at last. The past two years in particular have been challenging with Grandma (and for him) and it's been a painful, emotional ride to have watched his mother deteriorate as she did. I didn't realize this (because he shared few details when I've asked of Grandma), but Grandma wasn't eating solid foods any more and she's had a couple of terrible seizures in the past few months. In other words, there have been signs that the end was nearing.
For my Dad, he finds comfort in knowing that Grandma is at peace now, that she'll suffer no more.
For a brief moment, my father and I re-visited our opinions on euthanasia and how he hopes that he'll have to experience what my grandmother went through. He even shared with me that Grandma feared the disease that eventually consumed her and that had there been options, she never would have suffered as she did.
Nature took over and now she is at peace.
Our family is thankful for that. We will always celebrate the woman she once was.
Moments of death.
Moments celebrating a life.
For me, my heart is accepting of the news. It's partially because I didn't know her well as she and Grandpa lived on Manitoulin Island for most of my childhood and early adult years. It's also because the woman I knew has been gone for years, lost to Alzheimer's.
For my father, of course, that's a different story. As the current patriarch of the family, he lost his mother and the last link to that generation. Being the executor of Grandma's estate, he also found himself tied up with lots of phone calls and logistics right out of the gate.
The moment today comes from when I was finally able to connect with my Dad on the phone. I was a touch worried that he was in "get-the-job-done" mode and not really processing the news. So I tentatively explored that with him.
He's sad. There's no doubt about that. He's also relieved that Grandma has found peace at last. The past two years in particular have been challenging with Grandma (and for him) and it's been a painful, emotional ride to have watched his mother deteriorate as she did. I didn't realize this (because he shared few details when I've asked of Grandma), but Grandma wasn't eating solid foods any more and she's had a couple of terrible seizures in the past few months. In other words, there have been signs that the end was nearing.
For my Dad, he finds comfort in knowing that Grandma is at peace now, that she'll suffer no more.
For a brief moment, my father and I re-visited our opinions on euthanasia and how he hopes that he'll have to experience what my grandmother went through. He even shared with me that Grandma feared the disease that eventually consumed her and that had there been options, she never would have suffered as she did.
Nature took over and now she is at peace.
Our family is thankful for that. We will always celebrate the woman she once was.
Moments of death.
Moments celebrating a life.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Moments D584: Giving Thanks
Today was a challenging day for me on many levels. First of all, it was an extra long work day as I had an event today. It was an emotional day as I dealt with the final stages of letting go of a friendship. And it was an emotional day because my love was 3000+ miles away and feeling lonely on one of the biggest holidays in the states.
So very, very challenging.
When I was on my way home and I was asked to Skype into the Thanksgiving festivities in SoCal. I was tired from a 13 hour work day, but I couldn't say no to EQ. Besides, it warmed my heart to hear that my new friends from SoCal wanted to connect with me too. But, before I go any further and share my moment of today, let me take the time to introduce a couple of my new SoCal friends.
Sunshine-Unicorns&Rainbows (SUR) is an incredible woman, filled with a bubbling energy and positive outlook on life. She also happens to love unicorns....and rainbows.....and sparkly shit. I have no doubt that as we get to know one another more and more, she and I will become close friends. She is married to:
Say-it-like-it-is (SILIS) is a warm, witty and shoot-from-the-hip kinda guy. Honestly, he says it like it is. No shit. He also loves food. (hmmmm. I love food....) He and Sunshine-Unicorns&Rainbows are such a fun couple to have in my circle. The love between them is obvious and they are so filled with laughter and positive energy!
The other couple at dinner, I've met but not had a lot of time to get to know just yet, so I'm not ready to give them nicknames. (It wouldn't be fair!) Suffice it to say, that T&T are going to be a ton of fun. From what I saw tonight, they too are a fun loving couple. Bottom line, I was laughing and smiling so hard tonight because of the group dynamics. If I were there in person? Boy-oh-boy would there be trouble!
Back to the story of today's moment.
My love felt like a fifth wheel and was quite excited to have me home and dialling in. Me, I was worried I wouldn't have enough energy to share with the excited group of friends.
