Moments D355: Puttering

Today was a ME day. I’ve been running hard and fast for the last two (plus) weeks. Today is the first day that I can call all my own. I went to bed late with the full expectation of sleeping in and lounging around all day.

BUT - today didn’t end up being that lounging day I envisioned. I’m not sure why, but I think it started with the fact that I wanted to get a manicure. What a better way to start ME day, right? I was up and out to the salon shortly after they opened today. From there, I ran a few errands that I’ve been meaning to do and grabbed a quick lunch out. Now I will have my leather jacket fixed, I have my supplements for the next little while replenished, I returned my empties and I did a little window shopping. Puttering. I didn’t really have a plan, but I puttered. I even hit the Dollar store. I bought the kitten a couple of new toys (laser pointer anyone? Wow. So much fun with the kitten!) and supplies for work. I was in no rush. It was nice not to be in a rush.

Once I returned home, I started to clean up the hurricane that had hit my dining room table and in my office. And the next thing I know, I am chatting with my dearest friend. We chatted while I filed and cleaned up my office. It was perfect. Laid back, slow, and, as always, great to catch up with my girl.

Just as I was ready to play some video games, another friend called. I haven’t talked to her in months. Of course, I took her call. It was really great to hear her voice. Another chunk of time passes. I’m not pressured, I’m not stressed. I’m happy to go with the flow today and just putter.

I didn’t find time for video games, but I did managed to get a lot of things done, slowly, on my quiet, lazy ME day.

After a run for groceries, guacamole making and cracking a beer I was digging into a tasty late dinner. It’s been a good, slow, long day. I look forward to crawling into my bed, but not just yet. One more TV show before I retire. Why not? It’s ME day.

Moments appreciating a slower pace.

Moments puttering instead of racing.

Moments D354: Mistakes

My exam today went very well. It wasn't easy, but I didn't overly struggle with it. This I am thankful for as that means I have one more course under my belt.

But today's moment isn't about having that sense of accomplishment, though it doesn't stray far from that point.

Right after my exam, I hopped in the car and headed out to my youngest nephew's karate testing for his orange belt. I barely had enough time to get from the university to the dojo. But make it I did. I showed up just moments before the testing started. It was a very large class of white, yellow and orange belts.

The sensei were amazing. They helped warm up the kids and stretch them before preparing them for showing their kata with the rest of the class and the all those who came to watch and support.

The lead sensei had this calm, kind, firm, enlightened energy about him. I liked how he interacted with each of the children. It was with respect and gentleness all at the same time and he connected with each child uniquely. That takes energy. That takes awareness. I was impressed.

What really impressed me was when the kata's began. It was obvious that some of the students were extremely nervous. The sensei always did what he could to make it easier for them. Lightening the mood, counting out the steps and most importantly, he spoke of their mistakes in a way that certainly inspired the children for working a wee bit harder and finding respect, not only for their sensei, but for themselves.

There were two moments during the testing that stood out to me. The first was when a young girl, testing for her yellow belt, realized mid-kata that she started out with the second set of steps. It was clear as day that she realized it mid-kata, but she persevered none the less. She finished the kata. At the end of her display, she looked upset at her performance. Sensei also noticed this moment. Before he let her go back to her peers he asked her about the situation.

"It seemed like you noticed mid-way that you made a mistake. Is that true?"

"Yes sir", she said very quietly.

He asked her to speak up. She repeated herself more loudly and met his eyes.

He then proceeded to praise her, "...the fact that you noticed that you had made a mistake and you finished your kata makes you strong. You didn't give up. You kept going. Life is about mistakes and embracing them and moving forward with them."

I think the entire audience in the dojo was silent and then we clapped. For the young girl and her perseverance and for the insight of the sensei.

The second moment was with an orange belt. He too had struggled with his kata and had some errors while he performed it. He looked defeated at the end of his kata. Sensei immediately picked up on that. Again, before walking this student through his kata a step at a time, Sensei addressed this moment. In this moment, he noted that mistakes and errors are what make us grow. We must always push ourselves harder and not fear making mistakes. Without making mistakes we do not learn and grow, we simply float.

Applicable to Karate. Applicable to life.

Moments appreciating mistakes and the growth they represent.

Moments D353: Hard work

Today I was home from work studying for my final exam. A fresh snow on the ground melting away, the sky darkened with heavy clouds and winds wildly blustery. Truly a good day (again) to be inside. This made my day (and job as a student to focus) much easier!

Today’s moment was pausing a moment to appreciate my own hard work. Perhaps that sounds strange, but often there are days I push hard and I don’t take the time to stop and appreciate all that I’ve accomplished. Today, I took the time to do so.

Part of today’s realization as I took this moment of pause was a better understanding of self.

I’m an A student. Rarely I’ve had a B+ or (gasp) even one lonely B, but most of my courses have garnered an A+ result. Impressive? No, not really. Not for me at least. I realized that today.

It’s not that I’m not intelligent. I am, but I’m certainly no genius and those grades don’t come without hard work. (I won’t lie, I envy those that seem to just absorb information!) Me. I just work hard. This is a trait that I’m thankful for my parents giving me. It’s served me well over the years. In school, in my career, in relationships (even those failed) and in my health (as I think back to getting into better shape).

In the end I really do believe that my energy is like a simple math equation - it always has to be balanced, no matter whether the energy is coming or going. Energy in = Results Out (And no, there’s no entropy in my system - it’s all useful energy!) In other words, the energy that I put into something (a class, a relationship etc.) I feel I will see the output of that energy in a beneficial format. The more energy I put in (i.e. the harder I work) the better the results. And yes, within obviously physical limitations, I do believe that we can very much accomplish just about anything we set our minds to - with dedication and work.

