Those that know me, know that I’m not very good at taking compliments. In fact I can be quite awkward and uncomfortable with them.
Today I was completely caught off guard with a compliment. It’s been nearly two years now since I dropped 45lbs and have managed to get myself into the best shape I think I’ve ever been in. (Of course, that being said, I’ve put 8lbs back on, but I’m still in better shape than ever!)
Tonight, one of my co-workers and I were discussing the merits of exercise and eating habits. The lifestyle change and the commitment to it. For me, it was pretty simple. Calories in had to be less than calories out. I worked out daily (even if I was tired, I still dragged myself out of bed and did Yoga on those mornings) for many months, I monitored what I was eating and tried to choose more healthy ways to enjoy food. But I never restricted myself. If I ate a Big Mac (one of my favourite bad treats), then I just made sure I worked that much harder in my workout the next day and cut back on the calories that day.
For me, it worked. I feel better than ever before. I’m less regimented now (thus the 8lbs back), but I’m also feeling as though I’ve settled into a new healthier lifestyle. (too much of anything can be a bad thing!)
Near the end of our conversation I was told that I was an inspiration to others. That there were people in the office that talked about me and my journey to a more fit, healthy me. That this story of mine was inspiring to others to take steps to take better care of themselves. WOW. Who knew. I was pretty surprised to hear this news and it made me smile. What an incredible feeling that gave me. Of course it made me smile.
BONUS here? I think I managed to be less awkward with the compliment too.
Moments to share stories and challenges.
Moments to graciously receive compliments.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Moments D232: Parallels
Sometimes it shocks me at the number of parallels that happen in lives. I suppose it shouldn't. After all, we all walk paths that take us towards similar experiences. But every once in awhile something really shakes me and reminds me that we are all emotional beings. We all have fear, anger, happiness, joy, love….and I think we are all working towards understanding those on a deeper level. It’s emotion that bind us, that stretch us beyond ourselves and connect us.
Today’s moment, connecting with a dear friend of mine over some of her current life challenges. We had a deep discussion on the fear of being vulnerable. I don’t think I know of anyone that isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. It may be front and centre and we’re aware of it, or it could be something that is deep within and hidden. Fear can be so detrimental to a relationship, be it a love interest, a family member or a best friend. But what are we if we are not open to ourselves and those around us? We’re but a shell of self.
So today, I smile knowing that the discussion I had with my dear, dear friend has inspired us both to be a little less fearful about being vulnerable. We have both had moments in the last year that have caused us to be fearful of vulnerability. We both like to be in control and we have worked through moments of letting go. Parallels. In the end of our discussion, we acknowledged the fear, accepted it as being purposeful and realized that we mustn’t allow it to drive us. Awareness.
So today’s moment, celebrating a conversation. Celebrating my dear, dear friend and her growth within and without.
Moments acknowledging fear.
Moments being completely open and accepting vulnerability.
Today’s moment, connecting with a dear friend of mine over some of her current life challenges. We had a deep discussion on the fear of being vulnerable. I don’t think I know of anyone that isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. It may be front and centre and we’re aware of it, or it could be something that is deep within and hidden. Fear can be so detrimental to a relationship, be it a love interest, a family member or a best friend. But what are we if we are not open to ourselves and those around us? We’re but a shell of self.
So today, I smile knowing that the discussion I had with my dear, dear friend has inspired us both to be a little less fearful about being vulnerable. We have both had moments in the last year that have caused us to be fearful of vulnerability. We both like to be in control and we have worked through moments of letting go. Parallels. In the end of our discussion, we acknowledged the fear, accepted it as being purposeful and realized that we mustn’t allow it to drive us. Awareness.
So today’s moment, celebrating a conversation. Celebrating my dear, dear friend and her growth within and without.
Moments acknowledging fear.
Moments being completely open and accepting vulnerability.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Moments D231: Cute Hats
Today was a challenging day as I struggled to find my direction in the big picture. And yet, it was a productive day (a bonus as there is much to do!).
The smile tonight came while I was stuck in traffic. There was a gent crossing the street at one point wearing one of these:
How could I not smile?
