Sometimes it's the simplest things that bring a smile. Today was a lazy recuperation day.
The best moment was putting my PJ's on early, ordering in pizza and watching a bad movie with my honey to close out the day. It was all so simple, quiet, and felt very normal.
Moments quietly recuperating.
Moments enjoying the simple things in life with those you love.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Moments D524: Pre-Sunday Brunch
Day one post adventure race. Not bad at all. Sure I was bruised, scraped, and sore, but filled with life and excitement post Tough Mudder. How could I not be? Not only that, the man I love was with me today and tending to my every (and more) need. (And no, I didn't take the piggyback ride down the stairs when offered. I'm a BAC (that smiles), remember?)
Today's moment was spending some quiet time with EQ and my Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad spent the night in Barrie and decided to drop by on their way home. It was a lovely change in plans as it allowed the four of us some bonding time.
The best moment was watching EQ help Mom with her new phone. Dad and I sat to the side, had our own conversation and watched them interact.
As they waited for data to download, they took a look at EQ's pictures from home. It was very interesting to watch Mom realize just how much his home means to him. She was quick to suggest that he not make any changes too hastily. Together you could see them digging deeper with one another.
As they worked and spoke with one another, it dawned on me. This all fits so perfectly.
Moments hanging with the parents.
Moments exploring the future.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Moments D523: (Smiling) Bad Ass Chick
Wow. What an incredible journey today was. Today was Tough Mudder day. I barely slept last night I was so darn excited by today's event!
Tough Mudder's female participants are lovingly known as "Bad Ass Chicks" (BAC). Today I joined their ranks, along with a team of 5 other participants (one of which was another female). My day started at 4:30 am and EQ, Heini, and I were on the road by 5:30 am. We made it to registration on time as did the other BAC on my team. The boys? Well, they were late. So we started our race later than we had been slotted for. (Not a big deal, but imagine the flood of adrenaline while you wait another hour before starting your big adventure race! We just ended up with a lot more time for team pictures.)
By 10am, we were off and running up "Gentle Ben" a green ski run at Mount St. Louis Moonstone. It was a perfect day to run the Tough Mudder. Sunny and warm, but not too hot (20-22 degrees). By 3pm we were crossing through Electro-Shock Therapy and the finish line. Five gruelling hours of going up and down the hills of Mount St. Louis Moonstone and defeating the 24 official obstacles. (Of course, there were a couple others tossed in there for good measure; then again doing the mud mile twice was kinda fun!!)
And what did I learn? What was my moment of the day? Such a challenging question to answer because there were so many moments. Like conquering the Funky Monkey and (apparently) making it look easy. Like my Dad becoming "Team Dad" because he always found us after our runs at the next obstacle offering to take our camel backs and giving us insight on how to best tackle the obstacle. Like my best friends being on site and sharing out to the rest of the world just where in the race my team and I were. Like teasing my Mom that I was going to give her a big 'ol muddy hug! So MANY moments that brought a smile.
What I learned: My endurance and strength were worthy of this challenge. What I wasn't ready for, were the hills. In the end, my biggest personal challenge was conquering the hills. I struggled because starting late meant that my well thought out meal pre-race was not enough. (I should have had more food/energy before we started!) My calves were not ready for that consistent hill angle for, 3 of the of 5 hours. I had cramping calves within the first 2 hours of our adventure. I dug deep and pushed through the pain and kept moving forward. One step at a time. And, as in life, one step at a time got me to the finish line.
But today's best moment, came when I was in the hot shower on my own. As I watched the mud and twigs wash out of my hair, I reflected upon the day's camaraderie, tackling fears, pushing through the pain and obstacles. What I realized is that I did this crazy event without (too) much turmoil (though I can admit that jumping into the Arctic Enema took a moment to build up the courage!). And, most importantly, for me, I had a smile upon my face the entire time. (The (many!) photos don't lie!) The question becomes, "Can I be a really be a Bad Ass Chick if I'm smiling through the entire course?" Hmmmm. Debatable!
Bottom line, I loved how our team came together and supported one another. No man (or BAC) left behind and we all have the scraps and bruises to prove it. Next year, I'll own those damn hills! (and maybe I'll scowl and growl a little more!)
And, while I'm at it, a HUGE shout out to my support system. Mom, Dad, EQ, Heini, BFF, and all those that were unable to make it to the hills to watch. I knew I was surrounded by support. Training to get here, running the course (safely) and dealing with the scrapes, bruises and pains post adventure. Thank you for all the love.
