Okay. I know that sounds pretty grandiose, but let me tell you the story and then you see if it doesn’t perfectly fit!
Today is the day that Hurricane Sandy hits the Eastern seaboard. NYC felt her wrath earlier today. This evening Toronto is feeling it too. Winds are high, the rain is pelting sideways and in large gobs at times.
When I drove onto my street post-volleyball, it was obvious that the electricity was out. My street was blacker than black. (But I was fortunate for parking out front….thank you parking fairies!)
I strategically collected my bags and made sure I had my key in hand before dashing to the front door in the pelting rain. No fumbling and in the door in thirty seconds. Brilliant. In the pitch black.
But, this really isn’t a problem for me (other than studying this evening without my laptop). Why? I play this game with myself sometimes. I love to walk around in the dark and make my way around the furniture and just FEEL a room. I’ve done it since I can remember. This is just another opportunity for me to play this game with myself.
But, as I turn to lock the door behind me the lights magically turn on. There’s no getting away from my study night it seems.
Best smile of the day by far. YES! LET THERE BE LIGHT! (Don’t you agree?)
Moments that make me wonder.
Moments to get back to work!
Monday, October 29, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Moments D186: Paused Moments & Reflection
Today was another long study day, but I started it off with a moment set aside for me. Not for school, not for friends, not for family. For me.
I made myself a pot of coffee and a couple of poached eggs. And then, I watched the end of season three of Glee. It was 45 minutes for me. It was delightful and it was the best way to start my study day, for I felt ready to tackle the study day. That was a first for me. A pause in my drive for studying. Typically I would just dive into studying.
The reflection came from the finale. It was quite sad! And, it took me back in time, to when I finished high school. I realized, watching that episode, that I never went through the same process as most people do when they were finish high school. I left high school a semester early to move into the big city for a science school semester. I said goodbye before the end. And when I came back for graduation day, I was already separated from my class. It was surreal for me as I already felt like I didn’t fit in with all of my old friends. But I also knew that I had made many new friends. Yes, this finale shook me to the core. I was sad about missing that moment, but I was sadder still for lost time and the excitement of having one’s life in front of them.
I can rationalize that I still have much of my life ahead of me, but it’s not the same as that wide openness of becoming an adult. I know that I have had many successes and many failures and that together they make me who I am - I wouldn’t change any of that for anything. And yet, I think, in that moment with the show, I grieved the loss of time and the loss of direction.
It was, as a dear friend said to me, a moment to wallow. I allowed myself to sit with it. And then, when it was over, I shook myself and set to my path for the day. Studying. I have time. I have direction. And yes, while the former is limited and the latter is constantly changing, it’s not a bad thing. It’s what makes me who I am.
Moments paused.
Moments to reflect.
I made myself a pot of coffee and a couple of poached eggs. And then, I watched the end of season three of Glee. It was 45 minutes for me. It was delightful and it was the best way to start my study day, for I felt ready to tackle the study day. That was a first for me. A pause in my drive for studying. Typically I would just dive into studying.
The reflection came from the finale. It was quite sad! And, it took me back in time, to when I finished high school. I realized, watching that episode, that I never went through the same process as most people do when they were finish high school. I left high school a semester early to move into the big city for a science school semester. I said goodbye before the end. And when I came back for graduation day, I was already separated from my class. It was surreal for me as I already felt like I didn’t fit in with all of my old friends. But I also knew that I had made many new friends. Yes, this finale shook me to the core. I was sad about missing that moment, but I was sadder still for lost time and the excitement of having one’s life in front of them.
I can rationalize that I still have much of my life ahead of me, but it’s not the same as that wide openness of becoming an adult. I know that I have had many successes and many failures and that together they make me who I am - I wouldn’t change any of that for anything. And yet, I think, in that moment with the show, I grieved the loss of time and the loss of direction.
It was, as a dear friend said to me, a moment to wallow. I allowed myself to sit with it. And then, when it was over, I shook myself and set to my path for the day. Studying. I have time. I have direction. And yes, while the former is limited and the latter is constantly changing, it’s not a bad thing. It’s what makes me who I am.
Moments paused.
Moments to reflect.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Moments D185: Banana Bread
Today was a good day to tuck in and study for my coming midterm and to get a few things done around the apartment that I've been ignoring. (Like the slightly clogged drain in the bathroom!) It was productive and quiet and absolutely perfect.
My happiest moment today was baking banana bread. I haven't actually baked since I moved into the apartment. This was a first. The first time using my antique glass mixing bowls instead of the stainless ones I've used for years. (Those went with the ex.) But it was good. It brought many smiles, even a few giggles, and 50 minutes later I was enjoying a delicious piece (or two) of banana bread.