Jack Skellington smiling at me.
Cute.
And a moment to smile.
The smile tonight came while I was stuck in traffic. There was a gent crossing the street at one point wearing one of these:
How could I not smile?
Jack Skellington smiling at me.
Cute.
And a moment to smile.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Moments D230: Street Light Sighs
Today was final exam day. The first in a year. I was into work early so I could get out early to get my head into the game. Just a couple of hours before my exam to pull myself out of work and back into my school world. There was much to cover over the past couple of days and I wasn’t sure if I was ready.
Those that know me, know that I am a perfectionist. Doing my best isn’t good enough. I don’t want to do well or good. I want to have great results. I want to exceed. Being great, for me, takes dedication and work. Believe me, I’ve tried to lessen my expectations (for my own sanity!), but it isn’t easy for me. For me, I’m willing to put in the time and energy as it makes me feel like I have accomplished something.
Of course on the other side of that coin is the pain that comes with not doing so great. That’s what happened for my midterm in this course. Not so great. It was fine though (in the bigger picture of things) and it was slightly above average. (I know, I know, what am I complaining about right?) But that’s not good enough, so I push even harder to try and ensure that my final exam picks up the slack.
But, here’s the kicker, I don’t like tests and exams. I actually get quite nervous about them. So, to deal, I put my blinders on. I focus only on the goal at hand and I end up a bunch of racing nerves by the time I sit down to write my exam.
Top all that off with this: Tonight, getting to my exam was a challenge as traffic was slower than I had anticipated. (Ramping up the anxiety of being late!) Then as I pulled into my typical parking garage, with 20 minutes to spare (not so late after all!) I realize that the parking attendant is changing the paper on the machine to let us in. I’m now trapped in a line of cars trying to park underground. Three songs on the radio go by. I’m actively calming my nerves and talking myself down. It’s okay if I show up 5-10 minutes before we start. Sure it is. (NO! Not really!) And then we finally start to move. I’m parked and getting out of the car with only 10 minutes to spare before my exam begins.
I boot it from my car and bound up the stairs and burst through the doors outside. As I’m rushing down the path to my classroom, the street light beside me sighs into life. In the time that it took me to walk to it and pass it, it was fully lit, but it was slow to light and in those brief seconds I slowed, I noted the light turning on as I passed it AND I SMILED.
And I took a breath. I walked a less urgently to my class after that moment. I wasn’t late in the end, not even after slowing my pace. I breathed a little easier after that moment and felt a lot more centred and ready for my exam.
Strange how it’s the little things that can make such an impact!
And for those of you curious about the exam - well, I think it was okay. It seemed tricky in places (as I expected), but I’m sure I did okay. Is that enough? I won’t know until 3-4 weeks from now. I’m just happy to have another course completed.
Moments of raw nerves and anxiety melting away with a sigh.
Moments to be centred.
Those that know me, know that I am a perfectionist. Doing my best isn’t good enough. I don’t want to do well or good. I want to have great results. I want to exceed. Being great, for me, takes dedication and work. Believe me, I’ve tried to lessen my expectations (for my own sanity!), but it isn’t easy for me. For me, I’m willing to put in the time and energy as it makes me feel like I have accomplished something.
Of course on the other side of that coin is the pain that comes with not doing so great. That’s what happened for my midterm in this course. Not so great. It was fine though (in the bigger picture of things) and it was slightly above average. (I know, I know, what am I complaining about right?) But that’s not good enough, so I push even harder to try and ensure that my final exam picks up the slack.
But, here’s the kicker, I don’t like tests and exams. I actually get quite nervous about them. So, to deal, I put my blinders on. I focus only on the goal at hand and I end up a bunch of racing nerves by the time I sit down to write my exam.
Top all that off with this: Tonight, getting to my exam was a challenge as traffic was slower than I had anticipated. (Ramping up the anxiety of being late!) Then as I pulled into my typical parking garage, with 20 minutes to spare (not so late after all!) I realize that the parking attendant is changing the paper on the machine to let us in. I’m now trapped in a line of cars trying to park underground. Three songs on the radio go by. I’m actively calming my nerves and talking myself down. It’s okay if I show up 5-10 minutes before we start. Sure it is. (NO! Not really!) And then we finally start to move. I’m parked and getting out of the car with only 10 minutes to spare before my exam begins.
