There are days when you wake it's challenging to get out of bed. You REALLY don't want to. Maybe the day's challenges seem overwhelming, or it's simply a drab-grey day that warrants a "pull-the-covers-over-your-head" moment.
Of course, most of us don't have the luxury of heeding the desire to stay in bed. This morning proved to be one of those days for me. It's a grey day and I didn't get much sleep last night with my mind racing through many (MANY) variables in my life. When I finally did succumb to sleep, it was not the good deep sleep that a gal needs.
So yes, it was hard to get out of bed this morning for me.
And then, as the sunlight grew in intensity, I could hear the faintest chirp. It was solo, but it was a welcome sound. I listened for some time, as the single chirp was joined by others. A smile crept to my tired face. Yes, that is a sound I love dearly, the morning choir of birds praising the start of a new day. Given that there are fewer birds in the winter, it's always a welcomed moment when the choir of birds return.
Today was that day.
As I lay there in bed a moment longer than I should have, I let myself be enveloped by the sounds of chirping birds. Sometimes it still surprises me what can inspire a moment of calm in my often chaotic world.
Moments enjoying the sound of spring arriving.
Moment knowing that I still have the ability to pause and appreciate!
Monday, March 16, 2015
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Moments 736: Water? Electricity? Who needs it?
The last few days have been challenging ones! Oh, but what is life without a few challenges?
Saturday we lost the water in our apartment. Yup. Dry as a bone. Our landlord, he was MIA. That's the joy of renting you know, never having to worry about maintenance and renovations. (Sadly this is not the way it is with our landlord. With our landlord, it's a 2-3 week wait for a response on anything that needs maintenance and that's being generous. The last few issues that popped up, EQ just took it upon himself to fix!)
Tuesday (yesterday) the city came by to look into the situation - our landlord still hasn't dropped by to check in on his three tenants! The brilliant boys from the city, they found the problem, but they won't be able to fix it until two weeks from now. In the meantime, we've had permission from our next door neighbours to tap into their water and voila - water again!
And then, last night, we lost our electricity. DOH!
What is happening to our city's infrastructure? Falling apart I tell you. Falling apart.
But you know what? EQ and I had a good time with it all. I went out and picked up 12 gallons of water (the worst was not being able to flush the toilet!). We had lots of water (and still do actually) to make it through the week if we needed to. We hunkered down and worked on our projects (mine for school, his for work) and barely noticed that we were missing water. (Except when visiting the loo, then it was really, REALLY obvious!)
And last night, when the electricity went out, we didn't notice, we were already asleep! HA. Gotcha there infrastructure!
Moments feeling like you are camping while in the middle of the city.
Moments appreciating the finer things in life, like water and candles.
Saturday we lost the water in our apartment. Yup. Dry as a bone. Our landlord, he was MIA. That's the joy of renting you know, never having to worry about maintenance and renovations. (Sadly this is not the way it is with our landlord. With our landlord, it's a 2-3 week wait for a response on anything that needs maintenance and that's being generous. The last few issues that popped up, EQ just took it upon himself to fix!)
Tuesday (yesterday) the city came by to look into the situation - our landlord still hasn't dropped by to check in on his three tenants! The brilliant boys from the city, they found the problem, but they won't be able to fix it until two weeks from now. In the meantime, we've had permission from our next door neighbours to tap into their water and voila - water again!
And then, last night, we lost our electricity. DOH!
What is happening to our city's infrastructure? Falling apart I tell you. Falling apart.
But you know what? EQ and I had a good time with it all. I went out and picked up 12 gallons of water (the worst was not being able to flush the toilet!). We had lots of water (and still do actually) to make it through the week if we needed to. We hunkered down and worked on our projects (mine for school, his for work) and barely noticed that we were missing water. (Except when visiting the loo, then it was really, REALLY obvious!)
And last night, when the electricity went out, we didn't notice, we were already asleep! HA. Gotcha there infrastructure!
Moments feeling like you are camping while in the middle of the city.
Moments appreciating the finer things in life, like water and candles.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Moments 735: On fire!
I've officially been a full time student for a month now. It has been an interesting transition going from a full-time career driven person to a student. I've been an active working citizen since I was 15 and hey, if you include my paper-route, I was working, making money, since I was 11 years old. So imagine, having been a part of the work force for nearly 3 decades and then suddenly not being.
