Yesterday my cell phone fried, not literally, but figuratively anyway. It rebooted itself and when it restarted it was fully reformatted and buggy. {sigh}
Today I spent most of my day trying to figure out what happened. While I lost all my texting history, my phone contacts and the memos and diary entries stored locally on my phone, I did NOT lose any of my photographs or video. So, while I was upset in losing my memos & diary entries, I was glad that I hadn’t lost my photographs and video. A bit of good and bad feelings mixed all together!
In the end, I had to completely wipe my phone (reformat it officially) which meant backing up my photos/videos and setting the phone back to it’s factory settings. Hours later, my phone was set up all over again complete with apps, widgets and the ability to back up texting & memos (but not the diary). Success within defeat.
It got me thinking. A fresh start. My phone had stored all sorts of old history and information in it. Some (most) of that stuff was from a previous lifetime. Texts from my ex; diary entries about my Dad’s hospital visit; photos from trips pre-separation etc. My phone is now a clean slate. It’s an opportunity for me to truly start afresh. No more casual glances at a past life - I’ll have to work much harder to do that now by turning on my desktop at home (where my backups are). Honestly - how often will I do that? Not very. But when the information was on my phone, it happened. It happened more often than it probably should have, after all I have this need to re-visit situations/times and really get a feel for how I’m feeling NOW about things that happened THEN. Sometimes that’s important, but sometimes, it’s just torturous. I think the universe stepped in and said “ENOUGH!” And so, I celebrate a fresh start. A chance to fill my phone with new moments.
In the same vein as this concept of starting fresh, I had an unexpected visitor tonight after volleyball as well. He is a dear friend to me and we’ve had our differences over the time we’ve known one another, but, like my phone, I was feeling like it was time to have a fresh start. It was good to finally be in that place. Shed the past. Shed the misunderstandings.
Moments to start fresh. I wonder where this will take me. Stay tuned!
Monday, August 13, 2012
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Moments D110: Lazy Laughter, Deep Conversation
Today I slept in as I haven’t in a very long time, but I suppose that could be because I didn’t crawl into bed until 6am! I guess it’s all relative, isn’t it? I still only had 5.5 hours of sleep!
The afternoon filled in with lazy laughs with my friends (new & old) as we commiserated over the headaches, the dishes and the bottles. As the day wore on and the group thinned out it was just my dearest friend and I. The lighthearted laughter turned to serious conversation.
Why? Well, we’ve both had our share of intense growth moments this past 6-9 months. With a milestone birthday, it’s easy to fall into reflection of the past year, of friends who have moved on, lovers who have moved on (or struggled with), career choices and lifestyle choices. Deep conversations. Every soul needs those moments to explore and learn about self.
Later that evening, the theme of deep conversation continued with another special person in my life. It’s amazing how deep one can get in a time of pure reflection of self. It’s like the clouds part and the sun shines upon issues/people/situations that are of the utmost importance to you. All other concerns fall by the wayside.
So today’s moment? A celebration of laughter and deep conversations.
#moments #friends #Girlfriends #Dig Deeper #soul #laughter
The afternoon filled in with lazy laughs with my friends (new & old) as we commiserated over the headaches, the dishes and the bottles. As the day wore on and the group thinned out it was just my dearest friend and I. The lighthearted laughter turned to serious conversation.
Why? Well, we’ve both had our share of intense growth moments this past 6-9 months. With a milestone birthday, it’s easy to fall into reflection of the past year, of friends who have moved on, lovers who have moved on (or struggled with), career choices and lifestyle choices. Deep conversations. Every soul needs those moments to explore and learn about self.
Later that evening, the theme of deep conversation continued with another special person in my life. It’s amazing how deep one can get in a time of pure reflection of self. It’s like the clouds part and the sun shines upon issues/people/situations that are of the utmost importance to you. All other concerns fall by the wayside.
So today’s moment? A celebration of laughter and deep conversations.
#moments #friends #Girlfriends #Dig Deeper #soul #laughter
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Moments D109: New Friends, Old Stories
Today was a big birthday celebration! The BBQ was a huge success full of love, laughter, tasty food and great conversation. It’s difficult to chose one special moment of the day as there were simply so many! (Yes I am fortunate to be surrounded by such energy!)
But there is one moment that stands out (a bit) for me. It was the moment, later into the evening when the last sprinkling of party guests were enjoying their conversations and drink. It was when the newly wed asked me about my recent separation and how that came to be.
