My apologies for the delayed upload of my daily blog. I've been very busy as the New Year came in. But I've made notes along the way and now I can add them all!
Happy New Year dear readers!
Monday, January 7, 2013
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Moments D256: Wolf Spirit
Today I am in the Haliburton forest. It’s beautiful. Quiet. Soul recharging.
I’m also with my best friend. She’s an amazing soul just coming out of her own flames of 2012 and while her transformation is on-going, she’s come so veryvery far. I look upon the challenges she has faced in this past year and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Her perseverance inspires me and helps me to believe that I too can find that strength.
A little back story: My girlfriend loves wolves. She has for as long as I've known her. It’s no wonder she fell in love with the Haliburton forest as there is a wolf centre there. A research centre, it plays home to nine wolves. Not quite wild, but definitely not tame as they roam a 15 acres area.
New Years Day vandals cut the fences surrounding the compound. Four of the nine wolves left the compound. One of those poor souls was shot by a poacher. It’s terrible news in a small wolf-loving community. The race is on to bring the wolves home and every day that passes makes the dream of a reunited pack seem ever more distant.
But the point of this back story is to share my moment of the day with some perspective. Today we awoke earlier as we were considering a morning of snowshoeing. Instead, we were a bit lazy and leisurely enjoyed our coffees before finishing up some laundry. Laundry is in the basement. But in this home one needs to go outside to get to the basement. This meant putting on your boots and parka and trekking down the outdoor stairs.
Thank goodness for this oddity! For had we not trekked outside early in the morning, we wouldn’t have see the WOLVES tracks. There were two sets of tracks quietly being dusted over with the fresh snowfall. They came down the driveway. Stopped and explored my car, then my friends car. It looked as though one set of tracks went clockwise around the house and the other went counter-clockwise around the house.
This was a VERY special moment. The elation that my girlfriend received from the knowledge that the wolves not only visited her home, but circled it and explored it affected her deeply. The circling of the wolves seemed to signify that we had been included into their pack.
This energy comes off of yesterday, where the original vandalism story was shared and a new friend who feels he is “Man of Wolf” entered our lives. He included us in HIS pack. Given that my girlfriend and I had been inducted into his pack, why couldn’t we have been “circled” into this wolf pack as well!
Either way, whatever you believe, there was no denying that over the past two days there was a heavy wolf spirit around us. For me, it was eye-opening and an experience I’ll never forget. For my friend, I think she found home.
Moments of exploring totems and spirit guides.
Moments of watching a friend find her path.
I’m also with my best friend. She’s an amazing soul just coming out of her own flames of 2012 and while her transformation is on-going, she’s come so veryvery far. I look upon the challenges she has faced in this past year and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Her perseverance inspires me and helps me to believe that I too can find that strength.
A little back story: My girlfriend loves wolves. She has for as long as I've known her. It’s no wonder she fell in love with the Haliburton forest as there is a wolf centre there. A research centre, it plays home to nine wolves. Not quite wild, but definitely not tame as they roam a 15 acres area.
New Years Day vandals cut the fences surrounding the compound. Four of the nine wolves left the compound. One of those poor souls was shot by a poacher. It’s terrible news in a small wolf-loving community. The race is on to bring the wolves home and every day that passes makes the dream of a reunited pack seem ever more distant.
But the point of this back story is to share my moment of the day with some perspective. Today we awoke earlier as we were considering a morning of snowshoeing. Instead, we were a bit lazy and leisurely enjoyed our coffees before finishing up some laundry. Laundry is in the basement. But in this home one needs to go outside to get to the basement. This meant putting on your boots and parka and trekking down the outdoor stairs.
Thank goodness for this oddity! For had we not trekked outside early in the morning, we wouldn’t have see the WOLVES tracks. There were two sets of tracks quietly being dusted over with the fresh snowfall. They came down the driveway. Stopped and explored my car, then my friends car. It looked as though one set of tracks went clockwise around the house and the other went counter-clockwise around the house.
This energy comes off of yesterday, where the original vandalism story was shared and a new friend who feels he is “Man of Wolf” entered our lives. He included us in HIS pack. Given that my girlfriend and I had been inducted into his pack, why couldn’t we have been “circled” into this wolf pack as well!
Either way, whatever you believe, there was no denying that over the past two days there was a heavy wolf spirit around us. For me, it was eye-opening and an experience I’ll never forget. For my friend, I think she found home.
Moments of exploring totems and spirit guides.