Yes. It's been an interesting transition.
But I have been enjoying it. I'm on fire with all my classes. Six of them actually. I only have 7 to finish off before I'm done my degree, so there is one straggler that I'll need to take this coming fall (but only because it's not offered in the winter!). It's so close I can IMAGINE the finish line. Only 72 days left before 98% of my degree is DONE. (Yes - I'm counting down!)
So how is it that I'm juggling 6 classes, marketing for a new book written by my most awesome guy and helping a friend out with his resume? Time Management. It's all about knowing what is coming, when it's due and how much time it's going to take to get things ready.
So what did I do to find balance in my new world? I created a spreadsheet. I know, I know, I get teased all the time for "putting my life" into a spreadsheet, but hey, it works! Six classes, colour coded with expected deliverable dates; it's a quick easy visual way to understand what is happening and how I need to focus my time. From that quick list, I set up weekly appointments detailing out all my readings and assignments that need to be done on a weekly basis. Whenever I have a spare moment, I have a textbook in hand reading.
So far, it's been an interesting shift. The first week, I was lazy about it. The second week I woke up and realized that this was real and happening and sorted myself out and started the "catch up game" with my list of "to do's". Last week, I started four projects, three of which were due this week and one big one due next week. It feels good to really dive in.
Yes, I'm on fire.
Here we go, blazing a trail.
Moments realizing that you have a new path.
Moments recognizing you are in the groove of that new path!
Yes. It's been an interesting transition.
But I have been enjoying it. I'm on fire with all my classes. Six of them actually. I only have 7 to finish off before I'm done my degree, so there is one straggler that I'll need to take this coming fall (but only because it's not offered in the winter!). It's so close I can IMAGINE the finish line. Only 72 days left before 98% of my degree is DONE. (Yes - I'm counting down!)
So how is it that I'm juggling 6 classes, marketing for a new book written by my most awesome guy and helping a friend out with his resume? Time Management. It's all about knowing what is coming, when it's due and how much time it's going to take to get things ready.
So what did I do to find balance in my new world? I created a spreadsheet. I know, I know, I get teased all the time for "putting my life" into a spreadsheet, but hey, it works! Six classes, colour coded with expected deliverable dates; it's a quick easy visual way to understand what is happening and how I need to focus my time. From that quick list, I set up weekly appointments detailing out all my readings and assignments that need to be done on a weekly basis. Whenever I have a spare moment, I have a textbook in hand reading.
So far, it's been an interesting shift. The first week, I was lazy about it. The second week I woke up and realized that this was real and happening and sorted myself out and started the "catch up game" with my list of "to do's". Last week, I started four projects, three of which were due this week and one big one due next week. It feels good to really dive in.
Yes, I'm on fire.
Here we go, blazing a trail.
Moments realizing that you have a new path.
Moments recognizing you are in the groove of that new path!
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Moments 734: Year End Reflections
Time does fly, doesn't it?
My apologies for the long delay between posts, but my oh MY has it been an interesting few week and with all the emotion happening, I really have not had much energy to bring myself around to a blog post.
Forgive me?
But now, as I find myself on the eve of 2014 departing "the now", I felt the stirring to share a moment with my blog. Perhaps the clouds are lifting and I'm more able to see the adventure ahead of me.
As 2014 comes to a close it’s hard not to sit here and reflect upon its trials and triumphs. It feels as though there have been more trials than triumphs, but I fear I may be a bit biased based on the most recent shift in path that I've undertaken.
Jamaica - what a beautiful family trip we had March.
Immigration & Visas & Work: Challenging and exciting and (who knew!) expensive!
Volleyball: So much volleyball this past year! How can I not love that?
Fires, Car Damage & Border issues...oh my! Yes, there were many big, disappointing, and heart breaking moments this past summer. All growth opportunities....right?
New friends: There have been a plethora of new friends who have come our way in this past year. This is truly amazing. I love the new energy and new perspectives offered. I can't wait to get to know our new friends ever more in the coming year.
Competitions afar: What an exciting weekend in Cali to celebrate the best of the best. Here's looking to 2015 to bring that excitement to Canada.
Cruising through Eastern Europe: In a word: WOW. What an amazing adventure. I highly recommend the trip.