Now, I’ve only met this gentleman once before this particular evening. It as at a family friend’s cottage and while he was a bit vocal at the cottage, he was on his “adult/family” behaviour. At the BBQ party, he was a lot more vocal, more opinionated and much more amusing with with his interactions. This was a moment where all of a sudden he was serious and grounded. This was a moment where I had a sneak peek to his softer side. The side where he was sensitive and caring. It was a strange digression from his “party self”.
For me the moment stands out because he took the time to ask questions about my Mom and later about my Dad. He took the time to ask me the “whys” and “hows” of the process. And bottom line, he wanted to know (and he asked me quite loudly and assertively) “Well, f**K, are you HAPPY now at least?” There was a tone of amusement in his voice, but I knew, given the rest of the conversation that he really did want to know the answer.
Fortunately, I AM happier, and it was a quick and easy thought to share. We toasted happiness and drained our drinks.
Yes, a great moment indeed.
Moments of new friends and getting to know them better.
Moments of sharing old stories more concisely. AND better understanding the depth of those stories.
But there is one moment that stands out (a bit) for me. It was the moment, later into the evening when the last sprinkling of party guests were enjoying their conversations and drink. It was when the newly wed asked me about my recent separation and how that came to be.
Now, I’ve only met this gentleman once before this particular evening. It as at a family friend’s cottage and while he was a bit vocal at the cottage, he was on his “adult/family” behaviour. At the BBQ party, he was a lot more vocal, more opinionated and much more amusing with with his interactions. This was a moment where all of a sudden he was serious and grounded. This was a moment where I had a sneak peek to his softer side. The side where he was sensitive and caring. It was a strange digression from his “party self”.
For me the moment stands out because he took the time to ask questions about my Mom and later about my Dad. He took the time to ask me the “whys” and “hows” of the process. And bottom line, he wanted to know (and he asked me quite loudly and assertively) “Well, f**K, are you HAPPY now at least?” There was a tone of amusement in his voice, but I knew, given the rest of the conversation that he really did want to know the answer.
Fortunately, I AM happier, and it was a quick and easy thought to share. We toasted happiness and drained our drinks.
Yes, a great moment indeed.
Moments of new friends and getting to know them better.
Moments of sharing old stories more concisely. AND better understanding the depth of those stories.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Moments D108: Dry Lightening
Today was a very special day as it was one of my besties’ birthday. It’s not really significant that it was a milestone birthday (at least not for me), but it was incredibly meaningful for me to have spent her birthday evening with her.
It was just the two of us. We shared a bottle of wine and good conversation before dinner. We puttered about and prepared for the following day’s BBQ party. We shared another bottle of wine. We shared a bourbon (ah, Bulleit!) and we watched a lightening storm.
There was no rain. There was no thunder (audible to our ears). It was dry, dark and striking. The sky flickered. It taunted. Was the storm coming or going? The sky flashed, definitely coming….then it calmed….definitely going. Then it twinkled, the kind of lightening that dances in the clouds but never leaves them to touch the ground. It was a delightful show. We watched, at times, in complete silence just absorbing the view and energy in the air.
It was such a peaceful, beautiful moment to share with my best friend on her very special day. I feel fortunate to have been a part of that moment.
Moments with friends.
Moments in nature.
It was just the two of us. We shared a bottle of wine and good conversation before dinner. We puttered about and prepared for the following day’s BBQ party. We shared another bottle of wine. We shared a bourbon (ah, Bulleit!) and we watched a lightening storm.
There was no rain. There was no thunder (audible to our ears). It was dry, dark and striking. The sky flickered. It taunted. Was the storm coming or going? The sky flashed, definitely coming….then it calmed….definitely going. Then it twinkled, the kind of lightening that dances in the clouds but never leaves them to touch the ground. It was a delightful show. We watched, at times, in complete silence just absorbing the view and energy in the air.
It was such a peaceful, beautiful moment to share with my best friend on her very special day. I feel fortunate to have been a part of that moment.
Moments with friends.
Moments in nature.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Moments D107: Baseball in the Rain
Today’s bigger, deeper soul moment was about love & light. But there was also a smaller, yet also quite meaningful moment that happened today as well that I feel must be shared.
Today it rained most of the day. It wasn’t a pretty day, but it was still one filled with love. After work I had an early baseball game. It was still raining when I left the office for the field. I simply was NOT looking forward to playing in the rain. (We are only cancelled out if there is thunder and lightening.) I might even admit I was a bit grumpy about it, but being a team player, I wasn’t about to bail.
