Moments D593: New Family

Tonight was an interesting moment. A moment where a first and a last happened at the came time. (Like someone's last first date.) Today my parents and I met, via Skype, EQ's mother.

It was a brief moment as EQ and his mother were just about to enjoy their dinner, but it was a moment filled with such an interesting energy. EQ was beaming, with a huge smiled an his face the entire time. His mother also looked happy. On our side, I could tell that my mother was sitting a little straighter/taller and I naturally found myself doing the same.

Ah....first meetings.  Always a little bit of anxious energy.  

Though brief, our meeting was fun and filled with such a positive energy. A perfect ending to my day.

Moments where two families meet.

Moments filled with positive loving energy.

Moments D592: Holiday warm fuzzies

Today was an intense day with much to accomplish before the weekend arrived. My moment today surprised me, as many do.

It came from an early Christmas card from Mr. B. His words are always filled with depth, even if there are only few to be had. His holiday wishes were warm and heartfelt and I beamed when I read them. Yes, definitely the best moment of my busy day.

Moments to take pause in a hectic day to appreciate another's words. 

Moments when my heart fills with light and loving energy because I paused. Beautiful.

Moments D591: Old friends, new energy

Today's moment comes from an unexpected blast from my past. As I was walking into the office this morning, I was stopped on the stairs by a fellow co-worker. But before I share today's moment, I need to share some of the strange background history.

This lovely woman once, many years ago, dated my then best friend. The three of us were nearly inseparable for about a year before life's shifting self had other ideas.  (As is does sometimes.) What was the catalyst?Well, eventually my best friend and co-worker split. It became awkward very quickly for me as I found myself in the middle of a very difficult and highly emotional breakup; I ended up drifting away from them both.

Fast forward ten or so years later and much has happened in all our lives. Marriages, divorces, separations and an MS diagnosis. Just this past Tuesday I had coffee with my old friend. I haven't seen her in about 3-4 years and the last time was also just a quick lunch outing as well. It's been many more years since we've been close. Our coffee break catch up was great. She's doing well even though she's had a challenging year.

Back to today's moment and being stopped in the staircase. My co-worker paused me to share with me her early morning thoughts, as she woke. In her words, she shared that she and I might have remained and possibly become closer friends had she never dated my old best friend. She paused and further explained that she wished that she hadn't gone so deep into that relationship and neglected her other friendships.

I reassured her that I never felt neglected and that life shifts and changes just cause drifting sometimes. She didn't seem to buy it though. She pressed the issue of our lost friendship. All I could do was offer her a hug and another assurance that her actions alone didn't cause us to drift.

About an hour later she shared these words with me via email:

After having a recent friend breakup, her words touched me deeply. Sometimes life just takes two people into separate directions, it doesn't make with one of them bad people. Sometimes the fit changes. Sometimes needs do. Sometimes physical locations do. Whatever the changes, it takes two to make it work and sometimes that energy is lost on other priorities.

Today's moment: appreciating and recognizing that life changes happen. It doesn't need to be seen as a negative thing.

Moments reflecting on what could have been.

Moments recognizing that we choose our path in life conscious or not. I prefer to be conscious.

Moments D590: Mirrors and Reflections

Today's energy was surreal.  I don't know what's going on out there, but it sure has been interesting.    My moment today stems from an on going shift in my life and before I share the moment, I must share a bit of background story, so bear with me.

You may recall that I've been dealing with a crumbling friendship.  It hasn't been easy and I've had to dig deep to find the strength to stay true to myself.  I don't know what I did to deserve the angry (at times vicious) onslaught of words.  I know they were chosen to cut deeply because my "friend" was angry at me for expecting a discussion over an apology.  Attacking because I expressed that I haven't felt valued in our friendship.   None of it makes sense to me, but I suppose it doesn't need to.

What I do know, is that the subsequent apology to those vicious words was lacking a sense of true contrition.  It fell short and I didn't/don't know what to do with it because, in the end, I'm still not feeling valued.

And that doesn't work for me.

The past two years, I have been on a mission to surround myself with people that value me.  People that respect me, my words and my needs.  It's been a painful shift (most change is!), but it's been eye opening.

Today, on Facebook I shared a lovely thought that my ex-aunt-in-law shared with me.  (Yes, that's right, my ex-husband's aunt emailed me.) I was touched that she had reached out to share it with me.  Her timing was brilliant given the personal drama I've been trying to shake.  The sentiment was this:

There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life getting back up is living."

Quote: "Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

Not only was I touched that this was shared with me, I was further touched at the responses received by sharing it forward.

What happened was soul warming.  I had a friend of a friend reach out and share with me that she too had recently gone through a similar friend-breakup.  Today because of this share and because of our brief discussion, I find my moment as she lifted the mirror to me and caused me to reflect and, ultimately, share again as my day's moment.  In her words:

Thank you. The feelings that I was experiencing earlier... well, they came, and now I have let them go! I wish for both of us to release all of the hurt and be free to remember the good times. I actually feel like I have turned the corner on it just today - that I am really ready to just let it go. This conversation with you seemed to be the final piece that got me there, so, again, I thank you. 