And then my moment of the day hit me. Once connected EQ walked me around the room to show me where everyone was sitting, I found myself excited by their chatter, banter and side conversations. There were quips and digs, and even a random hug in the background. It was perfect. The light and love that came pouring through from SUR, SILIS, T&T and EQ filled me with a third wind.
As we settled down, the first thing they had me do was pour myself a drink and then share with them what I was thankful for.
(Nothing like being put on the spot!)
But honestly, that's easy for me. I'm ever grateful for the family I have. Not only my blood family (but I am very fortunate to have the blood family I do), but I'm also grateful for those family members born of friends pulled into my deepest inner circles. I know I am lucky to have such a strong support system around me. Most of all, I am fortunate to have ever found EQ. How in the universe did we manage to find one another? He's rocked my world and I will never be the same now that I've had him in my life.
And in the end, I stayed online with them for over an hour. We shared stories of love and engagement. Stories of silly rumours and how two very strong, independent women became fast friends in spite of the rumours. I watched as they poured more drinks and continued with the banter. And, in the end when I hit my wall of exhaustion and I couldn't simply holdout any longer they were all very warm with their goodbyes and sharing that they were looking forward to my arrival in SoCal next month.
Yes. My heart was warm from tonight's Skype with new friends in SoCal. Great idea EQ.
As I reflect now upon the evening and in the vein of giving thanks, I can't help but circle back to how fortunate I am to have an amazing man like EQ in my life and for him to have introduced me into a new circle of friends. They are amazing people.
Moments pushing past the exhaustion.
Moments pausing to give thanks and enjoying the ample light and love flowing from holiday celebrations.
So very, very challenging.
When I was on my way home and I was asked to Skype into the Thanksgiving festivities in SoCal. I was tired from a 13 hour work day, but I couldn't say no to EQ. Besides, it warmed my heart to hear that my new friends from SoCal wanted to connect with me too. But, before I go any further and share my moment of today, let me take the time to introduce a couple of my new SoCal friends.
Sunshine-Unicorns&Rainbows (SUR) is an incredible woman, filled with a bubbling energy and positive outlook on life. She also happens to love unicorns....and rainbows.....and sparkly shit. I have no doubt that as we get to know one another more and more, she and I will become close friends. She is married to:
Say-it-like-it-is (SILIS) is a warm, witty and shoot-from-the-hip kinda guy. Honestly, he says it like it is. No shit. He also loves food. (hmmmm. I love food....) He and Sunshine-Unicorns&Rainbows are such a fun couple to have in my circle. The love between them is obvious and they are so filled with laughter and positive energy!
The other couple at dinner, I've met but not had a lot of time to get to know just yet, so I'm not ready to give them nicknames. (It wouldn't be fair!) Suffice it to say, that T&T are going to be a ton of fun. From what I saw tonight, they too are a fun loving couple. Bottom line, I was laughing and smiling so hard tonight because of the group dynamics. If I were there in person? Boy-oh-boy would there be trouble!
Back to the story of today's moment.
My love felt like a fifth wheel and was quite excited to have me home and dialling in. Me, I was worried I wouldn't have enough energy to share with the excited group of friends.
And then my moment of the day hit me. Once connected EQ walked me around the room to show me where everyone was sitting, I found myself excited by their chatter, banter and side conversations. There were quips and digs, and even a random hug in the background. It was perfect. The light and love that came pouring through from SUR, SILIS, T&T and EQ filled me with a third wind.
As we settled down, the first thing they had me do was pour myself a drink and then share with them what I was thankful for.
(Nothing like being put on the spot!)
But honestly, that's easy for me. I'm ever grateful for the family I have. Not only my blood family (but I am very fortunate to have the blood family I do), but I'm also grateful for those family members born of friends pulled into my deepest inner circles. I know I am lucky to have such a strong support system around me. Most of all, I am fortunate to have ever found EQ. How in the universe did we manage to find one another? He's rocked my world and I will never be the same now that I've had him in my life.