And then, something magical happened. Upon arrival at the field I was greeted by two smiling team mates. We warmed up in the rain. I got a soaker. We laughed. I was made fun of. We laughed some more.
And soon I forgot about the fact the rain. It was a drizzle for most of our game, but it turned out to be fun and silly….
It was a great game. Not only because we won, but because our team had much fun together. It was the first time during our season where I felt more me than ever. I was quirky and silly. I cheered when I would have otherwise felt to shy to do so.
Moments of revelation.
Moments of camaraderie.
Moments of friends.
Moments of silliness and laughter. (but no mud as expected!)
Today it rained most of the day. It wasn’t a pretty day, but it was still one filled with love. After work I had an early baseball game. It was still raining when I left the office for the field. I simply was NOT looking forward to playing in the rain. (We are only cancelled out if there is thunder and lightening.) I might even admit I was a bit grumpy about it, but being a team player, I wasn’t about to bail.
And then, something magical happened. Upon arrival at the field I was greeted by two smiling team mates. We warmed up in the rain. I got a soaker. We laughed. I was made fun of. We laughed some more.
And soon I forgot about the fact the rain. It was a drizzle for most of our game, but it turned out to be fun and silly….
It was a great game. Not only because we won, but because our team had much fun together. It was the first time during our season where I felt more me than ever. I was quirky and silly. I cheered when I would have otherwise felt to shy to do so.
Moments of revelation.
Moments of camaraderie.
Moments of friends.
Moments of silliness and laughter. (but no mud as expected!)
Moments D107a: Love & Light
First, I must share the fact that today I was surrounded by love & light. Surrounded by the love and support of friends, new and old. Right from the start of my day, I had positive words. It was a beautiful day in that regard. As the day wore on, it became a day of digging deep, of sharing secrets, of, well, digging even more deeper. It’s been exhausting, it’s been amazing, it’s been comforting, it’s been eyeopening and it’s all because of the beautiful people/energy in my life. So many words shared. So many insights and positive energy. I am so incredibly fortunate to share their energy. Further, I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by this energy which helped to shield me from the smattering of unexpected dark words and energy that burdened me later today.
For these beautiful people, I am thankful. For the reminders. For the tough love, for the beautiful compliments, and for sharing their love and light with me. I am thankful for my support system and I could not let this entry go without sharing that thought.
But today’s special “smile” moment was less heavy and more about a moment with self.
We should all be so fortunate!
For these beautiful people, I am thankful. For the reminders. For the tough love, for the beautiful compliments, and for sharing their love and light with me. I am thankful for my support system and I could not let this entry go without sharing that thought.
But today’s special “smile” moment was less heavy and more about a moment with self.
We should all be so fortunate!
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Moments D106: Boundaries
This subject matter, boundaries, has been top of mind for some time now. Between my girlfriends and I, there certainly has been a lot of opportunities to discus the merits of boundaries. Setting them, abiding by them, and when necessary altering them within reason and comfort.
Today’s moment: Accepting boundaries. Both given and shared. Personally I had to manage a boundary thrust upon me. Personally, I shared a boundary. It felt good to stand my ground and maintain my boundary.
This seemed to have happened for a dear friend of mine today as well. So, it only seemed fitting to dedicate today’s moment to boundaries. Digging deeper within and knowing what it is “self” wants and what “self” is comfortable with. A simple thing, but for someone like me, and for someone like my dearest friend, it isn’t easy to stay true to “self” when all we want to do is keep the peace and please others. It’s a delicate balancing act and I’m only just beginning to learn this skill.
Moments to accept boundaries.
Moments to share boundaries.
Moments of being ever true to self.
Today’s moment: Accepting boundaries. Both given and shared. Personally I had to manage a boundary thrust upon me. Personally, I shared a boundary. It felt good to stand my ground and maintain my boundary.
This seemed to have happened for a dear friend of mine today as well. So, it only seemed fitting to dedicate today’s moment to boundaries. Digging deeper within and knowing what it is “self” wants and what “self” is comfortable with. A simple thing, but for someone like me, and for someone like my dearest friend, it isn’t easy to stay true to “self” when all we want to do is keep the peace and please others. It’s a delicate balancing act and I’m only just beginning to learn this skill.
Moments to accept boundaries.
Moments to share boundaries.
Moments of being ever true to self.
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