And as we toil with choices, as we flip and flop, we often feel like life passes us by.
From time to time, I too fall prey to this mentality.
As I inch ever closer to my 40th birthday, I can't help but press pause and reflect. I worry that being a Jane-of-all-trades and master of none may catch up with me. I've lived big, but with few tangible results. A good example is my goal to finish my finance degree by the time I turned forty. It won't happen. Not even close really. I have 11 more classes to complete. Why did it slip? Life happened. My Mom got sick. Then my Dad got sick. Then I went through a separatation and divorce. Tumultuous indeed, but life happens and as it does we make decisions.
Back to point: today's moment.
About a year ago, I started to dive into a new world. It wasn't long before I found myself falling into this world. Never before had I felt so respected, understood and my input appreciated. The seed, then planted, was slowly cared for as it grew and eventually bloomed into the love I find myself immersed in now.
Today's moment was a deeper understanding of that love and frankly, it rocked my world.
Moments like today's are rare. These are the moments where your entire paradigm shifts. A moment that makes your legs weak. A moment where your heart skips a beat (or three). A moment where you realize, you've never been here before.
Before your eyes, it's that moment where the moon shifted into the sun, where cold warmed into heat, high energy fell still and emptiness was filled. Eyes wide open, it's when the old grew young again and black was undoubtedly white. It was that moment where my inner me surfaced and merged with my outer me. And there was a sense of oneness within myself and my very existence.
Sound dramatic? Good. It should. It was that kind of moment! Seriously, my string of words don't come close to expressing how deep the moment went today for me. I had found an unknown piece of me deep in the shadows of myself and with it, I had a moment of deep peace.
As I inch ever closer to my 40th birthday, I can't help but press pause and reflect. I worry that being a Jane-of-all-trades and master of none may catch up with me. I've lived big, but with few tangible results. A good example is my goal to finish my finance degree by the time I turned forty. It won't happen. Not even close really. I have 11 more classes to complete. Why did it slip? Life happened. My Mom got sick. Then my Dad got sick. Then I went through a separatation and divorce. Tumultuous indeed, but life happens and as it does we make decisions.
Back to point: today's moment.
About a year ago, I started to dive into a new world. It wasn't long before I found myself falling into this world. Never before had I felt so respected, understood and my input appreciated. The seed, then planted, was slowly cared for as it grew and eventually bloomed into the love I find myself immersed in now.
Today's moment was a deeper understanding of that love and frankly, it rocked my world.
Moments like today's are rare. These are the moments where your entire paradigm shifts. A moment that makes your legs weak. A moment where your heart skips a beat (or three). A moment where you realize, you've never been here before.
Before your eyes, it's that moment where the moon shifted into the sun, where cold warmed into heat, high energy fell still and emptiness was filled. Eyes wide open, it's when the old grew young again and black was undoubtedly white. It was that moment where my inner me surfaced and merged with my outer me. And there was a sense of oneness within myself and my very existence.
Sound dramatic? Good. It should. It was that kind of moment! Seriously, my string of words don't come close to expressing how deep the moment went today for me. I had found an unknown piece of me deep in the shadows of myself and with it, I had a moment of deep peace.
In that moment, I also realized that I have fallen more deeply in love than I've ever been before.
And though I've never been here before, I'm not as afraid as I once was. Life will continue to happen. I will continue to plan and make the best of my time here, but I will not life my head one day and feel as though life has passed me by. I recommit to myself, and those I love, that I will ride the wave of life and travel it wherever it will take me. Life happens in a blink of an eye and I'm staring for as long as I can.
Moments breathing deeply and searching within.
Moments appreciating the rawness and balanced inner workings of yourself.
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