Moments bonding with a new team and digging deep.
Moments smiling and sharing the excitement with one's support system.
Tough Mudder's female participants are lovingly known as "Bad Ass Chicks" (BAC). Today I joined their ranks, along with a team of 5 other participants (one of which was another female). My day started at 4:30 am and EQ, Heini, and I were on the road by 5:30 am. We made it to registration on time as did the other BAC on my team. The boys? Well, they were late. So we started our race later than we had been slotted for. (Not a big deal, but imagine the flood of adrenaline while you wait another hour before starting your big adventure race! We just ended up with a lot more time for team pictures.)
By 10am, we were off and running up "Gentle Ben" a green ski run at Mount St. Louis Moonstone. It was a perfect day to run the Tough Mudder. Sunny and warm, but not too hot (20-22 degrees). By 3pm we were crossing through Electro-Shock Therapy and the finish line. Five gruelling hours of going up and down the hills of Mount St. Louis Moonstone and defeating the 24 official obstacles. (Of course, there were a couple others tossed in there for good measure; then again doing the mud mile twice was kinda fun!!)
And what did I learn? What was my moment of the day? Such a challenging question to answer because there were so many moments. Like conquering the Funky Monkey and (apparently) making it look easy. Like my Dad becoming "Team Dad" because he always found us after our runs at the next obstacle offering to take our camel backs and giving us insight on how to best tackle the obstacle. Like my best friends being on site and sharing out to the rest of the world just where in the race my team and I were. Like teasing my Mom that I was going to give her a big 'ol muddy hug! So MANY moments that brought a smile.
What I learned: My endurance and strength were worthy of this challenge. What I wasn't ready for, were the hills. In the end, my biggest personal challenge was conquering the hills. I struggled because starting late meant that my well thought out meal pre-race was not enough. (I should have had more food/energy before we started!) My calves were not ready for that consistent hill angle for, 3 of the of 5 hours. I had cramping calves within the first 2 hours of our adventure. I dug deep and pushed through the pain and kept moving forward. One step at a time. And, as in life, one step at a time got me to the finish line.
But today's best moment, came when I was in the hot shower on my own. As I watched the mud and twigs wash out of my hair, I reflected upon the day's camaraderie, tackling fears, pushing through the pain and obstacles. What I realized is that I did this crazy event without (too) much turmoil (though I can admit that jumping into the Arctic Enema took a moment to build up the courage!). And, most importantly, for me, I had a smile upon my face the entire time. (The (many!) photos don't lie!) The question becomes, "Can I be a really be a Bad Ass Chick if I'm smiling through the entire course?" Hmmmm. Debatable!
Bottom line, I loved how our team came together and supported one another. No man (or BAC) left behind and we all have the scraps and bruises to prove it. Next year, I'll own those damn hills! (and maybe I'll scowl and growl a little more!)
And, while I'm at it, a HUGE shout out to my support system. Mom, Dad, EQ, Heini, BFF, and all those that were unable to make it to the hills to watch. I knew I was surrounded by support. Training to get here, running the course (safely) and dealing with the scrapes, bruises and pains post adventure. Thank you for all the love.
Moments bonding with a new team and digging deep.
Moments smiling and sharing the excitement with one's support system.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Moments D522: I won't need pants!
Yes. Those were the words that came out of my mouth. In the middle of my office, with all ears listening.
What a funny moment that ensued. There were deep belly laughs and tears all around.
But let me back up and set the scene.
Recall, that my department and I are currently sharing a smaller office space due to a fire earlier this year. On some levels it's brought us closer as a team even if we have lost some of our privacy and possibly productivity due to distractions. The point, at 9:15 am, we're all in the office, not quite deep into work and everyone is paying attention to the chatter.
As Mr. B passed through with his tea, he commented on just how beautiful the morning was. He's right. It was a beautiful fall morning. Sunny and about 15 degrees Celsius. If tomorrow is like this it would be perfect to run the Tough Mudder.
I agreed with him out loud. And then I added, very enthusiastically, "If tomorrow is going to be like this, I got this! I won't need pants either!" The office paused, quieted and then burst into deep belly laughter about the thought of me running my race without any pants on.
A little stunned, I quickly added, "...shorts. Of course I'll have shorts on instead!" Of course by then it was too late. We were all lost to the laughter.
