Today I rode my bicycle into work. It’s only the second time this season that I’ve been able to. The first time around my rear brakes snapped and it was dangerous for me to ride home without them, so I hitched a ride. But today, today I did the trek both to work and from work. What an interesting ride both physically and philosophically!
The ride to work is downhill at the beginning and fairly flat from there to work. It took me 21 minutes the first time and 23 minutes the second time. (Not bad considering I stopped to inflate my tires at the local gas station too!)
The ride home, on the other hand, took me 28 minutes. Those extra five minutes felt like hours. That downhill jaunt on the way to work, was a lot longer and challenging than I thought it was going to be. It’s about 6-7 blocks of a constant incline. There are no breaks in this incline (unless you count a slightly less inclined area before it gets even more steep) which means, there’s no stopping or you are walking.
I rode in my lowest gear for the entire way. Rounding a corner on the hill there was a moment where I thought to myself:”I could (should?) pull over and walk my bike up the hill” and yet I persisted. And while there was another moment, where I was riding as fast as the person was walking the hill beside me, I still forged ahead. I pushed, and pushed and never gave up.
When I made it to the top of the hill without stopping, without giving up, I felt like I had accomplished something. I know, it’s not really a big deal, it’s only a hill on my bike ride home from work. Still, I had a sense that I had achieved something because I was persistent and pushed through the pain.
And then I realized how I managed to complete the ride without giving in: I broke down the torturous ride into chunks that were less daunting than its entirety. I told myself that I could get to the next intersection and then I’d reassess and see if I needed to stop. When I arrived at the next intersection I’d repeat the process. Before I knew it, there was only one more block to go and you KNOW I wasn’t giving in at that point!
It reminded me of life and how challenging and overwhelming it can be at times. Sometimes I find myself paralysed by the weight of choice and the only way I can be shaken free of that paralysis is to break down the tasks into smaller tasks. Every step forward is a good thing. You might take a step back to stabilize yourself, or your pace may be incredibly slow or you may even wobble a bit as you take the next step forward. But every step forward is a good thing and sometimes the smallest steps bring us the most distance forward.
So here’s to conquering the hill. A moment of achievement. A moment of accomplishment.
I’m going to ride into work again on Monday and I look forward to conquering the hill once again.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Moments D142: Unexpected Visitors
Today was a milestone day for me. It was nine years ago today that I wed my now ex. This is my first anniversary without him in my life. And while it was my choice to leave our marriage, I wasn’t prepared for the emotions that flowed through me today about it. They weren’t overwhelming (though I was prepared for that) and I wasn’t really upset, but I did have an indescribably feeling of being blue. I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but I was definitely a touch sad today. It’s a chapter in my life that has come to an end. Sure there are some loose ends to deal with, but for the most part, this chapter is over.
I found myself reflecting back to my wedding day. I was so happy. I was so excited for the big party. But even then, I had an inclination that we weren’t the best suited to one another. I was a foolish romantic then, believing that love would light our way.
And then I began to think of how far I’ve come and how many changes I’ve been through in the last 10 months. I still know it was for the best. For us both. I do hope he is well and enjoying life. And I do hope he isn't hurting too deeply on this day, for a pieces of me is with him always and I care about his well-being and his journey in life.
And amoungst all this weird low-key sadness, I was surprised late afternoon by a dear soul visiting me, just to give me a hug on this milestone day. I didn’t realize it before we met, but I really needed that hug and the few that followed from the first. It felt good to know that someone went out of their way to make sure I was good on this possible tough day for me. That made my heart and soul smile.
And for the record, I had a couple beautiful souls reach out to me today about this too. My Mom, though she skirted the subject, and my bestie. It’s so good to feel loved and understood.
My moment today though rests with the unexpected visitor who brought me the biggest smile on this blue day.
Moments of surprise.
Moments of support.
#moments #hugs #sadness #ex #surprise
I found myself reflecting back to my wedding day. I was so happy. I was so excited for the big party. But even then, I had an inclination that we weren’t the best suited to one another. I was a foolish romantic then, believing that love would light our way.
And then I began to think of how far I’ve come and how many changes I’ve been through in the last 10 months. I still know it was for the best. For us both. I do hope he is well and enjoying life. And I do hope he isn't hurting too deeply on this day, for a pieces of me is with him always and I care about his well-being and his journey in life.
