Moments D533: Pause & Acknowledge

Today was a day touring about Lake Elsinore and doing typical couple-like things.  It was quite a day. And though our dinner this evening with two of EQ's amazing friends was incredible (and well worth a nod as the moment of the day), today's moment goes a little deeper within me.

Today's moment comes from late this afternoon.  It was a moment where I found myself over thinking things and overwhelmed with the changes to come.  A swirl of emotions.  A never ending checklist in my mind which was present all day and it became oppressive.  My breathing was shallow and my mind simmering with all that needs to get done.  It wasn't quite a panic attack, but it wasn't far off.

And just as those feelings rose to the surface.  It was seen.  I'm typically quite good at concealing, but in that moment, where I was caught up in the hurricane of emotions and thoughts, EQ caught my eye, asked me how I was, quickly enveloped me into his arms, placed his hand upon my heart and looked deep into my eyes.  And then we breathed.  With a few deep breaths and fewer words, my anxiety dulled down to a more manageable buzz instead of the whirl it had been.

Moments feeling on the edge and antsy.

Moments realizing your partner sees you and can calm you just by acknowledging the feeling.

Moments - D15; Lilacs and Rainbows

Today was a great day, but today’s magical moment isn’t the amazing concert that I went to….no, no no. That would be too easy. (And it was pretty incredible, I sang my heart out!)

Today’s magical moment isn’t the two beautiful souls that I shared such an amazing evening with. Nope. Too easy.

Today’s magical moment was walking home from the bike shop. The air was clean from the fresh spring rain and slightly perfumed with lilacs. Every step…every breath I enjoyed. I smiled. I paused to appreciate the beauty of it.

AND that magical moment was quickly followed by seeing a VERY subtle rainbow on the horizon. So subtle that I wondered just how many others in their rush hour drive paused to notice the sky and its beauty.

Moments.

Pause.

Breathe.

Repeat.

Today, tomorrow and always.

Moments - D14; Forgiveness & Breathing

Forgiving a deep grievance is never an easy task.  I honestly believe that people don't typically intend on hurting others.  I believe that most of the time grievances are born out of fear.  Fear of action.  Fear of inaction.  Frozen.

In my opinion (should anyone care to hear it!) is that there is too much fear in our world.  We fear failure.  We fear success.  We fear others and worst of all, we fear ourselves.  We fear looking at fear dead on.

I am a being that likes to recognize fear.  To analyze it and to question it.  This does not mean that I am without weakness to its painful grasp, for I surely am.  But I believe in love and light and sharing that love and light AND accepting that love and light from others when I am so fortunate to receive it.

In the past month, I have had several deep grievances thrust upon my being.  I don't fault the souls that fell victim to their fears, if anything I am saddened by the loss of love and light in their lives.  I forgive them for their actions.  I forgive them for their inactions.  I know these were born out of fear and not of malicious intent.  I forgive them....and I mirror back to them love and light.  May they find their way through the darkness that envelopes them.

As I have processed through some of these grievances I have learned the importance of breathing.  Of stepping away from the fear that can grip you.  Pause.  Breathe.  Repeat.

A couple of long exaggerated breaths can give a soul a wondrous change in perspective; the fear dissipates and you are filled with love and light.

Pause.  Inhale.........E X H A L E........

Repeat.

Yes - it is magical and so deliriously simple.