Moments of watching a friend find her path.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Moments D255: Kindred Spirits
Today I spent the day with my best friend. We woke up late (I later than her...and later than I have in many, many moons. I guess I needed a sleep in!) and then we lounged around with our nachos for brunch. Yes. That's right. We each had our own plate of nachos for brunch. We sat, cross legged, facing each other on the couch as we ate our nachos.
It was in that moment that I felt my kindred spirit was sitting in front of me. We haven't seen each other in 6 months and yet, it's like we hadn't missed a step in time. We talk often, but it's not the same as sitting across from each other. And in that special moment we shared laughter, we shared tears and we shared the beauty of a fresh snowfall.
Later that day we shared a the company of a new friend and I could tell that he is a kindred spirit to my friend. I enjoyed watching the exchange of words and energy. And later just the two of us celebrated a Belated Christmas dinner. (Cranberry sauce and all).
It was a day filled with love and light washing away the darkness of difficult stories shared. A day of new hope. A day of reflection. A day with a kindred spirit.
Moments of understanding the importance of the person sitting in front of you.
Moments with deeper meaning.
It was in that moment that I felt my kindred spirit was sitting in front of me. We haven't seen each other in 6 months and yet, it's like we hadn't missed a step in time. We talk often, but it's not the same as sitting across from each other. And in that special moment we shared laughter, we shared tears and we shared the beauty of a fresh snowfall.
Later that day we shared a the company of a new friend and I could tell that he is a kindred spirit to my friend. I enjoyed watching the exchange of words and energy. And later just the two of us celebrated a Belated Christmas dinner. (Cranberry sauce and all).
It was a day filled with love and light washing away the darkness of difficult stories shared. A day of new hope. A day of reflection. A day with a kindred spirit.
Moments of understanding the importance of the person sitting in front of you.
Moments with deeper meaning.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Moments D254: Stay Calm & Persevere
Today was a non-day. Nothing spectacular happened this morning, nor all day at work (other than getting a lot of work done as it is quiet in the office at the moment!). And then, I began my trek North for a weekend with my girlfriend and everything shifted. This drive was a beautiful moment for two reasons.
First: I had four hours in the car driving by myself. I had four hours to reflect upon the year behind me and the opportunities I have ahead of me. I had four hours to mourn the year’s losses. I had four hours to celebrate the year’s wins. I had four hours to really understand all that has happened to me over the past year. Talk about cathartic.
Secondly: I had a scary adventure about 20 minutes before arriving at my destination. I managed to get stuck; on a side-road; going uphill; around a corner; that wasn’t plowed; without cell service. Yes. That’s right. Re-read that. Stuck; on a side-road; going uphill; around a corner; that wasn’t plowed; without cell service.
How you ask? I lost momentum climbing a particularly icy/snowy hill after driving into some snow that wasn’t packed down. I started to slip backwards down the hill in my car. Instead of panicking, I put the car into reverse and tried to navigate the Northern blackness of night down the hill and around a corner. Huh. Not so easy when you can’t see 10 feet behind you. So, on the way down (to a point where I figured I could gather enough momentum to get back up!) I stayed close to the hill side and left the cliff side alone. Of course, this meant that I overcompensated and I ended up off the road, in deeper, unpacked snow, on the hill side of the road. Before I knew it, I was completely buried in snow. Yes. It was up over my bumper. My tires spun and splashed snow everywhere.
And there I was. Ten kilometres away from my friend’s house. Stuck in the snow, without cell phone service.
And yet I didn’t panic. I didn’t even really get anxious (at first). I simply persevered. I dug out my wheels. Then I dug out my bumpers. I tried pushing my car down the hill, then thought better of it as I worried I wouldn’t be able to control the momentum should I manage to get her to move. In the end, it was digging down to the leaves beneath the snow that won me enough friction to get out of the deep snow.
And then, I found myself nearly parallel on the teeny road. In order to go up the hill (the direction I needed to go) I would have to cut my wheels tightly in order to avoid the cliff ahead. NOW I was anxious. Even going back the way I came could have been more challenging as I might not be able to control the speed on the icy hill. Either way, the cliff was directly ahead of me. I even considered bailing at that point and just hiking out. (After all I had food, drinks and lots of warm clothes! I was good for at least a couple of days hiking!)
But, like everything I do in life, I gave it one more shot. I figured I could control my momentum enough to figure out if it would work BEFORE disaster were to strike. And, so boldly, instead of looking back, (which might have been easier) I looked ahead and plowed onward. (sorry for the pun!) And, as I write out the story, I realize there are many parallels between my life in the past year and this stuck-in-the-snow experience. Much like my life’s overview earlier in the night, it was time to look forward.