Add a touch of perseverance and a lot of drive and the results can be surprising sometimes.

Today was one of those days. Hard work, perseverance through the sense of being overwhelmed by the material, and drive to keep going. I studied from 8am thru midnight. A small lunch break. And yes, not only did I get through all the material, I also managed to have a couple of magical moments whereCLICK - the pieces fell together and it was no longer necessary to memorize the information. It had become bigger than a piece of information, it became a process and ingrained in other processes I was familiar with. That CLICKmoment can be elusive. I was grateful to find it after a day of hard work.

I’m ready for this exam. It’s going to be great.

As Thomas Jefferson once said: ”I’m a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

Very, VERY true in my world.

Moments appreciating hard work.

Moments feeling prepared and ready to tackle that 50% final exam.

Moments D352: April Snow Storms bring May.....Flowers?

Today we had a snow storm. Yes - that’s right. A real snow storm. About 2 inches of snow.

Me, being me, I stopped and enjoyed as much of it as possible during the day. It was a soft pretty snowfall. It wasn’t cold like the deep of winter, but obviously cold enough to turn the spring rain into snow.

I know lots of people were complaining about the snow in April. But not me. I know it won’t last long. I’m okay with another couple of days of snow. Before you know it summer will be here and people will be complaining about it being too hot!

Moments D351: Imperfect

First - let me apologize for being MIA - it’s been a challenging week for me as I found myself behind on my studies and feeling under the weather. But never fear, I did make quick notes to remind me of my special moments over the past few days. All is not lost! I do hope to catch up properly today/tomorrow.

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Today my BFF & I had our own Ground Hog day . How so? Well, I haven’t been on my game. Yesterday and today only proved that once again. Yesterday, we showed up at the ACC for the MUSE concert. Our tickets WERE FOR TODAY!.

Oh my. I haven’t been so shocked and embarrassed in a long, long time. What an utter failure. Here, in my last week before my 50% final exam, not only did I spend one night out for dinner and then a concert (which didn’t happen yesterday!) I spent TWO. One night, I could justify. A second? I was mortified. Not only had I put my BFF out for two nights, but now I had lost a full study night. Wow. How on earth did this happen? Scheduling. That’s what I do.

I didn’t even look at the tickets when they arrived in the mail. I didn’t even check my receipt when I bought them. I was convinced that we were going on the 9th. The tickets clearly stated the 10th. Shock and awe.

I won’t lie, I felt more than embarrassment (and my BFF was very gracious about it even though my mistake caused her to juggle her own schedule). I felt ashamed. Ashamed to have failed at this small thing.

When the (AWESOMELY INCREDIBLE) concert was over my BFF and I parted for the evening. She made it clear that it was okay, that it was shocking to her as well, but that it was okay.

As I thought about it on my solo ride on the way home, I realized that it’s okay to be imperfect. I know I strive for perfection, but it’s an impossibility. I know I have high expectations, but it’s okay when things shift. Being imperfect is what life is about. It’s OK. Now, I don’t have to like that knowledge, but it does make me feel less ashamed that I dropped the ball. And believe me, dropping the ball is not a habit I plan on picking up, but I know that it’s okay if it happens once in awhile.

It’s moments like this that make me really appreciate my BFF (and those like her) that have been incredibly supportive over the years. The mistake was taken in stride, love and humour. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

It’s also moments like this that I remember that I’m human. I’m not perfect. And that’s okay.

Moments admitting you are overwhelmed.

Moments where your friends are there for you.

Moments D350: Remembering Perspective

Today was a day where a sense of panic slowly rose to the surface. A day where it was simply, yet painfully obvious that there was not enough time to get all the tasks on my list completed. With a sense of failure looming, I received an email from one of our most respected team mates. I’m going to share it with you verbatim as its words were powerful.

Ninety-six years ago today, nearly 4,000 Canadians, most of whom were younger than the youngest of us here, died trying to capture what the Germans referred to as Hill 145. The Canadians, together as a unit for the first time in the war, and where so many others had failed, succeeded in taking what was deemed to be an impregnable position. It was a great battle, a great victory in the Great War and, what many people believed and still believe, is a defining moment of a young country in its quest to becoming great. April 9, 1917, Vimy Ridge. Lest we forget.

The panic subsided. I paused and thanked the young soldiers for their commitment to their country, its future and my present.

And then I put my head down and went back to work.

Moments to remember those before us.

Moments offering a deeper perspective on what’s important.

Moments D349: Black Smoke

On my typical route home from work today, I passed by a neighbourhood cemetery. Now I don’t typically notice the cemetery on my drive home. I know it’s there, I know that in the fall the trees on its grounds were beautiful with colour, but beyond that, I haven’t paid it much attention.

Today as I slowed for the backed up traffic at the stop light, I noticed billowing black smoke coming from the tiny little building on the cemetery grounds. It wasn’t soft and fluffy smoke. This is the type of deep dark black smoke that one expects to see pouring out of a factory chimney, not from a tiny building in the middle of the city with residential homes nearby.

As I idled at the red light, I also noticed that there was a handful of white cars in the cemetery and for the first time in over a year, I read the sign to the entrance of the cemetery - it’s a cemetery cremaotorium. Why I didn’t know this or notice this before surprised me.

And in that moment I paused, gave thanks to the person who has passed on and sent positive energy into the universe for those left behind.

And then the light turned green and I was heading on my way again.

A couple of minutes at a stop light, watching someone be cremated. It was a good reminder of what is important in life.

Moments pondering life and death.