And in the end, I stayed online with them for over an hour. We shared stories of love and engagement. Stories of silly rumours and how two very strong, independent women became fast friends in spite of the rumours. I watched as they poured more drinks and continued with the banter. And, in the end when I hit my wall of exhaustion and I couldn't simply holdout any longer they were all very warm with their goodbyes and sharing that they were looking forward to my arrival in SoCal next month.
Yes. My heart was warm from tonight's Skype with new friends in SoCal. Great idea EQ.
As I reflect now upon the evening and in the vein of giving thanks, I can't help but circle back to how fortunate I am to have an amazing man like EQ in my life and for him to have introduced me into a new circle of friends. They are amazing people.
Moments pushing past the exhaustion.
Moments pausing to give thanks and enjoying the ample light and love flowing from holiday celebrations.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Moments D583: Making lists, checking them twice and cleaning it up
As I near the next chapter in my my new novel, I find myself making lists of lists to make sure I don't forget anything. Ever since the big shift in June, I haven't really been paying close attention to the details, I haven't really had to. But now, as things become ever more deep, it's time to really clean things up and prepare for this next chapter. Why? Because it's a big important chapter and much is changing.
Today I took some time to dig a little deeper into a post separation finances. Check. All cleaned up and ready to talk to my CFP about better diversification now that I have all the information sorted out.
Today I took some time to set up a checklist for my coming trip. You know. What do I need to pack. What do I need to wash. Which hat. Do I need sunscreen? Should I bring my tablet or just my laptop. Do I have enough supplements? It's a simple way of getting the chorus of things out of my head so I can better focus on the other lists that are more pressing in the short term.
Like making sure I have detailed out information for my kitty sitters. Oh. Right. Not so short term.
Okay, how about my checklist for Christmas gifts for my immediate family as I won't be spending Christmas at home with them. No? Still not short term enough?
Well fine then! How about a checklist of what to buy for my girls night in this coming weekend and a checklist of small things that I need to get done before they all show up? Yes, that's definitely more short term.
Today I also made a checklist of thoughts and ideas that needed to be shared with a friend of mine. It was one of the most challenging lists I've made in a long time because, sadly, it was filled with points of grief, frustration and disappointment. Yes, that's definitely a list that was long over due.
But at the end of the day, I feel more organized. I feel a little less burdened by the weight of things bearing down on me because I have sorted through it and know that piece by piece, bit by bit, I will check things off my lists.
And before you know it I'll be enjoying a cocktail on a cruise ship looking back smiling at all that I managed to get done in short order.
Oooooh how I love lists. Strange, perhaps. But, there's no denying their effectiveness!
Moments pausing to sort through the hum in my head.
Moments knowing that the future is mine to mould.
Today I took some time to dig a little deeper into a post separation finances. Check. All cleaned up and ready to talk to my CFP about better diversification now that I have all the information sorted out.
Today I took some time to set up a checklist for my coming trip. You know. What do I need to pack. What do I need to wash. Which hat. Do I need sunscreen? Should I bring my tablet or just my laptop. Do I have enough supplements? It's a simple way of getting the chorus of things out of my head so I can better focus on the other lists that are more pressing in the short term.
Like making sure I have detailed out information for my kitty sitters. Oh. Right. Not so short term.
Okay, how about my checklist for Christmas gifts for my immediate family as I won't be spending Christmas at home with them. No? Still not short term enough?
Well fine then! How about a checklist of what to buy for my girls night in this coming weekend and a checklist of small things that I need to get done before they all show up? Yes, that's definitely more short term.
Today I also made a checklist of thoughts and ideas that needed to be shared with a friend of mine. It was one of the most challenging lists I've made in a long time because, sadly, it was filled with points of grief, frustration and disappointment. Yes, that's definitely a list that was long over due.
But at the end of the day, I feel more organized. I feel a little less burdened by the weight of things bearing down on me because I have sorted through it and know that piece by piece, bit by bit, I will check things off my lists.
And before you know it I'll be enjoying a cocktail on a cruise ship looking back smiling at all that I managed to get done in short order.
Oooooh how I love lists. Strange, perhaps. But, there's no denying their effectiveness!