A perfect way to end a perfectly productive day.
Moments being productive.
Moments baking.
My happiest moment today was baking banana bread. I haven't actually baked since I moved into the apartment. This was a first. The first time using my antique glass mixing bowls instead of the stainless ones I've used for years. (Those went with the ex.) But it was good. It brought many smiles, even a few giggles, and 50 minutes later I was enjoying a delicious piece (or two) of banana bread.
A perfect way to end a perfectly productive day.
Moments being productive.
Moments baking.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Moments D184: Anonymous Hellos
This morning it was warm….warmer than it has been in quite some time. The dew was heavy; so heavy that my car glistened in the dewy coat it was enveloped in.
As I walked to my car I took a moment to breathe in the warm morning air of fall. I love this time of year for its smells and colours.
And then I saw it. The anonymous hello. There on my passenger door were two letters. H. I.
I smiled. As I walked to the driver’s side I even chucked to myself a little.
Yes, I appreciated the anonymous “hi” written in the morning dew. It was a great way to start my day.
Moments of surprise.
Moments shared.
As I walked to my car I took a moment to breathe in the warm morning air of fall. I love this time of year for its smells and colours.
And then I saw it. The anonymous hello. There on my passenger door were two letters. H. I.
I smiled. As I walked to the driver’s side I even chucked to myself a little.
Yes, I appreciated the anonymous “hi” written in the morning dew. It was a great way to start my day.
Moments of surprise.
Moments shared.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Moments D183: Flashlights
I know, I know. It sounds kinda crazy that today's special moment is because of a flashlight. But hear me out and you'll (hopefully) see the light.
(Sorry I couldn't help myself!)
When I was first inspired to dig deeper and push beyond the emotional boundaries that I found myself surrounded in (due to an unhealthy marriage) I felt this internal stirring about being a light. And, months ago, in the very beginning of this process of sharing my moments with the public I had had a couple of deep discussions with people close to me. I'm sure if I was labeled or I ended up self-labeling after the discussions, but the term of endearment was I'm a "fucking flashlight". (Please pardon the profanity, but that's verbatim.)
So what the heck does that mean? Let's see if I can summarize this for you....
Well, for me it feels like most of my life my purpose in others' lives is to help shine light upon them. To find the positive. To help them seek out paths that will be more fulfilling to them. Mostly I listen, reflect and shine light in areas that they may not have considered before. This may sound egotistical, but honestly, I have a knack for it. It's not to say it's perfect or easy all the time. (After all, sometimes people don't want light shone upon them!) But in that regard, I'm a "fucking flashlight".
So with that in mind, today was one of those days that affirmed this silly label of mine.
Yesterday I had a meeting with one of my MFRs. He is a gentle and kind soul and someone, who after having an heart attack recently, is feeling as though he's having a midlife crisis. I listened and reflected back my experience with life changing moments. My struggles with my marriage and my realization that having a good, content life wasn't enough. That I wanted happiness and joy and light in my life. Is that a midlife crisis because I left the world of safe and secure behind? I didn't think so.
For me, it's about evolving and being better versions of ourselves and recognizing what is holding us back. We all have the potential to shine a little brighter. He seemed quite moved by the sharing of thoughts and noted that he was going to think more upon my perspective that he felt enlightened. We laughed and said our good-byes.
And then, this morning, I received an email from this gentlemen as a follow up to our meeting. The first line: "It was great to chat with you yesterday too.....enlightening!"
I smiled. He actually meant it. It was in black and white now. My job as a flashlight successful.
Moments to shine light.
Moments to evolve.
(Sorry I couldn't help myself!)
When I was first inspired to dig deeper and push beyond the emotional boundaries that I found myself surrounded in (due to an unhealthy marriage) I felt this internal stirring about being a light. And, months ago, in the very beginning of this process of sharing my moments with the public I had had a couple of deep discussions with people close to me. I'm sure if I was labeled or I ended up self-labeling after the discussions, but the term of endearment was I'm a "fucking flashlight". (Please pardon the profanity, but that's verbatim.)
So what the heck does that mean? Let's see if I can summarize this for you....
Well, for me it feels like most of my life my purpose in others' lives is to help shine light upon them. To find the positive. To help them seek out paths that will be more fulfilling to them. Mostly I listen, reflect and shine light in areas that they may not have considered before. This may sound egotistical, but honestly, I have a knack for it. It's not to say it's perfect or easy all the time. (After all, sometimes people don't want light shone upon them!) But in that regard, I'm a "fucking flashlight".
So with that in mind, today was one of those days that affirmed this silly label of mine.