And amoungst all this weird low-key sadness, I was surprised late afternoon by a dear soul visiting me, just to give me a hug on this milestone day. I didn’t realize it before we met, but I really needed that hug and the few that followed from the first. It felt good to know that someone went out of their way to make sure I was good on this possible tough day for me. That made my heart and soul smile.
And for the record, I had a couple beautiful souls reach out to me today about this too. My Mom, though she skirted the subject, and my bestie. It’s so good to feel loved and understood.
My moment today though rests with the unexpected visitor who brought me the biggest smile on this blue day.
Moments of surprise.
Moments of support.
#moments #hugs #sadness #ex #surprise
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Moments D141: Green Purple Pigeons
Today started off with an earlier-than-normal hectic schedule, but through all of the frenzy my sights were on the end of the day. This is not typical for me, for I love to work hard and see the fruits of my labours come to life. But today…..I was leaving on time. I had important plans. I.COULD.NOT.WAIT.FOR.THE.END.OF.THE.DAY!
A chunk of our baseball team is playing in a golf tournament sponsored by one of our team sponsored bars - The Moose & Barrel. And so, my bestie and I headed from work (on time for once) and to hit a bucket of balls at the driving range at Polson Pier. But before balls, we ate Chino Locos with a tasty beer! (If you didn’t know by now, it’s one of my favourites burritos places in the city….okay, who’s kidding who. They ARE my favourite…I have their phone number saved in my phone!!)
And while all of this is delightful and made me happy, this wasn’t the biggest moment of my day. Once our bucket of balls was depleted we were off to see “City and Colour” at the Molson Amphitheatre.
With our plastic guitar of red wine, my BFF and I settled in for the night. I loved the energy of “The Avett Brothers” and in particular enjoyed “Will You Return” and “January Wedding”, but we were eager to hear our favourite songs by City and Colour.
And Dallas Green and his crew did not disappoint. AMAZING. Simply AMAZING. If you are curious to see what the set list was, it’s here.
But today’s moments was a culmination of moments. It was during “Weightless” (you can read the lyrics here). This moment was when I stopped watching the stage filled with my two favourite colours (green and purple) and took a look at the crowd behind me. As I was about to turn back to the stage flashing green spots onto a purple background, I saw a flock of pigeons flying overhead. What a beautiful sight as their bodies and wings sparkled with the light cast over them against the black of the night sky behind them. I watched them circle and twinkle. And then the entire flock disappeared. It was a beautiful, smile inducing moment. And one that makes the list!
Moments that are unexpected.
Moments that are colourful.
#Moments #City and Colour #Food #music #golf #baseball
A chunk of our baseball team is playing in a golf tournament sponsored by one of our team sponsored bars - The Moose & Barrel. And so, my bestie and I headed from work (on time for once) and to hit a bucket of balls at the driving range at Polson Pier. But before balls, we ate Chino Locos with a tasty beer! (If you didn’t know by now, it’s one of my favourites burritos places in the city….okay, who’s kidding who. They ARE my favourite…I have their phone number saved in my phone!!)
And while all of this is delightful and made me happy, this wasn’t the biggest moment of my day. Once our bucket of balls was depleted we were off to see “City and Colour” at the Molson Amphitheatre.
With our plastic guitar of red wine, my BFF and I settled in for the night. I loved the energy of “The Avett Brothers” and in particular enjoyed “Will You Return” and “January Wedding”, but we were eager to hear our favourite songs by City and Colour.
And Dallas Green and his crew did not disappoint. AMAZING. Simply AMAZING. If you are curious to see what the set list was, it’s here.
But today’s moments was a culmination of moments. It was during “Weightless” (you can read the lyrics here). This moment was when I stopped watching the stage filled with my two favourite colours (green and purple) and took a look at the crowd behind me. As I was about to turn back to the stage flashing green spots onto a purple background, I saw a flock of pigeons flying overhead. What a beautiful sight as their bodies and wings sparkled with the light cast over them against the black of the night sky behind them. I watched them circle and twinkle. And then the entire flock disappeared. It was a beautiful, smile inducing moment. And one that makes the list!
Moments that are unexpected.
Moments that are colourful.