Moments pausing to sort through the hum in my head.
Moments knowing that the future is mine to mould.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Moments D582: Whispering Ghosts
We all have a past and stories that have shaped our present and make us who we are today. Some of those experiences are beautiful, joyful moments. Some are nothing short of horrific. Everyone has ghosts.
Sometimes the ghosts become our guardians. Those ghosts give us a sense of self, a sense of security and bring a smile to our faces. On the other hand, there are also ghosts that haunt us. Ghosts that whisper to us and convince us (sometimes without being aware) to act in ways that we later question our own behaviours and who we really are.
Today my "big sister" shared with me how she finally looked her whispering ghost in the eye and told it that she was going to fight back. Over 18 years of trying to ignore the ghost haunting her and how its whispers affect her perspectives on parts of her life, she is now ready to work on ridding herself of the constant taunting.
She shared with me how this past weekend shared the story with her children. I know only too well how hard it was for her to share this part of her past. An unpleasant part of her past that bore this particular ghost. I couldn't be more proud of her as she walked me through her story from the weekend.
Admitting that you have a whispering ghost taunting you is really only the first step. I know that there will be many a challenging day ahead for my big sis as she faces her daemon head on. It will be a challenge, but she is not alone in her battle. Awareness brings her solidarity. She is surrounded by the love of her family.
Moments hearing a story that warms your soul because you know just how big a step forward was taken.
Moments surrounding those you love with bright positive energy so that they can fight against their whispering ghosts.
Sometimes the ghosts become our guardians. Those ghosts give us a sense of self, a sense of security and bring a smile to our faces. On the other hand, there are also ghosts that haunt us. Ghosts that whisper to us and convince us (sometimes without being aware) to act in ways that we later question our own behaviours and who we really are.
Today my "big sister" shared with me how she finally looked her whispering ghost in the eye and told it that she was going to fight back. Over 18 years of trying to ignore the ghost haunting her and how its whispers affect her perspectives on parts of her life, she is now ready to work on ridding herself of the constant taunting.
She shared with me how this past weekend shared the story with her children. I know only too well how hard it was for her to share this part of her past. An unpleasant part of her past that bore this particular ghost. I couldn't be more proud of her as she walked me through her story from the weekend.
Admitting that you have a whispering ghost taunting you is really only the first step. I know that there will be many a challenging day ahead for my big sis as she faces her daemon head on. It will be a challenge, but she is not alone in her battle. Awareness brings her solidarity. She is surrounded by the love of her family.
Moments hearing a story that warms your soul because you know just how big a step forward was taken.
Moments surrounding those you love with bright positive energy so that they can fight against their whispering ghosts.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Moments D581: Fighting to grow
In life there are people I consider fighters. My definition of fighter does not include the type of angry person looking to pick a physical fight, nor the person who likes to be contrary or enjoys bullying others just to be argumentative. No....those sorts are just insecure persons unsure of how to better themselves. No, the type of person that I like to label a fighter is someone who pushes themselves beyond their own boundaries. I respect that, for it's not easy to get outside of one's comfort zone. It's not easy to fight against the rhythm of others and find your own beat.
But those that do, those that find their own beat to walk to, those that question and ponder and find their own path, those are the fighters that I admire. Today, I celebrate a moment spent with such a woman.
Some back story: A couple of years ago, she was my next door neighbour. We shared the front yard of a duplex and frankly, when I first moved in beside her our relationship was tenuous. As time passed and we interacted more, our mutual unease lifted and a friendship was formed.
Tonight was the second time that I've visited her since my ex and I sold the house. It's a joy to see how she has become great friends with the new owner of my old house. Every time I've seen her, she thanks me for choosing her over the "other guy" when we were selling the house. My ex-neighbour asked her new neighbour to join us for a spell. So she did and shared a glass of wine with us.
And you know what? I liked her. A lot. She's lovely. She loves the house and the neighbourhood. What more could I have asked for as a proud ex-home owner? After all, I remember the last moment I had in my old home - I begged the powers that be to have someone buy the house that loved it. I can see that she loves my old home. And yet, I felt a twinge when she offered to have me walk through my old home. No, I'm not quite ready to see the changes she has made to it. Not yet.