Wow.  I was incredibly touched by those words.  In sharing, not only did I help this friend of a friend move on, I found I had dug a little deeper within and reminded myself that I have amazing people orbiting me.  I needed that mirror today because my own resolve on this crumbling relationship was shaky.   My innate desire is to explain so that we can keep working on our friendship.  But I know she's moved on, without the awareness that I need.  And I deserve people who are aware in my life.

Small steps forward.

It helps to be surrounded by such beauty.

Moments reflecting about shifting relationships.

Moments paying attention when the mirror is held up to me.

Moments D589: Ferocious Love

Sometimes words just come to me.  Sometimes I filter and I don't share them.  Other days, like this evening, I just go with it and see where the ride takes me.

Tonight I told EQ that I loved him ferociously.   What?  What on earth anyway?

As I explained to him the why behind that word, it all came to make sense.  I love this man so much that the protector in me rises to the surface.  I want to ensure that his best interests are always at the forefront, even if he's not really paying attention to those needs.  That protective nature, that need to provide that world of safety, that's a raw, primal emotion.

And for us, it works.  I love him ferociously and I stand as protector to him (as he does for me).   My priority is always to protect the love and light that my dear, sweet, loving, generous EQ shares with the world around him.  To support him and energize him for more....and to make sure that he isn't taken advantage of.

He does it for me all the time.

Today, I realized, that I'm doing it for him too.

Kinda cool.

Moments stepping beyond self.

Moments realizing that you can be raw and real with your emotions and it's not only acceptable, it's desired.

Moments D588: Screaming tires

Tonight was the long awaited P!nk concert with my BFF, Big Sis and my niece. We had an early dinner at an area favourite, which, surprisingly, ended up being the best part of the night.

Why the best part you ask?  Well, that's really two fold.  Unfortunately P!nk's performance tonight was not stellar.  To P!nk's credit, I think she wasn't feeling well.  Given that likelihood, she performed brilliantly as she actually did all of her acrobatic stunts.  But, there was no encore (which was brilliant back in March when I saw her) and she had her backup singers sing quite a bit for her.  Disappointing.  So that's first reason.  

That said, here's a decent picture from the concert.    See - P!nk is way up in the air!

The second reason?  Well, that's because I had three pretty awesome ladies at the table with me and we had a lot of fun sharing stories over a delightful dinner.  We even talked, at length, about my grandma who had passed away this past weekend.  It was incredible and, at moments, quite deep.  Had we not had tickets to the concert, I think we all would have enjoyed sitting around the table for the rest of the evening, sharing drinks and stories.

So my moment today.  It's not dinner.  After all, I'm trying to be somewhat unique and interesting here!  No, today's moment was when we were leaving the parking garage after the concert.  The four of us tucked into BFF's Volkswagen, curling up the tight corridors of an underground parking garage, with traffic from the concert all around us.  

Cue the crazy girl driving a standard car that wasn't (likely) hers, up a ramp and directly towards us.  

But first:  Why crazy?  Well, we don't think the standard car was hers as it looked like the guy in the passenger seat was out cold and she was one nervous nellie!  As she took her foot off the brake, she immediately began to roll down the ramp.  You could see the panic in her eye.  We watched in horror as she eventually rolled back into the car behind directly her with a crack.  Thank goodness for bumpers!  

She rolled down the window and asked the guy behind her to back up because she wasn't comfortable driving a standard.  Blocked in with a car behind him, there was no where for him to go.

How did we see and hear all this?  Well, we were at the very top of the ramp waiting to go around the next corner.

And then the crazy girl gunned it.  The car comes squealing up the ramp. 

Right. At. Us.

Big Sis screamed.  And then screamed again louder (just in case we didn't hear her the first time) that then prompted my niece to start screaming.  BFF was looking for options, be we too were blocked in with no where to go.

Me.  I stared on at the scene with mild amusement.  I didn't think she was going to hit us, but here she was with the car screaming up the ramp at us.

And just as quickly (and loudly!) as it happened, the crazy girl slammed on her brakes with a squeal and stopped about three feet from us.

The four of us broke out into laughter.  

A second after our laughter erupted, the traffic ahead moved and we turned the corner.  

As traffic continued to merge into the exit lane, we never did see the crazy girl and the standard car again, but we could hear her squealing the tires around every inclined corner.  

The four of us laughed nearly all the way home about the silly moment.  

Sometimes, it's the strangest things that can bring a smile and create a conversation. 

Moments watching someone push outside their comfort zone.

Moments enjoying the silly reactions and conversations that we found ourselves in.

Moments D587: Card Writing

Today was a lazy day catching up on one, of many, of my to do lists.  A lazy day that turned out to be quite productive!

I spent a good portion of my day writing out cards.  Christmas cards, cards to remind those I love that I love them, and just notes that I have need to send out to finalize things from my past.

It was a great lazy productive day and a great moment of sharing my words.

Moments taking it easy.

Moments sharing loving words.