#Moments #City and Colour #Food #music #golf #baseball
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Moments D140: Crisp Sleep
Today was an interesting day, for it was back to the office and back to school. Summer is officially over and it's time to find my groove again.
Today was also the first time it was pretty chilly in my room. The first time there was a bit of fall crispness in the air. I kept the windows wide open, enjoyed the crisp breeze through the apartment.
And the happiest of moments, curling into my duvet, pulling it close around me. Having that crispness surround me, but not touch me as my duvet warms the air closest to me. It's a happy moment. It's a content moment, knowing that I will sleep well and deep tonight. It's the first crisp sleep of the season.
Moments where the season changes.
Moments to curl up.
Today was also the first time it was pretty chilly in my room. The first time there was a bit of fall crispness in the air. I kept the windows wide open, enjoyed the crisp breeze through the apartment.
And the happiest of moments, curling into my duvet, pulling it close around me. Having that crispness surround me, but not touch me as my duvet warms the air closest to me. It's a happy moment. It's a content moment, knowing that I will sleep well and deep tonight. It's the first crisp sleep of the season.
Moments where the season changes.
Moments to curl up.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Moments D139: Jack Crickets
Today was the end of my brief mini-vacation with myself. As usual, time seemed to fly by and I was surprised as I wasn’t sure how spending three days on my own would really go. (i.e. would they drag out or would they zip by? - they zipped!)
Today’s moment is actually two separate moments. I can’t help myself - I need to share both! And instead of Jiminy Cricket we end up with Jack Cricket! (Yes, silly fun!)
While this morning was focused on work I managed to get out to the sun and pool by 2pm. I laid their and read and soaked in the sun’s warmth. At one point, I am enjoying the silence and the next I’m enjoying the chorus of crickets chirping. As I turned over I stopped to pull out my water bottle from my bag. My bag slightly moved and the cricket’s song paused. I merely thought that was because of the sound my bag made on the ground. But as I lifted up my bag to bring it closer to me I noticed the cricket. It was hiding under my bag! Here it was, that entire time right beside me singing away. What a glorious moment that was which brought a big smile to my face and few kind comments for the cricket.
Later, on my way home, I was passed by a pickup truck. On its windows at the back are two decals of one of my most favourite characters of all time. Jack Skellington. Like this one:
Today’s moment is actually two separate moments. I can’t help myself - I need to share both! And instead of Jiminy Cricket we end up with Jack Cricket! (Yes, silly fun!)
While this morning was focused on work I managed to get out to the sun and pool by 2pm. I laid their and read and soaked in the sun’s warmth. At one point, I am enjoying the silence and the next I’m enjoying the chorus of crickets chirping. As I turned over I stopped to pull out my water bottle from my bag. My bag slightly moved and the cricket’s song paused. I merely thought that was because of the sound my bag made on the ground. But as I lifted up my bag to bring it closer to me I noticed the cricket. It was hiding under my bag! Here it was, that entire time right beside me singing away. What a glorious moment that was which brought a big smile to my face and few kind comments for the cricket.
Later, on my way home, I was passed by a pickup truck. On its windows at the back are two decals of one of my most favourite characters of all time. Jack Skellington. Like this one:
For me it was a sign of a wonderful weekend meant to be for me. It too brought a huge smile to my face as I headed home. A great way to end my weekend adventure.
Thus the blog of Jack Crickets!
Moments of silence and warmth.
Moments of song.
Moments to smile and appreciate.
Moments of silence and warmth.
Moments of song.
Moments to smile and appreciate.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Moments D138: Eucalyptus Steam Room
Today was an incredible day. It was a day to myself and for myself. I rarely find myself in this situation as I love to be busy and better yet, I love to be busy with people. But today, I chose to isolate myself. It was time to reconnect and recharge.
Today the sun was shining so I spent some time by the pool and read. It was cool in the 18 degree breeze, but the sun was hot and the pool was (thankfully) warm. I finished up a book I had been hanging onto from a co-worker for months now. Boy do I feel good that I can give it back to him tomorrow. I also started two other books. Triple check on the feeling good.