I boot it from my car and bound up the stairs and burst through the doors outside. As I’m rushing down the path to my classroom, the street light beside me sighs into life. In the time that it took me to walk to it and pass it, it was fully lit, but it was slow to light and in those brief seconds I slowed, I noted the light turning on as I passed it AND I SMILED.
And I took a breath. I walked a less urgently to my class after that moment. I wasn’t late in the end, not even after slowing my pace. I breathed a little easier after that moment and felt a lot more centred and ready for my exam.
Strange how it’s the little things that can make such an impact!
And for those of you curious about the exam - well, I think it was okay. It seemed tricky in places (as I expected), but I’m sure I did okay. Is that enough? I won’t know until 3-4 weeks from now. I’m just happy to have another course completed.
Moments of raw nerves and anxiety melting away with a sigh.
Moments to be centred.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Moments D229: It's good to see you
Today was a bit of a struggle. Energies were swirled around me. Some things have come to completion, while others have begun to unravel. As the busiest time of year ends for most of my team at work, my own job digs in a little deeper into the craziness. And as I ramp up for the end of this semester, I realize, I really haven’t been a good student and I’m struggling to get through all the material.
Yes, there is much going on. Fortunately, I know I can get through it. I’ve had much more on my plate in the past. This should be a walk in the park. And yet, I feel the drag.
It’s the emotional stuff that’s really eating at me more than the things that need to be done. Questions about friends and feeling left out, worries about other friends and their family and general doubts about my ability to lead. And while there are a couple of very important, loving people in my circle that have been there for me, I’m feeling ever more abandoned by others and it’s been building over the past few weeks/months.
I suppose this is something that happens when you tear a life apart and rebuild it. For the most part I can logically walk my way through the why’s and how’s of it all. But sometimes, it’s just easier to sit in the darkness. To believe the worst. To wallow.
There were two moments today when a flash of light was thrown on me. The first a message from 3000+ miles away. A smile just as I needed it after a particularly negative encounter. Reassurance that I can make a difference.
But the biggest unexpected smile came from a near-stranger in Shoppers.
I have shopped at this particular Shoppers for as many years as it’s been there. I would recognize most of the cashiers on the street if I ran into them, but I don’t know their names, nor have I shared many a full conversation with them. Today, one of the ladies that I haven’t seen in a long while was back working at the front cash. As we did our typical ritual, I noted to her that it’s been a long time since I had last seen her. She informed me that she had been on maternity leave and we shared a few pleasantries as she rang through my items. Strange how time passes and how things change and we don’t always notice it. Then, as I was all packed up and heading out, she stopped me, looked me in the eye and said “it’s good to see you again”. Then she called for the next customer in line.
Sure, it might have been just her impeccable customer service skills kicking in, but it felt different. It felt genuine. And it gave me the biggest boost of light today. I don’t think I realized that I needed that boost until I had received it. Strange how sometimes the darkness can hide you. Stranger still that someone so peripheral in my life could make me feel that much better.
I left the store with a smile on my face. I smile as I share the story now.
If that’s not a good enough recommendation to be kind to others, I don’t know what is.
Moments to appreciate all people who cross your path.
Moments of unexpected kindness.
Yes, there is much going on. Fortunately, I know I can get through it. I’ve had much more on my plate in the past. This should be a walk in the park. And yet, I feel the drag.
It’s the emotional stuff that’s really eating at me more than the things that need to be done. Questions about friends and feeling left out, worries about other friends and their family and general doubts about my ability to lead. And while there are a couple of very important, loving people in my circle that have been there for me, I’m feeling ever more abandoned by others and it’s been building over the past few weeks/months.
I suppose this is something that happens when you tear a life apart and rebuild it. For the most part I can logically walk my way through the why’s and how’s of it all. But sometimes, it’s just easier to sit in the darkness. To believe the worst. To wallow.