To me it made perfect sense. We had been talking earlier this week about pants v.s. shorts for the race. But, that's not what they heard this morning. Perhaps I needed to finish my coffee before engaging in conversation!
Just a reminder of how much fun my team is.
Moments streaming words without thinking too deeply.
Moments being centre stage as the source of good deep belly laughter.
What a funny moment that ensued. There were deep belly laughs and tears all around.
But let me back up and set the scene.
Recall, that my department and I are currently sharing a smaller office space due to a fire earlier this year. On some levels it's brought us closer as a team even if we have lost some of our privacy and possibly productivity due to distractions. The point, at 9:15 am, we're all in the office, not quite deep into work and everyone is paying attention to the chatter.
As Mr. B passed through with his tea, he commented on just how beautiful the morning was. He's right. It was a beautiful fall morning. Sunny and about 15 degrees Celsius. If tomorrow is like this it would be perfect to run the Tough Mudder.
I agreed with him out loud. And then I added, very enthusiastically, "If tomorrow is going to be like this, I got this! I won't need pants either!" The office paused, quieted and then burst into deep belly laughter about the thought of me running my race without any pants on.
A little stunned, I quickly added, "...shorts. Of course I'll have shorts on instead!" Of course by then it was too late. We were all lost to the laughter.
To me it made perfect sense. We had been talking earlier this week about pants v.s. shorts for the race. But, that's not what they heard this morning. Perhaps I needed to finish my coffee before engaging in conversation!
Just a reminder of how much fun my team is.
Moments streaming words without thinking too deeply.
Moments being centre stage as the source of good deep belly laughter.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Moments D521: Steps forward
Today was a milestone day. Today I officially started the divorce process with my ex-husband.
We've been officially separated for two years this coming November. Why has the divorce taken so long? I suppose it's partially laziness and partially the process of separating our finances. It takes time to get through some of that stuff. And now we find ourselves in the home stretch.
And, unlike my expectation, it wasn't overly awkward for me to see my ex. He looked good. Healthier than when I last saw him. I could tell though, he was nervous, . He was twitchy in ways that only someone intimate would notice. I found it interesting (in a social experiment kind of way) to realize that even though I haven't seen him in 19 months, I could still very much read his actions. He was nervous and uncomfortable.
This realization made me reflect upon my own feelings in the moment. I wasn't nervous. I was feeling eager to have this part of my life finalized so I could fully focus on the next chapters being written. I was feeling curious when I realized that some of his twitches that irritated me throughout our 11 years together irritated me in the 90 minutes that I spent with him. I was feeling content to hear, and know, that he was doing well and slowly building a new life for himself. I know, that when I left him, he struggled. Most people don't want to purposefully hurt others. I hated knowing how much pain I put him through, but I needed (and frankly deserved) more and he simply couldn't give it to me. Knowing now, that he's doing better, offers me some relief from that guilt I carry with me. In the end, I truly want him to find happiness. And while I don't believe he has opened himself up enough to truly find it just yet (at least not from what he shared with me), I do truly hope that he can. We all deserve to be stupidly happy.
Like a race, the home stretch can sometimes feel like the toughest part to work through. As we processed through our paperwork, my finish line seemed to get further away from me. It's like that never ending hallway The Shining. (Okay, maybe not quite as horrific, but I think you get the point!) After 22 months, I just want this book to be completed, bound up and tucked away. Time to look forward and not back anymore.
What we found out was that the divorce process is a two step process that entails of first getting a certificate of clearance to allow us to process the divorce paperwork. (The government checks its database to see if the same parties have registered any other divorce applications.) Step one takes 8 - 10 weeks before proceeding to the second step of actually applying for divorce. In total it will take 3 months.
Just as I thought I saw the finish line coming into view, it felt as if it were pulling away from me again.
So the divorce won't be final in a month as I had anticipated. But when I stopped to think about why it bugged me so, I realized that it really affects nothing. What's another two months? They will zip by in a heartbeat. I've already moved well beyond this part of my life. It's just paperwork.
Steps forward are steps forward. Not to be dismissed because there are more of them to accomplish.
Moments revisiting the past.
Moments realizing you are ever more focused on the future.
We've been officially separated for two years this coming November. Why has the divorce taken so long? I suppose it's partially laziness and partially the process of separating our finances. It takes time to get through some of that stuff. And now we find ourselves in the home stretch.