Right. I lost my job. That was pretty painful, for a myriad of reasons. Completely unexpected, but hey, I guess 13 years doesn't warrant a real conversation about one's career path. (Angry? Yup. Still. I'm sure it will pass. On the bright side, I am looking forward to getting my degree done and the career adventures that await me!)
School: As of January 12th I will be a "poor" full time student again. It's been 21 years since the last time I was a full student. How crazy, right? But with only 7 courses left to finish my degree (FINALLY) it is exciting as well. Six courses this coming semester and one next fall. I cannot wait to celebrate that big finale!
Wedding Dresses, Invitations and planning: Yes that has been an exciting piece of our puzzle this past year. How incredible it has been to be dreaming of our coming wedding day and building the dress I'll wear. Next week, I'll be meeting with the dress makers to see who will make the darn thing!
Back to baking & cooking: With all the time I've had on my hands in the past couple of weeks (post work, and pre-school), I've had a chance to enjoy a couple of days in the kitchen. I love food and cooking, so it was a treat indeed.
But you know what? In spite of some of the most challenging obstacles that have come my (our) way, it has been a year of growth. A a year filled with love and support. A year of laughter and positive energy, even in the darkest moments. For this, I am grateful. Why?
Because in this moment of reflection, I am reminded how very surrounded by such beautiful souls. It's a moment to be grateful to all of my dearest friends, near and far. A moment to appreciate how loved I am by family and a moment knowing that EQ and I not only survived all the trials, but we were triumphant in them.
In this moment, as I ponder my year and look ahead to what is to come in 2015, I am ever grateful.
Happy New Year to all my readers! May 2015 be gentle, may it be filled with love and beauty every day for you!
My apologies for the long delay between posts, but my oh MY has it been an interesting few week and with all the emotion happening, I really have not had much energy to bring myself around to a blog post.
Forgive me?
But now, as I find myself on the eve of 2014 departing "the now", I felt the stirring to share a moment with my blog. Perhaps the clouds are lifting and I'm more able to see the adventure ahead of me.
As 2014 comes to a close it’s hard not to sit here and reflect upon its trials and triumphs. It feels as though there have been more trials than triumphs, but I fear I may be a bit biased based on the most recent shift in path that I've undertaken.
But, let's start at the beginning. Perhaps together we'll find out what the year was all about.
Looking back over the year (which is something I always like to do), it's been a whirlwind.
Moving EQ to Toronto - exciting, filled with love and adventure, but also challenging at times as we had much "new" to settle into.
Jamaica - what a beautiful family trip we had March.
Immigration & Visas & Work: Challenging and exciting and (who knew!) expensive!
Remembering Grandma & Grandpa: The end of a family chapter. This past year we buried my Dad's father....he's the last of that generation. What a trying touching moment when my Dad shared with me, with tears in his eyes, that he is now the patriarch of the family. I remember giving him one of the biggest hugs I've ever given him....and held it a bit longer than he wanted me to. And I told him, if anyone, he was the best in the family to hold that title.
Fires, Car Damage & Border issues...oh my! Yes, there were many big, disappointing, and heart breaking moments this past summer. All growth opportunities....right?
New friends: There have been a plethora of new friends who have come our way in this past year. This is truly amazing. I love the new energy and new perspectives offered. I can't wait to get to know our new friends ever more in the coming year.
So many CONCERTS this past year! Elton John, Christina Perri, Lady Gaga, Nine Inch Nails, KISS & Def Leppard , One Republic, Steve Miller & Journey, PTX, Jason Mraz, ALMOST Anberlin (if they were not caught in Buffalo in the snow storm!
Competitions afar: What an exciting weekend in Cali to celebrate the best of the best. Here's looking to 2015 to bring that excitement to Canada.
Cruising through Eastern Europe: In a word: WOW. What an amazing adventure. I highly recommend the trip.
Right. I lost my job. That was pretty painful, for a myriad of reasons. Completely unexpected, but hey, I guess 13 years doesn't warrant a real conversation about one's career path. (Angry? Yup. Still. I'm sure it will pass. On the bright side, I am looking forward to getting my degree done and the career adventures that await me!)
School: As of January 12th I will be a "poor" full time student again. It's been 21 years since the last time I was a full student. How crazy, right? But with only 7 courses left to finish my degree (FINALLY) it is exciting as well. Six courses this coming semester and one next fall. I cannot wait to celebrate that big finale!