Then slowly, in first gear, revving my poor car until she was screaming, I managed to crest the hill. A mini celebration was had, but I wasn’t out of the woods yet. (Literally!) I still had 6.6 km of this winding, hilly road to navigate.
In the end, every hill that I crested was a moment to be grateful to my wee car for getting me over the hill. And looking back, I’m certain that had I not had a standard car (thank you Mom & Dad for teaching me standard!) I would have had to abandon my car and walk out of the woods to a place where I could find cell phone service again. I was ready for that possibility, but I didn’t give in without one last try.
So today’s moment: reflection and staying calm.
Moments of reflection.
Moments of keeping calm and persevering.
First: I had four hours in the car driving by myself. I had four hours to reflect upon the year behind me and the opportunities I have ahead of me. I had four hours to mourn the year’s losses. I had four hours to celebrate the year’s wins. I had four hours to really understand all that has happened to me over the past year. Talk about cathartic.
Secondly: I had a scary adventure about 20 minutes before arriving at my destination. I managed to get stuck; on a side-road; going uphill; around a corner; that wasn’t plowed; without cell service. Yes. That’s right. Re-read that. Stuck; on a side-road; going uphill; around a corner; that wasn’t plowed; without cell service.
How you ask? I lost momentum climbing a particularly icy/snowy hill after driving into some snow that wasn’t packed down. I started to slip backwards down the hill in my car. Instead of panicking, I put the car into reverse and tried to navigate the Northern blackness of night down the hill and around a corner. Huh. Not so easy when you can’t see 10 feet behind you. So, on the way down (to a point where I figured I could gather enough momentum to get back up!) I stayed close to the hill side and left the cliff side alone. Of course, this meant that I overcompensated and I ended up off the road, in deeper, unpacked snow, on the hill side of the road. Before I knew it, I was completely buried in snow. Yes. It was up over my bumper. My tires spun and splashed snow everywhere.
And there I was. Ten kilometres away from my friend’s house. Stuck in the snow, without cell phone service.
And yet I didn’t panic. I didn’t even really get anxious (at first). I simply persevered. I dug out my wheels. Then I dug out my bumpers. I tried pushing my car down the hill, then thought better of it as I worried I wouldn’t be able to control the momentum should I manage to get her to move. In the end, it was digging down to the leaves beneath the snow that won me enough friction to get out of the deep snow.
And then, I found myself nearly parallel on the teeny road. In order to go up the hill (the direction I needed to go) I would have to cut my wheels tightly in order to avoid the cliff ahead. NOW I was anxious. Even going back the way I came could have been more challenging as I might not be able to control the speed on the icy hill. Either way, the cliff was directly ahead of me. I even considered bailing at that point and just hiking out. (After all I had food, drinks and lots of warm clothes! I was good for at least a couple of days hiking!)
But, like everything I do in life, I gave it one more shot. I figured I could control my momentum enough to figure out if it would work BEFORE disaster were to strike. And, so boldly, instead of looking back, (which might have been easier) I looked ahead and plowed onward. (sorry for the pun!) And, as I write out the story, I realize there are many parallels between my life in the past year and this stuck-in-the-snow experience. Much like my life’s overview earlier in the night, it was time to look forward.
Then slowly, in first gear, revving my poor car until she was screaming, I managed to crest the hill. A mini celebration was had, but I wasn’t out of the woods yet. (Literally!) I still had 6.6 km of this winding, hilly road to navigate.
In the end, every hill that I crested was a moment to be grateful to my wee car for getting me over the hill. And looking back, I’m certain that had I not had a standard car (thank you Mom & Dad for teaching me standard!) I would have had to abandon my car and walk out of the woods to a place where I could find cell phone service again. I was ready for that possibility, but I didn’t give in without one last try.
So today’s moment: reflection and staying calm.
Moments of reflection.
Moments of keeping calm and persevering.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Moments D253: Perspectives
Today I had an early morning call from a friend some 3000+ miles away. We shared holiday pleasantries and then a couple of stories from the holidays. It was amoungst these stories that he quickly reminded me of a different perspective. That it was time to focus on the importance of self. Not to worry about others as much as I have in the past and for goodness sake to call them out on their BS. After all, we take the time to teach children when they’ve made a mistake, why then, as adults, do we struggle so to call out mistakes and why don’t we work harder at rectifying those errors?
He was right. I couldn’t argue his points. (Believe me I tried for a bit before rescinding any argument with his words!) After that brief conversation, I realize that I haven’t been as true to myself as I could have been. I haven’t been fighting for me. I’ve been fighting to keep everyone around me happy. (And while I realize this isn’t always a bad thing, too much of anything leads to an unbalanced life!) I’ve been fighting to make others feel good. It’s time to fight for my own happiness.