And, unlike my expectation, it wasn't overly awkward for me to see my ex. He looked good. Healthier than when I last saw him. I could tell though, he was nervous, . He was twitchy in ways that only someone intimate would notice. I found it interesting (in a social experiment kind of way) to realize that even though I haven't seen him in 19 months, I could still very much read his actions. He was nervous and uncomfortable.
This realization made me reflect upon my own feelings in the moment. I wasn't nervous. I was feeling eager to have this part of my life finalized so I could fully focus on the next chapters being written. I was feeling curious when I realized that some of his twitches that irritated me throughout our 11 years together irritated me in the 90 minutes that I spent with him. I was feeling content to hear, and know, that he was doing well and slowly building a new life for himself. I know, that when I left him, he struggled. Most people don't want to purposefully hurt others. I hated knowing how much pain I put him through, but I needed (and frankly deserved) more and he simply couldn't give it to me. Knowing now, that he's doing better, offers me some relief from that guilt I carry with me. In the end, I truly want him to find happiness. And while I don't believe he has opened himself up enough to truly find it just yet (at least not from what he shared with me), I do truly hope that he can. We all deserve to be stupidly happy.
Like a race, the home stretch can sometimes feel like the toughest part to work through. As we processed through our paperwork, my finish line seemed to get further away from me. It's like that never ending hallway The Shining. (Okay, maybe not quite as horrific, but I think you get the point!) After 22 months, I just want this book to be completed, bound up and tucked away. Time to look forward and not back anymore.
What we found out was that the divorce process is a two step process that entails of first getting a certificate of clearance to allow us to process the divorce paperwork. (The government checks its database to see if the same parties have registered any other divorce applications.) Step one takes 8 - 10 weeks before proceeding to the second step of actually applying for divorce. In total it will take 3 months.
Just as I thought I saw the finish line coming into view, it felt as if it were pulling away from me again.
So the divorce won't be final in a month as I had anticipated. But when I stopped to think about why it bugged me so, I realized that it really affects nothing. What's another two months? They will zip by in a heartbeat. I've already moved well beyond this part of my life. It's just paperwork.
Steps forward are steps forward. Not to be dismissed because there are more of them to accomplish.
Moments revisiting the past.
Moments realizing you are ever more focused on the future.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Moments D520: Random Connections
Tonight my Tough Mudder team (Flux) met up to go over our game plan and prepare for this gruelling adventure. We chose a bar that was mid-town as it was the best central location for each team member. That being said, it's not in my 'hood. It's not in my work 'hood. I am rarely in this part of the city.
Now.
But 14-15 years ago, I was here often. In fact, one of my first boyfriends in the big smoke was a bartender at The Duke of Kent and I spent many, MANY long nights in the pub waiting for him. I even spent a couple of New Year's Eves and Halloween parties in this pub. We were together for 4 years. Most of them he worked in this pub.
Random in its own right that we chose this pub. It's been years since I've stepped foot into it.
I arrived before any of my other team members. Being the first to arrive, I waited just inside the pub doors. There, across from where I stood was a table of 8 gents. They were happily drinking pints and watching the soccer game. One of them was facing me and looked strangely familiar to me, but I couldn't quite place him. I cross paths with lots of people in my life's travels, so I couldn't immediately place him. As I texted my team members and tried to figure out their ETA and how many we were to get us a table, I was chewing on the feeling that I knew this gent, I just didn't know how or why.
Some time passed and I made eye contact with this gent and smiled. He smiled back and his friend, with his back to me, turned to me and said are you "so-and-so"? I broke into a huge smile as all the pieces fell into place and I said YES and that's your friend Owen, isn't it? We all laughed in that moment. (I have no idea how or where the name popped into my head at that moment, but it was, in fact, Owen!)
Owen immediately jumped up and came out from behind the table. A big squeeze later and we're talking about his kids, his wife and where he's working now and I'm doing the same with him. Here's the rest of the random connection story: Owen and his wife lived in an apartment just above me in a house in the West end of the city....over 10 - 14 ago. We were dear friends. We had many a house party (yup, where we used both apartments to have our friends over!) I knew them when they were boyfriend and girlfriend, as they got engaged and then married and shortly thereafter, when they had their first born. I haven't seen him, or his wife, in 14 years after I moved. Incredible. And RANDOM!