There were two moments today when a flash of light was thrown on me. The first a message from 3000+ miles away. A smile just as I needed it after a particularly negative encounter. Reassurance that I can make a difference.
But the biggest unexpected smile came from a near-stranger in Shoppers.
I have shopped at this particular Shoppers for as many years as it’s been there. I would recognize most of the cashiers on the street if I ran into them, but I don’t know their names, nor have I shared many a full conversation with them. Today, one of the ladies that I haven’t seen in a long while was back working at the front cash. As we did our typical ritual, I noted to her that it’s been a long time since I had last seen her. She informed me that she had been on maternity leave and we shared a few pleasantries as she rang through my items. Strange how time passes and how things change and we don’t always notice it. Then, as I was all packed up and heading out, she stopped me, looked me in the eye and said “it’s good to see you again”. Then she called for the next customer in line.
Sure, it might have been just her impeccable customer service skills kicking in, but it felt different. It felt genuine. And it gave me the biggest boost of light today. I don’t think I realized that I needed that boost until I had received it. Strange how sometimes the darkness can hide you. Stranger still that someone so peripheral in my life could make me feel that much better.
I left the store with a smile on my face. I smile as I share the story now.
If that’s not a good enough recommendation to be kind to others, I don’t know what is.
Moments to appreciate all people who cross your path.
Moments of unexpected kindness.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Moments D228: Unexpected Concerts
Today I slept in and then lounged in bed a bit. It was warm and cozy unlike the cold, dreary day I awoke to. (Another perfect study day though!)
I was a good student. I worked hard to get through my notes. And I ploughed through quite a bit! But, I won't lie, I was bored. So, when I was asked to fill for an a cappella concert, I really couldn't resist!
Company that made me smile, music that made me sing, and a group that was inspiring to watch.
The best moment at this unexpected concert outing tonight was when the "meat and potatoes" worked with the crowd to create an interactive song. (of course I sang along!) It was absolutely fantastic!
And yes - we bought the CD. Actually BOTH. Their Christmas CD too! Check out their rendition of "Carol of the Bells".
Moments to enjoy an unexpected concert with beautiful voices.
Moments with the music.
I was a good student. I worked hard to get through my notes. And I ploughed through quite a bit! But, I won't lie, I was bored. So, when I was asked to fill for an a cappella concert, I really couldn't resist!
Company that made me smile, music that made me sing, and a group that was inspiring to watch.
The best moment at this unexpected concert outing tonight was when the "meat and potatoes" worked with the crowd to create an interactive song. (of course I sang along!) It was absolutely fantastic!
And yes - we bought the CD. Actually BOTH. Their Christmas CD too! Check out their rendition of "Carol of the Bells".
Moments to enjoy an unexpected concert with beautiful voices.
Moments with the music.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Moments D227: Rainy Study Days
Today started with a fabulous 90 minute massage. (Sadly, the last of the year as I just found out that my coverage is now over with the ex.) But that’s not what brought me today’s smile (even though it was rather amazing!)
Today’s smile came to me when I was leaving my massage to head home for a long hard day of studying for my final. It was raining. It was cold. And it was a PERFECT day to dive into my textbook and notes to study.
Sometimes things align just perfectly. Today was one of those days. Having a grey cold day outside makes it that much easier to tuck in and focus on what needs to be done. And hey, I managed to still squeak in some time last night to finish up season one of Sons of Anarchy (though I did fall asleep during the last episode!).
Moments focused on the task at hand.
Moments when the universe agrees!
Today’s smile came to me when I was leaving my massage to head home for a long hard day of studying for my final. It was raining. It was cold. And it was a PERFECT day to dive into my textbook and notes to study.
Sometimes things align just perfectly. Today was one of those days. Having a grey cold day outside makes it that much easier to tuck in and focus on what needs to be done. And hey, I managed to still squeak in some time last night to finish up season one of Sons of Anarchy (though I did fall asleep during the last episode!).
Moments focused on the task at hand.
Moments when the universe agrees!
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