But the best part of my day was heading out late afternoon to the Scandinave Spa. I could talk to you about how incredible the grounds were, or the friendly staff, or the large (very hot) sauna or one of the best shiastu/swedish massages I’ve ever had in room 11. Each and every one of those pieces of my experience today were amazing moments. (And yes, I will likely track down the RMT to keep in touch with him regarding his new farm/resort project, but I might even try another treatment with him (even though I love my current RMT!!) He was just that incredible with his sharing of energy and his treatment style.)
But today’s biggest moment. The moment that stands out most prominently is when I had the eucalyptus steam room all to myself. At one point the steamer shut off and it was dead quiet in the steam room. All you could hear was a faint “drip…..drip……drip” as the steam condensed on the ceiling and fell back to the floor below. It was this moment, in dead silence where I slowed my breathing to a crawl and imagined feeling every inch of my skin in the steam. It was hot and the eucalyptus tickled one’s nose but on the skin it was a tingling sensation. My skin was tingling and covered in steam/sweat. As the steam rolled over my skin I wondered if there was a way to separate body from mind and I focused on the rolling steam along my skin, but in a detached way. It was an interesting exercise and one that I won’t soon forget.
I revisited the steam room a couple of times beyond that experience. Unfortunately I wasn’t to have the room to myself again. It’s not quite the same listening to other people breathing/moving/coughing. It was a moment for myself. It was a moment for my deepest me. It was a pretty incredible moment.
Moments of quiet reflection.
Moments for self.
(and yes, girlfriends, be ready. This is what I want to do for my birthday next year!)
Today the sun was shining so I spent some time by the pool and read. It was cool in the 18 degree breeze, but the sun was hot and the pool was (thankfully) warm. I finished up a book I had been hanging onto from a co-worker for months now. Boy do I feel good that I can give it back to him tomorrow. I also started two other books. Triple check on the feeling good.
But the best part of my day was heading out late afternoon to the Scandinave Spa. I could talk to you about how incredible the grounds were, or the friendly staff, or the large (very hot) sauna or one of the best shiastu/swedish massages I’ve ever had in room 11. Each and every one of those pieces of my experience today were amazing moments. (And yes, I will likely track down the RMT to keep in touch with him regarding his new farm/resort project, but I might even try another treatment with him (even though I love my current RMT!!) He was just that incredible with his sharing of energy and his treatment style.)
But today’s biggest moment. The moment that stands out most prominently is when I had the eucalyptus steam room all to myself. At one point the steamer shut off and it was dead quiet in the steam room. All you could hear was a faint “drip…..drip……drip” as the steam condensed on the ceiling and fell back to the floor below. It was this moment, in dead silence where I slowed my breathing to a crawl and imagined feeling every inch of my skin in the steam. It was hot and the eucalyptus tickled one’s nose but on the skin it was a tingling sensation. My skin was tingling and covered in steam/sweat. As the steam rolled over my skin I wondered if there was a way to separate body from mind and I focused on the rolling steam along my skin, but in a detached way. It was an interesting exercise and one that I won’t soon forget.
I revisited the steam room a couple of times beyond that experience. Unfortunately I wasn’t to have the room to myself again. It’s not quite the same listening to other people breathing/moving/coughing. It was a moment for myself. It was a moment for my deepest me. It was a pretty incredible moment.
Moments of quiet reflection.
Moments for self.
Moments to recharge.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Moments D137: Decals
Today has been an incredibly introspective, lazy day. Waking later than normal after crashing last night later than normal, my day had a slow start. I have had much time to myself with my thoughts and emotions. I must say: “Bravo me for enforcing the boundary.”
It hasn't been easy for me to keep my isolation and focus on me today as I had planned, but at the end of the day, I’ve managed to do just that. It’s been a good day. It’s been an interesting journey through time, emotions , wants and needs.
But today’s special moment is actually a silly one. With so much seriousness and depth, I felt it was necessary to do something silly for myself. While out I stopped at the local drug store and picked up some nail polish and nail decals. I’ve never used nail decals before, but today they were on sale and there were dragonflies in the package. And so, this evening I painted my nails and added the cute and silly decals to my nails. When I look at them, I smile and giggle a wee bit. It’s silly but it makes me smile. Dragonfly decals. Yes. That’s my moment today. My moment that stole me away from the seriousness – it was like a breath of fresh air.
Moments to be silly.
Moments of fresh perspectives.
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