To further add to the random, this bar is not in my normal neighbourhood of bars. (i.e. I'm rarely ever there now!) and Owen lives in a city 45 minutes away, but works "not too far" from the pub.
Random.
But the kicker? The boyfriend that I lived with in this apartment beneath Owen and his wife was the guy that worked at the Duke of Kent 13 years ago. Yes. Seriously. Weird right?
What a complete and utter surprise and, by far, the best moment of my day!
And more random: I can't wait to drop in one day, as Owen and his family live around the corner from where my brother does.
How strange and wonderful life can be sometimes!
Moments trying to connect the dots and figure out the connection.
Moments when all the pieces fall into place in an instant!
Now.
But 14-15 years ago, I was here often. In fact, one of my first boyfriends in the big smoke was a bartender at The Duke of Kent and I spent many, MANY long nights in the pub waiting for him. I even spent a couple of New Year's Eves and Halloween parties in this pub. We were together for 4 years. Most of them he worked in this pub.
Random in its own right that we chose this pub. It's been years since I've stepped foot into it.
I arrived before any of my other team members. Being the first to arrive, I waited just inside the pub doors. There, across from where I stood was a table of 8 gents. They were happily drinking pints and watching the soccer game. One of them was facing me and looked strangely familiar to me, but I couldn't quite place him. I cross paths with lots of people in my life's travels, so I couldn't immediately place him. As I texted my team members and tried to figure out their ETA and how many we were to get us a table, I was chewing on the feeling that I knew this gent, I just didn't know how or why.
Some time passed and I made eye contact with this gent and smiled. He smiled back and his friend, with his back to me, turned to me and said are you "so-and-so"? I broke into a huge smile as all the pieces fell into place and I said YES and that's your friend Owen, isn't it? We all laughed in that moment. (I have no idea how or where the name popped into my head at that moment, but it was, in fact, Owen!)
Owen immediately jumped up and came out from behind the table. A big squeeze later and we're talking about his kids, his wife and where he's working now and I'm doing the same with him. Here's the rest of the random connection story: Owen and his wife lived in an apartment just above me in a house in the West end of the city....over 10 - 14 ago. We were dear friends. We had many a house party (yup, where we used both apartments to have our friends over!) I knew them when they were boyfriend and girlfriend, as they got engaged and then married and shortly thereafter, when they had their first born. I haven't seen him, or his wife, in 14 years after I moved. Incredible. And RANDOM!
To further add to the random, this bar is not in my normal neighbourhood of bars. (i.e. I'm rarely ever there now!) and Owen lives in a city 45 minutes away, but works "not too far" from the pub.
Random.
But the kicker? The boyfriend that I lived with in this apartment beneath Owen and his wife was the guy that worked at the Duke of Kent 13 years ago. Yes. Seriously. Weird right?
What a complete and utter surprise and, by far, the best moment of my day!
And more random: I can't wait to drop in one day, as Owen and his family live around the corner from where my brother does.
How strange and wonderful life can be sometimes!
Moments trying to connect the dots and figure out the connection.
Moments when all the pieces fall into place in an instant!
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Moments D519: Home
Sometimes it's just really nice to be home. Home without any pressing tasks or distractions. That sense of tucking in and ignoring the rest of the world. Tonight, I did just that and today's moment comes from that sense of content and calm of just being home.
After a challenging day, it was great to get home and zone out. As I sat on my love seat with dinner post workout, I had both cats join me. One on either side of me. We watched an older episode of Dexter together. Well, that's not true. They slept and cuddled into me and I watched Dexter.
As I sat there looking around my living room, pausing to appreciate the love of my cats, I realized just how happy I was to be home. After all home is where the heart is supposed to be, right?
Today I felt that in that brief moment on the love seat with my loving cats. Home is where my heart is.
Moments pausing the chaos of life around you.
Moments appreciating the roof over your head.
After a challenging day, it was great to get home and zone out. As I sat on my love seat with dinner post workout, I had both cats join me. One on either side of me. We watched an older episode of Dexter together. Well, that's not true. They slept and cuddled into me and I watched Dexter.
As I sat there looking around my living room, pausing to appreciate the love of my cats, I realized just how happy I was to be home. After all home is where the heart is supposed to be, right?
Today I felt that in that brief moment on the love seat with my loving cats. Home is where my heart is.
Moments pausing the chaos of life around you.
Moments appreciating the roof over your head.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)