Moments D364: Support Systems

Today’s moment is pausing to appreciate the support systems we have. For whatever reason, today was a day where I gave support to more than one friend, and I was in receipt of the same from more than one friend. It only seemed fitting to focus on this as the moment of the day. Too often those we love most are not celebrated enough. So today I stop to celebrate them in their struggles and thank them in helping me through mine. For me, it’s a reminder of what goes around. Give love, and receive it. Give support and accept it when you need it.

The moments of support today were many. I’ll try to be concise lest my words run away on me!

Moment one of support out: My dear friend was patient with me and my questions and then proceeded to remind me of things I should already know. Honestly, things I already know but keep pushing aside because of fear or this need to do what’s right. What’s right isn’t always what’s best. She was firm and loving and non-judgmental. I love her dearly for this support.

Moment one of support in: Midday a dear friend was in crisis mode over her job. We spent the time talking through options and trying to find a path that she was most comfortable with given the situation. I think we succeeded. I was happy to be a pillar for her. She’s always been there for me.

Moment two of support out: As I arrived home, I received a text from another girlfriend that I’ve been friends with for over a decade. She had a call from her doctor’s office about strangeness in her recent mammogram. She asked that I send her all my love and light for her appointment tomorrow morning. I happily obliged.

Moment two of support in: Another friend shared supportive words with me in hope they would fill me with hope for brighter days. The words are touching and given my journey this past year, it hits close to the core. But the words are also enlightening, and they do fill me with hope for brighter days and the possibility of really, truly being loved. For this reason, I close my post on support with these words. The quote, for which I can’t find an author:

The greatest irony of life is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone after that person walks out from your life. 

Sometimes you think you’re already over a person but when you see them smile at you, you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. 

For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person.

Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love; love is always present. It’s just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little. 

As we all know, the heart is the center of the body, but it beats on the left. Maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. 

Here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough and move on when things are not like before. There is someone out there who will love you even more, surely then, you will know true love.

Moments appreciating my support system.

Moments knowing I too am a support system.

What goes around…..

Moments D195: Closing Doors

Today was an interesting day. Today I chose to firmly close the door on a dream I've had since I can remember.

The process of getting to this point has been challenging. I’ve dug deep into myself and asked some tough questions over the past two months when this opportunity first presented itself.

In the end, I came to understand a couple of key points about myself.

First, I fully recognized just how important my family is to me. (Don’t get me wrong, I obviously love these people but I’m fortunate enough to like them too.) The thought of relocating and seeing them even more infrequently was not something I wanted to really wanted experience. It was a major draw back for me. Even so, for the right opportunity, I would have tested that theory and I was ready to.

But then I dug a little deeper and I realized that I love living in a city that is busy and vibrant and full of activity. And digging deeper yet I realized that I have worked too hard in my life to take a step backwards. Not only does that realization fit financially, but also emotionally. I realized that I've already taken a big step backwards emotionally this past year and I've been struggling to move that forward. There was no way that I was willing to add taking a step back financially as well.

So while, on the surface of it, this opportunity seemed like a dream come true, once I peeled away some of the layers I realized that it wasn’t a good fit overall. I deserve the right fit. I deserve something that better fits my key needs.

And yet, as this opportunity came to a head and an ultimate decision was shared, I was saddened to close the door. Letting go of dreams can be hard. They can also give you room to breathe and grow into new dreams.

So, do I see it as a lost opportunity? No. I smile knowing that I did my due diligence. I dug and asked tough questions of myself. It wasn’t a good fit and that’s okay, that’s life after all. I’m happy to know that I will continue the good fight of personal evolution and I’ll be closest to those I love most.

Moments of self-reflection.

Moments of choosing a path.

Moments D173: Magic Number 11

Today was my 11 year anniversary with the company I work for. It came and went without notice for those I work with. On the one hand, and really the more dominant one, I'm quite alright (perhaps all right) with the lack of attention. I would much rather work hard in the background without the spotlight on me. However, a small part of me was saddened that no one person realized my milestone; after all who doesn't like to be recognized for their loyalty and hard work.

No matter though. It was just another day like any day before it and I was happy to have the time to focus on finishing up my big proposal for tomorrow’s meeting.

My moment today came to me when I realized that today the end of my 11th year with my company. Eleven is a special number to some with a vibration that is slightly more amplified than others. Called a “Master Number” in Numerology 11 is the most intuitive of all numbers and it is associated with spiritual awareness. Eleven brings an understanding and knowledge beyond the grasp of rational thought. The energy from an 11 can be avant-garde, idealistic, visionary, and cultured. Extremes to be sure. According to this website: ”The 11 walks the edge between greatness and self-destruction. Its potential for growth, stability, and personal power lies in its acceptance of intuitive understanding, and of spiritual truths.”

Wow! While 11 is not my life path or my expression, the energy of 11 was a part of my life this past year on a career level and partially personally (after all who’s career doesn't affect them personally?). And believe me, with everything that I've been through this past year, I've felt the potential for growth and for self-destruction. It’s been a tireless pursuit and balancing act. And yet, every step of the way I've managed to dig deeper than I ever thought possible. Perhaps it’s because of the energy of the 11 with me through this past year.

So today was a moment to pause amoung the chaos around me personally and at work to note that it’s been 11 years. I've had 11 years in the making with this company. I was green when I started here and filled with ambition and drive. I'm a lot less green, but I'm happy to realize that I'm still filled with that ambition and drive. That makes me smile.

So today I quietly celebrate my milestone. One where I feel I've manage to stave off self-destruction and ride the wave of growth.

I pause and give thanks to my mentors, my co-workers and all of my (many) business contacts. Each and everyone of you have helped me to grow in my career and in my life. (And yes, having a “9” for a life path means that I can be overly compassionate. But I genuinely do appreciate all that have touched my life, for each moment, each interaction is an opportunity to learn and grow.)

Moments to reflect.

Moments to appreciate.