Yesterday I had a meeting with one of my MFRs. He is a gentle and kind soul and someone, who after having an heart attack recently, is feeling as though he's having a midlife crisis. I listened and reflected back my experience with life changing moments. My struggles with my marriage and my realization that having a good, content life wasn't enough. That I wanted happiness and joy and light in my life. Is that a midlife crisis because I left the world of safe and secure behind? I didn't think so.
For me, it's about evolving and being better versions of ourselves and recognizing what is holding us back. We all have the potential to shine a little brighter. He seemed quite moved by the sharing of thoughts and noted that he was going to think more upon my perspective that he felt enlightened. We laughed and said our good-byes.
And then, this morning, I received an email from this gentlemen as a follow up to our meeting. The first line: "It was great to chat with you yesterday too.....enlightening!"
I smiled. He actually meant it. It was in black and white now. My job as a flashlight successful.
Moments to shine light.
Moments to evolve.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Moments D182: Home Made Cooking
One thing about me. I love food. I love to prep and play with food. I simply love to cook. (For the record, I enjoy baking, I just don’t enjoy eating my wares as much! Why? Well, I enjoy savoury/salty dishes over the sweet baked goods!)
I suppose some would call it a hobby, but others close to me might suggest that it verges on a passion of mine. I suppose they aren’t wrong. Whenever I have time and energy to invest in cooking a meal, I will. And the universe knows I love throwing a good dinner party. Some of them have been epic for failure of thinning out the recipes I was dying to try on my closest “guinea pig” friends. (For the record, no major failures have been had and therefore no “guinea pigs” harmed in the process!)
And so, with that in mind, today’s moment and sense of satisfaction and joy came from cooking myself dinner. It was a new twist on similar flavours. Mango curry pork. I’ve never had a mango curry before, let alone cut up a beautiful butterflied pork chop into a curry.
But let me tell you, the result was divine. Best part about cooking dinner for yourself: LEFTOVERS! I have lunch for tomorrow and one more portion left for, likely, my Friday night dinner.
Moments to explore new flavours.
Moments with food.
I suppose some would call it a hobby, but others close to me might suggest that it verges on a passion of mine. I suppose they aren’t wrong. Whenever I have time and energy to invest in cooking a meal, I will. And the universe knows I love throwing a good dinner party. Some of them have been epic for failure of thinning out the recipes I was dying to try on my closest “guinea pig” friends. (For the record, no major failures have been had and therefore no “guinea pigs” harmed in the process!)
And so, with that in mind, today’s moment and sense of satisfaction and joy came from cooking myself dinner. It was a new twist on similar flavours. Mango curry pork. I’ve never had a mango curry before, let alone cut up a beautiful butterflied pork chop into a curry.
But let me tell you, the result was divine. Best part about cooking dinner for yourself: LEFTOVERS! I have lunch for tomorrow and one more portion left for, likely, my Friday night dinner.
Moments to explore new flavours.
Moments with food.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Moments D181: Mr. James
James came to meet me for lunch today and what a lovely way to spend my lunch hour!
Okay, Okay. That’s not entirely true. James was tagging along for the ride today. After all, he’s only 8.5 months old! But, even at 8.5 months old, he has stolen my heart!
My dear friend came by today to pick up her new camera. Of course we made a lunch date out of it. Now, us girls, we rarely get a chance to hang out just the two of us, but today, even with Mr. James with us, it was like being on our own.
Lunch was a delightful series of serious stories and the sharing of silly moments. All the while Mr. James watched with either his bottle or a piece of pita in hand. What an incredibly adorable, happy baby. You can feel the love pouring from him and frankly I know the source: his parents are two amazing people, both filled with much love and joy!
So today’s moment was about an adorable baby boy that I met for the first time last week and had an opportunity to hang out with him and his beautiful mother again today. They both made me smile many times in that special hour, but he stole my heart.
Moments with babies.
Moments with girlfriends.
Okay, Okay. That’s not entirely true. James was tagging along for the ride today. After all, he’s only 8.5 months old! But, even at 8.5 months old, he has stolen my heart!
My dear friend came by today to pick up her new camera. Of course we made a lunch date out of it. Now, us girls, we rarely get a chance to hang out just the two of us, but today, even with Mr. James with us, it was like being on our own.
Lunch was a delightful series of serious stories and the sharing of silly moments. All the while Mr. James watched with either his bottle or a piece of pita in hand. What an incredibly adorable, happy baby. You can feel the love pouring from him and frankly I know the source: his parents are two amazing people, both filled with much love and joy!
So today’s moment was about an adorable baby boy that I met for the first time last week and had an opportunity to hang out with him and his beautiful mother again today. They both made me smile many times in that special hour, but he stole my heart.
Moments with babies.
Moments with girlfriends.
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