Wedding Dresses, Invitations and planning: Yes that has been an exciting piece of our puzzle this past year. How incredible it has been to be dreaming of our coming wedding day and building the dress I'll wear. Next week, I'll be meeting with the dress makers to see who will make the darn thing!
Back to baking & cooking: With all the time I've had on my hands in the past couple of weeks (post work, and pre-school), I've had a chance to enjoy a couple of days in the kitchen. I love food and cooking, so it was a treat indeed.
Yes - a flurry of things.
But you know what? In spite of some of the most challenging obstacles that have come my (our) way, it has been a year of growth. A a year filled with love and support. A year of laughter and positive energy, even in the darkest moments. For this, I am grateful. Why?
Because in this moment of reflection, I am reminded how very surrounded by such beautiful souls. It's a moment to be grateful to all of my dearest friends, near and far. A moment to appreciate how loved I am by family and a moment knowing that EQ and I not only survived all the trials, but we were triumphant in them.
In this moment, as I ponder my year and look ahead to what is to come in 2015, I am ever grateful.
Happy New Year to all my readers! May 2015 be gentle, may it be filled with love and beauty every day for you!
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Moments D733: Gentlemen
I am often surprised at things I see when I watch people passing. Sometimes I am amused. Sometimes I am disgusted. Sometimes I am intrigued. Sometimes, the most rare of times, I am inspired. A moment where I find I have a little more appreciation for people; in general and for those close to me.
Today I watched a young man, likely in his early 20's as I was on campus, be a perfect gentleman to his girlfriend. He opened the door for her before she walked through. As they entered the building, she paused in the entryway and started to remove her coat. He offered to take her purse (a large name brand bag) and helped her remove her coat. When she went to take her obviously heavy bag back, he shrugged, shook his head no and flashed a huge smile.
With a surprised look on her face she grabbed his hand and they started on their way Here was this young couple walking along with the young lady without her coat or bag and her boyfriend, wearing his winter jacket, carrying both her coat and her big bag.
It reminded me of my own gentleman at home. EQ is that kind of gentleman. At first it was strange for me to accept such lavish attentions, after all, I'm a strong independent woman.
But I cannot tell a lie, I love that he shows that respect and tenderness for me.
Moments appreciating young love with traditional the behaviour of gentleman showing respect for his partner in small mundane ways.
Moments appreciating that it feels incredible to receive (and share) that kind of respect with the one you love.
Today I watched a young man, likely in his early 20's as I was on campus, be a perfect gentleman to his girlfriend. He opened the door for her before she walked through. As they entered the building, she paused in the entryway and started to remove her coat. He offered to take her purse (a large name brand bag) and helped her remove her coat. When she went to take her obviously heavy bag back, he shrugged, shook his head no and flashed a huge smile.
With a surprised look on her face she grabbed his hand and they started on their way Here was this young couple walking along with the young lady without her coat or bag and her boyfriend, wearing his winter jacket, carrying both her coat and her big bag.
It reminded me of my own gentleman at home. EQ is that kind of gentleman. At first it was strange for me to accept such lavish attentions, after all, I'm a strong independent woman.
But I cannot tell a lie, I love that he shows that respect and tenderness for me.
Moments appreciating young love with traditional the behaviour of gentleman showing respect for his partner in small mundane ways.
Moments appreciating that it feels incredible to receive (and share) that kind of respect with the one you love.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Moments D732: A new Season begins
Today was the first real snowfall of the season. It's surprising given it's only November 15th. It is early. Some would say too early.
To be fair, wasn't much of a snowfall, but it was cold enough that it stayed on the ground - a nice light covering. It nicely juxtaposed with the orange of the leaves that have only just fallen to the ground.
To be fair, wasn't much of a snowfall, but it was cold enough that it stayed on the ground - a nice light covering. It nicely juxtaposed with the orange of the leaves that have only just fallen to the ground.
With the change in season comes a change in focus. I'm nearing the end of this semester and studying for my final (in only two days!). My focus this semester has not really been on my studies, and I'm certainly feeling the pain of that now. The time it's taking me to catch up only proves that point! (That said, I did enjoy my time with EQ this semester!) Studying this weekend has been a buckle-down-get-'er-done kind of weekend. Talk about focus!