But I digress.
Today's moment is not about the new owner of my old home, but of my ex-neighbour come friend. She's fought through a double mastectomy last year, only to deal with chemotherapy and radiation. Post treatment she's had kidney complications and found herself having to deal with yet another operation to deal with that. It's been nearly 1.5 years of hospital visits and processing through her cancer and yet, she's as positive and light hearted as ever. As I ponder it, perhaps even more so than she's been in the past.
She is a woman filled with life. Filled with a passion to grow beyond who she was yesterday. Perhaps a brush with death will offer that perspective, but on some level she's always had this light in her. She is an inspiration.
And my evening with her tonight only reminded me of the good, grounded souls that are out there. The fighters. Those working hard to make this world and themselves a better place.
Moments celebrating a ex-neighbour now friend.
Moments understanding that there are good fighters out there in the world.
But those that do, those that find their own beat to walk to, those that question and ponder and find their own path, those are the fighters that I admire. Today, I celebrate a moment spent with such a woman.
Some back story: A couple of years ago, she was my next door neighbour. We shared the front yard of a duplex and frankly, when I first moved in beside her our relationship was tenuous. As time passed and we interacted more, our mutual unease lifted and a friendship was formed.
Tonight was the second time that I've visited her since my ex and I sold the house. It's a joy to see how she has become great friends with the new owner of my old house. Every time I've seen her, she thanks me for choosing her over the "other guy" when we were selling the house. My ex-neighbour asked her new neighbour to join us for a spell. So she did and shared a glass of wine with us.
And you know what? I liked her. A lot. She's lovely. She loves the house and the neighbourhood. What more could I have asked for as a proud ex-home owner? After all, I remember the last moment I had in my old home - I begged the powers that be to have someone buy the house that loved it. I can see that she loves my old home. And yet, I felt a twinge when she offered to have me walk through my old home. No, I'm not quite ready to see the changes she has made to it. Not yet.
But I digress.
Today's moment is not about the new owner of my old home, but of my ex-neighbour come friend. She's fought through a double mastectomy last year, only to deal with chemotherapy and radiation. Post treatment she's had kidney complications and found herself having to deal with yet another operation to deal with that. It's been nearly 1.5 years of hospital visits and processing through her cancer and yet, she's as positive and light hearted as ever. As I ponder it, perhaps even more so than she's been in the past.
She is a woman filled with life. Filled with a passion to grow beyond who she was yesterday. Perhaps a brush with death will offer that perspective, but on some level she's always had this light in her. She is an inspiration.
And my evening with her tonight only reminded me of the good, grounded souls that are out there. The fighters. Those working hard to make this world and themselves a better place.
Moments celebrating a ex-neighbour now friend.
Moments understanding that there are good fighters out there in the world.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Moments D580: Counsellor
Today I had my (16th!) annual Christmas dinner with two of my dearest friends. What an interesting evening it ended up being. None of us were really in the Christmas spirit, after all, it's early even if there is snow on the ground. I arrived to a shot of Screech and to the host setting up a roaring fire in the family room. What an incredible Christmas-like start to our evening.
But, soon after our conversation shifted from our catch-up pleasantries into what felt like a counselling session. I found myself in this world of sharing insights and ideas with my two dear friends each who felt a little uncertain with their perspective. At first, I felt like I was in over my head, but slowly, somehow, the pieces fell into place and I could not only hear each side of the story, but I could see where the disconnect between the pieces were and we united to seam it all back together again.
Before I knew it we were in the thick of deep conversation digging ever deeper to find solutions. Certainly not very Christmas-like! That said, I loved every moment of being the middle man for them and offering what I could for a different perspective on the situation at hand. I think I might even have been helpful too. Time will tell I suppose.
In the end, our annual Christmas evening together wasn't typical, but it sure was a beautiful none-the-less as we tried to solve the world's problems together. An intimate, emotional, give and take. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect evening.
Moments solving problems together with friends.
Moments expecting to be full of frivolity, instead filled with deep meaning.
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