So I’m thankful for a distant friend’s perspective. One that washed over me like someone splashing cold water to my face.
Moments to awaken.
Moments to move forward.
He was right. I couldn’t argue his points. (Believe me I tried for a bit before rescinding any argument with his words!) After that brief conversation, I realize that I haven’t been as true to myself as I could have been. I haven’t been fighting for me. I’ve been fighting to keep everyone around me happy. (And while I realize this isn’t always a bad thing, too much of anything leads to an unbalanced life!) I’ve been fighting to make others feel good. It’s time to fight for my own happiness.
So I’m thankful for a distant friend’s perspective. One that washed over me like someone splashing cold water to my face.
Moments to awaken.
Moments to move forward.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Moments D252: Shared Horoscope
This morning I stopped in at my local Starbucks. I wasn’t in the best of moods given that my phone was destroyed, but I was looking forward to my morning venti americano.
The barista making my coffee chatted me up about post-holiday goals and resolutions. We agreed: resolutions always seem to fail. It’s more about setting realistic goals and working towards them.
And then, he pulled out a piece of paper from his wallet. It was his horoscope. It spoke about choosing paths. About deciding if the journey/path ahead was worth working for. Worth digging into. Or if it would be simply better to just sit on the couch and let the opportunity pass by. He then revealed that his horoscope was also mine.
Huh. How Timely. How incredibly special to have shared that moment with him. He didn’t seem particularly happy either about the New Year, but he did have hope because of the promise of opportunity, the promise of a journey. His attachment to those simple words gave me a moment of hope too. A moment where I believed that the journeys ahead will be different than those of the past year. *I* wasn’t going to sit on the couch and let them pass me by.
So I thank the barista for sharing his found horoscope. A moment that will stay with me throughout the year to come.
The barista making my coffee chatted me up about post-holiday goals and resolutions. We agreed: resolutions always seem to fail. It’s more about setting realistic goals and working towards them.
And then, he pulled out a piece of paper from his wallet. It was his horoscope. It spoke about choosing paths. About deciding if the journey/path ahead was worth working for. Worth digging into. Or if it would be simply better to just sit on the couch and let the opportunity pass by. He then revealed that his horoscope was also mine.
Huh. How Timely. How incredibly special to have shared that moment with him. He didn’t seem particularly happy either about the New Year, but he did have hope because of the promise of opportunity, the promise of a journey. His attachment to those simple words gave me a moment of hope too. A moment where I believed that the journeys ahead will be different than those of the past year. *I* wasn’t going to sit on the couch and let them pass me by.
So I thank the barista for sharing his found horoscope. A moment that will stay with me throughout the year to come.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Moments D251: New Beginnings
Today is the beginning of a New Year. The year started off being surrounded by a lot of love and positive energy. That feeling quickly disintegrated in the early hours of the morning when things became dark and complicated. But as I reflect upon it now, it was an evening that epitomized my entire year. This past year was filled with many highs and many lows. I was surrounded by love, light and adoration and other times I found myself in the deepest darkest hole. It is the roller coaster of life, or rather, it’s my roller coaster of life.
And so, as I reflect upon the year, these highs highs and low lows like I’ve never had before, one thing is for certain: I have gone deeper than I’ve ever been within myself. I have gone deeper with others than ever before. I’ve opened myself up to new types of people, new opportunities and new perspectives in life. I have grown leaps and bounds in the past 12 months. I can only imagine what another year will bring.
As I let 2012 drift into the darkness, I look forward to 2013 with fondness. The year started with a bang. It was like an explosion pushing me in a new direction. I now know it’s time to dig ever deeper. It’s time for new beginnings with the energies that the universe brings me and time to go after my dreams. I guess I should start to figure out what those dreams are!
Moments to pause and reflect.
Moments to dream new dreams.
And so, as I reflect upon the year, these highs highs and low lows like I’ve never had before, one thing is for certain: I have gone deeper than I’ve ever been within myself. I have gone deeper with others than ever before. I’ve opened myself up to new types of people, new opportunities and new perspectives in life. I have grown leaps and bounds in the past 12 months. I can only imagine what another year will bring.
As I let 2012 drift into the darkness, I look forward to 2013 with fondness. The year started with a bang. It was like an explosion pushing me in a new direction. I now know it’s time to dig ever deeper. It’s time for new beginnings with the energies that the universe brings me and time to go after my dreams. I guess I should start to figure out what those dreams are!
Moments to pause and reflect.
Moments to dream new dreams.
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