The change in season brings another shift in focus. As this semester comes to a close, so too does a very large chapter in my life. Next semester, only 45 days away, I will be going back to school full time. It's not really my choice to head back full time, but I've reached a point in my degree where I am bound by a timeline expectation from the university. I am to be done my degree by December 2015. In order to best make that happen, I need to take five (yes 5!) classes next semester.
Talk about a change in season! My goal, if the powers that be allow it, is to work part-time and school full-time (essentially swap my time around!) I barely remember a time when I did five courses at the same time. I'm not entirely certain that my mind will be able to manage all that information at the same time! Fortunately I think my time management skills are 150% better now than what they were back in 1994!
It will be a change in season too because I will shift gears from immigration and jobs to planning for our wedding - just under 170 days from today. Our ceremony will be a small, intimate gathering. Regardless of its size, I want it to be a beautiful reflection of the amazing couple we are. It needs to be perfect....as perfect as my partner and I are together (which is not to say we don't have our faults! We're just perfect together!). Invitations, a dress, a bathing suit, a reception of some kind when we get home for everyone to celebrate with us.....yes, many details to flush out yet. I am eager to have time to focus on this frivolous celebration of our love. I love this man like I've never known love to be before. I look forward to celebrating us, without all of life's complications. It will be incredible to celebrate the depth of love joy we have with one another with those we love and cherish in our lives.
Heralding in a new season brings with it the passing of the old season. As many are now lamenting over the distant days of summer and the brevity of our autumn, I find myself now looking fondly back in time as well. There is a sense of fear to look forward to the changes coming. No, that would be a lie. I am terrified. I can't admit that outloud as that only makes me seem weak, but I am terrified. This season that is coming to a close has been comfortable. Even though it hasn't been easy, it's been comfortable and, for the most part, predictable. Looking forward, to the season that is on my doorstep, I fear the lack of understanding of what's to come. What will I be able to control and what must I let go uncontrolled and deal with it?
To keep it short, I fear failing. I fear the stress that is inevitable. I fear what that will do to my beautiful relationship. I fear what I will (or won't) be doing for work. And while, for some, my need to talk about my fears seems like wasted breaths, for me, talking about them helps to take away their mystery. Their power over me somehow falls away when I speak of them out loud. I think it's a way for me to help create and/or fortify my White Daemons. For me, not talking about the anxiety that is rising within me only compounds my fear.
And so, dear readers, I have now shared my anxiety at the turn of the coming season with you. It's another way for me to ponder how I'm feeling and how I will walk through the challenges ahead. I know that I am strong. I know that I will fight through the hard days and find the light at the end of this very, very long school tunnel. No matter what, I will get it done. (I always do!) But that doesn't mean that I'm not anxious about it.
It's going to be an intense winter and I'm not entirely certain I have the capacity within me to juggle as much as will be hitting me come January.
Moments feeling sad at the change in season.
Moments celebrating the season to come.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Moments D731: Your Grammy
Here is a moment I've been hanging on to. I haven't had the time to share it, as my two year anniversary post was holding me up!
Shame on me....I know, I know. But I'm back.
Forgive me?
This moment was inspired by a meeting between EQ and our downstairs neighbour this past summer. At one point in the meeting my neighbour complained that she's never done anything with her life, no Grammy, no accolades, no real awards to her name. I laughed and commiserated as I haven't collected anything of that nature either.
And then EQ was brilliant.
He looked over at our neighbour's little girl, laughing in the yard with her new puppy and then back at our neighbour and without skipping a beat said: "That is your Grammy - there is nothing more precious in the world."
Simple and to the point. It hit hard. Our neighbour was touched deeply at his words.
That was a inspirational moment. One worth sharing with many.
Moments watching a complaint turn into a compliment.
Moments seeing the bigger picture.
Shame on me....I know, I know. But I'm back.
Forgive me?
This moment was inspired by a meeting between EQ and our downstairs neighbour this past summer. At one point in the meeting my neighbour complained that she's never done anything with her life, no Grammy, no accolades, no real awards to her name. I laughed and commiserated as I haven't collected anything of that nature either.
And then EQ was brilliant.
He looked over at our neighbour's little girl, laughing in the yard with her new puppy and then back at our neighbour and without skipping a beat said: "That is your Grammy - there is nothing more precious in the world."
Simple and to the point. It hit hard. Our neighbour was touched deeply at his words.
That was a inspirational moment. One worth sharing with many.
Moments watching a complaint turn into a compliment.
Moments seeing the bigger picture.
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